Silver

hairs were scattered on the white sheets. Like they were dyeing it. Certainly,

while they didn’t bear the slightest resemblance with that child’s hairs, it

still cannot be helped that they were somewhat similar. For me who lived in a world

far away from reality, certainly, it looked like the color I was always yearning

for. The eyes that looked up toward me were purple. While this color was rare in

this country, in hers it’s said to be common. It made me remember of the

skin I could never touch, it reminded me of that child’s… of Silvia’s

appearance.

            The

fact that Silvia who was rumored to be a fairy or an angel died became

well-know in the high society the following week. Moreover, she didn’t die of

her illness but was murdered by robbers. The person who plotted it was her

blood related older sister, the next marquis’s wife. A tremendous commotion

shook the n.o.ble society. Because I was often away from home due to my work as a

knight, I left the social interactions to Iria, so they were many n.o.bles

acquainted with her. Therefore, they needed to prove their innocence.

In the case it was judged they had lend a hand to Iria, there was the possibility

they would be imprisoned. Even if it wasn’t the truth, it was easy to fabricate

a crime. The high society was always maintaining a perfect balance of the power

relations.h.i.+ps. On this occasion, some moved to try to crush the power of their

opponents. Hence, in this situation the point of focus became our high ranked

n.o.ble house. Originally, I just didn’t want to forgive Iria. I requested my

parents’ a.s.sistance, in order to condemn Iria I laid all the groundwork possible and made every effort so that she couldn’t run away from her crime.

However, whether if it was because she came from a third-ranked earl family, or

because she had the status of being a marquis’s bride despite our divorce, cornering

her required quite a considerable effort. Thanks to the cooperation of several

people who used their influence to back me up, somehow, I was able to throw

Iria in the jails meant for the commoners.  

            When

I finished doing everything, the season has gone around. Since I didn’t hear

that the sentence had been p.r.o.nounced, she was probably still imprisoned. But,

I was no longer interested in the future. She won’t be able to avoid capital

punishment due to the nature of her crime, but the execution of the sentence

won’t be carried out in public. The central figures of the country won’t allow

the incident to be brought up again while it has already quieted down. I

understood this already, and anyway, these days, I couldn’t gather the energy

to do anything and felt very tired. Due to this tiresome feeling of loss that I

couldn’t even put into words, I couldn’t get myself to go to work, and lingered

in my failure. For a superior officer, an extended leave was only a term hiding

the fact he was in reality sentenced to house arrest. 

            In

such a situation, there was a certain gossip that reached my ears. A silver

hairs, purple eyes girl was working as a prost.i.tute.

            She

had a small stature and slender limbs; her upturned gaze was pure and innocent,

it was said her ephemeral figure was almost like a fairy.

            The

more I listened to the rumors, the more it sounded like Silvia. When I actually

went to visit her, their features were as different as heaven and earth but

still, it was enough to make me dream of that child. Above all, that innocent

gaze that looked up toward me, reminded me of that child. Just seeing that

figure was enough for me. 

“Soleil-sama, I, I cannot live

without you…”

"... could you become it? A reason to live."

            Now, I felt that even

if I heard it in a dream, I already couldn’t remember the tone of her voice. The

palm of my hand lightly sank in the thin and hard mattress of the cheap bed.

When I absentmindedly stared at the girl's appearance in a dreamy state of mind, a

black shadow fell onto us. When she turned away her eyes from me, those

big eyes opened wider and she raised a little scream. I followed her line of

sight to turn around and saw the tip of a sword above my shoulder. The owner of that sword lurched foward. When I rolled on the bed while protecting the

girl and fell down, an impact shot through my shoulder. My back banged on the

floor before being a.s.sailed by pain. Then I noticed that leather shoes were

stepping on my shoulder.

“… Nice situation there, Soleil-dono. Going to the brothel during

daytime?”

            Behind the man who was

looking down on me, a faint light glowed. Because of it, I couldn’t see his

expression clearly, but I remembered that flickering blond hairs. Why? My muttering voice echoed in the

room that had fallen silent.  

