'How was New York?'

'New York was fabulous. Unbelievable. I'm kinda homesick,' she said with her best accent.

'How did the dress business grab you?'

'I loved it. I loved it just as much as television. It's very hard to choose.'

'Who are you here with, tonight?'

'My husband, Ed, we're at the should-we-or-shouldn't-we have a dessert moment.'

'Us too! Why don't you join us?' Joanne suggested, 'we'd love that.'

Guy smiled and waved his hand welcomingly over the table. 'Please come over, my wife was just talking about you and I'd love to meet you properly.'

'Guy's in business, finance,' Joanne began, 'but he's currently obsessed with the idea of making a personal finance TV series ... something with a popular touch.' Joanne's eyebrows raised and Annie understood her meaningful look immediately.

'Right, I'm going to go and get Ed, then I definitely think we should have dessert. I'm hearing the siren call of the creme brulee. And yes, I'm prepared to risk the seams on my Spanx just for that.'

Guy looked baffled, but Joanne gave a hoot of laughter. 'I know, d.a.m.n dresses. Really we should all just wear elasticated waists out to dinner.'

'There is no good way to wear an elasticated waistband.' Annie said. 'Believe me, I have tried.'

Ed and Annie strolled arm in arm along the riverfront, wrapped up against the stiff October breeze.

'I love this walk along the Thames,' Annie told him, 'all the lights reflecting in the water. Plus, this is the watery, beating heart of London: Houses of Parliament up that way, Tower Bridge and the Tower of London down there, sw.a.n.ky riverside apartments, everywhere you look. It's old, it's brand new, it's brilliant.'

'But it's not New York.'

'No-oo.' She pulled his arm in tightly: 'It's OK. New York is always there. It'll still be there when I'm ready to go.'

'What about Perfect Dress? Will it still be there?'

'Yes! It'll be a multinational superbrand that I'll be honoured to have such a good connection with. Hopefully, Svet and Elena will be able to give me a great job.'

'Are you sure?' Ed stopped, so that they could face each other properly, 'I don't want to be the person who pressed the pause b.u.t.ton on your dreams.'

'Very poetic,' she said and kissed him on the mouth. He tasted of coffee and Ed and just ... home.

'It's not just you,' Annie told him, 'it's me, who I am. I want to live a wonderful life and do all kinds of wonderful things. I already have ... but I'm also a mum and a wife and that's really important, babes. It's hard to make a good job of all those things. Sometimes the dreams have to take a little step back. They're not going away. I'm not giving up on a single one of them, but I think I have to put some important people first.

'And anyway, you don't want to leave St Vincent's.' She looked hard into his eyes, wondering if there was the slightest sign that maybe he would.

'Not right now, but maybe in the future.'

'Exactly. Owen doesn't want to leave it now either. But in the future, he might want to do something new and exciting. With a little luck ...' she swallowed and crossed her fingers, 'life is long. And I've always believed that all kinds of exciting adventures lie ahead.'

'If you're around, Annie, that will always be true!' Ed said, moving his arms tightly around her.

'I love you,' she told him with a smile full of all sorts of shared understandings.

'I love you too, Annie Valentine.'

'It was supposed to be Annie Leon, remember, I said I would change.'

'I know, but you suit Annie Valentine. It's fine, Valentine is a crucial part of who you are.'

She leaned her head on his shoulder and gazed out at the inky waters flowing smoothly by. 'Yeah ...' she agreed softly.

He was so good for her. She pushed her hands into his coat pockets. Who else could possibly understand how important it was for her to keep her late husband's name? The name Valentine connected her, Owen and Lana to Roddy. His name was the visible thread which kept them all still bound up with him.

She turned her head and kissed Ed's neck tenderly, just below the jaw. 'I have a feeling it's all going to get interesting again.'

'Not more interesting! What next?'

'How serious do you think Guy was about a personal finance programme? He seemed to know an awful lot of interested people. And he's going to get in touch with Tamsin.'

'The idea of you doing a personal finance programme is actually quite funny,' Ed said.

'Why?!'

'Because your personal finances are always a little bit ...'

'Optimistic?'

'Yes, optimistic. That's about right.'

'So I'd be perfect, I'd be learning as I went along, just like my viewers. That's the best kind of programme.'

She kissed him again. Properly. Pulling him tight, shutting her eyes and feeling all the rush of emotions which this man stirred up in her. He kissed back, interested and very alive.

It felt like a kiss from back in the pre-twin days.

