Alice and Joe stood by Rickyas bed staring at the tubes and other gadgets hooked up to her. She had a large goose-eggshaped b.u.mp on the right side of her head, a terrible looking black eye, and several dark bruises on her arms. Alice reached up, her hand shaking badly, and touched Rickyas cheek. Joe put his arm around Aliceas shoulder as she leaned against him gratefully.

aMy G.o.d,a she whispered, the tears stinging her eyes.

aShe looks so small,a Alice heard him say in a tone full of wonder.

Alice touched the huge bruise on Rickyas arm and felt a lurching in her stomach. She wasnat sure if she would be sick or not. She swallowed several times and blinked back more tears.

aYour timeas up,a the nurse said.

Alice didnat even remember being led out of the room.

Alice offered the condo to Henry and Sharon so they could get some sleep and grab a shower, but Alice wouldnat leave the hospital. She stayed and waited for any sign of a change; she didnat want to take the chance of missing anything. Sharon brought her something to eat, but Alice wasnat hungry.

aYou need some sleep, Alice,a she said. aIall call you if thereas anything new.a aIam fine.a The tears flowed so easily that she didnat even know when they started.

Alice didnat really begin to come out of shock until she saw her secretary among the group of people in the waiting room the next morning. That stern, serious face and her red flyaway hair was a welcomed sight. Gloria made her way through the crowd and gave Alice a hug for moral support.

aHow is she?a aThe same,a Alice whispered. She had no strength to speak any louder.

aYou look terrible.a aI donat doubt that for a moment.a aI know this is a bad time,a Gloria said awkwardly, abut Mr. Briscoe needs for you to call him at once.a Alice looked at her quickly. aThe merger,a she said. aIad forgotten all about it! Christ!a Scott was furious when Alice finally got him on the telephone. He ranted, raved, and attacked her competency to handle such a large responsibility, but Alice was in no mood to be preached at by anyone.

aMerge without me,a she said. aYou need me there only to sign the final papers. Are they any closer to doing that?a aYes,a he barked. aTomorrow.a aCall my secretary when theyare ready. Iall fly down and sign them. I expect you to earn your money, Scott. And Iad appreciate it if my absence didnat get back to my father. Do you understand what Iam saying?a Her tone of voice must have registered quickly with him because he didnat say anything else. aI wouldnat be here if this werenat an emergency.a aIam sorry about all of that, Alice, but let me stress once again how important it is that you be here. Youare representing Collins Enterprises. Youare representing your father.a aI know exactly who Iam representing, Scott. Iall be there when youave done all you can do, and not a minute before.a She hung up and rested her head against the pay phone. She needed to make a quick appearance in New Orleans for a few days during the week to sign the papers and get a feel for how things were going, but there was no way she could go back yet. At least not until Rickyas condition improved. Once Alice stopped to think about it, she realized that she should tell her father what was going on, but she had no desire to talk to him at this point. She didnat want to talk to anyone but the doctor.

Stanas funeral was the next day, and hundreds of people were there to pay their respects. Joe held Aliceas hand through the eulogy, squeezing it tightly ever so often. His left arm was still heavily bandaged and tucked close to his body.

Everyone who stopped to express their condolences asked about Ricky. Alice knew very few of these people, but everyone seemed to know her. She found it strange that Ricky should have so many friends that she knew nothing about. At times their life together had excluded almost everyone else. That will have to change, Alice decided. I should know these people.

Kyle drove to the cemetery with Joe and Alice in the front seat. No one spoke. After the funeral the three of them went back to the hospital to wait on word from the doctor.

Henry and Sharon went in to see Ricky that evening and came out with good news. She had come to briefly, but then was back out again. They had run more tests on her earlier and the results looked better. There were smiles and hugs everywhere.

Dora came by with a McDonaldas bag full of treats and did her best to try and pump some life back into Alice.

aYouave gotta eat,a Dora argued. aYou look terrible. What good will you be to her if you donat take care of yourself?a Later that evening Henry and Alice went in to see her. The nurse on duty informed them that Ricky was awake. Alice felt her heart flutter and fresh tears flood her eyes at the news, but again, neither of them were ready for what they saw.

