MRS DUBEDAT Oh, I am sure the train is best.

RIDGEON Well, Mrs Dubedat, we have had a most enjoyable evening.

MRS DUBEDAT [with a touch of shy anxiety] [with a touch of shy anxiety] What did you think of Louis? What did you think of Louis? Or Or am I wrong to ask? am I wrong to ask?

RIDGEON Wrong! Why, we are all charmed with him.

WALPOLE Delighted.

B. B. Most happy to have met him. A privilege, a real privilege.

SIR PATRICK [grunts]!

MRS DUBEDAT [quickly] [quickly] Sir Patrick: are y o u uneasy about him? Sir Patrick: are y o u uneasy about him?

SIR PATRICK [discreetly] [discreetly] I admire his drawings greatly, maam. I admire his drawings greatly, maam.

MRS DUBEDAT Yes; but I meant- RIDGEON You shall go away quite happy. He's worth saving. He must and shall be saved.

MRS DUBEDAT rises and gasps with delight, relief, and gratitude. They all rise except SIR PATRICK and SCHUTZMACHER, and come reassuringly to her.

B. B. Certainly, c e r-tainly.

WALPOLE Theres no real difficulty, if only you know what to do.

MRS DUBEDAT Oh, how can I ever thank you! From this night I can begin to be happy at last. You dont know what I feel.

She sits down in tears. They crowd about her to console her.

B. B. My dear lady: come come! come come! [very persuasively] [very persuasively] c o m e come! c o m e come!

WALPOLE Dont mind us. Have a good cry.

RIDGEON No: dont cry. Your husband had better not know that weve been talking about him.

MRS DUBEDAT [quickly pulling herself together] [quickly pulling herself together] No, of course not. Please dont mind me. What a glorious thing it must be to be a doctor! No, of course not. Please dont mind me. What a glorious thing it must be to be a doctor! [They laugh]. [They laugh]. Dont laugh. You dont know what youve done for me. I never knew until now how deadly afraid I was-how I had come to dread the worst. I never dared let myself know. But now the relief has come: now I know. Dont laugh. You dont know what youve done for me. I never knew until now how deadly afraid I was-how I had come to dread the worst. I never dared let myself know. But now the relief has come: now I know.

LOUIS DUBEDAT comes from the hotel, in his overcoat, his throat wrapped in a shawl. He is a slim young man of 23, physically still a stripling, and pretty, though not effeminate. He has turquoise blue eyes, and a trick of looking you straight in the face with them, which, combined with a a frank smile, is very engaging. Although he is all nerves, and very observant and quick of apprehension, he is not in the least shy. He is younger than JENNIFER; but he patronizes her as a matter of course. The doctors do not put him out in the least: neither SIR PATRICK's years nor BLOOMFIELD BONINGTON's majesty have the smallest apparent effect on him : he is as natural as a cat: he moves among men as most men move among things, though he is intentionally making himself agreeable frank smile, is very engaging. Although he is all nerves, and very observant and quick of apprehension, he is not in the least shy. He is younger than JENNIFER; but he patronizes her as a matter of course. The doctors do not put him out in the least: neither SIR PATRICK's years nor BLOOMFIELD BONINGTON's majesty have the smallest apparent effect on him : he is as natural as a cat: he moves among men as most men move among things, though he is intentionally making himself agreeable to them on this occasion. Like to them on this occasion. Like all people who can be depended on to take care of themselves, he is welcome company; and his artist's power of appealing to the imagination gains him credit for all sorts of qualities and powers, whether he possesses them or not. all people who can be depended on to take care of themselves, he is welcome company; and his artist's power of appealing to the imagination gains him credit for all sorts of qualities and powers, whether he possesses them or not.

LOUIS (pulling on his gloves behind RIDGEON's chair] (pulling on his gloves behind RIDGEON's chair] Now, Jinny-Gwinny : the motor has come round. Now, Jinny-Gwinny : the motor has come round.

RIDGEON Why do you let him spoil your beautiful name like that, Mrs Dubedat?

MRS DUBEDAT Oh, on grand occasions I am Jennifer.

