Nothing could have prepared John for what he was about to see.

An hour later, they were both at Alyssa's empty house, showered and clean of Jace's blood. Luckily her mother was working the night shift and not there to question them like his parents would have been had they gone to his house. He wouldn't be able to handle it. Truthfully, John wasn't sure how they got back to her house. It was all a blur after seeing Jace's unresponsive body lying in the hospital bed.

Dried blood matted in Jace's hair, bruises marred his pale skin. He was unrecognizable and fear hit John hard. His breath caught in his throat.

Tubes.

IV's.

White gauze.

The silent heart monitor.

It was all too much to handle and he almost broke down more than once in those fifteen minutes. But he didn't . . . for Maryanne. His heart was heavy and he held it in until now.

Shaking his head, trying to rid the horrific image from his memory, John walked to Alyssa who was lying balled up on her bed. Her tight fists were propped under her chin and her swollen blue eyes were void of any light as she chewed on her bottom lip. Just looking at her, his heart ached for a different reason now. She had been by his side the entire time, holding him up quietly and squeezing his hand from time to time letting him know that she was there.

Seeing her when he walked out of Jace's room . . .

John loved her for it. So. Damn. Much. He didn't know what he would have done if she hadn't been there tonight. He had not realized it before, but he loved her. John loved Alyssa.

He stood before her, only covered in netted basketball shorts as he stared down. The shorts he was wearing were too much and he felt confined. He needed to get them off and feel her skin on his. He needed to feel alive, whole.

"Alyssa." Sad eyes answered him. "I need you," he croaked.

John's voice was a broken whisper in the air. He was so full of agony that her heart ached. Alyssa opened her arms, welcoming him in her embrace. With the accident and unknown condition Jace was currently in, she wasn't expecting anything from John tonight other than sleep, but hearing him say he needed her made her heart blossom even during a time like this. It was a feeling she longed for. There was no erasing his pain completely, but if she could mend it for a few hours, she would.

Truthfully, she needed John. Jace was her friend, too.

Tonight was a wakeup call. Life was precious. Each moment mattered. No way was she holding back on the things she wanted to do.

John pressed his knee down onto Alyssa's bed. He crawled over to her, his sad eyes never leaving hers, then dropped his weight on her as if he couldn't take another step. John let out a long sigh. He was completely depleted of energy. Alyssa immediately wrapped her arms around John's tense shoulders and pulled him to her. He nestled his head into the curve of her shoulder as his nose grazed her neck. Before she could close her eyes and savor the moment to comfort him, John pulled back and rolled over so that she was on top of him now.

"Sorry if I was crushing you," he mumbled. The hushed silence in the early dawn of the morning reflected their thoughts and emotions perfectly. Nothing needed to be said because it was felt deep inside between them. Their emotions were intertwined together, wrapping around one another and holding on for dear life. They needed each other desperately. Alyssa could feel everything John felt. He was pouring himself out through his eyes and she knew exactly what he was saying. It moved something inside of her knowing that he was confiding in her in such a way.

Alyssa's fingers drifted back and forth over John's chest hoping that her touch eased him as his presence did her. "You weren't," she said softly.

Alyssa looked into his helpless eyes. "Have faith, John. Try. I know it's hard, but have faith in Jace."

"I'm trying, Alyssa, trust me, I'm trying," his voice broke. "It's just so hard. He's my boy, my best friend, my brother. I can't lose him," he cried, gripping the sides of his head trying to hold back the tears.

Rolling her back over, he leaned close to her face and asked quietly, "Can I make love to you? I know my timing is shitty, but I need to feel you. I need to feel all of you, Alyssa. Make me feel alive because right now I feel like I'm dying inside. It hurts . . . make me forget." He shook his head as he laid his forehead to hers closing his eyes. He had never been so candid in his life.

"Shhh . . ." she pressed a finger to his lips, silencing his heartache. "I'm yours, Johnny. You already know this. You don't have to ask. Have me."

The back of his knuckles grazed the side of her temples, pushing her wispy blonde strands away from her beautiful face. He was lucky to have someone like Alyssa. With what he experienced tonight, John wasn't going to take things for granted anymore. In the blink of an eye everything could be gone.

Like her.

No way could he deal with that, too. Jace's life was hanging by a thread. He was going to make every moment matter from this day on.

"Let's make every day count from here on out. Promise me, pretty girl." Pretty girl. That was Jace's endearment for her.

"Promise."

Slowly, John closed the distance grazing her supple lips with his needy ones. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and sighed into his mouth, embracing him. Her lips, so soft and willing, opened and caressed his, bringing him more comfort than she knew.

Breaking the kiss, John sat up. He quietly lifted the hem of her black tank top over her head and dropped it to the floor. He took a moment to appreciate the sight before him.

"Alyssa," he whispered with need. He palmed her breasts, his thumbs circling her nipples as he loomed over her. John slid his hands up her creamy skin, over her collarbone and through her silky hair. He pressed a hard bruising kiss to her lips. Alyssa moaned into his warm mouth and her hips undulated provocatively against his. Just what John was hoping for. Fuck yeah . . .