Parenting small children it really was the kiss of death to any s.e.x life. Maybe with good reason, otherwise there would be crazed parents all over the place with whole troupes of pre-schoolers.

'This is very promising,' Ed said, breaking away but running his hands over her silky D&G derriere.

'I know, very ... but we'll get to the tube station, ride the train home, pay the babysitter, go upstairs, light the candles, put the music on, brush our teeth, start kissing, hear crying, put a baby back to bed, then fall asleep.'

'I promise to have s.e.x with you when we get home, no matter what,' Ed said, pulling her in tight, so she could feel the stirring happening there.

'You know,' she whispered against his ear, 'I think I'd rather go for a seriously saucy cuddle on that bench over there than take the risk of staying interested all the way back to the bedroom.'

Ed ran his fingers lightly over the exposed tops of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, causing her skin to tingle with pleasure.

'Just how saucy were you planning to get?' he asked in a whisper.

'Follow me, big boy ...'

Chapter Thirty-Seven.

Connor's gym kit: Black running tights (Adidas)

Green vest top (Nike)

Black and green trainers (Saucony)

White socks (Nike)

Total est. cost: 180

'Move your sad and saggy a.s.s.'

'This is very, very exciting, baby. I am loving it. Ohhhhh, yeees. Yes! Give me more ... Harder. Punish me. Make. Me. CRY!'

'Do you always shout at the cross trainer like this?' Annie asked Connor, who wasn't just shouting, he was panting, sweating, suffering on the machine beside hers.

'Work, Annie, work!' he urged her, 'what would Gawain say? He would tell you to smell victory, baby, to close your eyes and reach for the gold.'

'Gawain, ha, this is all Gawain's fault!' Annie puffed. 'If I'd never met Gawain, I would not be here right now.'

'Gawain is going to be here in London in just four days' time,' Connor reminded her, 'so you better move your sad and saggy a.s.s or you are going to be in supersized trouble.'

Annie nudged her treadmill up from 1 (i.e. barely moving) to 2. 'You're right. I'm going to be a totally, totally different woman when he is here.'

Over the last few days there had been some very interesting developments. Connor had begun his time on Strictly Come Dancing and been all over breakfast TV like a rash, flirting, showing off his buns and abs of steel and boasting about his 'unbelievable' New York personal trainer.

Connor had also happened to mention that said personal trainer was in talks with a well-known British TV producer about a celebrity fitness show.

Well ... then the phones had started to burn red hot.

Connor's agent was talking to Gawain's agent who was talking to Tamsin who was talking to Annie's agent.

Would Connor consider appearing on the celebrity fitness show? Would Annie consider hosting the celebrity fitness show? And how on earth would everyone get the money together to make it worth Gawain's while to appear on British TV?

'Baby, as soon as they said unfit celebrity guinea pig ...' Connor began.

'You thought of me. Sweet,' came Annie's reply.

'And you have other news, don't you?' Connor asked, 'I can tell ... you look smug.'

'Ah well, nothing definite yet ...' Annie began.

No sooner did the four special episodes of the Celeb Fit Show look as if they were really going to happen than Tamsin had been on the phone with more news.

'Please tell me someone's going to buy the How Not To Shop format?' Annie had just about pleaded.

'No. But I'm not giving up on it,' Tamsin had a.s.sured her, 'it's a great show with a very loyal audience. But Annie, for now, I've been talking to a Guy Kettner, I believe you know him?'

'Oh ... the night of the creme brulee.'

'Well, he loves you. He may have mentioned to you that he's got plans for a personal finance programme. Well, he's very keen on you and I think he's getting keen on me too. We're meeting tomorrow.'

'That is interesting, babes, very interesting.'

'But meantime, you're signed up with Connor and his new fitness phenomenon. So that is brilliant. That keeps you on screen and right in our minds and hot, hot, hot. Plus, you'll get into shape too, which never hurt anyone. Not that I'm a body fascist.'

'I thought you liked the "real" me.'

'Real yes. You don't need to go size zero on me ...'

'As if.'

'But supersized, no,' had been the brutal reply.

So that was why, right now, Annie was in the gym with Connor, who kept leaning over and nudging up the speed on her machine.

'Stop it!' she warned, 'or I'll be a dead celebrity guinea pig and no use to you at all.'

When the mobile in her back pocket began to ring, Connor protested, 'A mobile! In the gym? You can't have a mobile in the gym, it's against the rules. How can you feel the pain with Gawain if you stop and chat on the phone?'