"No. Do you want to hold her?"

He took the baby and sat in a rocker nearby.

She sat up and watched him rock the baby in the moonlight.

He glanced up. "Is Estelle a help to you?"

Kate said nothing for a moment. Finally she replied, "She loves Rose."

"I'd like to think that she's making things easier for you."

"She does do a lot for Rose." Kate wanted to cry then, for no reason, really, except that she couldn't say

how she truly felt. Estelle made her feel inadequate and jealous. Kate resented her taking over her mothering duties, and it troubled her that she'd seen so little of Noah. Her throat ached with the loss.

"She's Rose's grandmother," he said.

"Yes."

"I'm respectful of that."

"As am I," she agreed.

He exhaled as though he was frustrated. "I'm not accustomed to your silence. You're not saying what you're thinking, and it doesn't feel right. I'm in the dark and I'm not liking it."

His uncustomary speech surprised her. "I'm sure she means well, and as you say she's Rose's grandmother." "She worn out her welcome?" Kate wasn't sure how to reply. "You're tryin' my patience, woman. She's a help or a hindrance?which is it?" "I don't really need any help." "Damn near had to drag you behind my horse to get you to say it." "She's your stepmother, Noah, Levi's mother, and I don't have any right to?"

"She'll be leaving in the morning then."

Her sense of relief was overwhelming. She almost cried from the feeling of a weight being lifted from her chest. With Estelle gone, things could move forward and Kate would have one less tension to deal with.

She enjoyed watching Noah hold Rose, enjoyed his expressions of awe and amusement, and she wished she could see his face now. Tomorrow would be the first day of their life together as a family. Early the following morning, Noah rapped on the door to the room where Estelle was staying. The woman opened the door and immediately turned her gaze aside. "I'll have a buggy ready for you after breakfast. Be ready." "What are you talking about? I'll send for my driver when I'm ready to go."

He turned and strode down the hall. "You're ready to go?"

She leaned out the doorway. "Katherine needs my help. You can't prevent me from seeing Levi's daughter." "You can see her any time you want. You just can't live here." "You're a crude, boorish man, Noah Cutter! Your father would never have allowed you to treat me in this manner!" "No, he only let you treat me badly," he replied as he hit the first step and started down. Behind him, she cast stinging barbs he ignored. Newt was the first hand he ran across after that encounter. "In about twenty minutes go up and fetch Mrs. Cutter's bags. She'll be going home today." Newt looked puzzled for a moment, but then his expression eased. "Oh! The elder Mrs. Cutter is leaving." "Yep. You just happen to be the first hand I saw to ask to take her home." "Sure, boss. I got a thick hide." "I'll see to it Fergie saves you the best slabs of beef and the biggest pieces of pie for a week." Newt grinned and went about his chores. Noah stayed near the house to make sure Estelle left as planned. Sure enough she marched from the house, shrugged away from Newt's assistance and climbed into the buggy. Newt planted his hat on his head and led the team away. Later that morning, Noah spotted Katherine in the side yard, carrying a basket. She wore a sling he assumed held the baby. She was hanging underclothing on the clothesline.

"Should you be doing that?"

Startled, she turned and shaded her eyes with a hand to look up at him. "My laundry?"

"Marjorie could have done it."

"I like to do my own. It's what I know how to do, remember? And you won't let me help with the rest of

the wash." She pointed out back of the house. "I've been wondering why we have such a small garden."

"Enough to feed us over the summer."

"But what about canning for the winter months? Putting up preserves and the like? I've heard other

women talk about it." "We trade beef and pork for goods already canned and preserved. Gives the other town wives something to barter."

"Oh. I see. Well, maybe next year we could have a bigger garden and I could learn how."

"'No need wasting the effort." He glanced at the row of white drawers and petticoats, ribbons fluttering in the breeze, then down at the chemise in her hand. "Estelle's gone."

"Yes. Thank you."

"Thought she was a help, but I reckon not."

"No."

"You need more help with the baby, you come ask."

"I won't."

"Don't be too stubborn to ask."

"Okay."

He turned and headed for the corral.

A baby grew a lot in a month. By September, Rose had filled out and gained weight. She ate more at one feeding and slept for longer periods of time, though she was awake more often, as well.

Kate had visits from Annie and Charmaine. They brought gifts for Rose and exclaimed over her hair and eyes and admired her pretty gowns. Even the hands carved blocks and wooden horses and presented them to her.

Estelle visited twice a week like clockwork. She brought clothing and toys and always asked to hold Rose.

Noah, too, paid a lot of attention to the baby. He took her out on the porch every evening and rocked her. Sometimes Kate joined them, other times she left them alone.

This evening Kate perched on the bunk Noah had left outdoors for her.