Rickyas eyes were open, but she acted as though she couldnat see anythinga"as if neither of her visitors were there. The bruises on her arms were darker, and she looked awful.

aGo ahead and talk to her,a the nurse said. aShe can hear you.a aWhy is she so s.p.a.cey?a Henry asked. aCanat she see us?a aSheall be slow for days. Sleep is the best thing for her now.a aRicky,a Alice whispered. Ricky gave her a blank stare and then pulled at the sheet before going back to sleep.

Renewed shock began to take hold of her as they stood there watching and waiting. Sheas getting better, Alice thought. They say sheas getting better.

The next day they moved Ricky to a private room where all she did was sleep. Alice, Henry, and Sharon stayed with her during the day, but Alice was with her alone in the evening. Visitors were always in and out of the room, and the telephone rang constantly.

Joe came by early one evening after a swarm of visitors had just left.

aKyleas gone,a he said. There was a resignation in his voice that worried Alice for a moment. aNo one knows where he went. Packed his stuff up last night.a Alice felt queasy. Stanas dead, Rickyas in the hospital, and Kyleas gone. She studied Joeas thin, somber face. He seemed smaller now and somewhat wilted around the edges.

aHowas your arm?a she asked him. The bandage was white and fresh, extending from fingertips to just past the elbow.

aA guitar player with severed tendons,a he said. aIave got nothing but unemployment in my future.a Alice took a slow, deep breath. Her eyes met his in a moment of strained silence. aPlease tell me youare joking.a aNo, Alice,a he said simply, aitas no joke. Iall probably never play another lick as long as I live. Rickyas got some serious s.h.i.t to deal with when she wakes up.a His face paled, and his right hand began to shake. aWe had everything. We were on our way.a He stopped talking and seemed to wilt again, as if someone had let all the air out of him. His eyes darted to the bed where Ricky lay in an unnatural sleep. A calm seemed to come over him as he watched her. aSheas the best friend I ever had, Alice. Iad do anything for her. It seems like weave been together forever.a Alice nodded, knowing the feeling well. aI want you to see another doctor tomorrow,a she said. aGet another opinion. Have them send me the bill.a He shifted in the chair. aThereas no feeling in my fingers. I know itas over for me.a He looked at Ricky again. aSheas very fragile, Alice. This is gonna be hard on her.a aI know,a Alice whispered. aWeall help her.a Is this ever going to end? she wondered. Will things ever be normal again?

Chapter Twelve.

Ironically the accident gave a tremendous boost to the bandas new single, raising it seven notches into the Top Forty. Joe spent as much time on the phone as Alice did, canceling all of their engagements and turning down offers.

Alice pulled herself together long enough to fly back to New Orleans and briefly meet with her new staff. She had scores of employees wondering whether or not they all still had jobs. Even with the responsibility of the South Texas restaurants to deal with in addition to the merger in Louisiana, the old Alice was slowly beginning to resurface.

She called Rickyas room every few hours to talk to either Joe, Henry, or Sharon about any progress Ricky had made, but the report was always the same. Ricky slept constantly, and when she did wake up she seemed too out of it to know anything.

Alice flew back to San Antonio with a briefcase full of personnel files. She was able to stay in Rickyas room with her throughout the night and managed to get most of her work done once all the visitors were gone.

The following morning Aliceas father called the hospital from Dallas and inquired about Rickyas condition. Alice explained that she was doing much better. She didnat ask how he found out about the accident and didnat really want to know even though he seemed annoyed that she hadnat told him sooner. Her life with Ricky was something Alice wanted to keep separate from him. She liked to think of it as one of the few things he had no control over.

Alice was grateful that her father didnat try to pressure her into returning to New Orleans. He never even mentioned it. She sensed that he trusted her to handle things, and left it at that. It had been a social call, and she didnat get many of those.

aWhen they release her Iad like to take her home with me,a Henry said to Alice the next morning. aSharon can be with her all day. Rickyall need that.a aI donat think so,a Alice said. aShe belongs with me. Iall hire a nurse to stay with her.a aIf youare staying here in town,a Henry said, athen thatas okay. But if youare thinking about taking her with you to New Orleans, then no way. The doctor wonat let her travel that far yet.a aYouave asked him about this already?a she snapped.

