This was bad.

Like really bad.

I stared up at the mage with my fears running through my veins. My thoughts swarming around my head and only seeing the bad in this situation.

It was happening again.

I couldn't let this happen.

Quickly, I turned away from him and hurried out of the kitchen feeling him close on my tail. I knew he would catch up to me because my body was still limiting me from moving too much. But I could care less about what my body wanted.

I am not staying in that situation.

"Hold on, Nava." He called out as I quicken my pace but I knew he could walk faster than me. "Nava, stop." I felt his hand curl around my arm, forcing me to stop as I held onto the bundle of clothes tightly.

This can't happen.

It's better this way.

"Nava." He whispered, trying to get my attention and kneeling down to me. "Please look at me. I want to be there for you but you have to tell me what's wrong." My eyes were clenched shut as I held onto the clothes tightly, not wanting to face him.

I couldn't go through that kind of pain again, it'd be easier to reject him now.

I opened my eyes, ready to reject him and leave but as I stared into his blue eyes. I couldn't do that, my wolf would allow me to and once she got in control of my human form she'd spill all my insecurities.

I had to leave before she had the chance to do that.

"I can't." I choked out, shoving past him and down the hallway. I hurried into the restroom and locked it behind me quickly, not wanting to face the truth.

I have to reject him.

He's a mage, just like the people who killed my family.

My children...

My legs finally gave out from underneath me as I felt my chest throbbing in pain. The familiar tightness in my chest from before returning while I clutched onto my chest with my hand, praying it would go away.

It hurts just as bad as losing my Barack again.

"Nava..." He knew I was in here and it hurt that I had another chance at love, but I knew he and I would never work out.

Not with my f.u.c.ked up mind.

"Go away, Levi. I don't want you around me anymore." My voice shook as I spoke and I knew that I wanted to cry. I hated how weak I was, but I couldn't help it. My wolf was warming up to another man.

I was betraying my Barack...

"Okay..." He said, his footsteps receding when I leaned against the wall far away from the bathroom door. The clothes he handed me in a pile near it as I pulled my knees up against my chest and rested my head on them.

What was I going to do?

〰〰〰

I stood up, opening the door and looking around and not seeing anyone around. The daylight had turned into the darkness of the night and I knew that this was my only chance.

I have to leave.

Silently, I closed the door and walked over to the back door as I noticed a figure asleep on the couch close by. I knew who it was, he's been there all afternoon and had fallen asleep.

I heard my Luna's conversation with Beta Alex earlier. They were speaking about Levi and my relations.h.i.+p as if it was a soap opera. I would never understand women's need to gossip about everything but their views only made me realize that the mate bond wouldn't stop until it was satisfied.

My Luna and Beta learned the hard ways and accepted what it wanted after denying it for such a long time.

I will not be the same.

Not again.

I opened the back door, trying not to let it creak that much as I slipped through the door and biding Levi one last goodbye.

The sharp cold air whiped around my face, reminding me that it was December nearing January. I knew that Christmas was rounding the corner and I knew I needed that day to recover from the misery of not having my family with me for the six years.

G.o.d.

It has been so long since I saw them yet the pain feels so fresh.

A sigh left me as I pushed back my fears and walked towards the gate, noticing a few mages on guard duty. When the noticed me, they scrambled away as if I was the black plague making me smile.

At least I am still scary.

"You leaving so soon, darling?" A light-toned woman asks me making me turn around and noticed a woman wearing a soft pink cape and white dress underneath. Her friendly red hair and soft grey eyes watched me closely and noticed my outfit. "It's far too cold to be wearing that." She held her hand, a brush of magic leaving her palm as I flinched and felt a warmth around me.

The soft clothes wrapped around my cold skin while the cape she summoned wrapped around me tightly and kept me warm. A hood covering my black hair, the light green bringing out the dark brown in my eyes.

"Who are you?" I ask quietly as she smiled happily with what her magic did while nodding towards the gate.

"I'll tell you what you want to know or you can leave behind your new life, Nava." She tells me, my muscles growing tense.

"How do y-"

"We can discuss this inside where it is warm." She offered, turning away and walking back into the coven house when I growled and followed her.

I can't f.u.c.king win today.

I walked inside, noticing that Levi was still fast asleep as I looked at her confused. How did he not hear us coming inside?

"I made sure he is asleep. He won't wake up while us ladies talk. We won't hear a thing." She promises with a smile, brus.h.i.+ng past him when I nodded with a pleased look.

Will he wake up if I poke him?