B. B. You are a bachelor: you do not understand these things, Ridgeon. Look at me [They look]. [They look]. I also have two names. In moments of domestic worry, I am simple Ralph. When the sun shines in the home, I am Beedle-Deedle-Dumkins. Such is married life! Mr Dubedat: may I ask you to do me a favor before you go. Will you sign your name to this menu card, under the sketch you have made of me? I also have two names. In moments of domestic worry, I am simple Ralph. When the sun shines in the home, I am Beedle-Deedle-Dumkins. Such is married life! Mr Dubedat: may I ask you to do me a favor before you go. Will you sign your name to this menu card, under the sketch you have made of me?

WALPOLE Yes; and mine too, if you will be so good.

LOUIS Certainly. [He sits down and signs the cards]. [He sits down and signs the cards].

MRS DUBEDAT Wont you sign Dr Schutzmacher's for him, Louis?

LOUIS I dont think Dr Schutzmacher is pleased with his portrait. I'll tear it up. [He reaches across the table for Schutzmacher's menu card, and is about to tear it. Schutzmacher makes no sign]. [He reaches across the table for Schutzmacher's menu card, and is about to tear it. Schutzmacher makes no sign].

RIDGEON No, no: if Loony doesnt want it, I do.

LOUIS I'll sign it for you with pleasure. [He signs and hands it to RIDGEON]. [He signs and hands it to RIDGEON]. Ive just been making a little note of the river to night : it will work up into something good Ive just been making a little note of the river to night : it will work up into something good [he shews a pocket sketch-book]. [he shews a pocket sketch-book]. I think I'll call it the Silver Danube. I think I'll call it the Silver Danube.

B. B. Ah, charming, charming.

WA LP O LE Very sweet. Youre a nailer at pastel.

LOUIS coughs, first out of modesty, then from tuberculosis. coughs, first out of modesty, then from tuberculosis.

SIR PATRICK Now then, Mr Dubedat: youve had enough of the night air. Take him home, maam.

MRS DUBEDAT Yes. Come, Louis.

RIDGEON Never fear. Never mind. I'll make that cough all right.

B. B. We will stimulate the phagocytes. [With tender effusion, shaking her hand] [With tender effusion, shaking her hand] G o o d-night, Mrs Dubedot. Good-night. Good-night. G o o d-night, Mrs Dubedot. Good-night. Good-night.

WALPOLE If the phagocytes fail, come to me. I'll put you right.

LOUIS Good-night, Sir Patrick. Happy to have met you.

SIR PATRICK 'Night (half a grunt]. (half a grunt].

MRS DUBEDAT Good-night, Sir Patrick.

SIR PATRICK Cover yourself well up. Dont think your lungs are made of iron because theyre better than his. Good-night.

MRS DUBEDAT Thank you. Thank you. Nothing hurts me. Good-night.

LOUIS goes out through the hotel without noticing SCHUTZMACHER. MRS DUBEDAT hesitates, then bows to him. SCHUTZMACHER rises and bows formally, German fashion. She goes out, attended by RIDGEON. The rest resume their seats, ruminating or smoking quietly.

B. B. [harmoniously] [harmoniously] Dee-lightful couple! Charming woman! Gifted lad! Remarkable talent! Graceful outlines! Perfect evening! Great success! Interesting case! Glorious night! Exquisite scenery! Capital dinner! Stimulating conversation! Restful outing! Good wine! Happy ending! Touching gratitude ! Lucky Ridgeon- Dee-lightful couple! Charming woman! Gifted lad! Remarkable talent! Graceful outlines! Perfect evening! Great success! Interesting case! Glorious night! Exquisite scenery! Capital dinner! Stimulating conversation! Restful outing! Good wine! Happy ending! Touching gratitude ! Lucky Ridgeon- RIDGEON [returning] [returning] Whats that? Calling me, B. B.? Whats that? Calling me, B. B.? [He goes back to his seat next SIR PATRICK]. [He goes back to his seat next SIR PATRICK].

B. B. No, no. Only congratulating you on a most successful evening! Enchanting woman! Thorough breeding! Gentle nature ! Refined- BLENKINSOP comes from the hotel and takes the empty chair next RIDGEON.