"Her head doesn't look so funny anymore," he commented.

She shot him a frown. "Her head never looked funny."

"Her eyes are a might bluer than yours."

"They are now, but Annie said they could change as she gets older."

"I don't think they will."

Kate loved watching him with her daughter. More and more she realized that Levi wouldn't have been the father Rose needed. Coming here, marrying Noah, had been the best thing she'd ever done for her child. And for herself.

She adored Rose and appreciated time to enjoy her and care for her, but she wanted to be more important to Noah, as well. She wanted him to need her and she needed to feel valued.

She wanted a real marriage and a real family in all ways.

She thought about it the rest of the evening, while she made Noah coffee, as she fed Rose and put her to bed, while she changed her clothing and brushed her hair.

She lay awake for an hour or more, listening to the night sounds through her open window, working down the oppressive sense that she wanted more. Sometimes she had an aching need to sob and felt guilty for having no good reason to do so.

In the distance a coyote howled its mournful cry. Kate got up and parted the curtains, looking out on the night. She had married Noah out of desperation. She didn't like admitting it to herself. But it didn't have to stay this way. They didn't have to have a marriage in name only. She had enjoyed their brief physical encounters. There was no reason they couldn't bring companionship and pleasure to each other.

No reason she should settle for less than what she wanted.

Kate checked on Rose, touching her warm cheek in a loving caress. Leaving her bedroom door open, she tiptoed out into the hall. The closer she got to Noah's room, the faster her heart beat, until she

stopped and composed herself. His door was open a few inches, but she tapped lightly on the wood. Then again. No response. Slowly she pushed open the door. "Noah?" Moonlight streamed across his rumpled bed. It was empty. She glanced around the room in confusion.

She'd anticipated finding him asleep. Kate gathered the hem of her nightdress and padded down the stairs. The front door was open, so she pushed open the screen and stepped out. Out here the sound of the crickets was intensified. Noah lay on his back on the bunk, his hands stacked under his head. She tiptoed closer to see if he was sleeping. He wasn't, because he saw her out of the corner of his eye and turned his head. "What are you doing out here?" she asked. "Couldn't sleep. I like to come out here 'cause it's cool." He sat up. "Is Rose all right?" "She's fine. I didn't mean to disturb you." She pushed him back down with her palm flattened against his chest.

He reached for her bare forearm and wrapped his fingers around it. His touched burned her skin. "You should probably go back in." "Why?" "All this.. .isn't easy for me."

"I'm sorry to have made things more difficult for you."

"It's not you."

"I want to improve your life, Noah. I'd like to feel I'm not a burden."

"You're not a burden."

"But your life was easier before I came."

He didn't reply, so she knew she was right. She sat at his hip. He still hadn't released her arm and the

fact was encouraging.

The night air touched her through her thin gown, grazed her arms, making her feel naked. Gooseflesh

rose on her skin and her breasts tingled. A shiver of delicious expectation slivered up her spine.

"You can't be cold," he said.

"No."

She remembered how much she liked kissing him, how good he made her feel. She leaned forward and

pressed her lips to his.

Noah inhaled sharply, as though caught off guard.

She molded her mouth over his and framed his face with her free hand.

Both of his arms wrapped around her then, pulling her down and holding her close. It was natural to fit

herself along his body and lie against him. He groaned and kissed her more deeply, opened his mouth

and sought her tongue. Kate got lost in the pleasure, kissed him until her head grew light and her body heavy. She pressed herself against him and he adjusted their bodies so that she was lying fully atop him, acutely aware of his arousal.

Their kisses grew more insistent and Noah stroked her back and her bottom through the thin cotton, tugging the fabric upward until he touched her bare skin, and then he groaned. Through the haze of passion, Kate dimly became aware of a sound. She lifted her head and listened past Noah's harsh breathing. A thin cry caught her attention. "It's Rose." She raised her body away from him and took his hand. "Come with me."

He got up and followed her into the dark house, locking the door behind them and hurrying up the stairs. In her room, Kate went directly to Rose's cradle, changed her flannel and carried her to the bed. "Lie with us." She settled onto the pillows and opened her gown for Rose to nurse. Noah stretched out beside her and caressed Rose's tiny foot.

Kate couldn't resist touching Noah. She ran a finger over his lower lip, brushed his soft beard and toyed with a lock of hair. He leaned over to kiss her. They parted and turned their attention to Rose until she finished eating. Once she was done, Noah held her for several minutes until she slept, then placed her in her cradle.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked, turning back.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"We haven't... I mean, you just had a baby a few weeks ago."

"Doc Martin said as long as it didn't hurt, it was okay."

"The doctor talked about this?"

"He is a doctor. We are married."

"Real slow then, and you'll tell me if it hurts."

"I will."