“Did you think I died? Unfortunately, fellow knights have a strong sense

of camaraderie. My friends saved me”

            I felt a sense of

discomfort in front of that figure who was laughing fearlessly. Was he a man

who would laugh like this? Was he a man who would talk with that kind of tone?

Was he a man who would glare at someone like this? His eyes which were of a

much deeper color than mine, should have been warm and gentle like the clear

surface of a lake. I have always felt they were completely different from my

eyes which were said to be cold and indifferent even when I was happy. Those eyes of mine always kept at the edge of their vision his figure which was lurking around her, ready to protect her at anytime.

“Say, do you know how many efforts that person made for your sake? Ah,

that’s right. Of course, you know. Because your entourage must have told you. That

to become your spouse, she persevered with all her might. … But, it’s not like

you saw to what extend she exerted herself.”

            In his sharp glare, the

warmth that existed formerly was nowhere to be seen. The pupils that used to be

filled with a deep affection were tinged with a murky shadow and at any time

now it seemed they would be swallowed by darkness. The man to whom those eyes

belong to, continued to narrate in an indifferent voice devoid of any

intonation.

“In order to study foreign languages, or to learn territory management, or

to acquire the etiquette expected from a lady, she didn’t spare any time to

sleep. Any number of times I’ve seen her figure as she threw up in the middle

of the night. That figure that was even afraid to call out to people, was much

ghastlier than her said sickly little sister. Her throat was burnt due to vomiting

over and over again, and before she became aware of it, she had lost her clear

voice.” 

            Have you seen the dictionary she had? The s.p.a.ce between the lines was

blacken by her writing. After having read it over and over again, the edge of

the pages of that book on management were worn-out. Did you know about the

pen-mark on her fingers? About the shadow under her eyes that wouldn’t quite

vanish? About her reserve of stomach medicine?

            Have you ever seen even one of those things? He asked and his foot on my shoulder increased its weight. When my upper

body was bent diagonally because I couldn't support my body, the girl hidden behind me screamed. Then while shouting something, she run out of the room. She

must have gone call for help. The man who glanced at her figure, even if his

expression was hidden by the shadow, I could clearly understand he had a deep

smile.

“That person was… in the morning, when she woke up, the first thing she

would do was to inquire about her fiancé. When she went to sleep at night, even

if her fiancé wasn’t beside her she would tell him good night. She never said once that she was lonely. She didn’t

want to be a bother. Even so, her fiancé who would only come visit her on the

planned day, she loved him.”

            From the beginning, even while she knew it was a political marriage.

She believed in a love that would never be returned.    

“She was supposed to become the lady of the marquis house. She was

supposed to become an existence held in esteem and cherished by everyone. For

this, that person had, done everything she could and yet…”

            My body which was being

pinned down became suddenly free, when I managed to half-rise, drops of water

gently fell down as if they were dancing.

“… in that place, in that incredibly brutal way of dying, she

wasn’t a person who deserve to leave like that…!”

            Hearing those words

that he squeezed out in a hoa.r.s.e voice, for some reason, a smile floated to my

face. I see, did she die?  I’m sure I heard a voice muttered in a

satisfied tone. That was a voice that came from nowhere else but my own body.

“Only you, could have saved that person and yet.”

            … Why, why, why? Why,

was I, were you, laughing?

            With trembling lips,

the man overlooking me who was laughing said, “That it was false charges, in truth,

you should have known it.” I stared as countless drops of water slid down the

corner of his lips. I merely stared as he raised his sword over my head.

            Someone shouted “Stop

it!” Appearing suddenly, I saw the shadows of several persons behind the man. “Alfred…!

Do you intend to defile the pride of a knight with blood for someone like this…!”

“The pride of a knight you said, that thing, I threw it away long ago…!!

When I lost that person…!!”

            It sounded like a

scream. Even though he spoke each word clearly, I understood he was screaming to

the point of tearing his throat.  

“Do you know what kind of death you gave to that person, do you know how

she died…!!”

            I could only watch without

being able to move at all. A sensation of heat filled my shoulder. It was pierced

by the blade. It didn’t feel painful, but my respiration stopped. I couldn’t breathe.