BLENKINSOP I'm so sorry to have left you like this, Ridgeon; but it was a telephone message from the police. Theyve found half a milkman at our level crossing with a prescription of mine in its pocket. Wheres Mr Dubedat?

RIDGEON Gone.

BLENKINSOP (rising, very pale] (rising, very pale] Gone! Gone!

RIDGEON Just this moment- BLENKINSOP Perhaps I could overtake him-[he rushes into the hotel) .

WALPOLE [calling after him] [calling after him] He's in the motor, man, miles off. You can- He's in the motor, man, miles off. You can-[giving it up]. No use. it up]. No use.

RIDGEON Theyre really very nice people. I confess I was afraid the husband would turn out an appalling bounder. But he's almost as charming in his way as she is in hers. And theres no mistake about his being a genius. It's something to have got a case really worth saving. Somebody else will have to go; but at all events it will be easy to find a worse man.

SIR PATRICK How do you know?

RIDGEON Come now, Sir Paddy, no growling. Have something more to drink.

SIR PATRICK No, thank you.

WALPOLE Do y o u see anything wrong with Dubedat, B. B.?

B. B. Oh, a charming young fellow. Besides, after all, what c o u l d be wrong with him? L o o k at him. What c o u l d be wrong with him?

SIR PATRICK There are two things that can be wrong with any man. One of them is a cheque. The other is a woman. Until you know that a man's sound on these two points, you know nothing about him.

B. B. Ah, cynic, cynic!

WALPOLE He's all right as to the cheque, for a while at all events. He talked to me quite frankly before dinner as to the pressure of money difficulties on an artist. He says he has no vices and is very economical, but that theres one extravagance he cant afford and yet cant resist; and that is dressing his wife prettily. So I said, bang plump out, "Let me lend you twenty pounds, and pay me when your ship comes home." He was really very nice about it. He took it like a man; and it was a pleasure to see how happy it made him, poor chap.

B. B. [who has listened to WALPOLE with growing perturbation] [who has listened to WALPOLE with growing perturbation] But-but-but-when was this, may I ask? But-but-but-when was this, may I ask?

WALPOLE When I joined you that time down by the river.

B. B. But, my dear Walpole, he had just borrowed ten pounds from me.

WALPOLE What!

SIR PATRICK (grunts]! (grunts]!

B. B. (indulgently] (indulgently] Well, well, it was really hardly borrowing; for he said heaven only knew when he could pay me. I couldnt refuse. It appears that Mrs Dubedat has taken a sort of fancy to me- Well, well, it was really hardly borrowing; for he said heaven only knew when he could pay me. I couldnt refuse. It appears that Mrs Dubedat has taken a sort of fancy to me- WALPOLE [quickly] [quickly] No: it was to me. No: it was to me.

B. B. Certainly not. Your name was never mentioned between us. He is so wrapped up in his work that he has to leave her a good deal alone; and the poor innocent young fellow-he has of course no idea of my position or how busy I am-actually wanted me to call occasionally and talk to her.

WALPOLE Exactly what he said to me!

B. B. Pooh! Pooh pooh! Really, I must say.

Much disturbed, he rises and goes up to the balustrade, contemplating the landscape vexedly.

WALPOLE Look here, Ridgeon! this is beginning to look serious.

BLENKINSOP, very anxious and wretched, but trying to look unconcerned, comes back.

RIDGEON Well, did you catch him?

BLENKINSOP No. Excuse my running away like that. [He sits down at the foot of the table, next BLOOMFIELD BONINGTON's chair] . [He sits down at the foot of the table, next BLOOMFIELD BONINGTON's chair] .

WALPOLE Anything the matter?

BLENKINSOP Oh no. A trifle-something ridiculous. It cant be helped. Never mind.

RIDGEON Was it anything about Dubedat?

