Joey: Something to do with Buffy the Vampire Whatsit. I have no idea!

There was a brief silence, then: Joey: Anyway, why'd you wanna know about Willow?

I took a deep breath. My fingers kept heading towards my keyboard, then away again.

Joey: Imms?

Barnaby Rudge: Because I was jealous.

Joey: Jealous of Willow??

Barnaby Rudge: Yuh-huh.

Joey: Oh.

Barnaby Rudge: Because I've been thinking about you, Joe.

Joey: Me?

Barnaby Rudge: Yuh-huh. You.

Joey: But, but...

Barnaby Rudge: And I did kiss a girl last night, and I know you don't wanna hear that, and I'm sorry, but all I've been able to think about lately is you.

Joey: Even when you were kissing this girl? LOL.

Barnaby Rudge: Probably, yeah. And I don't know where it's come from, or how long it's been there, but it's there. Last night just confirmed that to me.

Joey: Maybe it'll pass?

Barnaby Rudge: I don't want it to pass, Joey.

Joey: But...what about all that stuff about me being more like your sister and it'd be too weird, and all that?

Barnaby Rudge: I dunno...I really wish I hadn't said that, 'cos none of this feels weird now. I just realised you were always on my mind, no matter what I was doing, who I was with, or where I was. Every thought I had just came back to you.

Joey: And you're not just saying this because I told you I liked you?

Barnaby Rudge: No, I'm not.

Joey: And you're not just saying this because, I dunno, because of Fickle and you wanna get back at her?

Barnaby Rudge: That doesn't even deserve an answer, Joe! Fickle can't even begin to hold a candle to you-that's bloody clear to me now!

Joey: Wow! That's a really lovely thing to say.

Barnaby Rudge: It's how I feel, Joe. It's kinda crept up me without me even knowing.

Joey: But you do feel something?

Barnaby Rudge: Yeah, I do.

Joey: You'll understand me being a bit cautious here, won't you Imms? I don't really understand how you can think of me as just a friend one minute, then realise you think of me as more.

Barnaby Rudge: I dunno either, but it has.

Joey: OK...

Barnaby Rudge: But, I dunno, the whole night I was there, and with this girl, and all I was just thinking about was you. She said I spent the night talking about you as well.

Joey: LMAO! Bet that was a passion-killer.

Barnaby Rudge: I was talking about you 'cos I couldn't stop thinking about you, and I couldn't stop thinking about you 'cos, well, 'cos I like you. You're really important to me, Joe.

Joey: You're important to me, Imms. You have no idea.

Barnaby Rudge: When I saw your messages to Willow as well, I thought I'd lost you. And that thought scared the hell out of me.

We both paused, evidently taking in everything that had just been written. I suddenly had a thought: Barnaby Rudge: You do still feel the same way about me, don't you?

Joey: You're kidding me? You're the last thing I think about when I go to sleep and the first thing I think about when I wake up, Imms.

Barnaby Rudge: I'm sorry if I hurt you in the past, Joe.

Joey: You didn't hurt me, chickeroo. Well, not really.

I clenched my jaw tight.

Barnaby Rudge: Well, I'm sorry. I mean it.

Joey: Let's talk about something else, hey? You wanna get together? Meet in town?

Barnaby Rudge: Of course! At least if we meet in the flesh, so to speak, we'll know for sure where this is heading. If it's heading anywhere, I mean.

Joey: I hope it is, Imms...

Barnaby Rudge: Me too, Joe.

Joey: And at least we're only a ten-minute train ride away from each other. Better than that hour and a half you had to do with Fickle, hey?

Barnaby Rudge: Everything's better than Fickle, Joey. Everything!

Joey and I chatted on for the next few hours, making arrangements to meet, discussing what we'd do and where we'd go. I felt so happy I thought I might burst. It was how I felt when me and Fickle first hooked up, but it felt, I dunno, different somehow. Better. There were no nerves with Joey, no feelings of insecurity now that everything was out in the open.

We arranged to meet that coming weekend, with Joey coming to meet me down in town, and then we agreed that I'd get the train over to Abingdon and see her the next time. I loved that we were both looking past our first date, both us of in no doubt that we would get on like a house on fire; confident enough to be already talking about future dates. It made it real, somehow.

