I felt for him under the water and smoothed my palm around his cock. He sucked in a breath, closing his eyes slowly.

"Erica, we can't."

"I know," I said, hushing him with a kiss. "The doctor didn't say I couldn't please you, though, did he?"

"You don't have to-"

I silenced him again, deepening our kiss. I tightened my grip around him and quickened my motions up and down his length. His hands moved restlessly over my shoulders, fisting into my hair as we devoured each other's mouths. His muscles flinched under me where our bodies met, and my core clenched in response. Something awakened. That passion that could never be tamed between us lit up inside of me. I wanted release. But right now I wanted his more. I wanted to show him how much I loved him, thank him for walking through hell with me now and having faith in our future. I couldn't imagine my life without this man, and I prayed he wouldn't resent me if I couldn't give him the family he wanted.

He grasped my hips and then released abruptly. "Erica, I want to, badly, but I can't do this. You're driving me nuts. I want to touch you, but I'm scared to death of hurting you right now."

I slowed my upward stroke and drew back from his body slightly. His face was tight, every muscle coiled and ready for release. I wanted to give him that, but I needed to take the fear in his eyes away somehow too.

"Put your hands on the rim of the tub."

He winced slightly, maybe at the tone. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but if I made it sound like an order, maybe he'd feel safer that he wouldn't. He lifted his hands out of the water and rested them on the edge of the tub the way I'd asked him to.

"Now keep them there. Don't move them until I tell you, okay?"

His bottom lip disappeared from view as he sucked it into his mouth, his white teeth biting into the plump flesh.

I cocked an eyebrow. "Okay?"

He nodded, and I circled both hands around his cock. I stacked my hands, sliding up his length, so that I was touching every inch of him. He flinched beneath my touch when I thumbed over the soft sensitive head.

"God, I miss you, Erica." He exhaled, his head rolling back onto the rim of the tub.

I leaned against him, my nipples grazing his chest above the water. "I love you, Blake." I sucked at his skin, licked the salty flavor from it. "And I love watching you come."

With white knuckles, he held tightly to the edge of the tub. He lifted his head and gazed at me with intense eyes. He was close. I kissed him hard, until he gasped for air.

"Come," I said, mimicking the order he'd given me so many times.

Hips thrusting upward into my rapid effort, he climaxed with a violent shudder and a strangled moan.

After numerous attempts, Blake finally lured me out of the apartment to come to work with him. I was trying to grasp onto the positive, but memories of what I'd been through would inevitably drag me back down. I didn't want to leave the house. I didn't want to come face-to-face with the world that had maimed me. Also, I couldn't stomach anything remotely close to an office knowing that a few blocks away, Sophia and Isaac's new business was carrying on without me day after day.

Sometimes I wondered if they knew about the shooting. Of course they would have heard about it. The question was-did they care? Did it matter at all that I'd almost died?

It's just business, I muttered to myself in my best mocking Alex voice. I needed to move on and find hope with new things. Everything had changed, like it or not. I had to accept that.

My thoughts kept returning to Geoff's project. Even as I mourned Clozpin, I found myself thinking through the logistics of his venture. I had too much free time not to. But I'd ignored Geoff's last emails from before the shooting, and he hadn't reached out to me since. I wasn't sure he even wanted my help anymore. If he did, what could I offer? Money, but no guidance. Investment alone would be an empty kind of support. I didn't want to just fund things. I wanted to be a part of them, but I didn't know what I was really capable of after all this.

I could barely manage to get farther than the grocery store these days.

Instead of venturing out and trying to start over, I turned my attentions to the apartment. I cooked every night. I ordered decor online, determined to bring a piece of myself into the space that previously had been dominated by Blake's simple minimalist world. Blake didn't argue. He seemed content that I was getting up and around, even if I refused to leave the house for more than short trips. Even with Clay in toe, I felt uneasy.

I tried to start painting rooms, but Blake wouldn't let me, afraid the physical effort would upset the healing I'd already done. But despite his fussing, I was better. I still felt the pain, but I was better. The garish red wounds had faded slightly. Not enough to blend in, but the doctor promised me in time that they would. My skin tone would be forgiving. I had to take solace in the small things.

I tensed as we walked toward Blake's office. His hand touched the small of my back, a reminder of his constant support. I slowed in front of the door, but Blake stopped short.

"I want to show you something first. Let's go up." He motioned toward the elevator.

"What's up there?"

