And soon they would be leaving. As soon as he returned to the ship, they would make whatever final preparations were needed to conclude their research and end their mission. Then the ship would begin its journey home.

Home. Oddly, now that he had lived here, he had a hard time thinking of Toril as home. There was no one there he was eager to return to. He had friends, of course, his biological parents, but there, even close relationships were little more than a comfortable bond.

The door buzzer sounded. A visitor stood downstairs, outside the door to the lobby. Val walked to the intercom panel on the wall and depressed the answer b.u.t.ton. "Yes?"

"Patrick?"

His stomach clenched. He knew who it was. "Julie..."

"Could I...could I come up?"

His voice came out husky. "Of course." He depressed the door release, admitting her into the main part of the lobby, then waited impatiently as she rode the elevator to the floor at the top. His heart was throbbing, thumping painfully against his ribs. His mouth felt dry. He hoped he could keep the gruffness out of his voice when he tried to speak.

He was waiting beside the doors when the elevator opened directly inside his top-floor apartment. He stepped back as she walked out, giving her room, worried that he might do something to frighten her.

"It's good to see you," he said, careful to keep a respectful distance between them, wishing he could haul her into his arms. G.o.d, he had missed her. "I hope you're feeling better."

"I-I'm fine...Patrick. You did say it was all right to call you that. I have a hard time calling you Valenden."

"To tell you the truth, here I feel more comfortable as Patrick. And as I said, I like the way you say it."

She nodded, her face a little flushed, a dark auburn curl looped over one ear. She seemed a little nervous, but in a different way than the last time. Her features looked softer, less tense. Her eyes kept straying toward him, instead of glancing away.

His gaze ran over her clothes, a soft white jersey wool dress that just brushed her curves and fell gently to the floor. Her hair was freshly washed, a deep rich russet, buoyant with color and light. She looked pretty and feminine and he ached just to touch her.

"I'm afraid I don't quite know where to begin," she said. "I've been thinking things over, trying to understand everything that's happened. It hasn't been easy."

"No," he said softly. "I know how hard this has been. I want you to know I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you. I never meant for you to be hurt."

"You mean you didn't expect me to fall in love?"

Something sharp stabbed into his chest, followed by a trickle of warmth. Guilt perhaps entwined with the pleasure he felt in hearing the words. "When I came here, I was a different man. I was only interested in my studies. I didn't even know there was such a thing as love."

"And now?"

"You've given me incredible joy, Julie. All I've done is give you pain."

"I think you're hurting, too, Patrick. I can see it in your face whenever I look at you."

His eyes slid closed. He hurt all right. He had never known such agony. He looked into her face, studied each soft curve and line. "I love you, Julie. Like so much that has happened to me, I never understood what loving someone could do to a man. Now I know."

Julie blinked several times and glanced away, but a tear rolled down her cheek. "I've tried to bury my feelings. I told myself the man I loved was dead, that he died that day on the sidewalk in front of The Grill. But it wasn't the truth. In the past three days, I've had time to think. The storm tonight, somehow it made things clearer...like the rain, washing away the dirt on a muddy street. I was never in love with Patrick Donovan. I was attracted to him, yes, but I never loved him. It's you I love. Whoever you are. Wherever you've come from. I love the man Patrick has become."

He watched as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. He wanted to go to her, but he was afraid. It took an effort of will to remain where he was.

"These past few days have been a nightmare," she said. "Part of me died the day I lost you, the day I found your journal. Now that I realize the man I love is you, my heart is breaking for the day I will lose you again."

"Julie..." He closed the distance between them, swept her against his chest and held her close, praying she wouldn't push him away. Instead she slid her arms around his neck and clung to him, the wetness of her tears soaking the front of his shirt.

"I love you," she whispered. "I want to be with you for as long as I can. I don't want to waste a moment more."

"Ah...Julie." He buried his face in her hair, held her as she wept against his shoulder. "If I could stay I would. It isn't something I can do."

A slight motion of her head. "I know."

He smoothed her silky red hair. "Stay with me, here in the apartment. We'll take time off from work. Be together every minute we can."

