Lazy Dungeon Master - Chapter 63
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Chapter 63

Opening?

It was decided that Rokuko could use her tip however she wanted It wouldnt be funny if I incurred Haku-sans wrath by using Rokukos tip.

By the way, how much did you get?

Around 100,000 DP.

Wouldnt it have been fine to have just been a little? My heart just skipped a beat there.

The number of gold coins given to the inn is sixty-five. Worth 650,000 DP when bought with DP, it would become 65,000 DP if I converted it into DP. We just got a massive amount, so I should just give up on Rokukos portion.

I wouldnt hesitate if Rokuko used it for the dungeons sake though.

If push comes to shove Ill have her loan me some, lets go with that.

Well, that egg is a phoenix or something, but

Come to think of it, can we try and see if the egg can really revive?

Hopping aboard Rokukos proposal, we decided to break it then heat it up with a torch.

Come to think of it, I wonder if anyone here knows the Vietnamese food called hot vit lon?

The boiled duck egg variety.

However, the contents of the egg contains a baby chick just before it hatches. Its classified as a strange food.

Weeell, its somewhat of a curiosity to me since neither eggs nor chicken meat are considered strange food but a mix of the two is, haha.

Escapism aside, this phoenix egg had that kind of feeling.

Looks like I started thinking about something else for a moment there before this is unpleasant

Well, burning its body needed a bit of a guro warning. After that, particles of light gathered up around it and it revived back as an egg in place.

Furthermore, its carcass remained. It was so small.

According to Haku-san, it revives by forcibly gathering ambient mana.

Lets try a second time to make sure Yep, it takes less than a second to revive after being burned, fast. And gross.

Haku Ane-sama said this guy is delicious to eat right?

Rokuko is considerably mentally strong. My respect.

Eh? Ah, un, thanks?

Any, now to make some hot vit lon not. Since a phoenix egg [Needs to be inside a fire to hatch], we decided to place it on one of the [Mysterious Torches that Somehow Dont Burn Out] that lit the dungeon. This should be an easy way to care for it so its fine. It revived even when we dropped and smashed it.

Though a phoenix egg and even its carcass can be turned into medicine and some raw materials its worth 0 DP if you try to exchange it as a treasure. It wouldve been worth so many points if we just kept breaking it though I think I wouldve made a golem that automatically kept breaking the egg if it was worth anything.

Also, since shed probably get fired up about it, I kept Ichika from seeing (= eating) it.

The egg would properly revive even if we trampled it. It wouldnt get us any DP though.

*

Several days after forgetting about the flag.

Two avera~ge E-Rank adventurers who came to conquer the dungeon stayed at the hotel and managed to hunt goblins on the first floor. Since they were weary of the ton of traps, their progress was slow.

Meanwhile, while I was sleeping and using Meat as a hug pillow as usual, Rokuko jumped in.

Bad news, Kehma! The tunnel made it through!

Fuoh? Finally wait, hold up, it didnt make it to the other side of the mountain.

T-thats why this isnt a time to sleep!

Rokukos never woken me up from my sleep. This is the first time. Honestly, shes been diligent about me telling her to not wake me up unless its a state of emergency.

Looking at the dungeon map, we dug up a cave somewhere.

When I opened the monitor to see directly from the menu, it was a red cave that spread out.

Hey, Rokuko this is

A dungeon thats not ours. What should we do?

Its probably the [Flame Cavern]. A single red lizard is as big as a medium-sized dog, its red tongue is definitely something you dont want to pick a fight with. Mm, dangerous for golems and eyes.

Withdraw! Seal the hole!

Ill spend DP to make a wall!

Ah, sorry for the intrusion~. As though to say that, we pulled the golem back and started making a wall.

Red lizards started rushing towards it instantly the wall made it just in time.

Bang! Bang! The door started being beaten.

Oh crap oh crap, it wouldve been a fight if we were even a little slower.

Kehma. No matter how I look at it, the fight already started.

Thats right, we avoided it but the fight did start. It wont be funny when the wall gets broken.

Well prepare to intercept them while buying time. Deploy traps in the passage.

[Bottomless Swamps] and [Spear Ceilings] then.

The red lizards broke through the wall, diving towards the interception retrofitted golems that were installing the traps. However, the red lizards fell into the [Bottomless Swamp]. But that monitor lizard, while emitting a lot of hissing steam, just forced its way out without paying it any attention.

While the golems held them back, the [Spear Ceiling] dropped from above, skewering the lizards and submerging them in the marsh. Good, they stopped moving this time.

Alright, lets repair the wall now.

Y-yeah.

To remake the wall, we destroyed about five meters of ceiling and released it from our dungeon rule.

It should be fine with this wait, whats that sound?

