It'd been two days since the debacle at the Oxford Union. And no news from Josh.

I'd kept busy at the Turf, putting in an extra shift to make some more money. Anything I could save on top of my expenses would make me feel good about myself, make me believe that I was doing something useful. Something useful for Lucas.

So why was I standing in front of the Ashmolean Museum, where Eleanor had asked me to meet her? I wasn't totally sure. I wasn't dumb enough to think Josh had to choose between Eleanor and me. Josh didn't look at me that way anymore.

I entered the museum. It wasn't my first time in that kind of place. Pregnant, I'd spent a few afternoons in the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, back in Kansas City. At the time, I'd hoped a bit of culture would make up for the senior year I'd missed. It didn't, but the place was free and it'd kept my mind from whirling. At least for a few hours each time.

The Ashmolean was something different altogether. If I'd been in Oxford as a tourist, I'd probably have spent many hours here, sucking up a little bit of the culture of the place. But I wasn't a tourist, so I headed toward the elevator.

Only the elevator was taking its own sweet time, and my nerves made me shuffle on my feet. The stairs would knock off the jitters. I made it to the top floor in record time but out of breath... and as totally nervous as I'd been downstairs. Plus I'd broken into a sweat. I flattened my cold palms over my cheeks to refresh them while I looked at the place in front of me.

The restaurant had a panoramic view, which I should have enjoyed, only my eyes were too busy hunting for Eleanor. And there she was, all absorbed in her smart phone, typing with the tips of her elegant fingers. Her dark hair fell over one shoulder, like the perfect backdrop for her perfect profile.

My heart filled with guilt. This girl might be a spoiled princess, but I had a pretty good "mean" detector, and Eleanor was scoring low.

Agreeing to meet her was manipulative at best. The self-loathing was unexpected and made me want to overdose on antacids. I took a step back and checked the fire exit and staircase behind it. But it was too late. Eleanor waved at me with that sunny, beaming smile of hers. I grimaced a smile back at her. My hand moved in a clumsy wave and I psyched myself up to walk toward her. She welcomed me with her trademarked light hug and flowery perfume, which, by the way, wasn't as sickening as I'd thought before. It was fresh and discreet.

"Thanks for accepting my invitation." She gestured for me to take the seat opposite her. We settled down and a waiter came to pour some water into our glasses. He asked what we'd like to drink and I stuck to tap water. Eleanor ordered a glass of white wine.

"I feel so guilty for the other night," she said, her right hand over her heart.

The water I'd been drinking went down the wrong way. I coughed and covered my mouth with a napkin. When I could talk again, my cheeks were hot and my eyes moist.

Eleanor looked concerned.

"What do you feel guilty about?" I'd been the one who'd bailed from her dinner invitation.

"Josh told me about your grandmother, about the fact she raised you after your mother passed away. I pushed you to come to that debate. I'd been babbling away all night and hadn't seen that you were upset and tired."

So that was the excuse Josh had come up with to explain me bailing out.

"Don't worry about it. It isn't your fault."

"I always do that." There was a blush creeping into her cheeks, over her nose. "When I'm around Josh, I tend to focus only on him. And I become quite insensitive."

"I understand. No apology needed."

The same waiter interrupted us to hand out the menus, and we both got busy going through them. The prices would have made me cough again if I'd been the one in charge of the check. I wasn't, but I chose the cheapest option on the menu anyway.

We gave our order, but when the waiter was gone, he left us with an awkward silence. Twice Eleanor pushed her hair back over her shoulders. I twisted the corner of my napkin. Yes, awkward, and I dreaded what might come next.

"Josh tells me you were more than high school friends."

My chest caved in. I shouldn't have come. I shouldn't. "What do you mean?"

"You grew up together. Spent your childhood creating mischief..."

If I weren't seated, my knees would have buckled. She didn't know. Josh hadn't told her anything. Did he expect me to do his dirty work and break the news to his fiancee? Or maybe he thought I'd just fade away.

"Josh doesn't know I'm meeting you, by the way."

I leaned forward and slid my chair closer. "Why not?"

"I wasn't sure he'd want me to talk to you behind his back... to talk to you about him." I didn't answer, so she continued. "He's at Rhodes House right now." She wrinkled her nose. "Studying. He's always studying."

