Pushing himself up, he brushed his mouth over my cheekbone. His hand released my fist and moved to my waist where he held me as he gently pulled out. I felt the loss of him, leaving me cold and empty. I also needed him where he belonged.

Standing up, he bent over to take off his shitkickers and socks, and everything else. I didn't watch. I didn't move. I simply waited for him to come back to me. When he returned, he lifted me and tugged off my shirt. Then, he stretched the both of us across the bed, so we were lying on our sides in a spoonlike fashion. His right arm snuck beneath my head while his left skimmed from my hip, up my torso, and across my chest to clasp my shoulder. He buried his face in my neck, inhaling deeply, and he pressed a soft kiss there.

"I lost it," he confessed. "I totally lost my fuckin' shit when you drove off."

"What happened?"

"X and Flipper came out and jumped me. They pinned me down until I stopped screamin' for you, and Sheri...she told me what Jason did-"

"She was so scared, Phil. She tried to make him stop. She begged him to. She was shaking so bad," I whispered, remembering the fear on her face and the tremble in her voice. "I think I felt worse for her than I did for myself. At first, I thought he was just being mean to her."

"She knew that I never wanted anyone else to know about that night," he said. "She knows how I feel..."

"What happened after we left?"

He took another deep breath. "I think I scared the shit out of my dad. He was yelling at me, askin' me how it was possible that I drove away the only person I ever loved." His breath caught in his chest. "I threw a lamp against the wall. I've never been violent like that with him-or with anyone really. Then, I found Jason, and..."

My heart froze. "And?"

"I think I broke his face."

Gasping in shock, I asked, "Are you serious?"

"I found him out back, sittin' on the ground. I just walked up to him, grabbed him by the shirt, and planted my fist in his face. I think I literally saw red." Sucking in another deep breath, he continued, "Sheri had to drive him to the hospital. There was a lot of blood."

"Oh, man," I whispered.

"I was ready to kill him. I never believed he'd stab me in the back like that. I don't know just what it was he was hopin' would happen by tellin' you somethin' like that."

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard past the lump in my throat. "Does this mean..." Oh, man, my heart will positively break if- "Does this mean what?"

"NOLA's Junk..."

"What about it?"

"It's not...done...is it?" I whispered at the horror.

"No. But he's fuckin' lucky we're not holdin' auditions for a new guitarist, the shit."

"Do you think he'll quit?" I asked.

"Hell no. It's not like it's the first time the band has come to blows like this. Shit, he and X punch each other in the face at least once a week."

"Yeah, but do they break each other's faces?"

"It was one punch!" he retorted hotly.

"Uh, yeah! That's all it would take from your fist!"

"I don't give a shit. He deserved it. He deserved worse, in my opinion."

"What happened after that?"

"Well, the guys and my dad pulled me off of him, and after Sheri told me to wash off the blood, X drove me over here with his sister and that creepy friend of hers. I think I scared the shit out of them, too."

"Ah, well...maybe they'll think twice about crushing on metal gods from now on. If we could all be so lucky," I joked.

Pulling his arm out from under me, he rose up on his elbow and turned my face toward his. I could see in his eyes that he'd been crying. Knowing that left my heart aching. His hand cradled my face, his thumb stroking the side of my mouth.

Such expressive eyes, I thought. There's true power in them that allows him to peer straight into my thoughts, my soul.

I could feel him searching around in there.

Kissing me with such tenderness, he whispered against my lips, "I want to make love to you."

Drawing in a sharp breath, I told him, "I'd love that."

Pushing himself up, he shifted me onto my back. He stretched over me and pushed as deep as he could. Sliding his arms beneath my shoulders, his hands smoothed up my neck, and he threaded his fingers through my hair, holding me in a way so that he could feel all of me without crushing me. His mouth moved over mine as he started to thrust, long and slow. Sweetly, his tongue played with mine, lazy and wonderful.

"Fuckin' heaven." He sighed.

"When do you start work tomorrow?"

I glanced at my clock, seeing that it was just before eleven.

"I don't," I replied, my fingertips caressing down over his chest. Lying on my side, my body curved into his with one leg draped over a powerful thigh, I had my ear pressed against his shoulder. "I was going to surprise you in the morning but whatever. The Center is being tented for termites. We don't have work until next Monday."

"Seriously?"

I heard the smile in his voice.

"Mmhmm."