Julie looked up at him, tears clinging to her long black lashes. "I can show you things, Patrick. I can show you beauty unlike anything you've ever known."

He kissed her eyes, her nose, her mouth. "You're more beautiful than anything I've ever known."

"Hold me, Patrick. Make love to me. We've wasted too much time already."

The words surprised him. He drew a little away. "Are you certain? I know things are different between us now. I don't expect you to feel exactly the same."

She smiled with such warmth his heart squeezed. "I want you, Commander. Why wouldn't I? You're two men-Patrick and Val-formed into one. You're every woman's secret fantasy and you belong to me."

He chuckled, a rumble deep in his chest, the first bit of happiness he had known in days. "So...you little hedonist, you want both of us at once. All right, my love. I shall see what I can do."

Julie laughed as he scooped her up, her long white dress trailing over his arm. Smiling, he carried her into the bedroom, set her down on his bed and slowly began to undress her, removing first her rain-soaked shoes, then drawing the dress over her head. He discovered to his pleasure that she wasn't wearing a bra.

Outside the window, lightning flashed, illuminating the bedroom and casting their silhouettes against the wall. Thunder followed, rumbling across the sky, obliterating for a moment the reckless beating of his heart.

He paused as she stood before him dressed only in a pair of lacy white thong panties. He went hard just looking at her, wanting her as he always did. Bending his head, he kissed her, savoring the taste of her, enjoying the feel of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s lightly brushing his chest. Her small hands clutched his shoulders, but Val drew away.

"On second thought, I don't believe Patrick would make love to you in here-far too tame for this occasion."

"What occasion?"

"Our very first orgy."

Julie laughed as he lifted her up and carried her into his huge black marble bathroom. "And Val would want to be someplace where he could watch the storm." There was a ma.s.sive skylight in the room, revealing flashes of the lightning overhead. A big corner window looked out over the city, yet the apartment was on a high enough floor that no one could see in.

Julie smiled at him as he set her on her feet beside the big sunken tub and turned the gold handles on the faucet, adjusting the temperature to suit him. A little tepid for Julie, he realized, so he turned the hot water up a little bit more. A row of clear gla.s.s jars sat on a ledge above the tub. He took one down, dumped in a handful of pine-scented bubble bath, then began to strip off his clothes.

Julie's gaze ran over his body, watching the flex of his muscles, the movement of sinew over bone. Appreciation sparkled in the depths of her green eyes. Pride was there, too. And desire. She had not lied to him. It made him want her even more.

As he had discovered, he was a different man now. Where excess had once been unheard of, his pa.s.sions now ran deep and extreme, a inexorable part of him.

His erection thrust forward, thick and hard, throbbing with each of his heartbeats. His gaze traveled over her beautiful upturned b.r.e.a.s.t.s, the soft rosy mounds at the crests. He a.s.sessed her tiny waist and the swell of her hips, her well-shaped legs and slender ankles. The lacy thong panties hugged the line between the globes of her bottom.

Standing naked beside her, he ran a hand over the curve of a firm round b.u.t.tock, cupped it and gently pulled her toward him. She came willingly, her head tilting back as he captured her lips, urged them apart, and took her with his tongue. He groaned at the taste of her, sweetly erotic, warm and softly feminine. He filled his hands with her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, molding them gently, pebbling the ends between his fingers. Lowering his head, he took a nipple into his mouth and her hands came up to grip his shoulders.

She was pressed full-length against him, flesh to flesh, his erection hard against her belly.

"I want you," he whispered, lifting her into his arms and carrying her down the steps of the big marble tub. Turning off the water, he sank down in the airy white bubbles, taking a seat on one of the warm stone steps and positioning Julie astride his knees, her legs splayed on either side of his. She sucked in a breath as he opened his legs, forcing her thighs apart and giving him access to the damp secret place between them.

The water lapped against their bodies, a liquid blanket of warmth. Beneath the surface he began to stroke her, delving deeply, his tongue dipping into her mouth with the same hot rhythm.