Alice eventually allowed herself to be persuaded by both Henry and the doctor to wait before making such a long trip, but the thought of Henry and his wife taking care of Ricky made Alice very uneasy. She belongs with me, she kept thinking over and over again. aYouare not taking her to Austin with you.a aWeall wait until sheas a little better first.a Henryas tone was warm. aSharon and I can take care of her here at your place.a Alice wasnat too thrilled about that either, but there wasnat much else she could do. Hopefully Ricky would recover faster in more familiar surroundings.

With all of that to worry about, Alice also received another phone call from her father, who had more plans for her already.

aIave registered you for a fashion merchandising seminar in New York next week,a Mr. Collins said. aIam sure youare fairly rusty in that area being as youave been tucked away in restaurant management for the last few years.a aI canat make it next week,a Alice said. Youave got some lousy timing, Dad. Here I am only inches away from finally getting my lover back, and you want me to go to a d.a.m.n seminar?

aYouall have to make this one, Alice. There isnat another one for six months. I need you up on this.a He was rigid and unyielding. She heard it in his voice. There would be a yes in her answer or else.

aHow long is it?a she asked.

aItas only three days. Afterward Iall get with you on what I have in mind for New Orleans.a aYou said Iad be running things,a she reminded him. How in the h.e.l.l am I going to get out of this?

aIall only be pointing you in the right direction.a aI really donat want to go anywhere with Rickyas condition no better than this.a aWe canat wait six months for another seminar of this caliber, Alice. Youall go to this one. Doesnat she have family? Other friends who can help her?a aThings are complicated,a she said, having no desire to get into this with him now. aYes, of course, she has family. I guess sheall be fine.a She said it as much for herself as for him. Yes, Sharon and Henry would take excellent care of Ricky, but Alice didnat want that. I want to take care of her. aThree days in New York,a she said. aJesus.a Henry helped Alice get Ricky in the car. They drove to the condo and put her to bed where she slept for five hours straight without ever moving. Sharon catered to her constantly, making her eat when she finally woke up, fluffing her pillows, keeping the television on programs she thought Ricky would like. Alice wanted to do those things for her but eventually she felt more in the way than anything else.

aShe never watches TV,a Alice said.

aI know that, but what else does she have to do?a Sharon poured fresh cups of coffee and sat down with Alice at the table. aSheas getting better. They said sleep was good for her.a Alice pushed her coffee away, tired of the caffeine that was keeping her up until all hours of the night. If only she could sleep it all away like Ricky was doing, everything would be so much easier.

aI have to make an appearance in New Orleans tomorrow,a Alice said, aand then it looks like I may have to attend a seminar in New York. After that Iam coming to get her. She should be well enough to travel by then.a aWhatas she gonna do in New Orleans?a Sharon asked. Her green eyes danced with anger. aHow will we know if she needs us?a aTheyave got telephones in Louisiana.a aYouare gonna keep her cooped up in some penthouse all day?a aIall be with her.a aWhat about work?a aIall make arrangements. Look,a Alice said gently, aI have to take care of her now. I want to take care of her now.a Sharon stirred her coffee and pushed her long dark hair away from her face. She looked at Alice thoughtfully for a moment and then shook her head. aShe needs her family now.a aIam her family!a aItas not the same.a Alice sighed and gave in to the coffee, sipping it carefully. She refused to argue about this any more. She didnat have the energy.

Alice slept in a chair in their bedroom in case Ricky needed anything during the night. She was a small lump in the huge bed, and Alice was just so grateful to have her home again. Ricky slept like a rock, but Alice was nervous about being in the same bed with her just yet. Henry and Sharon had the guest room and were pretty much in the way and into everything.

When Ricky was awake, she offered little more than blank expressions, distant stares, and prompted responses to questions. She was able to give brief answers when asked something directly and seemed to almost recognize everyone who came to see her, even though she never said anything.

She treated Alice the same way she treated all of her visitors, with no acknowledgment that she was anything more than just a vaguely familiar face. Joe was there too, feeling as uncertain and out of place as Alice did. Alice found him sitting at the keyboard in Rickyas music room hitting keys with his right hand.

aHow long is her old man staying?a he asked. aDoesnat he have to work or something?a Alice offered a weak smile. Joe didnat care too much for Henry Conrad either these days. aHeas back and forth almost as much as I am.a aI guess sheas getting better,a he said. aItas hard to tell.a aWeall have her back soon.a Alice caught an early flight to New Orleans the next morning and felt a renewed uneasiness come over her. Just how long will it take before the old Ricky is back? she wondered.