"Wanna head back to my place?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm afraid of Alys comin' in durin' the middle of the night and killin' me herself."

I laughed with that confession. "Yeah. But that's only if you hurt me."

He stroked his thumb over my lips. "I did hurt you."

I sighed and shrugged. "I think she meant, like, if you hit me or something."

"I'd never touch you like that, Baby Girl."

"I never thought you would."

Sitting up, I stretched before hopping out of bed and pulling on some clothes. Phil lay there, watching me for a few minutes, before reaching over and picking up the T-shirt I had been wearing.

Turning it right side out, he looked at it with a faint smile. "This is fuckin' old."

"I got it at the music festival eight years ago."

"I love that you have it."

"It was the first time I saw you," I told him, smiling with the thought. "Well, in living memory, that is."

His eyes were positively sparkling as he gazed into mine. "It's really too bad that you don't remember."

"I wasn't even two years old!" I laughed.

"You were my first kiss," he said, a sweet smile making his dimples punch in deep.

My heart tripping, I said, "Really?"

He nodded. "Mmhmm. I saw my dad kiss my mom-she was sober those few weeks-and the way she smiled at him...I wanted to make you smile like that."

I thought I felt my heart crack open for the loving little boy he had once been. "Did I?"

"You bit me and laughed your fat little head off," he replied with a playful scowl. "You made me cry." He laughed and then jumped up.

He started getting dressed as I shoved some clothes into the Burlap Beast.

"But I adored you so much. I forgave you and gave you my Ernie doll."

I froze and stared at him. "You gave me that?"

His eyebrows rose. "You remember it?"

"I still have it."

"Shut the fuck up," he said.

Heading into the closet, I pulled out a box of my old treasures, finding the much hugged, squeezed, and deeply loved Ernie from Sesame Street doll. He was filthy and patched in some areas, and he had a decent grease stain from me sleeping with my face on him throughout my whole childhood. Cradling him to my chest, I turned, and the utter delight on Phil's face was simply awesome to behold.

"I never went anywhere without him for a long time. He made me feel safe," I told him.

Smiling, I gave Ernie a place of honor on my dresser, next to my ancient CD player. Then, I took Phil's hand and led the way down the stairs. Alys, Lili, and X were sitting in the living room.

Well, damn, I thought. If this isn't a bit awkward...

"Hey, man. You guys hashed shit out?" asked X.

"Yeah," replied Phil. "You got your sister home?"

"Yeah. Took her and Becca back to my parents after I dropped you off here. I just got back a little while ago." X replied.

Alys came up and put her arms around me. "You okay?"

I returned her embrace with a one-armed squeeze since Phil refused to release my hand. "Very much so."

Phil dropped a huge hand on her shoulder. "Sorry if I freaked you out, Alys," he told her in a quiet tone.

"It's cool," she replied. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him, too.

Reaching out, Phil patted Lili on the head with his free hand. "You, too, brave Pygmy."

Unable to help herself, Lili launched at us, snuggling into Phil's side.

"Aw! Jeez, man!" cried X as he joined in, mostly squeezing up on Alys.

"You know, your voice carries something fierce, Gigantore," Lili informed him.

"So I've been told," Phil replied dryly.

"Where are you headed?" Alys asked, her voice muffled with her face squashed into Phil's chest.

"His place. I'll come back tomorrow morning before you guys head to work." Then, I'll tell you what went down.

"Okay." Alys replied.

"Well, this has been an exciting evening," Lili announced, freeing herself from the lovefest. "See you in the morning then."

We all pulled apart, and Phil and I headed for the door.

"I'll meet you guys outside," X called over his shoulder at Phil and me.

Shutting the door quietly behind us, Phil pulled me down the steps and out of the direct light of the porch lamp. Wrapping his arms around me, holding me close, he rested his chin on top of my head and sighed, swaying us to whatever music was playing through his mind.

What was going through my mind was the other thing Jason had said to me. Admittedly, I was seething in a bit of pea-green envy. I didn't want to piss Phil off any more this evening, but I was dying to know.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," he replied immediately.

I took a deep breath. "Who's Brigid?"

He froze. "Wow. That asshole covered all the bases."

I swallowed thickly. "Jason said he didn't see what was so special between you and me, but that there was something special when you were with Brigid. He said she was awesome."

"He's full of shit. He could hardly stand her."

"Was she your girlfriend?"

"I guess you could've called her that. I just got tired of sleepin' around, and she looked the part."