Annie wasn't listening. She'd already jumped off the machine with relief. Anyone could be calling, she didn't care, as long as she had an excuse to get off the treadmill.

'Annah!'

There was no mistaking the voice at the other end of the line.

'Svetlana, how are you?'

'Vonderrrrful. Dresses sell out all over New York, everybody want one. Now we are worrrking very hard to get new range in place. New fabrics, new colours, playing a little with the styles. Is all so good and so fascinating, no? I go over again next week to make sure everything going well.'

Annie felt the pang of jealousy in the pit of her stomach. Back to Manhattan. Back to the fashion business ...

'So I phone you to talk again about our plan.'

'Yes ...'

'I think it is a very, very good plan. I think it will be amazing. I already organize a bigger apartment.'

'In the same area?'

'Almost. Very nice, very safe. But Manhattan much safer than London. No?'

'So you really think this will be OK?'

'Yes, I already organize work permit with the consulate.'

'Really? And it wasn't a problem?'

'No problem. All organized. So you need to book ticket.'

'Really?' Annie gripped the phone tightly. She could feel her heart thud with the heady mix of excitement and fear. 'I can't quite believe it,' she said. 'Thank you so much. It's amazing. It's a really amazing opportunity.'

'I know. But good for us too. And the weather is still warmer than London, but winter is coming and maybe there will be lots of snow. When are you going to come?'

Chapter Thirty-Eight.

Annie at Heathrow: Trench coat (Aquascutum)

Skinny jeans (Gap)

Highest black heels (Jimmy Choo)

The sea-green bag (Mulberry)

Beige and green scarf (Otrera)

Minty gum (Wrigley's Extra)

Pocket hankies (Kleenex Balsam)

Total est. cost: 1,600

'It's not like I'm retired yet ...'

The ticket and the pa.s.sport were checked by the slightly exhausted but nevertheless smiling lady behind the counter, and the two large suitcases were tagged with labels bearing the big black letters: JFK.

'This flight begins boarding at 8.30a.m., gate number 54, so if you'd like to make your way through security. Have a pleasant journey.'

Annie held the boarding card in her hand and walked at an unusually slow pace through the airport with Lana, trying to stave off the moment when they actually arrived at the entrance to security.

Thank you so much for coming to see me off. You really shouldn't have. It's a long journey and so early in the morning.'

'Don't be mad, of course I was going to see you off.'

'I'm going to miss you.'

'Not half as much as I'll miss you, darlin'.'

'Mum, I'll be OK, won't I?' Lana looked at Annie with a half-nervous, half-smiling expression which Annie understood perfectly.

Lana was scared.

Annie was terrified.

But it was Annie's job to hug her daughter very, very tightly and tell her that of course she would be OK. Because that was her job here. She was the very good mum who was going to give her fledgling bird the nudge out of the nest, so she could learn to fly.

Putting both arms around her and nearly squeezing the life out of her girl, Annie insisted: 'Yes, my darlin', you're going to be more than OK. You're going to be brilliant. Fantastic. You'll take NYC by storm! You will love your new job and you'll be so fantastically good at it. Plus, you've got a great new place with Elena, with your own room! And Elena will look after you ... she'll be the big sister you always wanted.'

'It's only for a year, though and you'll all come out and visit. You will come out, won't you?' Lana's big blue eyes fixed on Annie's anxiously. 'You promise?'

'Babes, my November winter shopping spree is already booked. Then you're back with us for Christmas. We'll see more of you like this than when you were spending all day moping in your bedroom,' Annie said, sounding brightly cheerful but suddenly aware that tears were rolling down her cheeks.

'Don't cry!' Lana exclaimed, but now she was crying too.

'Oh, I love you,' Annie said, hugging her daughter again, 'I love you. This is so exciting, I am so jealous! I wish I was moving to New York to work for a wonderful new dress label; swanning about Fifth Avenue with a Ukrainian executive and her super-mum. It's so exciting!'

'I wish you were coming.'

'I know ... but I have babies, and a day job, and Owen at school and Ed.'

Lana nodded with understanding.

'But you ...' Annie ran her finger over Lana's cheek and brushed away the tears, 'you're eighteen. You have a whole fabulous new grown-up life ahead of you.'

'Oh ... Mum,' Lana said and hooked her chin over her mum's shoulder for the last time ... in a long time.

'Obviously I have lots of fabulous new exciting things ahead of me too,' Annie added, mainly to cheer herself up: 'it's not like I'm retired yet or it's game over ... or anything.'

'Ooh, I've got a present,' Lana said, remembering.

'Oh no ...' Annie dragged a paper hankie across her face, she didn't know if she was strong enough to make it through a present: 'me too!'

For a moment they both searched in their handbags and brought out small wrapped gifts. Then they each sniffed hard, tried not to cry and fumbled with wrapping paper.

Annie was the first to gasp out her thanks. In her hand was a framed photo of Lana, taken by Sye for the Perfect Dress campaign. Annie hadn't seen it before and now that she looked at her daughter's beautiful, serious, oh-so-grown-up face, she felt a fresh wave of pride, mingled with nostalgia and a growing sense of loss.

'Oh thank you, you're beautiful, babes. Look after yourself over there, won't you? Beware all the Taylors, find yourself a nice boy ... or be too busy with work to find any boy at all,' she said gruffly into her daughter's hair as she hugged her again.

'Oh Mum! You shouldn't have!' Lana exclaimed, holding up the beautiful bright blue, hideously expensive patent wallet which was her present.

'Yes, you're a working girl now, you have to have a lovely purse,' Annie insisted, 'for your business receipts and travel tickets and ... oh ... all grown-up.'

For a moment, Annie wasn't sure if she could bear to let Lana go. Then she remembered: it was her job. This was what she had to do. The nest would always be here. She would always welcome Lana back. But now she had to give her the little push to go.

'Send Manhattan my love,' Annie said, setting a big smile on her face and somehow managing to let her arm pull back from Lana's slight shoulder.

'I will,' Lana said, brightening at the thought of the huge adventure she was about to set off on.

'See you very, very soon, my darlin'.'

'Yeah ... OK ...' Lana took a deep breath, 'I guess I better go then ...'

'The duty-free perfume counter is waiting for you,' Annie tried to joke.

Lana tucked the brand new purse into her handbag. She hugged and kissed her mother one last time, turned to go, turned back once again to smile and wave. Then she was gone.

Annie stared at the s.p.a.ce where Lana had been, needing this time to try and compose herself enough for the walk back through the airport.

As she turned to face the airport again, she saw a young mother hurrying towards the departure gate. Holding her hand tightly was a serious-faced girl of about five or six with long dark hair. In the girl's hair was a little clip with a blue gingham bow.

As soon as Annie registered the hair clip, she felt undone.

All that time! All that very happy, peaceful time she'd spent brushing out Lana's long dark hair, over so many years, ever since she was tiny. Brushing it, plaiting it, clipping it back from Lana's little pale face. That time had pa.s.sed.

Annie felt as if her heart might break.

Chapter Thirty-Nine.

Gawain ready to train:.

Silky black boxing shorts (Lonsdale).

Grey sweatshirt (Nike).

Black boxer boots (Lonsdale).

Total est. cost: 90.