25. Beck, Rush, Shaw, and Emery (1979), pp. 16365.

26. Rabbi Israel Stein, personal communication.

27. Mauger, Perry, Freedman, Grove, McBride, and McKinney (1992).

28. Lerner (2001), p. 198.

29. Enright (1996) poses and then disputes this a.s.sumption, in Schimmel (2002) , p. 124.

30. Frady (2002), reviewed by Scott Malcomson (2002), p. 10.

31. Ibid.

32. Schimmel (2002), pp. 12425.

33. Enright (1996), p. 116.

34. From the film Gandhi, Gandhi, cited in Karen (2001), p. 223. cited in Karen (2001), p. 223.

35. Ibid.

36. Spring (1997), p. 244.

What You, the Hurt Party, Must Do to Grant Genuine Forgiveness 37. Kohlberg (1976).

38. Enright and the Human Development Study Group (1991), p. 138.

39. Flanigan (1996), p. 76.

40. Smedes (1996), p. 167.

41. Nietzsche (1887).

42. Boszormenyi-Nagy (1987), in Patton (2000), p. 287.

43. Schnur (2001), p. 18.

44. Herman (2000) in American Prospect, American Prospect, cited in Kushner (2001), p. 74. cited in Kushner (2001), p. 74.

45. Kushner (2001), pp. 7980.

46. Johnson (2002), p. 121.

47. Patton (2000), p. 288.

48. Johnson, Makinen, and Millikin (2001), p. 147.

49. Gottman and Silver (1999), p. 161.

50. Malcolm and Greenberg (2000), p. 180.

51. Bachelard, quoted in Metzger (1992).

52. Egbert, Batt.i.t, Welch, and Bartlett (1964), in Benson (1966), p. 36.

53. People are more likely to forgive an offender who offers a sincere apology and tries to make up for the harm he caused (Exline and Baumeis-234

Notes.

ter, 2000, p. 137). They're also more likely to forgive if they feel empathy for him and are in a committed relationship with him (McCullough, Rachal, Sandage, Worthington, Brown, and Hight, 1998).

APPENDIX.

1. Young, Klosko, and Weishaar (2003), p. 9. I am indebted to Dr. Jeffrey Young for allowing me to apply his schema therapy model to the forgiveness process, and for his invaluable a.s.sistance with this ma.n.u.script.

2. Young and Klosko (1993), pp. 16162.

3. Ibid., p. 163.

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