He grinned. "You'll see."

I followed him in and waited for our ascent to begin. As the elevator doors opened, he covered my eyes with his hands. "What are you doing to me?" I laughed, trying to hide my nervousness.

"It's a surprise. We'll be there in a few seconds. Walk with me."

Carefully I followed his guiding motions until we slowed to a stop. I heard voices, and they seemed familiar. Blake moved his hands, and I winced at the sudden brightness. I faced a door much like the one leading into his office below. On the frosted glass read, E. Landon, Inc.

My heart beat heavily in my chest. "Blake..."

Through the clear glass of the lettering, I saw faces I knew. Opening the door, Alli greeted me from inside. She smiled broadly. "Surprise!"

I laughed, not entirely sure yet what the surprise consisted of. "What is all this?"

Work stations filled the long room. Sid and Cady were standing by one where they'd been talking, their focus on me now. Geoff stood up from one of the desks, his blue eyes bright with the excitement that everyone else seemed to share.

I felt like Dorothy, reunited with all of her best friends after an adventure of the most strange kind. But what the hell? I looked to Blake.

"Do you want to tell me what this is all about?"

Alli beat him to the punch "When you were on the mend, Sid and I got to talking. With the payout from the sale, we didn't have to jump into anything else just yet. Then Blake introduced us to Geoff. He told us how interested you were in the project. And we decided to get together and see if we could help make it happen."

My hands trembled as they reached my lips. The news was overload. "This is too much. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see you all here."

Sid gave me a shy smile. "We feel the same way. We've missed you."

I swallowed over the emotion tight in my throat. "I thought we'd lost everything. Honestly, after everything that's happened lately, I started to realize this is what I missed the most. Working with everyone again. I never thought we'd get another chance."

Alli's lip trembled, threatening to set off tears of my own. She pulled me into a hug, full of meaning and understanding. I couldn't have gotten through this without her. She pulled back and wiped a tear away with her hand. "Well, go look at your office. It's so awesome."

Blake caught my hand, excitement glimmering in his eyes.

I brightened with a smile. "Sure."

He led me to the far end of the room and into an expansive private office. The door clicked behind us.

He'd spared no expense furnishing the space. A large executive desk filled the room, along with a small couch and an enormous whiteboard. Small items that I'd stashed in a box back home decorated my desk the way they had at the old space.

"Thank you for all of this. Thank you for everything. This is truly amazing."

"And private," he murmured, curling an arm around my waist.

I closed my eyes, devastated by the smallest touch. Weeks had gone by, and I was ready to lose it. I turned to wrap my arms around his neck. I crashed into him, kissing him with fervent passion. He returned my eagerness, backing me up gently to the desk.

Grateful as I was for the space, the world had ceased to exist beyond the two of us in that moment. "I want you, Blake. God, I'm dying wanting you."

"I know." He kissed me, softer tender brushes of his lips over mine. "But let's wait."

I gasped. "Wait?"

"We're getting married in a few days. An army couldn't come between me and making love you to on our wedding night. We've waited this long. What's a few more days?"

I sighed almost painfully, willing the surge of desire to ebb away. A few more days. An eternity when so much time had passed without intimacy. I closed my eyes, relenting. "Okay."

He smiled and tipped my chin up. "I will be making good use of this desk in the future, though. Rest assured."

CHAPTER NINETEEN.

The sea rolled in with the tide. Warmth and the promise of change mingled with the ocean air. Turquoise and gray clouds slid across the autumn sky, revealing the clear blue above. A perfect day.

Someone called my name. Alli leaned over the Landon's deck, waving me inside. The giddy smile that marked her features today hadn't changed. The knot of anticipation in my belly grew, threatening to explode every few minutes.

Today was the day. Today I would become Blake's wife. Today we would bind ourselves to one another, for always.

I joined Alli and the other girls. Caterers and family friends buzzed around Blake's parents' house. Alli pulled me into one of the large bedrooms where everyone was getting ready.

Fiona was already dressed, a picture of perfection in her strapless flowing lavender bridesmaid gown. Alli and Simone rotated between distracting me from being nervous and telling me what to do next. Makeup, hair, and smiling for the ever-present photographer capturing our casual moments.

We were light, champagne bubbling through us. Everything about today was surreal. Each moment moved in slow motion but slipped away too quickly. Blake's mother fussed over us. Fiona rushed around after every detail, ensuring perfection for a day that she'd spent so much time helping to plan. Alli doted and directed me, making sure I was everywhere I needed to be. We laughed and fought tears. I wanted to tuck each moment away, so I could remember it forever.