Threading her fingers through his damp hair, she squeezed her thighs around his hips and felt his erection press into her. She needed him as much as he needed her.

"Take these off," she demanded, pulling at his shorts.

"Only if you remove yours."

The sadness plaguing his mouth tugged at her heart. Alyssa wanted to remove as much of it as she could tonight. Leaning up, she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before she ushered him off so she could remove her panties. His arms hung loosely at his sides while Alyssa slid his basketball shorts down his hips. Now that they were completely naked, John took up residence between her thighs once again.

Leaning down, he almost moaned at the feel of her heated skin against his. It was pure rapture. Alyssa was his comfort . . . His home . . .

His heart.

She was so much more than a place to keep his dick warm. She was his girl. His love. His everything. He realized that tonight. And all it took was a life threatening event for him to see it.

Alyssa widened her legs allowing John to make himself at home as his length rubbed against her center. She couldn't control her body as it unwound, moisture pooled between her legs. His touch was as soothing as it was erotic; their kisses were feverish, quick and wild. Untamed. They were both in a state of desperate need. She threw a leg over his backside, digging her heel into him.

"Johnny," she whispered against his lips.

Johnny. Funny how he hated if anyone else called him that. He was John to everyone, yet somewhere along the way he allowed Alyssa to call him Johnny. It stuck. It stayed.

"Take me," she said, knowing he needed to hear it.

John's length slid against her wetness seeking entrance into her warmth. Her hips rolled up, the crown of his head sliding up and down her lips. Alyssa's sex flooded as she groaned into John's mouth again. She bit down on his lip and he fisted her hair. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as his cock pressed into her wet opening and slid in.

They moaned in unison. Never have they ever been this bare between each other. Flesh to flesh. Heat and sex merged together heating the blood in her veins. The feeling was incredible and unlike anything ever experienced before. It was heaven, pure ecstasy as she floated high. As much as Alyssa wanted to keep going, she had to break the kiss and ask, "Do you have protection?"

Of course he did. John was always prepared when it came to Alyssa, but tonight was different. As crazy as it sounded, he didn't want to use anything between them.

"You know I do, baby . . . but . . ." he chewed his lip.

"But what?"

John pressed his forehead to hers. He prayed to God she understood where he was coming from tonight with his request.

"But . . . I need to feel you," he said, lifting his head and pouring everything of him into her eyes. "I need to feel all of you," he whispered. "Please, please don't make me use a condom, baby. I know I'm asking a lot and that we're taking a chance. So much could change in this moment, but I need you more than ever tonight . . . please . . ." his voice, a husky whisper against her lips.

There was no need for John to beg. Alyssa would always have him however he wanted. All she could do was grip his hard length in her hand, and guide him back into her entrance to show her willingness. The crown of his head nudged her opening once more, and he slid in as her tongue did to his mouth. They were both meeting each other's needs in a time of hurting.

Alyssa groaned from the friction as the tip of John's erection slid into her. Her legs widened and her hips rolled up. A shiver broke out on her skin and she sighed. Sweet Jesus, he felt damn good. His warm, bare cock pushed in more as John said in a guttural voice, "I need to feel all of you slowly, baby. This might be the one and only time this happens, so I want to savor it for as long as possible."

She nodded. It was all she could do. Hell, she agreed with him whole heartedly.

Once John was halfway inside, he paused before locking eyes with her. In a moment they would never forget, he slid in completely, groaning as tight heat bloomed between them. Warmth between her thighs, her wetness coated him, Dear God, it was amazing . . . how could they ever go back to using condoms after this?

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," she reassured. They were bare, stripped, and exposed more than ever.

John began moving in and out, bringing her to a high that only he could give her. They both were in pain, suffering as their friend's life was on the line. Tonight, they needed to feel alive.

John worked his hips in and out at a slow but hard pace. Her nails scored his back. The warmth and security of her sweet heat was heavenly to him. He never wanted to leave it.

"More," he groaned against her lips. She obliged.

Alyssa began thrusting her hips, taking every inch of him as she could. His scruffy mound brushing against her only heightened her arousal. Her fingers dug into his skin, sliding down his rigid back in a gripping tightness.

"Damn, baby. I don't want this to end," he spoke honestly between strokes.

"I feel the same way."

John took her mouth aggressively, seizing her lips in a savage kiss. She allowed it because she did the same to him. He fisted her thick blonde mane in his hand as he continued with deep strokes.

"John," she breathed against his lips, "I'm close."

"Not yet, only when I say. Got it? I need this to last."

Alyssa nodded her head feverishly. If he didn't hurry, she wasn't going to last much longer.