This was very close to a complaint. Was the girl confiding in me? Sweet Lord, I wasn't the shoulder she should cry on, or the ear to talk to, or whatever girls did when they talked about their boyfriends. My toes curled in my boots.

"Josh is very driven. You said so the other night." That was the only thing I could say without getting too deep.

Eleanor gave a quick, high-pitched laugh. Totally not her. "He is. I respect him for that... but, I wondered." She took a sip of her wine and set the glass back down on the table. Whenever the girl talked about Josh, she glowed and her voice changed timbre. "I wondered if he's always been like that. So focused."

I tilted my head from side to side to give me time to think. But there wasn't much thinking to be done. Josh had always been that talented, bright kid. He studied, went to practice, and everything he did looked effortless. But... but Josh's only real focus had been me. I'd been the center of his world, and I'd grown up knowing that.

"Yes, he's always been like that, very focused." It was a half-lie.

"Does this have anything to do with his family?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've never met his parents. I suggested we go and visit them this summer before Josh starts his new job in D.C., but he doesn't want me to. He never mentions his life in Kansas, absolutely never." Eleanor shifted in her seat. "You're the first person I meet who knew him from before, before he started at Georgetown."

"That's why you want to be friends with me." That was harsh, and got me another blush from Eleanor.

"Yes," she confessed with downcast eyes. "That's one reason. And since we're being completely open, I'm a bit threatened."

I felt my eyes bulge. "How so?"

"Isn't it obvious?" No, it wasn't. "If the one and only thing you finally managed to find out about your fiance's past was a gorgeous blonde, wouldn't you be worried a tiny bit? Plus, he gets all intense around you."

I didn't want any compliments from Eleanor. It was so wrong, and her words left me feeling filthy. I had to get out of this.

"What do you want to know about Steep Hill?" I mumbled. "Fire away."

Eleanor flopped back in her chair. "What kind of boy was Josh? Was he close to his family?"

"To his mother, yes. With his dad, it was more complicated." I could have cursed in relief. Better to talk about the MacBrides than me... me and Josh.

I kept it that way for the rest of the lunch. And I kept the lunch as short as possible. I had to get to Josh, make him choose, and get myself out of this clusterfuck. For everyone's sake.

For Lucas. For Eleanor.

An hour later, we said goodbye. Eleanor had gone back to his place, their place--gag reflex--, and I had to catch him before he made it back home from Rhodes House. There was this little voice in my head whispering "stalker." But I didn't care. I had to speed things up. Clingy or not.

Black clouds hung thick and low. No need to be a psychic to forecast rain. I watched Eleanor's back disappear around the corner of the street. I headed in the opposite direction, towards the city center. I'd ask there for directions. That was when the first drops hit between my collar and the nape of my neck.

I shivered.

I shivered more when the sky opened up, apparently to empty itself on me. I grabbed my collar and pulled my leather jacket over my head. If I hid in a coffee shop or back at the Museum, I'd lose the chance to surprise Josh before he got back to Eleanor. I'd better woman up and get my butt to wherever he was. Soaked or not.

I stepped into the crosswalk.

Wheels screeched and the shrieking sound of a car horn froze me in my tracks. My eyes shut. My heart skipped a beat. Seconds passed. I breathed again. I was alive. The hood of a small car-a fancy, tiny European model, I guessed-was inches away from the side of my thigh.

Close call.

I straightened my jacket and squinted, struggling to see through the windscreen because of the wall of rain bashing against it. The driver jabbed his finger at the side of his head to show that I was the crazy one. At the same time as he recognized me, I recognized him.

Freddie.

Freddie waved for me to get inside his car. I didn't think and rushed over.

"Cassandra with wet hair, so sexy." he welcomed me. Yeah, maybe I should have thought twice, but too late, he'd shifted into gear and we were moving. I put my seatbelt on.

"Where are you heading?"

"Rhodes House," I wanted to swallow back the words. Not a good move.

"Visiting America's National Treasure, Joshua MacBride himself, hey?"

I clasped my thighs tightly. "We're supposed to meet up for a coffee. Catching up before I go back home, you know."

Freddie answered me with a sideways glance, followed by "Let me give you a lift. I was on my way there. That's my alma mater too."