Once in her new office, Alice immediately threw herself into her work. New job. New faces. New problems. She held meetings with her department heads and managers and was well aware of the resentment her youth presented to several of the older employees. She poured on the calm, sedate exterior and stuck to the straightforward approach, which effectively forestalled any trouble.

Alice got reports on Ricky over the phone every few hours or so while she was away. The merger was complete, and Alice was totally in charge and running on empty. Henry had mentioned earlier how Rickyas appet.i.te had returned and how she even initiated conversation occasionally. Her marathon naps had become less frequent, and the blank stares were now only sporadic.

aI told her about Stan this morning,a Henry said when Alice called that afternoon. aJoeas with her now.a aHowad she take it?a aItas hard to say. Sheas so quiet.a aDoes she understand whatas going on?a Alice asked.

aShe seems to.a Alice hung up and leaned her head back against her chair. Sheas getting better, d.a.m.n it. Youall have her here in another week.

Whenever Alice called, Sharon claimed that Ricky had just fallen asleep again. Alice continued asking questions until she got the answers she wanted. Ricky was doing better and was even beginning to take short walks now.

Alice glanced at her watch and started packing for New York. She had to catch a plane in a little over an hour. She tried to call when she got to the airport and once again when her plane landed in New York, but Ricky was asleep both times. Alice finally got to talk to her the next morning.

ah.e.l.lo,a came that early-morning croak.

Alice held the phone for a moment while tears formed in the corners of her eyes. The sound of that sleepy, husky voice almost took her breath away. Alice cleared her throat and cursed her father one more time for sending her on this hopeless search for fashion merchandising expertise.

aGood morning,a Alice said finally, so br.i.m.m.i.n.g with emotion that she could barely speak. aHow do you feel?a aIam okay. Jesus, itas good to hear your voice.a There was no way Alice could hold the tears back now. They flowed freely before she could reach for a Kleenex to stop them. aG.o.d, Ricky,a she whispered with a sniff. aI thought Iad lost you.a She eased down on the edge of the hard hotel bed. aYou sound so good. I can hardly believe it.a aEvery bone in my body still hurts, and Sharonas driving me positively crazy. Other than that, Iam fine.a aJust put up with her for a few more days.a Alice dabbed her eyes again in an attempt to save her mascara. Iave got her back, she thought as the familiar fluttering in her stomach returned.

aI...Iave lost my band,a Ricky said after a moment. aStan...a Whatever else she was going to say never materialized.

aIam so sorry, baby.a Alice sniffed again. aI know you miss him. I miss him too.a aItas more than that...itas...a aJust try and get well,a Alice said. aThatas the important thing right now. When youare able to travel Iam coming to get you.a aI canat let you do that,a Ricky whispered. aYouare not ready for me like this. Iam not ready for me like this.a Alice felt her body tense as a tingling sensation raced through her. aWhat does that mean?a aI woke up to nothing, Alice. No band. No future. No Stan. Nothing.a aYou have me.a aAnd what do you have?a aI have you. We have each other.a aYouave got a lover who sleeps all day and can barely tie her shoes at the moment.a aIall tie them for you. Donat do this, Ricky.a aMy bandas gone, Alice. Donat you realize what that means? Thereas this big chunk of me thatas missing now. Iam no good to either of us this way. Not yet. I need to get my s.h.i.t together first.a aYouall get your s.h.i.t together with me,a Alice said. aThatas what lovers do. Thatas what itas all about. Iall help you.a There was a pause, and Alice could hear Ricky breathing on the other end.

aI donat want you to see me this way,a Ricky whispered. aFloundering around. Waking up in the morning with no place to go. No rehearsals or gigs or job. No nothing.a Her voice trailed off into that hoa.r.s.e hollow sound that Alice knew so well. aI was a somebody when we found each other, and I have to get that back.a Alice heard the determination in Rickyas voice, and didnat like it at all. aYouare a somebody now, for crissake!a aYouare not listening to me,a Ricky said with a sigh.

