'Well, I think I'll fold on this hand, if nobody minds. I'll just sit this one out and eat crisps.'

She smiles.

'But you're definitely having it, right? For better or worse?'

'Yes. And definitely bloody poorer.'

'Well then, so am I, I'm going to go for it.'

'Go for what?'

'A baby. There, I've said it. I really want one. And if I may just say, I think it's absolutely typical of you to get pregnant at the exact moment I realise it's what I really want. I'm going to be so jealous, all over again.'

'Oh sweetheart, I thought you'd already decided.'

'Can't a girl change her mind?'

'Have you talked to Harry?'

'He's up for it, if I am. But he's not desperate. So it's fine either way. Just think, if I get a move on we could be pregnant together. Wouldn't that be fabulous? I can be a bigger bride than I was planning on, and we can sit knitting and looking at our big fat stomachs.'

'I can already do that, thank you very much.'

'Yes, but at least you've got a good excuse now.'

'It's very early days, you know, Ellen. Anything might happen. Things go wrong, you know, all the time.'

'I know, but I can see you with another baby.'

'Can you?'

'Yes.'

'How am I doing?'

'Great. And the boys are too.'

'Thank God for that. If I survived last year I can survive this one, right?'

'Exactly. And if you have a girl and I have a boy we can always do a swap, can't we? Boys aren't really into shopping, are they?'

'Not so you'd notice; not unless it involves buying plastic swords.'

She laughs.

'I'm starving. What have you got in the fridge?'

'God knows. What do you fancy?'

'Lamb chops with celeriac mash, and a passion-fruit pavlova.'

'Spaghetti carbonara? I meant to buy a chicken, but I forgot. But I've got two packs of KitKats, and a jumbo assortment of chocolate mini rolls.'

'Sounds good to me.'

'Go and sell it to the boys, would you?'

'Sorry?'

'Sign them up for carbonara, and don't mention the KitKats, or they'll want them now. And don't let Jack start obsessing about the bacon. He thinks he doesn't like it, but he does. And Archie's not keen on Parmesan he'll ask you if there's cheese. Just say no. He likes it when it's melted, so I don't tell him.'

'So no bacon, invisible cheese, and no mention of KitKats to soften the blow. And if I fail?'

'They'll both whine and refuse to eat anything, and Archie will get very stroppy he always does when he's hungry and throw a fit.'

'Bloody hell.'

'So no pressure at all then?'

'Welcome to my world.'

Chapter Three.

April

Now We Are Six

'What time's your hospital appointment?'

'Ten, but that could mean lunchtime if they're anything like they were in London.'

'And you're sure you don't want me to come, darling?'

'I'll be fine, Ellen. Jack, go up and find your socks and tell Archie to do his teeth, love. We need to leave for school soon.'

'Are you still feeling sick?'

'A bit.'

'Isn't that supposed to wear off after the first twelve weeks, or something?'

Ellen's been doing her research; she's still talking about having a baby, and she always likes to be thoroughly prepared when she's about to embark on a big story.

'I polished off two Easter eggs last night so I think that might have something to do with it. I was trying to finish them up so the boys would stop bickering.'

'Isn't that cheating?'

'I do it every year, otherwise I've got bowls of half-eaten chocolate in the fridge for weeks. Jack can make a small piece of chocolate last longer than anyone I know.'

'But that's only to upset Archie, right?'

'Mainly, but he's always been the same he loves saving things.'

'He'll probably grow up to be a bank manager.'

'Well, that'll come in handy. Oh, hang on a minute.'

There's thudding and shouting coming from upstairs, and with the help of my maternal X-ray vision I know that Jack isn't letting Archie get any toothpaste.

'Stop it, Jack, and come down and get your shoes on.'

There's a silence, which means there'll be Quiet Seething going on, but at least we won't end up with toothpaste all over the bathroom floor again.

'All quiet on the Western Front?'

'Temporarily.'

'How's the shop going?'

'Fine, I'm sure I can build it up more, and Martin's starting on the shelves at the weekend so I can have more stock out.'

'So he's got over you being up the duff then?'

'Sort of. We didn't really mention it last time I saw him. He seemed a bit distracted; I think he's concentrating on his offer for the barn. But he was talking about the website again, and that's bound to help sales. What's that thing they say, work smarter, not harder?'

'Now you're talking. Sell up and come back to town and I'll get you back into news. You'll be earning a fortune in no time, and we can have lunch, like we used to. It'll be great.'

'And do I tell them I'm pregnant at the interview, or what? Actually, I probably won't need to tell them you can already tell.'

'Well, after the baby then. It's a brilliant plan, and we could do a nanny share.'

'Maybe we should wait until you're actually pregnant before we start talking about nannies.'

'It's on my list.'

'I know, sweetheart, but sometimes it takes a while.'

'It didn't for you.'

'Yes, it did, with Jack.'

'Oh yes, I'd forgotten about that.'

'I'm sure it'll be fine.'

'A nanny share would save us a fortune, right?'

'Yes, but I like it here, Ellen, you know that, and so do the boys, and I need Gran as my back-up. I don't think I can do this without her, I really don't. She makes me feel safe, and I can use as much of that as I can get at the moment.'

'I suppose so.'

'And anyway, I can't afford to live in London. Whatever I was earning would just go on the mortgage and childcare and I'd be no further forward and a lot more stressed out. And so would the boys.'

Archie comes downstairs, looking furious.

'He spitted on my arm, on purpose.'

'Look, I'd better go there's spitting going on down here. But I'll call you later.'

'The minute you've finished at the hospital.'

'Promise.'

'Good luck, darling.'

'He did it on purpose. He did, Mum. Tell him.'

'I'm sure it wasn't on purpose, was it, Jack?'

Jack's standing in the kitchen looking sheepish while I de-toothpaste his brother.

'Sorry, Arch.'

'No, you're not. I don't accept. You can say that, when somebody says sorry and you don't believe them. Mrs Berry said you can.'

'Right.'

'Yes, because Harry pushed me, when I was doing painting, and he said sorry, but he didn't mean it because he was smiling, and he did it on purpose because I was doing such good painting. So I pushed him right back, and he made such a fuss. Like this.' He starts yelling and clutching his arm. 'Stupid baby, like I'd really hurt him. But I will do, if he does it again.'

'Hurting people never works, Archie, you know that. It only makes things worse. What did Mrs Berry say?'

'She said we were both wrong because pushing is never the answer. But it is, with Harry it is.'