Grabbing both of her wrists, John placed them above Alyssa's head and pressed them into the mattress. She moaned loudly in response and thrust her hips hard against his. Her back bowed from the pure ecstasy as they pounded against one another, their breathing quickening. The walls of Alyssa's sex tightened around him as he continued his long, deep strokes. He knew he should move quicker, but the build up between them was only making it that much better. He didn't want to rush it.

"Johnny . . ."

Shit. That did it.

"Alright baby," he thrust twice more. "Come with me. Come . . ."

John groaned as Alyssa dug her nails in his back. Her moans brought John's release higher and higher. Her hips propelled off the bed, the heels of her feet lifting her up and he pushed in further. John hit deep setting off her orgasm immediately.

"That's it, right there," he whispered, as he released inside of her. John had never gone without a condom before, and now he didn't know if he could ever use one again with Alyssa. The feel of her was better than any top shelf whiskey. Nothing compared.

"Johnny, oh my, Johnny, don't stop . . ."

"I won't baby," he murmured. John continued thrusting inside of her until they both released, their bodies completely spent and used. He rolled over and pulled Alyssa into the crook of his arm while his other hand rested on his chest. They both breathed heavily, their bodies coated in a light sheen of sweat.

"Thank you for that," he said.

Alyssa kissed his chest. "Anything for you, Johnny. You don't have to thank me."

Quietly, he admitted, "I'm hurting bad, baby. My chest is tight. I'm so scared of the unknown."

"I know you are. So am I," she said as she dragged her nails gently over his chest trying to soothe his nerves.

"I love you, you know," John blurted out.

Alyssa stilled her hand. Did she love him?

"You don't have to say it back, but I wanted you to know in case anything ever happens." Leaning over Alyssa, John searched her beautiful blue eyes that captivated him from the moment they met for a sign of love from her. He pushed away her sweat coated hair from her forehead and looked into her eyes. "I love you, okay? You need to know that." She nodded, and then he kissed her in a no holds barred kiss proving that he really did love her. Alyssa may not know it just yet, but tonight sealed his fate.

John was wholly hers in every sense of the way.

What was that stupid saying? It was five o'clock somewhere?

That's exactly what John thought as he cracked open a beer at noon the next day. He flicked the cap onto the grass and took a long hard pull on it. He was down by Whiskey River with Ford, completely drunk and pissed off about life. Truthfully, he wanted to find a punching bag and beat the shit out of it. Life wasn't fair. That shit with Jace last night wasn't fair. They were hanging on by a damn prayer at this point. John was trying to stay positive, but hell, it wasn't easy after seeing him in that bed and hearing what the doctor said. There was only so much hope he could give.

"This feels weird not having Jace here," John said. After he snuck out of Alyssa's house last night, he went home and crashed, then woke up to his parents banging on his bedroom door demanding to know what happened last night. His eyes were bloodshot and dry, swollen from all the crying he did once he got home. His parents tried to talk to him, but he wasn't ready. They pushed and prodded but he ignored them and took off an hour later, slamming the door behind him. He couldn't talk about it yet with them. It hurt too much.

Had he not had Alyssa call Jace, then he wouldn't be in the state he was in. And that's what hurt the most. Knowing it was all his fault.

John was sinking inside, his chest burned with each breath he took. The only way to erase the pain was to drink it away.

Now it was just a dull ache inside.

Alyssa had been blowing up his phone all morning, but he wasn't ready to talk to her either after he opened himself up to her last night. She stayed silent, just nodded her head and it kind of pissed him off thinking about it now. Maybe he should have kept his feelings to himself.

"I can't believe what happened. I mean, last night we were all here fucking around celebrating the end of the semester. It's unreal," Ford stated in disbelief before chugging down another beer.

John replayed the entire night for Ford while he sat there stone faced in shock. John explained in detail how Jace's truck wrapped around the tree. He replayed the moment he saw Jace lying in the hospital bed. How he was there, but he wasn't.

Ford grew somber staring at the ground. John was devastated over the cards they were dealt last night. He stood up and threw his empty beer bottle, watching as it smashed into a million little pieces covering the ground. John grabbed another and went to throw it, but he tripped over a tree stump and fell to the ground. Rage crawled through him. That little slip up only fueled his anger. He got to his feet and grabbed Ford's half empty one and threw that too.

"Hey-what the fuck are you doing?" Ford asked, shoving at him.

John's eyes widened, his nose flaring. "That wasn't a smart move. Don't start with me right now."

"Listen up, you dipshit, I didn't do anything. So don't take this shit out on me. I'm your friend here."

"Just shut up." John retorted. The car accident flashed before he's eyes again. Jace had to pull through. He just had to . . .

Grabbing the sides of his head, he bent down and then whipped his head back. "FUCK!" He yelled, squeezing his eyes shut. He needed to go see Jace. He needed to sit next to his bed side and pray for him and not sulk. John looked around for his keys, but he couldn't remember where he had put them.

"What are you looking for?" Ford asked.

"My keys."

"What for? Where do you think you're going?" Ford stepped up and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't touch me," he growled, shoving Ford away.