BLENKINSOP [almost breaking down] [almost breaking down] I ought to keep it to myself, I know. I cant tell you, Ridgeon, how ashamed I am of dragging my miserable poverty to your dinner after all your kindness. It's not that you wont ask me again; but it's so humiliating. And I did so look forward to one evening in my dress clothes (t h e y r e still presentable, you see) with all my troubles left behind, just like old times. I ought to keep it to myself, I know. I cant tell you, Ridgeon, how ashamed I am of dragging my miserable poverty to your dinner after all your kindness. It's not that you wont ask me again; but it's so humiliating. And I did so look forward to one evening in my dress clothes (t h e y r e still presentable, you see) with all my troubles left behind, just like old times.

RIDGEON But what has happened?

BLENKINSOP Oh, nothing. It's too ridiculous. I had just scraped up four shillings for this little outing; and it cost me one-and-fourpence to get here. Well, Dubedat asked me to lend him half-a-crown to tip the chambermaid of the room his wife left her wraps in, and for the cloakroom. He said he only wanted it for five minutes, as she had his purse. So of course I lent it to him. And he's forgotten to pay me. Ive just tuppence to get back with.

RIDGEON Oh, never mind that- BLENKINSOP [stopping him resolutely] [stopping him resolutely] No: I know what youre going to say; but I wont take it. Ive never borrowed a penny; and I never will. Ive nothing left but my friends; and I wont sell them. If none of you were to be able to meet me without being afraid that my civility was leading up to the loan of five shillings, there would be an end of everything for me. I'll take your old clothes, Colly, sooner than disgrace you by talking to you in the street in my own; but I wont borrow money. I'll train it as far as the twopence will take me; and I'll tramp the rest. No: I know what youre going to say; but I wont take it. Ive never borrowed a penny; and I never will. Ive nothing left but my friends; and I wont sell them. If none of you were to be able to meet me without being afraid that my civility was leading up to the loan of five shillings, there would be an end of everything for me. I'll take your old clothes, Colly, sooner than disgrace you by talking to you in the street in my own; but I wont borrow money. I'll train it as far as the twopence will take me; and I'll tramp the rest.

WALPOLE Youll do the whole distance in my motor. [They are all greatly relieved; and WALPOLE hastens to get away from the painful subject by adding] Did he get anything out of you, [They are all greatly relieved; and WALPOLE hastens to get away from the painful subject by adding] Did he get anything out of you, Mr Schutzmacher? Mr Schutzmacher?

SCHUTZMACHER [shakes his head in a most expressive negative]. [shakes his head in a most expressive negative].

WALPOLE You didnt appreciate his drawing, I think.

SCHUTZMACHER Oh yes I did. I should have liked very much to have kept the sketch and got it autographed.

B. B. But why didnt you?

SCHUTZMACHER Well, the fact is, when I joined Dubedat after his conversation with Mr Walpole, he said the Jews were the only people who knew anything about art, and that though he had to put up with your Philistine twaddle, as he called it, it was what I said about the drawings that really pleased him. He also said that his wife was greatly struck with my knowledge, and that she always admired Jews. Then he asked me to advance him 5o on the security of the drawings.

SCHUTZMACHER Of course I couldnt lend money to a stranger like that.

B. B. I envy you the power to say No, Mr Schutzmacher. Of course, I knew I oughtnt to lend money to a young fellow in that way; but I simply hadnt the nerve to refuse. I couldnt very well, you know, could I?

SCHUTZMACHER I dont understand that. I felt that I couldnt very well lend it.

WALPOLE What did he say?

SCHUTZMACHER Well, he made a very uncalled-for remark about a Jew not understanding the feelings of a gentleman. I must say you Gentiles are very hard to please. You say we are no gentlemen when we lend money; and when we refuse to lend it you say just the same. I didnt mean to behave badly. As I told him, I might have lent it to him if he had been a Jew himself.

SIR PATRICK [with a grunt) [with a grunt) And what did he say to that? And what did he say to that?

SCHUTZMACHER Oh, he began trying to persuade me that he was one of the chosen people-that his artistic faculty shewed it, and that his name was as foreign as my own. He said he didnt really want 50; that he was only joking; that all he wanted was a couple of sovereigns.

B. B. No, no, Mr Schutzmacher. You invented that last touch. Seriously, now?

SCHUTZMACHER No.You cant improve on Nature in telling stories about gentlemen like Mr Dubedat.