aBecause youare not making any sense.a Alice stuffed the Kleenex in her skirt pocket. aDo you think youare the only one hurting here? Iam hurting too. The accident affected a lot of people, Ricky. We all lost something because of it.a She rubbed the bridge of her nose and could almost feel the tension pressing against her fingertips. aAs soon as youare well enough, youare coming to New Orleans. Thatas settled right now, okay? I want to take care of you. I need to take care of you. For once in your life let someone do something for you.a aThis is different, Al. If I went to New Orleans with you, Iad be everything Christine thinks I already am. Iall never let that happen.a aSo what are you saying? And what the h.e.l.l does Christine have to do with this?a aIam not ready to go to New Orleans yet. I just need some time.a Alice closed her eyes and ma.s.saged her temples. She knew she could talk her into anything once they were together again. A little rest and some creative pampering would do Ricky a world of good. All I want is to be able to hold her, Alice thought. Everything else will take care of itself.

Part Three.

Ricky.

Chapter Thirteen.

During her first week away at the beach, Ricky did nothing but sleep. Her headaches werenat so bad, but she was constantly aware of a worn, abused body that hadnat fully recovered from the accident. Once she finally dragged herself out of bed and began going for walks again, she started feeling better.

She couldnat remember anything about the accident, but the shock of losing her band was with her every waking moment. Even more unsettling than a few bruises and the dull ache in her head were the tears that came without warning. She almost preferred those marathon naps. At least in her sleep she didnat cry.

She had rented a weather-beaten cottage right away and forced herself to get dressed every morning. The accommodations were spa.r.s.e but adequate: bedroom, kitchenette, bathroom, and color TV. Shead emptied one of her savings accounts before leaving San Antonio, so money wouldnat be a problem for a while. Paying for things with cash seemed like a good idea since she knew people would be looking for her once they realized she was gonea"her father, Alice, Joe, and probably even Doraa"but she wasnat ready to see anyone yet, and she wasnat quite sure how long it would take before any of that changed.

Everything was still so confusing. Ricky never knew what day it was any longer, and she missed Alice more than she ever thought possible. So many things had been left unfinished, as if shead started a good book only to lose it after a few chapters. Nothing seemed to make sense, and she was convinced that with the music gone, so was that vital part of her life, that spark that had always made everything good between her and Alice. The band was what had made their connection work. Ricky couldnat imagine life without Alice or life without her band. They were inseparable somehow, each unable to stand alone on their own merits.

Ricky sat down on the warm concrete bench and looked out at the water. The Gulf breeze was strong and whipped the hair out of her eyes. Stan was dead and shead been robbed of the chance to say good-bye to him. The emptiness was overwhelming. Hot Check would never play another song together. Theread been no farewell performance. No last verse. No final chord. Ricky leaned back and rested her head on the top of the bench. She was tired of crying and too numb to think about it any more.

A few days later Ricky came back from another long walk on the beach. It was Sat.u.r.day, the beginning of her second week there, and she was still tired all the time. The soreness was gone and her bruises had faded, but her clothes were loose on her small frame.

The weekends were the hardest. Not a minute went by that she didnat think of Alice or the band. None of that was getting any easier yet.

She took a shower and ran a brush through her hair. She gathered up all the spare change she could find and stuffed it in her pocket.

The hum of a clothes dryer made her feel less lonely as she separated coins into stacks and lined them up along the window near the pay phone. Joe answered on the fifth ring, and Ricky was so nervous that her knuckles were white from gripping the receiver so hard.

aHi,a she said. She leaned against the phone attached to the dirty wall; she hadnat realized until then that she was crying again.

aRicky?a he said. aWhere the h.e.l.l are you?a aItas Sat.u.r.day, Joe.a She couldnat say anything else. She didnat need to say anything else. Joe would know what Sat.u.r.days had meant for them: packed clubs and a natural high from shared energy. Sat.u.r.days had always been special.

aHey, itas okay,a he said gently. aItas okay. Where are you?a She brushed the tears away with the back of her hand. aGetting my s.h.i.t together isnat as easy as I thought it would be.a aWhere are you?a he asked again. aJust tell me. Iall be there in a heartbeat.a aIam real tired, Joe. The days are all running together.a aYou have to call Alice. Sheas frantic, Ricky. Sheas a d.a.m.n basket case.a aI canat,a she said. Just hearing Aliceas name started an aching in her chest. aIave gotta go.a aNo! Donat hang up! Whatas your number? Where are you?a aI canat talk right now. Iall call you later.a She hung up and gathered the rest of her change and stuffed it in her pocket. She dried her eyes on her shirtsleeve and went back to the beach.