When something was thrown toward me I reflexively stretched out my hand but it

felt down. In my wavering field of vision that had turned upside down because

of my slanted body, I watched it felt down without a sound on that dirty floor which

hadn’t been washed for who knows how long

            That thing that didn’t

have any weight, was of a gray color that had been tainted by a dark red. It

was long hairs that had been cut off.  

"It looks like an old woman's hairs, right?"

            That whispering voice

resounded in my ears. … … I couldn’t say it even once. That it was beautiful, I

couldn’t say it not even once.  

            It was of a darker

color than Silvia’s. A color that couldn’t be described as silver. But, I liked

the mysterious color of her eyes that s.h.i.+ned much more thanks to that. Those strong

eyes that persisted with their will, with their conviction that was enough to

overwhelm others, they have always supported me. As long as those eyes were watching

me, I believed I would never loose my way.

            … killed. I, killed. I

killed Iria.

            Please stop it. It’s enough.

Please stop.

            Someone.

            Please tell me it’s a

lie.

            Someone, please.

*

“ … … hnn !!!”

            I

swallow a breath and jumped to my feet, surprised by my own ragged breathing. My

breaths were cut short, as if I had been running with all my might. I listened

to them with muddled thoughts.

“…Soleil-sama?”

            In

the room I thought I was alone, a bewildered voice resounded. As it was at a distance

close enough to feel a long breath, it made my shoulders greatly jump in shock.

When I felt nauseous as my breath refused to regulated itself as usual and covered

my lips, the voice called out,  

“… Soleil-sama!”

            Someone

presented me a wash basin which seemed to have been prepared to wash the face.

Inhaling small breaths, I managed to endure the throwing feeling and forced

down the burning lump back to my stomach. I felt a stinging pain at the back of

my throat. When I coughed a little while listening to the pounding sound of my

heart, the chamberlain peeped at me with a worried expression.  

“The h.e.l.l hap…, no, I mean, I, what

happened to me… ”

            Since

long ago I’ve been taught how to be careful with my phrasing. It was natural

for the heir of the marquis to be polite and thoughtful, and since my entourage

urged me to do so, I abided. Normally I would never be so upset, I was

perplexed at my own discomposure.

“I was having an awful nightmare…”

            The

servant gave a curt and humble sound of acknowledgment. He gave me a wet towel

and urged me to calm down my mind. Extending my hand to receive it, I noticed

my fingers were trembling.    

“Did you see a bad dream master?”

“… a bad dream…”  

            I

smiled bitterly and raised a strained laugh, reproaching myself for losing my composure

over a nightmare like a little child. Then, at the moment I stop smiling, my

whole body lost its warmth.

“Soleil-sama?”

            A

nightmare? Did I see a nightmare? … What did I, see? What?

“… I don’t remember…”

            Even

though what I saw was bad enough to wake me up in a panicked state, I couldn’t

remember a single thing. It wasn’t that I forgot, but it rather felt that I

hadn’t saw a nightmare to begin with. Not even a fragment of remembrance was remaining.

“If you do not remember, then it

must not have been important. It was probably a trivial thing.”

            Watching

the chamberlain smile again, rather than relief I felt anxiety gradually rising

from my chest. It felt like I lost something, something very precious and

important. And as I don’t even remember what is it that I lost, irrepressible uneasiness

and irritation a.s.sailed me.  

            When

I opened my hands, I just saw my usual palms. However, the feeling I failed to

grab on something, that huge feeling of loss, blocked my breathing.

“… Iria is…”

“Yes?”

“I wonder what Iria is doing now?”

            …

… For some reason, I started to feel the irresistible urge to see her.

Nocta’s thoughts:

Now that you’ve read Soleil’s POV, do

you still hate him? Seems like he is also trapped in a loop, it’s just that he

can’t remember a single thing unlike Iria. Poor them.

We are going

to attack the next arc! Back to Iria, back to her suffering, but also more

information about the people around her. Expect mysteries, betrayal and death!

Well, I made it sounds all dramatic, but I haven’t read all the raw, just

until the 15th chapter of the next arc or something. But it was

good. Can’t wait to read it all.