We rang each other just before bed and said our good nights to each other, doing that cheesy thing that you see in the movies when neither of you wants to put the phone down first, finally saying a final good night and going. I texted her again just before I went to bed, telling her again not to be paranoid, that I meant every word I said to her, and that I couldn't wait to finally meet her on Saturday. It felt like I'd known Joey all my life; meeting her would now be the icing on the cake.

The next morning, I woke up early and, for the briefest moment, forgot everything that had happened the previous day. When it eventually came back to me, dripping bit by bit through my foggy, sleepy head, I couldn't help but lie in bed, just grinning away to myself. It was Monday. Five days until I'd get to meet Joey.

I practically bounced all the way to college, convinced that everyone who saw me would know why I was so happy. It was like, you know how sometimes you think everyone can tell you're in love just by looking at you? Like you have an aura around you or something-a love aura. They can't, of course, but you're so loved up that you're sure everyone can tell? That was how I felt walking to college that morning.

I went into the canteen as soon as I arrived, getting myself a coffee before heading back up the staircase to the library, where I wanted to quickly grab a book for one of my afternoon lessons. To my dismay, as I turned into the library, I spotted Beth sitting with Matt, the pair of them deep in conversation about something, an array of books spread out around them. I hoped they wouldn't spot me and kinda sidled myself along to one of the other tables further over, but it was too late. With a wave and a loudly hissed "Immeeee!" Beth frantically beckoned me over to her.

I stood at their table, coffee in one hand, files in the other and felt, well, pretty uncomfortable. I smiled tightly at Matt.

"All right?" He jerked his chin.

"Not bad, yeah," I said. "You?"

"Yeah, good," he replied.

So, not too awkward, then!

Beth whispered something to him, briefly kissing him on the cheek, and rose from her table, linking her arm with mine and taking me over to another table where she sat down and nodded her head towards the chair opposite me, indicating I was to sit down too.

"I didn't want to talk in front of Matt," she said by way of explanation.

"About?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"You know what about!" Beth grinned. "About Saturday! About you and that girl!"

"Oh, Nic, you mean?" I said, looking at Beth with amusement.

"Well, who else, silly?" Beth pulled a face.

I sipped at my coffee and looked at Beth, who was practically wriggling in her seat with excitement.

"So?" she asked. "Did you call her?"

"Why are you so interested?" I licked my spoon.

"Because you're my friend!" Beth looked hurt. "And I'm excited for you!"

"You were never this excited when I started going out with Matt," I said, raising my eyebrow at her.

"That was different!" Beth hissed.

"How?" I was being obtuse, I knew. I didn't care; it was fun for now.

"Oh, shut up." Beth waved a dismissive hand. "So? Did you call her? You're looking coy, so something must have happened."

"I'm not looking coy!" I laughed. "I'm just drinking my bloody coffee!"

I looked at her mischievously over my cup.

"Come on, spill!" Beth made a show of looking at her watch. "I don't have all day here, you know."

"Well, I didn't call her," I said. "That's the first thing."

Beth sat back in her chair, looking like I'd just slapped her.

"You didn't call her?" she said. "Why not?"

"Because I didn't want to!" I said.

"I thought you were well into her?" Beth asked. "Sure looked like it from where me and Em were sitting."

"She was nice, yeah," I said. "But then I realised I was more into someone else."

"Not this Gemma girl?" Beth grimaced. "I thought you were over her?"

"I am," I said. "No, not Gemma. Someone else."

Beth waved her hand as if to prompt me.

"Joey," I said, simply.

"Joey?" Beth raised an eyebrow. "Joey's a girl, right?"

I rolled my eyes at Beth.

"Yes, Joey's a girl!"

"Consistency. I like it."

"So, anyway, we're gonna meet up this Saturday," I carried on, "And I have a feeling it's gonna go really well."

"Well, I'm really happy for you," Beth said, reaching over and rubbing my hands excitedly.

"Thanks. I'm really happy for me too."

"I'm chuffed that you finally know exactly who you are and what you want," Beth went on. "Not having to live life pretending to be someone you're not, being unhappy and confused."

"It's been tough, I won't lie," I said. "And there have been times when I've thought I was going mad, but I think," I touched the wood of the table, "I think I've come out of it the other end okay, you know?"

I thought for a second and laughed.

"Ha, ha! Come out. No pun intended."

"And Matt seems to have as well," Beth said, turning to look back over towards Matt, his head bowed over a book, furiously scribbling something down.

"He's probably writing a song when he should be doing college work." I followed Beth's gaze.