Joe tore his house up looking for Aliceas telephone number in New Orleans. He called her as soon as he found it, but there was no answer at her apartment. He didnat think shead be at the office on a Sat.u.r.day morning, but he gave it a try anyway. Her secretary said she was there, but in a meeting.

aTell her itas Joe and itas very important.a Alice was on the line several seconds later. aWhatas wrong? Have you found her?a aShe called me a few minutes ago.a Alice felt certain her heart had stopped beating. She leaned against Gloriaas desk and turned away from her. aWhere is she, Joe?a she asked in a strained, unusually calm voice. aWhere the h.e.l.l is she?a aI donat know. She wouldnat tell me.a aWhat did she say?a aSheas tired and she sounded really down. She fell apart when I mentioned you. s.h.i.t. You know how she gets when she cries.a Alice was so relieved just hearing that Ricky was all right, that it almost didnat matter that shead called someone else instead of her.

aI guess she still needs more time,a he offered lamely.

aMore time for what? Tell me that! More time for what?a aHow the f.u.c.k do I know? She said shead call me again later.a When Alice hung up she turned to Gloria, who was discretely minding her own business at the computer. aPlease get Dora Martinez on the phone for me,a she said. Her father was waiting in her office, but head just have to wait.

Alice moved to the window and opened the blinds so she could see outside. Tourists with bags in hand cluttered the sidewalk and streets. Her thoughts drifted back to the day a few weeks ago when she had returned from the seminar in New York.

Shead flown to Dallas, at her fatheras request, to brief him on everything she had learned in New York. Alice had been ecstatic about seeing Ricky again, and the meeting her father had insisted on only served to make her impatient and angry. Alice had cut him as short as she dared and caught the next flight out.

The moment she arrived home, she knew something was wrong. Sharon was alone at the condo and very upset.

aHowas Ricky?a Alice had asked. aWhatas the matter?a Sharon just stood near the sofa wringing her hands. aSheas not here. We donat know where she is.a aHas she been going for longer walks? Is she doing better?a aI went out grocery shopping yesterday,a Sharon said, aand when I came back she was gone. Henry and Joe have been looking for her. They were out all last night and all day today.a Alice searched the place in a whirlwind of fury. She went to the music room and noticed that the keyboard Ricky usually worked at was missing. She tore open drawers and closets in their bedroom; some of Rickyas clothes were gone as well. Alice s.n.a.t.c.hed up the note that had been left for her on the neatly made bed. It was brief, written in a hurry, and made absolutely no sense to her whatsoever.

I need some time, Al. I love you. Ricky Alice was still clutching the note when Henry arrived a few minutes later. The mere sight of him infuriated her.

aWhereas my lover?a she asked through clenched teeth.

aI donat know,a he said. His graying hair was scrambled, and his tanned, handsome face had a healthy stubble. aI talked to the police, and they wonat do anything for twenty-four hours. No signs of foul play. She left on her own,a he said as he collapsed on the sofa. aJoe and Iave been up all night looking for her.a aSome of her equipmentas gone,a Alice seethed. aHow could she move all of that stuff by herself without anyone seeing her, for crissake! You promised to take care of her, you son of a b.i.t.c.h!a aDonat blame this on me,a he said, his blue eyes narrowing against her anger. aRickyas got a mind of her own and does pretty much what she wants to!a aShe was unconscious for three days, Henry. She has no business being anywhere but here.a aDonat you think I know that?a he said, his voice rising above hers. aShe was depressed. We did the best we could, so donat stand there accusing me of anything! Where were you all this time?a he countered. aGallivanting around New York doing G.o.d knows what to G.o.d knows who. Donat blame me because you werenat here when she needed you!a Alice turned when she heard Gloria calling her. She went over to the desk and picked up the phone.

aDora,a she said more calmly than she felt. aShe called Joe a few minutes ago, but she wouldnat tell him where she was.a aHer father thinks sheas somewhere in the Corpus area,a Dora said. aThatas where Iam focusing right now, but sheas not making this easy.a aI donat know how much longer I can go on,a Alice whispered. aFind her, Dora. You have to find her.a

Chapter Fourteen.