He eased out of his shirt and trousers, coming to lie beside her.

He was so warm and so strong and he felt so good against her. She'd always felt safe with him. Now he

aroused her body, as well, but she wanted to feel more. She wanted to feel loved and desired. "You feel so much smaller," he said, wrapping her close and running his hands over her. "I am smaller," she laughed. And then when he cupped her breast, she added, "Except there." "Is this okay?" "They're sensitive, but I like that. Kiss me." He was gentle and she appreciated that. He was focused and his determination drove her senses wild.

She tried to touch him, return the caresses, but he purposefully pressed her hands to her sides and took

his sweet time arousing her, tasting her, and?if she recognized it correctly?enjoying her. He brought her to release twice before easing himself over her and joining their bodies. "Does it hurt?" he asked.

Only to know he didn't feel for her the way she wanted him to. "No."

He threaded the fingers of both hands through hers and leaned on his elbows to lessen the burden of his

weight, though she wouldn't have minded all of it.

"Please," she whispered, and her plea was hoarse. "Let me touch you."

He released her hands and she threaded her fingers into his hair, framed his face, brought him down for a

kiss and held him fast.

Losing his well-guarded composure, he throbbed into her and groaned. He held her fast, lowered his face into her neck and sighed, "Katy..." He'd called her that only a few times.. .only when he'd unconsciously dropped the protective formality he kept wedged between them. "I like it when you call me that."

It took only a few minutes for Noah to react to what had happened. She'd done this out of her sense of obligation. She'd told him a dozen times how grateful she was to be here, how she wanted to earn her way. He could stand anything but her pity. He was ashamed that he was so greedy for her that he let this happen. He loved the way she made him feel and hated himself for feeling it at the same time.

He eased himself away from her.

"Stay," she said sleepily, and rolled to her side.

He sat on the bed's edge. "I can't."

"Or you won't."

"I've told you. I can't be who you want me to be."

She sat. "I don't understand that."

"I'm sorry you don't 'cause this is the way it is." He got up and pulled on his trousers.

"You're sorry we did this, too, aren't you?"

"It just makes things more difficult."

"What things, Noah?"

He didn't answer.

"I'm a simple woman," she said. "I have simple needs."

"No. No, you don't."

"Do I ask so much of you?"

"You hardly ask for anything. But the things you do ask, I can't provide." She wanted a husband like

other women had. A man who'd take her to town and accompany her to social events. It wasn't much to ask. But it was everything. Too much. "I see," she said, her voice sad. "I will try to be less demanding." "You're not demanding. And you can't pretend to want less." "I would be satisfied if I knew you were at peace with us." "I don't know what peace is."

"I'm sorry for that."

He picked up his shirt. "Don't ever be sorry for me. I don't need your pity."

"I don't pity you."

He didn't believe her. Without responding to that, he walked to the door. "Good night, Katherine."

Chapter Thirteen.

Rose woke her early. Kate climbed from the rumpled bed and donned her housecoat to run out to the privy and back. She gathered the baby and nestled back into bed while she nursed. Last night Noah had declared that he would not provide what she wanted. Meaning the family she desired. Meaning the love she craved. Meaning this was all there'd ever be, and he didn't especially want the physical aspect of it, either. It made things more difficult.

How could she live here and accept his generosity without giving anything in return? Without feeling that she contributed, that she belonged, that she was desired and wanted? What had she imagined all those months ago in April when she'd climbed on his horse and ridden off? She'd taken a chance. Hoped for a better life. And she had one here.

She had to accept that things were as good as they would ever be?and they were awfully good?and that a romantic relationship was not in her future here. She would not make things more difficult for Noah by expecting or hoping for more. Seeing him with Rose, knowing Rose was provided for and loved, was all she needed.

Kate vowed to accept things as they were.

Annie asked her a week or so later if anything was troubling her. They were sharing a cup of tea in Annie's store and Rose was sleeping in a tiny crib that usually held a display of stockings. "Nothing. Why do you ask?" "You seem quieter than usual. Not yourself." "No, I'm fine." Marjorie asked her, too, from time to time, and even Noah stopped her on her way up to bed one evening. "Katherine, is there something wrong?" "Nothing?why do you ask?"

"You haven't joined me on the porch in the evening."

"I thought you would like the time alone with Rose."

"I do, but... well, I just wondered. You're awfully quiet."

"Perhaps I'm just a little tired."

"Rest then."

"I will. Good night."

She didn't have much energy for a few days. Taking care of Rose and doing a few simple tasks seemed

to wear her out. She lay on her bed one evening, and there was a tap at the door.

"Yes?"

"May I come in?"

"Yes. What is it?"

"Are you sick, Katherine?" Noah came to the side of her bed and looked down at her. He bent to touch

her face. "You have a fever."

"Do I? I can't tell. It's always warm up here of an afternoon."

"It's cooled off now that it's evening. I'll send for Doc Martin."

"I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow."

"He'll see you anyway. What if it's something Rose could catch?"

"Oh!" Her heart raced at the thought. "Do you think so?"

"I don't know. Rest and I'll send for him."

She slept fitfully and woke when the doctor entered the room. He examined her while Noah waited in

the hallway, then Doc asked him in.

"She doesn't have a rash of any kind. I don't think she's contagious, but we can't be sure. Katherine, it's

probably best if you let someone else care for the baby until the fever is gone."

Kate's chest ached and ready tears sprang to her eyes. "Of course. I don't want her sick."

"I'm leaving medicine for you. Noah will make sure you take it. Just get plenty of rest and drink water."

Once the doctor was gone, Noah sat on the chair nearby and glanced at the baby in her cradle. "What

shall we do? I can help, but I don't know much about babies."

"You have a ranch to run. How about asking Annie?"

"She would care for Rose I'm sure, but she has her own family. She'd have to take her home with her."

The thought was too disturbing. "No, that won't do. Marjorie then?"

"I'll send a hand to their place right now."

Three-fourths of an hour later, Harper Kimble returned from a ride to the Bensons with news that Marjorie was feeling poorly herself. Kate ran a hand over her face when Noah gave her the report. Her head had begun to hurt so badly she could hardly think straight. "I guess we don't have any choice then."

"Estelle?" he asked.

She nodded.

He strode from the room.

During the night, she remembered Noah placing cool cloths on her head. Twice he brought Rose to her to nurse and then took her away.

She woke late the next morning and stared at the place where the cradle should have been.

Estelle entered the room with a bowl of water and toweling.

"Is Rose all right?"

"She's just fine. She's had her bath and is napping. Let's get you washed and change your nightdress and bedding. You've soaked everything clean through."

"Thank you, Estelle."

"I appreciate your wisdom in sending for me. Rose is my granddaughter, after all."

Kate's fever burned for two more days. Time became distorted and she could barely raise her head off the pillows. Disjointed dreams meshed with reality to make her even more confused.

Sometimes she heard Estelle and Noah talking about her, plotting and planning. Once Rose's pitiful cry was so near and so vivid, she fell trying to get to her. Levi was there and he was within reach of the baby, but he wouldn't reach for her. Her mother's voice kept taunting her that she was getting what she deserved, getting what she deserved....

"She's here and we have Levi's child," Estelle said. "The baby is the reason I told you to marry her. We won't lose Rose now."