SERVING IN TEXAS

To old Satan Texas was given By the Lord who lives in Heaven, And the Devil quoth "I've got what's needed To make a good h.e.l.l," and he succeeded.

He put sharp thorns all over the trees, And mixed up sand with millions of fleas; He scattered tarantulas along the roads, Puts thorns on cactus, and horns on toads.

He lengthened the horns of the Texas steers, And put an addition to the rabbit's ears; He put a little devil in the bronco steed, And poisoned the feet of the centipede.

The rattlesnake bites, the scorpion stings, The mosquitos delight with their, buzzing wings; The sand burs prevail, and so do the ants, And those who sit down, need half-soles in their pants.

The heat in the summer is one hundred and ten, Too hot for the Devil and too hot for the men; The wild boar roams thru the back chaparral, 'Tis a h.e.l.l of a place that he picked for a h.e.l.l.

O'REILLY'S GONE TO h.e.l.l

O'Reilly was a soldier man, the pride of Battery "B."

In all the blooming regiment no better man than he; The ranking duty Non Com., he knew his business well, But since he's tumbled down the pole, O'Reilly's gone to h.e.l.l.

Chorus:

O'Reilly's gone to h.e.l.l, since down the pole he fell.

They drank up all the bug juice the whiskey man would sell.

They ran him in the mill. They've got him in there still.

His bob tail's coming back by mail, O'Reilly's gone to h.e.l.l.

2.

O'Reilly hit the bottle after six years up the pole, He blew himself at Casey's place and then went in the hole, He drank with all the rookies and saved his face as well.

The whole outfit is on the b.u.m, O'Reilly's gone to h.e.l.l.

Chorus:

3.

O'Reilly swiped a blanket and shoved it up I hear; He shoved it for a dollar and invested that in beer, He licked a coffee cooler because he said he'd tell, He's ten days absent without leave, O'Reilly's gone to h.e.l.l.

Chorus:

4.

They'll try him by Court Martial, he'll never get a chance To tell them how his mother died or some such song and dance.

He'll soon be in Company "Q" a-sleeping in a cell A big red "P" stamped on his back, O'Reilly's gone to h.e.l.l.

ON THE "BORDER"

This is the Land That G.o.d forgot.

Arizona.

This is the land That the Devil be-got.

Arizona.

In respects, it's possibly Better than h.e.l.l, In Naco.

Hot air, mixed With sulphur smell, In Naco.

There every acre Is desert sand, To take the place Of the "Brim-stone" Land.

In h.e.l.l.

Also, we have the p.r.i.c.kley-pear, In Naco.

Sage-brush and cacti That might compare To pitch-forks.

But should you ask me Where I'd dwell-- Naco, or in that place below-- Just three words From my mouth would flow: "Me for h.e.l.l."

Conditions are settled Down in h.e.l.l; While on the Border, You never can tell.

Arizona!

h.e.l.l, yes!

No watchful waiting, No peace at a price, Like Naco.

The Devil's policy Is firm and concise, In h.e.l.l.

No friendly raids, Nor Mexican strife; Like Naco.

One's die is cast: To boil for Life, In h.e.l.l.

In case of trouble, Of any kind,-- The Devil acts Without change of mind.

Naco--h.e.l.l.

Think of the wonderful Peace Sublime, In h.e.l.l.

I only wish That peace were mine.

ROUTINE

(From a Marine's Diary.)

5:05 A. M.--FIRST CALL I heard the First Call sound, and then-- Just yawned and went to sleep again.

5:10 A. M.--REVEILLE At Reveille I shook the dope, Broke out a towel and a hunk of soap.

5:20 A. M.--ROLL CALL My name rang out upon the air; I hollered, "Here," for I was "there."

5:25 A. M.--SETTING-UP EXERCISE Took exercise, without a rest; I like the Breathing Movement best.

5:45 A. M.--CHOW Oh, what a difference breakfast makes!

'Twas Punk and Java, Dog and Cakes.

6:10 A. M.--FIRST CALL FOR DRILL First call for Drill reminded me-- I'll try the rear rank--"number three."

6:20 A. M.--DRILL Street Riot Drill and Company square; I nearly went up in the air.

7:20 A. M.--RECALL FROM DRILL Recall was music to my ears; I hadn't felt so tired for years.

8:00 A. M.--COLORS The Guard turned out for Uncle Sam And handed him the "Grand Salaam."

8:10 A. M.--SICK CALL One fellow went to show his corn For there's a Hike to-morrow morn.