Blake and the boys were nowhere to be found. No one wanted to fess up to where they were hiding out. I missed him, but I honored tradition and resolved to wait. We'd waited so long. I could wait a little longer.

Marie arrived before everything was about to begin. She was stunning, in a shimmery espresso dress that hugged her lithe figure. She came close and hugged me tightly.

"You look beautiful. Thank you for being here," I whispered.

She smiled warmly, tears shimmering in her eyes. "So do you. And there's no place I'd rather be than here with you, baby girl."

"No crying!" Alli barked. "Her makeup is perfect. Hold it together, people."

We both laughed, Alli's order adding some levity to the moment. Marie and I had made our amends. We were both sorry, for our pride and for everything that had pushed us apart. She was still mourning Richard, still in shock that he'd not only betrayed her, but had also been ripped from her life so suddenly. She'd loved him, I had little doubt. The tears she fought each time we met since the shooting told me so.

He'd been at the wrong place at the wrong time, but so had I. I wanted to blame Daniel, but I could have easily blamed myself for naively bringing him into my life months ago, thrusting myself into his dangerous world and not knowing the consequences of my choice. Life had played out, but too much had happened to carry grudges. Richard had lost his life, and I'd almost lost mine. Marie was too important to me, and life had proven too short to put any more distance between us.

"You ready for all this?" she asked.

I laughed. "I think so, yeah."

"I think so too." She smiled. "You're going to be beautiful, Erica. But I'm going to seriously lose it when I see you in your dress."

"Hold that thought," Alli said.

She'd emerged from the adjoining bathroom with a large garment bag containing my wedding dress. The well of happy tears surged behind my eyes again. I took breath after steadying breath, determined not to ruin the makeup she'd spent hours perfecting.

A few minutes later, I stepped into the dress and Marie carefully zipped up the back, sealing the fabric tightly around my chest. There wasn't a spare inch anywhere. I couldn't imagine how the dress could fit me any better. The gown was a light cream with a sweetheart neckline, a thousand tiny little beads embroidered into the lace that overlaid the layer of soft satin beneath. Elegant and understated. Delicate and feminine.

I would become Blake's wife in this dress. I'd say our vows. Our vows... I closed my eyes, imagining all the things I wanted to say to Blake. How much he meant to me, and how that would never change.

Alli gave my shoulders a little squeeze. "I'm dying right now. I hope you realize that."

I laughed. "Why?"

A warm smile lit her eyes. "Okay, I'm insanely jealous, but it all pales in comparison to how totally happy I am for you both. I just can't believe this is really happening. I feel like this is the happiest day of my life, but it's yours."

I nodded quickly, my vision blurring with tears.

"It is a beautiful dress," I admitted. The girl wearing it was a wreck though. Only another hour and I'd be in the clear.

"What can I say? I have awesome taste."

I skimmed my hands down the delicate lace that hugged my waist and tapered off at my thighs. "You do. Thank God you came back to Boston. I'd be hopeless without you."

A knock came at the door, jarring me. Fiona opened the door and frowned at a dapper looking Heath, dressed in a sharp tuxedo. "What are you doing here?"

"Special delivery."

Alli's eyes lit up, as if he'd been the groom and this was the first they'd laid eyes on each other. I wanted to see that day, and I prayed Alli would have it. Heath circled around the door.

"A little gift, from the groom." He winked and set a large flat box on my lap before disappearing out of the girl's den.

Simone squealed a little and came closer as I opened it up. Inside, I uncoiled a decadent string of diamonds. Gasps and awes faded into the background.

"Holy shit," Simone muttered under her breath. "Are those diamonds?"

I swallowed hard. "I'm pretty sure." I couldn't begin to fathom the price of the piece, but I'd never seen anything so beautiful.

I handed it to Simone who fastened the shimmering necklace around my neck. It was breathtakingly beautiful, and matched the other gifts-my ring and bracelets-in such a meaningful way.

A few more minutes of bustling and preparing and we started our way through the house. Beyond the windows facing the ocean and the sprawling yard, I could see the guests and wedding party waiting in the warm October sunshine. I trembled at the sight, excited but in disbelief.

"Erica."

I spun and Elliot approached. Beth was by his side, and Clara and Marissa too, in sweet matching white dresses.