I leaned over the mage, his features peaceful but troubled making me tilt my head. My hair spilled over my shoulder as I reached out but quickly stopped myself.

What was I doing?

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"It's fine. He's too exhausted to even know it was you touching him. He's been running himself wild ever since you fell into that coma." The woman tells me, using her magic to put together something as my cheeks grew red.

d.a.m.n.

That's really embarra.s.sing to be caught wanting to touch him.

"What do you mean?" I cursed myself once my thought broke out of the surface, not wanting to admit that I wanted to know about my second chance mate.

"Well. That a.s.shole Dylan was always making him feel like a child so your Alpha offered to train him. Our little Levi was very determined to kick that dragon's a.s.s so he took Zavier on his offer. His days have been very chaotic. Training with Zavier, then learning new magic spells, checking up on his little brothers, then spending the night with you." The woman smiled softly at Levi before turning to me. "Here. He made this for you earlier." She handed me a plate of food and a coffee cup.

I noticed the food and felt myself growing hungry at the sight.

"G.o.d. I love this stuff." I admit out loud as we walked over to the table. She sat beside me when I placed the plate and cup on the table, looking over at her. "Aren't you going to eat anything?" I ask her.

"No. It's too late and I am not really hungry." Her smile encouraged me to eat while she started talking. "I should introduce myself. I am High Priestess Dawn, but you can call me Dawn. Faye, Levi and I treated you when you first got here." Dawn introduced as I munched on the fried rice and vegetable combo.

"I wanted to ask you what it was that damaged my wolf? Usually, I am quick to heal but I'm being told it took two weeks." I comment, curious what it was that hurt my wolf.

It took a lot to hurt the wolf and when she or he is damaged.

The risk of dying increases.

Especially for a born wolf.

"There was dark magic inside of you." She finally said after a moment, her expression growing grave. "Levi told me who was fighting you and the mage you were against is one of the greatest. He was a late cousin of mine who was always interested in the dark arts. His power entered into you from your back then started to consume your whole being. We were lucky to treat you when we did. Your wolf was dying." She explains making my blood run cold, suddenly not hungry.

I was... going to die?

Of course, the thought went through me but I never expected such power to be real.

"But that doesn't explain my previous fight. I fought this dark mage before and never was wounded as badly. I lost to him before, this time I won. So how did I almost die when I ended up killing him in the last fight?" I question, not understanding any of this.

I should have died before then since I fought him before.

He caused more damage the first fight so it would make more sense if I died after the first fight, not the second one.

"Well... Either way, your body was weaker and his dark magic got inside of your body. With every moment after that fight, you grew weaker and weaker. Whether you beat him or not, it wouldn't have mattered. Your wolf was being infected." She shook her head when I bit my lip at the thought of not having my wolf in my life.

"Is that why you had Levi give me some of his blood?" I thought out loud.

"Yes. I knew that a mate's blood will heal the other quicker than anyone else. I thought about having Zavier give you some of his blood but then Levi announced you both were mated. I had to take that chance because it was the only way to save your wolf." Dawn tells me as I frowned.

"Levi did that?" I said making her laugh.

"Of course. Any male would be happy to be mated with a woman like you. You practically saved two children, a Luna, and several others by killing that dark mage." Dawn notes making me smile and pick up my fork again.

"I couldn't even save my own family... What makes you think anyone would want to be mated with me, Dawn? You protected your family, but imagine you couldn't. Imagine you sat there watching your daughter starve to death and a.s.sa.s.sins causing a miscarriage. Imagine that and you will understand my grief." I told her in a sharp tone, immediately feeling bad since she was just trying to help me.

"I know, darling. I've felt your sorrow and agony. My power as a High Priestess lets me scan through the memories of those I heal and trust me. If I ever knew those a.s.sa.s.sins I'd curse them. But you've already killed them and there's nothing I can do for your past." Dawn admits to me when grabbing a hold of my shoulder. "But that's the past now. You may have a chance at a future here, with Levi. He's a good man and wants nothing more than for you to be happy. Give him a chance and don't run again. I can't read the future, but I know you will regret it if you walk out those doors right now." She promises in a stern voice before standing up.

I remained sitting, unsure of my decision since she was completely right about everything. Even if I wanted to get mad at her for going through my memories, I felt like I needed that conversation to understand my own thoughts.

But I did not want to risk all over it again.

"He'll wake up once you want him awake. He'll stay asleep if you walk out the door. It is your decision, but don't make the wrong one." Dawn patted my shoulder once again before, leaving the room with soft footsteps.

I continued sitting there, unsure what to do as I rested my hands on my head and groaned.

What was I going to do now?