Her long red hair was disheveled. The gaze in her eyes said she was extremely satisfied. Extremely. She kissed my yoni. Then she kissed my cheek. Touched my face. She touched my face and stared at me like I was an old lover she couldn't shake. I held her. I held her because I knew the good feelings that came after sex, held her and breathed with her. Held her and cooled down.

This was different. This passion after the passion. When it was done with a man, in the end, he might hold you, but he always gave you that slight nudge that said enough was enough, yielded a go-to-your-corner-until-the-next-round, or a go-make-me-a-sandwich look.

I held her and felt as if I was holding myself, as if Kiki Sunshine was my mirror, my truth, as if holding her was enabling me to understand myself on other levels. Physically, mentally, spiritually, and sexually. I had experienced something wonderful and new. I had achieved a new freedom. Even if I never did it again, that freedom would remain with me. Only with me. No one would understand me in this moment, not as I understood myself. They wouldn't be able to see the beauty, the bonding, they would blind themselves to the erotic part, to the learning of self, would only see the act of a whore.

A few minutes passed with us lounging in that glorious afterglow, then we pulled our bodies apart, stayed close to each other holding hands, then fingers, then we separated.

The jazz music seemed louder now. As loud as reality.

I looked at my pile of clothes. Felt so naked. Felt exposed. Felt too vulnerable.

I didn't want to wake up naked with a woman and experience the first light of a new morning. This was just something to add to my Rolodex of clandestine experiences.

I wanted to hold her all night, but I didn't want to hold her another second.

I undid my hair, then redid my ponytail.

That done, I kissed her on her lips, touched her face, gave her a thank-you smile.

Her thank-you smile was broader, owned more brilliance than a movie star's smile.

Kiki Sunshine pulled the towel up over her body.

I gathered my shorts. My pan ties. My sports bra. My T-shirt. Socks. Running shoes.

As I dressed, I imagined this was how a man felt when he had sexed and was leaving a woman.

We exchanged sororal expressions. I had crossed the burning sands into a secret world.

At the door I adjusted my sports bra and finger-waved at Kiki Sunshine.

She grinned. Her grin sending a message, saying if I wanted to return, the door would be open.

I grinned too.

My heart whispered thank you and good-bye.

I opened the door in degrees, made sure no one was out there.

Went on the other side, the sunlight seeming much brighter now.

Heart racing, my smile nervous, I closed the door on that sensual and fulfilling fantasy.

TWENTY-ONE.

Like Dorothy on her quest down the Yellow Brick Road, I was picking up new companions at every turn, new experiences between the rising and setting of the sun.

I turned left out of Hunter's Chase and trotted toward Guilford College Road, turned right at the intersection, jogged in the same direction as traffic, picked up my pace, passed American Flag Self-Storage. Guilford Industrial Park. Big Dog Motorcycles.

As I pounded the sidewalk I smelled Kiki Sunshine on my skin. Her mango and jasmine fragrance blended with my sweat. It was almost as if she was running with me, leading me, chasing me, touching me.

At least four miles were behind me when I made a right at Guilford College proper, the actual college located across from a Hess gas station. I had made it to West Friendly Avenue, some ache in my legs, wanted to turn around, but was beyond the point of no return, ran toward the Guilford College tower, ADOPT A STREET signs creating eye pollution as far as I could see.

I had done so much in the name of plea sure. So much in the last few days.

I ran with my thoughts, feeling like I had deceived Karl. Like I had betrayed Mark.

Soon I was in the God Zone: Trinity Church, Westside Chapel, Friendly Avenue Baptist Church, church after church decorated the well-to-do neighborhood, an area that looked as if it had been built with old money and lined with older trees.

That was when I saw him, first a dot in the distance, coming toward me at an amazing pace. It was dej vu, just as it had been the first time I had seen him running toward me at Stone Mountain. In black shorts and black running shoes. It was Karl, sweat was dripping from his skin.

He ran to me, then turned around and ran with me, cut his pace in half, matched mine.

He asked, "You okay?"

"Yeah. What are you doing out here?"

"Miss you."

"Missed you too."

"Thought you'd be almost back by now."

I waited for him to ask questions, wondered if he knew, wondered if Kiki Sunshine had betrayed me and called him, and that call was the reason he had come searching for me.

I waited for him to show he had the same anger as Logan.

Karl was shirtless. His eight-pack on display, body so nice it looked pornographic.

Skin glistening like it was covered with the tears of many lovers he had left behind.

We ran side by side, and then I followed him through an area where a lot of roadwork was being done, the city of Greensboro keeping the roads in this area smooth. Karl's pace was challenging, could tell he was running much slower to work out with me, and I did my best to keep it moving, sped up to make his run decent, so much of my energy had been released back at Hunter's Chase, and I felt that missing energy as we paced it past North Holden Road, beyond First Lutheran Church.

