Rose didn't respond for a long minute. Finally she said, "I told him I'm sorry, which I am, and I asked for his forgiveness. He seemed all right that day we saw him on the road."

"Well, he's not all right. He cared about you. He loved you-more than he ever did me."

Rose's heart swelled. "I don't think so."

"I know so. He looked at you in a different way than he ever looked at me."

Rose swallowed hard. "I don't even know why I did it. I got so caught up in the way Trevor treated me. I could tell by the way he looked at me that . . ." She stopped, wishing she hadn't started the sentence.

Lila's voice was harsh. "That what?"

When Rose didn't answer, Lila asked, "That he wanted you? Because, jah, that wasn't the way Reuben looked at you. He looked as if he cherished you. Wanted to protect you. Wanted to spend his life with you. Wanted to have a family with you. Trevor just looked like he wanted-some excitement."

"You don't need to be so blunt," Rose said.

"Actually, I wasn't," Lila answered.

Rose bristled and stayed silent-for a couple of minutes. It wasn't like Lila to be so harsh. "What's with you?" she finally asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You're mean. And peckish. Like a cross between a bull and a hen."

Sarcasm filled Lila's voice. "Denki," she said, followed by the sound of her head shifting on her pillow, most likely away from Rose.

"I'll get out of your hair soon," Rose said. "Me being at Eve's will make it easier for everyone."

"Stop it," Lila said. Suddenly the battery-operated lamp flicked on. Trudy stirred and rolled away from it, but she didn't wake.

Rose turned toward her older sister. Tears streamed down Lila's face. "Look," she said. "Trevor took advantage of you. Zane and I both feel horrible we didn't realize what was going on." She swiped at her face. "Reuben is the victim in all of this, but he's not acting like one. You are a child of G.o.d, and G.o.d is the perfect parent-he will never abandon you. And neither will Dat. He will care for you and the Bobbli. But make it easy for him, not harder. Go to Eve's, but don't act like it's our fault you need to. It's your choice."

Your choice. All of this had been Rose's choice. She threw away a good man for a few nights of fun. She had no one to blame but herself.

Lila stared at her for a long moment and then snapped off the light.

Rose didn't say any more, but she stayed awake long into the night. She'd thrown away the future she had absolutely wanted. Lila was right. What kind of woman did she want to be? What kind of mother? It was time for her to grow up, to humble herself.

She pulled the quilt up higher against the icy cold with one hand while her other went to her stomach. It wasn't as flat as it used to be, but it wasn't as if she was showing either. Sooner or later she would be though.

She rolled to her side. She needed to forget Trevor. And Reuben too. She had no idea what her future held, but she was sure it didn't hold either of them. The only thing she was certain of was her Bobbli. And she couldn't help but hope, as Lila said, that G.o.d loved her and would never abandon her. But that was easier to hope for than to actually feel.

Another verse came to mind. "Therefore, brethren, stand fast, and hold the traditions which ye have been taught, whether by word, or our epistle." That's what she would aim to do. She wouldn't call Trevor again-instead, she'd trust the Lord. That was the only thing she could be one hundred percent sure of, that would bring her any peace.

She'd also lean on her family and the community that loved her. And she'd do her best to become a good mother to her Bobbli.

22.

The first Sat.u.r.day of January, in the late afternoon, Lila and Zane sat on the sofa in the living room of the Lehmans' home, watching the snow out the window. Big fluffy, mesmerizing flakes were falling.

He was talking about the lawyer again, saying the man had left a message on his parents' phone yesterday. A second claims adjuster from the insurance company was investigating. "He'll come out and ask you questions on Monday," Zane said.

She leaned back against the sofa. "I told you I'd rather not talk to him."

Zane answered, "You have to."

The sound of tires over gravel caught Lila's attention.

"Are you expecting someone?" Zane asked.

"Jah, Eve and Charlie are coming for Rose."

Zane stood and went to the window. Lila leaned her head back and closed her eyes. A couple of minutes later Zane opened the door for the couple. Eve held Jackson. After they entered, Charlie pointed to the boxes and suitcase by the door. "Are these Rose's?"

"Jah," Lila answered. While Charlie and Zane carried the items out to the sedan, Lila called out Rose's name.

"Where is she?" Eve asked. "I'll go get her."

"Try our bedroom," Lila answered.

Eve returned with Rose, who said, "I'll go tell Dat, Beth, and Trudy good-bye." All three had gone out to check on the twin calves that had been born the night before.

Jackson fussed a little, and Eve lifted him higher and then said to Lila, "I hope having Rose come stay with us won't make things harder for you."

Lila shook her head. "Not at all. Beth has everything under control. I think it will be good for Rose to be with you."

Eve glanced toward the kitchen, as if Rose might reappear. "How's she doing?"

Lila shrugged. "Sometime in the last few months she reverted back to the way she was before Reuben started courting her. I think she's trying to find her way back, but she still seems pretty self-absorbed." Lila sighed. "I keep thinking about our Mamm. She was younger than Rose when she got pregnant with Daniel and me. I can't imagine she ever acted the way Rose does."

Eve smiled, just a little.

"What?" Lila asked.

Eve shook her head. "Don't get me wrong, but your Mamm had her moments. In fact she was a lot like Rose is now."

"You're kidding." Lila pushed herself up a little straighter. "Everyone always says I remind them of Mamm."