"Thanks," I kept looking ahead, through the rain. This guy was creepy.

But the quick drive was fine and the rain died down. He made a couple of comments when we passed some of Oxford's landmarks. But that was all, and I relaxed against the heated leather seat. Finally, he parked the car by the curb and pointed towards the other side of the road. I didn't have a good view through the steamed-up windshield but, behind a gate, there was another old building, a lot how I imagined an English country mansion to look.

"That's Rhodes House. Josh is likely to be in the library, but you won't get in because you're not a scholar. Do you want me to take you inside?"

I shook my head. "No need. I'll call Josh to tell him I'm waiting outside." Liar, I didn't even have his cell number. Not that he'd take my call anyway.

I'd just stalk him. Hopefully there was only one exit.

I undid my belt, grabbed my bag from by my feet and pushed on the door handle. Freddie leaned across me and shut the door before I could get out. The hair on my neck and arms stood on end.

"I know, Cassandra" he repeated, "I know."

fourteen.

I stiffened. "What do you know?"

"You and Josh are married. He wants a divorce." I had to deny it, but the words got stuck in my throat. "And you don't want to give him one."

"Did he tell you?" Josh might have needed to confide, granted, but to this sleazebag?

"Come on, Cassandra, get that blood back into those lovely cheeks of yours." The tip of his index finger brushed my cheekbone, and I wanted to spit at him. "I overheard your conversation at the Turf the other night. I was in the little boys' room when the two of you were sharing a moment in the courtyard. I didn't want to interrupt, so I stayed hidden."

Josh hadn't said anything, and the weird sense of betrayal faded away. Still, huge problem here.

"So what?" I bluffed.

"Just thought I'd offer my support, a shoulder to cry on." His lips were twisted into a smirk. It wasn't an offer of friendship.

"Bullshit, you want to screw me." Yeah, I could be that classy.

Freddie's eyebrow arched. "What a romantic you make, sweet Cassandra."

I shifted my body so that I could face him and look him straight in the eyes. The hell that stuck-up jackass was going to blackmail me. "If I don't sleep with you, you'll tell Eleanor. Is that it?"

He rested his elbow on the steering wheel and his gaze lowered to my boobs. My shoulders slumped. I glued my knees together.

"Whatever rocks your boat, darling. I could also inadvertently mention Josh's marital status to Eleanor. Who knows, she might be so heartbroken that she doesn't want to see him ever again?"

Eleanor didn't deserve to find out the truth that way. Maybe she shouldn't know the truth at all. It was for Josh to decide. Not Freddie or me.

I shook my head. "I don't think so."

"I think Option Two could really take the wind out of your sails."

"Back off. I won't have sex with you." He tilted his head as if he was looking at a spoiled child throwing a tantrum. "Ever. And Josh won't like you threatening him through me."

I'd struck a nerve because Freddie's lips tightened.

I turned to open the door again but, this time, he grabbed my inner thigh and forced my legs apart. His mouth crashed over mine. I tasted him, and his taste made me want to puke. I jerked my head sideways. His lips slid down my cheek to my neck, to my breasts.

I grabbed his head, yanked him away and slapped him hard. His face got real ugly and his hand clawed over my shoulder to pull me against him. Suddenly his whole body jerked backwards. He lost his hold on me and I had to use the gearstick for support.

The door behind Freddie was wide open. From my angle, I saw the lower half of two people standing on the other side of the car, or rather fighting each other, given the tough rumba they were dancing. I hopped out of the car to discover Josh punching Freddie's jaw.

Ouch.

"Don't fucking touch her." His fist dipped into Freddie's stomach, causing him to bend double.

Ouch again.

I wanted to cheer because Freddie was a total douchebag. Instead I ran towards Josh and my arms circled his shoulders from behind to pull him away. Josh didn't go into fights often, but when he did, he went for blood. At least, he used to.

"Stop!" He froze and I managed to drag him backwards out of Freddie's reach. "He's not worth it."

Josh's body vibrated against mine. His head tilted forward like a bull preparing to charge.

"Let him go." I was still wrapped around him, on tiptoes, my front against his back, my hands clasped over his chest. He laid his on mine and gave them a squeeze.