I raised my hand to wipe sweat from my face and smelled Kiki Sunshine on my fingers. I licked my fingers. Tasted Kiki Sunshine's orgasm on my hands. I was tasting her desire.

A couple of miles later the Shops at Friendly Center appeared on the left side of the four-lane street. I slowed down so I could catch my breath, Karl jogged on awhile before he looked back and saw I was breaking down, was walking with my hands on my hips.

Karl came back in my direction, but before he made it to me, my ego had me running.

This time he ran behind me, let me set the pace.

We made a right at Green Valley Road, a street that fed into Wendover, ran by a line of large homes that all had the same red and white sign posted in their huge yards: NO REZONING STARMOUNT FOREST. I was dehydrated, muscles burning, about to die, but I couldn't stop running; knew that if I did I wouldn't start back. I pushed it by a strip club, then ran through the scent of dead pigs and cows being barbecued.

Big Tree Way was within reach, saw the Exxon station at the corner, that being the finish line.

Karl asked, "What you got left?"

I went inside myself, dug in as deep as I could, took it in fast and strong, turned right, breathing hard, sweating, dripping from every pore, muscles screaming. As I made it to our stopping point, my right hand crossed over to my watch, making the timer stop on instinct. Karl jogged by me like it was no big deal, like he could keep running for at least another week. I kept it moving, breathing hard, salty sweat in my eyes, the world roaring all around me, everything aching, frowning back down Wendover Avenue.

I wiped sweat from my eyes and checked the time on my watch.

Ninety-three minutes.

I'd run ninety-three minutes.

It had been a little over ninety-three minutes since I had completed that wonderful experience with Kiki Sunshine. It felt surreal. As if I had dreamed it all, her aroma rising from me and telling me it wasn't a dream, could feel her tongue and fingers in that place that men desired.

I asked, "How far is that course?"

"About ten and a half miles."

"Felt like twelve."

"It's the slave heat. And the pollen count is just as high here as it was in the ATL."

I felt like a sexual warrior. A dehydrated, starving sexual warrior who was about to pass out.

I said, "Karl, what are we eating for dinner?"

He looked at me and frowned.

I looked down at my clothing. A strand of long red hair was stuck to my skin. I pulled that hair away, flicked it to the ground. He was watching me. My skin glowed, guilt radioactive.

He knew. He knew about Kiki Sunshine.

Rage, jealousy, all of that was in his eyes. A man's insecurities could be volatile.

I licked my salty lips, took a breath and asked, "Karl, everything okay?"

His frown deepened. Fear rose up inside me. That volatile expression reminded me of Logan. The Logan at my door. The Logan in my nightmares. Fight or flight came alive. But I was too spent to run another yard. My mind roared, became defensive, and I prepared what I was going to say.

Yes, I had cheated on you, in some ways. What I did was wrong. But listen. I cheated in order to gain knowledge of self, a knowledge no man could've given me. I betrayed you. I cheated. And it was inevitable. As I know, if we continued, one day, if you haven't already, you would betray me.

My mind churned at a thousand miles per hour as I prepared my case for the court.

In the end we betrayed each other to satisfy ourselves, we had secret experiences because we were following our own desires. We were all cut from the same cloth. The cloth of animals. Animals that started wars. Animals who sought revenge. Animals that needed plea sure. The only difference was this: deception. Dogs didn't lie, male or female. Only people lied, so, in some ways, calling men dogs, calling women bitches, that was an insult to the honesty and integrity of the true dogs and bitches.

That was going to be my opening argument, a foolish rambling that made no sense.

But I didn't get to say any of that; his wall of anger was too great.

He snapped as he pointed at his face, "Do I look like that ugly bastard?"

"What?"

"Do I look like Karl to you?"

Not until then did I realize he didn't have any tattoos.

Not until then did I see the wedding ring on his left hand.

TWENTY-TWO.

In a confused and surprised tone I stammered, "Mark?"

"How in the hell are you going to confuse me with ugly-ass Karl?"

"I'm sorry, baby."

I ran to him, put my arms around him, hugged him tight. "I'm sorry."

"I leave my job site...had more meetings with investors..."

"I'm so, so sorry."

"I rush to the airport, get on the first plane, fly here to see you..."

"I'm really sorry."

"And this is the love I get?"

The man who was cheating on his wife to be with me was here.

I let him go, my smile so wide. "How did...how did you know where to find me?"

"I went by the hotel. Karl told me the route you were running. I reversed the course."

He told me that he missed me so much he had come to find me. Had run miles to meet me.

We walked toward the hotel, sweating and cooling down from our run.

I asked, "You okay? You look a little tense."