"The way you look, yes," Eve said. "And the way you act, in some ways-but I think they're making a comparison to when your Mamm was older. Not when she was Rose's age."

Lila wrinkled her nose.

"Take that as a compliment," Eve said. "You've always been an old soul."

Lila shook her head a little. "I don't know about that."

Eve smiled and then asked, "Speaking of the other old soul I know, have you and Zane chosen a date for the wedding?"

Lila shook her head. "We haven't talked about it."

"Why not?"

Lila glanced at her crutches. "It's not like I can be much of a wife yet."

Eve gave her a sympathetic look and then said, "What does Zane say?"

Lila shrugged. She didn't want to discuss it with Eve. The truth was, Zane hadn't said much lately. "He's mostly obsessed with holding the guy who hit me accountable and getting his insurance to pay for everything."

Considering how long it was taking the men to come back in the house, Lila guessed Charlie was grilling Zane too. She appreciated their concern-she really did. But there weren't any quick and easy answers to her dilemma.

Jackson began to cry, and then a commotion at the back door distracted Eve more. Trudy came running through the kitchen into the living room, with Beth right behind her, walking quickly. After they both hugged Eve, Trudy reached for Jackson. He fell into her arms, laughing as he did. Dat came into the living room next, followed by Rose.

Lila glanced toward the front door, expecting Charlie and Zane to join the rest of them, but the door stayed closed.

"Well now," Dat said to Eve. "So you're really taking Rose away?"

Eve nodded. "She'll be a big help to us."

Dat stared at the baby for a moment. Lila could guess what he was thinking-that Eve shouldn't have taken in a foster child when she was working. It was no surprise that Beth had given up her job so soon after she married, probably under Dat's influence, although the school board probably would have required it soon enough. Then Dat turned to Rose. "Learn all you can," he said.

"Jah," Rose said. "I will."

Dat nodded. "There's a lot to learn. And about keeping a house too. Your Aenti is good at that."

Rose answered, "I'll do my best."

Lila was surprised Dat had paid Eve a compliment. It wasn't like him.

The door opened, and Charlie and Zane stepped in. After everyone hugged her, Rose stepped over to Lila and patted her shoulder. "Stop by some time."

"I will," Lila answered.

Rose smirked a little. "Keep me posted on your meeting with Butch Wilson."

Eve gave Lila a questioning look but didn't say anything.

"Jah," Dat said to his sister. "See what you've put in Lila's head? Sometimes the past should stay the past."

"Eve, don't worry. It's not him," Lila said. "Although it might be his son. We're going to try to meet sometime soon."

"Oh," Eve said. Her face reddened as she spoke. "I'm not sure what to say."

Dat harrumphed. Lila guessed Dat's frustration with Eve dated back over a couple of decades. He turned toward Lila. "What does Daniel have to say about this?"

"He doesn't want to have any part of it," Lila answered.

A hint of a smile pa.s.sed over Dat's face, but then he was back to frowning. Beth stepped to his side. Trudy squealed as Jackson grabbed hold of her Kapp and pulled.

Eve came to her rescue and took the baby back.

"We should get going," Rose said. Lila thought her sister looked a little sad as she led the way out the door. This would be her first time living away from home.

After everyone left the living room, Zane said, "Speaking of Butch Wilson, I have a message for you."

Lila was glad he used enough common sense to not blurt it in front of everyone this time.

"He called earlier today. He said he and his mom want to meet you in two weeks."

"Oh," Lila said, her face growing warm.

"They suggested a place. Do you want me to call them back and tell them it will work?"

"Will you come with me?"

"Of course," he said. "And Mom already said she'd drive us."

"Denki," Lila said, her heart racing. "Jah, call him back and tell him we'll see him then."

After Zane left, Lila thought more about Rose and how self-absorbed she'd seemed. But the truth was, Lila was still acting pretty self-centered too. She wanted to put others first, including Zane, but instead she kept putting all of her thoughts and energy into finding out about her birth father. She leaned back in Dat's chair. Once she met with Butch Wilson Jr., she'd move on, sort things out with Zane, and figure out what to do next.

Monday afternoon, while Lila was resting, Beth came and told her there was an Englisch man at the door. "An insurance adjuster," Beth added.

Lila groaned.

"Do you want me to ask him to come back later?" Beth asked.

Lila shook her head as she sat up. She might as well get it over with. By the time she reached the kitchen, Beth had served the man coffee and a slice of fresh bread with b.u.t.ter. He seemed quite grateful. He was older, probably over sixty.

As Lila came in, he stood and introduced himself as Mr. Stark. "Owen Stark," he added. Once she sat down and propped her crutches against the table, he shook her hand. She reminded herself to look him in the eyes, which was hard for her to do with a strange man. Zane had told her it was what Englisch men expected. She was able to do it at the restaurant, but it was harder in her home. She wished Zane were with her.

"Is Dat around?" Lila asked Beth.

"He's in the barn." Beth wiped her hands on her ap.r.o.n. "Would you like me to go get him?"

Lila nodded her head. She didn't want the man to think that he could bully her, not the way the other insurance man had.

Mr. Stark asked her to tell him what she remembered from the day of the accident. She told him she was as far over on the shoulder of the road as she could be when she sensed a vehicle behind her, although she didn't actually see it. She described everything she could remember up until she lost consciousness.

Dat came in and introduced himself to Mr. Stark, while Beth poured a cup of coffee for him.

Mr. Stark asked Lila what she remembered when she came to. "Zane," she answered.