Desire surged through him, strengthening his arousal, making him as hard as the marble tub beneath him. Julie moaned and arched her back, unconsciously offering her b.r.e.a.s.t.s to him, enjoying the pleasure he gave, craving more of it, seeking fulfillment.

He would see that she got it, but not for a while. He wanted her to know pa.s.sion more intense than any she had ever known. He felt the bud of her desire plump around his fingers, felt the slick, welcoming dampness of her pa.s.sage. His mouth claimed a breast. He suckled and bit the end, laved and teased her nipple. Several more determined strokes and he brought her to climax, her head falling back as her body arched upward and her muscles contracted.

The storm raged outside, thunder rumbling, deep and heavy, lightning white-hot against the sky. His body burned with that same sizzling fire and desire surged through him. The thunder of his heartbeat throbbed through his veins.

He didn't wait for her to spiral down, but lifted her instead, parting her legs even wider, wrapping her legs around his waist and thrusting himself deeply inside. He paused for a moment, holding her immobile, calming himself so he could go on.

He wanted her so d.a.m.ned badly.

"Patrick..." She whispered the word against his throat as he began to move, gripping her waist, lifting her and surging deeply inside her. The water in the tub began to move in the same pulsing rhythm, lapping over the sides, spilling in warm waves onto the black marble floor.

"Patrick...please...oh, I don't think I can stand it."

But he knew that she could. At least for a few more moments. Long enough for him to fill her again and again, to feel her hands gripping his shoulders, her small teeth biting the side of his neck. Long enough to feel a sweep of pleasure so intense he had to clamp his jaw against it.

He paused for a moment, gathering himself, working to regain his badly slipping control. But Julie wouldn't wait. Instead she took up the hot, stroking rhythm, taking him even more deeply, riding him and wringing a groan from his throat.

Heat burned into his loins, swept over him like a wave. Her muscles tightened as she reached a powerful climax and his own release burned through his blood. He came for long, sweetly satisfying moments, and Julie climaxed again, her nails digging into his back.

She had a pa.s.sion to match his own, he thought, still drifting in pleasure, waiting for the thunder of his heartbeat to slow. He tenderly kissed her forehead, bent his head and softly covered her lips. She loved him. She had come back to him, overcome every obstacle that should have kept her away, and because of the trust she had placed in him, he loved her even more.

Yet soon he would have to leave her.

Not tonight. Not for the next few days. And until that time, he meant to make the most of every hour, every minute. As soon as his body was ready, he would make love to her again.

Twenty-One.

Laura hung up the phone and walked through the beaded curtains into the living room of her tiny apartment. Brian lay in a comfortable sprawl on the couch. The Dodgers were playing the Mets, the Mets ahead two to one in the bottom of the seventh inning. She had no cla.s.ses at city college today and the day off from her part-time waitressing job.

"Who was that on the phone?" Brian asked during a commercial. It felt good to have him there, so natural somehow, to have him around the house. She didn't know why, it just did.

"That was my sister."

"That's the second time she's called in the past two days. What's up?"

Nothing particularly exciting. My sister's just in love with a man from outer s.p.a.ce. Other than that there's not much new. "Just girl talk. We went shopping a couple of days ago. She wanted to know how I liked the clothes she bought me."

Brian propped himself up on an elbow. "Your sister's always so thoughtful. She loves you very much."

"Julie's a terrific sister and a very good friend." The best, Laura thought, her mind going over the phone conversations they'd had in the past two days. They had talked about the things that Patrick had told her, things about the place he lived, a planet called Toril. Patrick said he had convinced his superiors to hold off the testing they were doing on human subjects. For a while at least, Laura and the others would be safe.

Brian sat up on the couch, noticing for the first time the lightweight plaid wool jacket she carried draped over her arm. "You're not going out in this rain?"

"Actually, I am. I knew you'd be watching the game. I've got an errand to run that will take me a couple of hours. I thought maybe when I got back, we could go out and get some pizza or maybe order Chinese."

There was something about the way he looked at her, his thick brown eyebrows pulled together, the lines of his face going dark. Brian was a lot of things, but he was not a fool.