A loud bang came from the other side of the collapsed passage. Breathing fire, a large mass of red, larger than the red lizards from a moment ago, appeared. It was about half the size of the passage, which itself was around wide enough for two wagons to be able to just pass each other A wagon-sized monitor lizard clad in flames burst through.

While I was thinking, it dried out the [Bottomless Swamp] and blew away the [Spear Ceiling] with fire, running over and crushing the golems.

[Uoooaaah! Where aaaare yooou!?]

A salamander.

Wait, could that be the dungeon core?

He talks with a deep yakuza voice.

For now, lets try making contact.

Since he was inside our dungeons passage, I could forward my voice to him. I called him using that function.

Stop! Dungeon Core No. 112!

[Ooouuu!? What, you know who I am you son of a biiiitch!? Mm? Whats this, now that I take a better look this is a dungeon isnt it! The fuck are you!?

When I called out his name, the salamander slammed on his brakes.

Yep, looks like weve met the dungeon core.

Hiiii!? N-No. 112 w-why d-do! You want to know!?

[This meager voice, No. 695 huh!? Thats my line! The fuck would you tunnel into my dungeon fooor!?] Allow me to explain. It was an unfortunate accident, sorry, I apologize.

[O-ou? Meek arent you!? Bastard, whore you, the dungeon master!? Show yourself!]

Since he knows were the dungeon core and master, even though he probably wouldnt suddenly kill us, lets send a golem just instead just in case.

[Aah!? So youre the dungeon master huh!? Wait, youre a golem!] Yeah, sorry, I didnt intend to invade your dungeon even if thats what it looks like.

[Reveal your real body so I can kill you! No. 695 is a human type, how could a golem be her master hmm? No, maybe its because even the golem is human type? No no, golems are too stupid to be masters!]

I thought I might be able to trick him for a bit, but looks like that didnt work.

It looks like I could lead the conversation on he didnt suddenly destroy the golem either, so he probably wont suddenly kill me without reason.

If it looks dangerous Ill just have Rokuko collect me whenever she thinks she should.

So I resolved myself. On foot. It couldnt be helped, I couldnt teleport there since he was treated as an intruder.

Though it was just a long passage with nothing in it, it took a while to walk down it. I was able to exit one hundred meters from it because thats where the goblin room is, so I was able to get there relatively easily.

So, howre you going to settle this!?

The salamander roared. Well, I really was in the wrong here.

More or less like how monsters can directly leave the dungeon core, a dungeon master can directly set up traps and facilities inside the dungeon. Theyd die if they let down their guard since the range is just around five meters though.

Right, Ill apologize. To be specific Ill patch the hole. Also right, do you know about [Dogeza]?

O-ou? [Dogeza] huh, of course! Its when you bow your head while in [Seiza]! Why did you ask?

Ah, our talk will go faster since you know it. Theres another level that exceeds it, have you heard of the [Dogene] apology? [1]

Hoou, this is my first time hearing that. So what kind of apology is it?

Ah, I might be able to deceive him here.

I dont particularly mind lowering my head, but just doing that might become a problem in the future, so lets try and trick him.

Though its like Im picking a fight here, we got information from Haku-san about the [Flame Cavern] in advance. Its fine if I just stall for now.

Although the [Dogeza] shows apology through bowing ones head, the [Dogene] apologizes by lowering ones whole body.

I layed a futon out on the caves ground while giving a suitable explanation.

Oi, whatre you doing there?

Hmm? The [Dogene] apology. Its a polite apology that takes time to prepare. Its polite to bring lots of food in preparation you know?

Food? I dont get what youre saying!

Prepare lots of traps to bring down your prey, get what Im saying by preparations now?

I see! I get it.

I then got into the futon, then spoke.

This is the [Dogene ]!

O-ooh! Certainly, apart from your head everything is covered

From what it looks like, this salamander seems to believe me.

This guy is simple.

Lets push it one step further.

From here on, I will do the [Dogene] for seven days, five hours a day no, Ill do it for eight!

W-what!? Eight hours!?

Is that not enough!? Twelve hours then! Twelve hours, in other words, I will spend half of the day in this posture! With that, I hope that you can forgive me

U-understood! Kuh, it couldnt be helped. Theres no way I couldnt with you doing that, huh heh, I wondered what kind of person No. 695s master was, to think youre so rational! However, Im the one saying it, but seven days, twelve hours every day youll seriously do it!? Great!!

Yeah. I understand.

Then, the salamander returned in satisfaction.

I dont know when hell come back, but until then why dont I just continue this [Dogene]? In my room, that is.

Footnotes:

Play on words. Changed the last syllable of [Dogeza] into [ (ne sleep)].