"Where are you going, Laura?"

She didn't want to lie to him again. She had been lying way too much lately. "There's a meeting at Robert Stringer's. I won't be gone long."

"The abduction group? You promised me you were through with all that."

"I am through with it. As a matter of fact, that's the reason I'm going. I want to say goodbye to the people in the group. I want to end this thing, and to do that, I need to see it through to the finish."

He got up from the sofa and walked toward her, gathered her into his arms. "It's just that I worry about you. I want to protect you, keep you safe from the bad things in the world. But we both know I can't do that. I know this is something you feel you have to do. You're looking for a sense of closure and I think that's good. Do you want me to come with you?"

She shook her head. "No. This time I have to go alone." There were things she needed to say and she wouldn't be able to do it with Brian there. She could just imagine the look on his face, his expression changing from gentle condescension to out-and-out disbelief.

"This is the last time, Brian. I promise."

"All right." He kissed her gently on the lips. "Just remember, if you need me, I'm as close as the phone. Drive carefully and I'll see you when you get home."

I'll see you when you get home. The words had a warm, intimate ring. They were practically living together. Brian spent every spare minute at her apartment or she went over to his. It was only a matter of time before he asked her to move in. She wasn't sure she would. Maybe she would suggest they move into a different apartment, neutral territory they could furnish together. She thought Brian might like the idea.

Whatever the case, there appeared to be a very good chance there was a future for them.

Now that she had dealt with her fears.

Incredibly, she had been able to do that far better than she would have imagined. In the beginning, she couldn't believe the things that had happened to her were real. She felt constantly terrified or angry, felt as if her mind were crumbling and she was staring insanity in the face. Later, all she wanted to do was hide, find some sort of shelter, yet there was no place she felt safe.

Lately, she had discovered an odd sort of peace. The last time she had been abducted, she had seen the Visitors in a whole different light. She had felt oddly as if she were a part of them, as if they were somehow a part of her.

Or perhaps it was merely acceptance. That she had found her way at last in a world that had suddenly changed.

The drive to Long Beach didn't take too long. The group was milling about in the white-carpeted living room when she got there. They turned in her direction, waiting for her as she walked into the foyer. She waved and continued in their direction.

What she hadn't told Brian was that she was the one who had asked Dr. Winters to call this special session of the group. Apparently everyone else was aware.

"Laura, it's good to see you." Dressed in his usual jeans and a long-sleeved white shirt, Dr. Winters walked toward her. Standing several inches shorter than she, he clasped both her hands in his, leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "You missed the last meeting. We thought perhaps you had decided to stop coming."

"Actually, I have. But I wanted to see you all one last time." She turned toward the others who were cl.u.s.tered around her and smiled. "I wouldn't have asked you all to come if it hadn't been important. I didn't want to wait for your next meeting because I know what a struggle it can be just to get through the week."

"What is it, Laura?" Leslie Williams, the black Xerox saleswoman from San Diego, looked at her with a worried frown. "I thought something terrible must have happened, but you don't look upset."

"I'm fine. This isn't about me, it's about you. What I wanted to tell you is going to be hard to believe, but in time I'm convinced you'll see that it's the truth."

"Why don't we all sit down?" Dr. Winters suggested. "Give Laura a chance to say what she's come here to tell us." They all took their usual favorite chairs, Laura ending up on the white wool sofa.

"I don't know where to begin exactly." She met each interested gaze directly, even the nervous darting glance of the schizophrenic, Matthew Goldman. "I can tell you I've been abducted again since the last time I saw you. I can tell you it was different this time. Though the examinations were pretty much the same, I experienced some sensations that I hadn't before, things a few of you have mentioned, the feeling of oneness, the gentle side of the Visitors that I had never seen. But that isn't really important. What I came here to do is deliver a message. As I said, I can't expect all of you to believe it. I only hope it gives you some comfort and in time you'll discover it's true." She took a deep breath and plunged ahead, thinking of Julie and Patrick and the things Patrick had said.