We sit in silence for a while before he continues. "She raised me to be nothing like my father. She taught me to respect women and to treat them like G.o.ddesses." He grins sheepishly at me before going silent, apparently lost in thought.

When he starts speaking again, his voice has taken on a melancholy tone. "When she got sick, I spent every moment with her I could. She was more than my mother. She was my best friend, my rock. Toward the end, she became almost delirious from the pain." I wince at his words. Although he hasn't explicitly said, I a.s.sume that she had some form of cancer.

"She became delusional, often mistaking me for my father. She would scream about how I had ripped her heart out, sobbing that she had never gotten over it. In my attempts to soothe her, I told her that I wasn't at all like him and that I would never treat a woman that way. During a lucid moment toward the end, she grabbed both of my hands in hers, looked deep into my eyes, and made me promise never to take advantage of an innocent girl. She asked me to wait to have s.e.x until I loved someone enough to make her my wife, so I swore to her that I would."

I can see the pain in Kai's eyes as he shares this with me, and I realize that as far-fetched as his claim had seemed at first I now believe him.

Kai continues with his story. "After that, a calmness came over her. It wasn't long after that she pa.s.sed. It was as if my promise allowed her to rest at peace." He sighs deeply before going on. "It hasn't been easy, but I have kept the vow I made to my mother on her deathbed. I take it very seriously."

I feel immensely sad for the heartbroken, dying mother who forced her son to take a vow of chast.i.ty and equally sad for the young man who was willing to say anything to ease his mom's suffering-even something that would bring him years of denying himself of one of life's greatest pleasures. I respect his willpower because I am certain that he has faced a great deal of temptation since making that promise. The fact that he never gave in speaks volumes about his character.

"Okay, then." I crane up to press my lips against his cheek. "s.e.x is off the table," I say matter-of-factly.

"Until we're married," he adds to my statement.

I find his word choice odd, but know that it is just his way of flirting with me. I want to shut it down so no errant daydreams about marrying Kai start wafting through my brain, so I say, "Like I said, off the table."

He grins at me mischievously. "For now," he finally acquiesces before turning to head back toward the bar.

I shake my head as I unlock the door to my room. "Forever." I whisper the word sadly and let the wind carry it out to the sea.

Chapter 22.

Baggy and Ruthie both stare at me, mouths agape. "A virgin?" Ruthie finally asks, as if I have somehow offended her just by uttering the word.

"No way," they say in unison.

"I hate to say this," Ruthie starts, making me sure she doesn't hate it at all, "but he is playing you for a fool. I say pretend like you believe his silly story and take that stud m.u.f.fin's 'virginity.'" She actually does air quotes with her fingers when she says the word virginity, as if the mere idea of it is completely inconceivable.

"He doesn't want to have s.e.x until he's married," I tell them, reiterating the fault in her theory. "How is that playing me? What benefit does he get for us not to have s.e.x?"

"That is horse pucky," Baggy decides, finally accepting that Kai might be telling the truth. "His mother had no right to ask that of a virile young man. I say you jump him and ride him like a wild stallion. He must have so much s.e.xual energy built up by now that he won't be able to resist you."

"I can't do that, Baggy. He would feel guilty for breaking his promise to his mom." I quickly jump into my role as reasonable adult.

"He'd get over it fast enough, once he realizes how much fun he's been missing out on. I bet he can get it up three or four times in one night, and work it like a boss while he's plugged in. I'll have a go at him, if you don't want to."

Ruthie and I both stare at her in wide-eyed shock. Her last statements were outrageous, even for Baggy. She looks back at me, apparently oblivious to the fact that what she said was completely inappropriate and cringe-worthy. "Um, no," I finally answer, stating the obvious-in case she wasn't kidding.

Baggy raises her shoulders in a shrug, as if she has offered to help and can't understand my refusal. Ruthie shakes her head, probably to relieve her mind of the horrifying mental image. Then, in an uncharacteristically selfless move, Ruthie tells Baggy that they should leave me alone to get some painting done.

"Don't wait up," she tells me over her shoulder. "If Curtis plays his cards right, I'll be spending the night in his room." I can only a.s.sume that Curtis is the watersports guru who she's been chasing around the resort.

I nod at her before Baggy adds, "Don't wait up for me, either. Howie doesn't even have to play his cards right. I'm planning to rock his world tonight anyway-a.s.suming he can raise his ding-dong again."

Ruthie quickly shuffles her out the door so I don't have to respond. As they are leaving, I can hear her asking Ruthie if she knows where she can find some little blue pills that will bring "Little Howie" to life. Once they shut the door behind them, I heave a sigh of relief. Having a sister to run interference definitely comes in handy sometimes.

Chapter 23.

Since I have the room to myself, I decide to take Ruthie's suggestion and paint. As is usually the case when I start a new piece, I lose myself in the brushstrokes. When I step back to take a look at my creation, I realize that, once again, I have no idea how long I have been at it-nor do I care.

I admire my work. The painting is one of my best ever. It's another view of the waterfall where I spied on Kai and he later shunned my advances. This one uses more muted tones than the one I painted of Kai swimming, but the two pieces complement each other perfectly.

The angle of the viewpoint allows two entwined bodies to be seen on the ledge just beyond the crashing water. I am certain that Kai and I would have been those naked forms, had his mother not forced him to promise away his premarital s.e.xuality.

The knock at the door comes just as I am cleaning my brushes. I am not overly surprised to find Kai standing on the other side of the threshold. "Are you avoiding me?" he asks me in a teasing tone, although I sense some underlying hurt feelings.

Before I have a chance to respond to his question, he spies the just-finished painting over my shoulder. He gasps-yes, actually gasps-as he veers around me to walk over to it. "I love it!" he practically gushes, making my cheeks turn pink.

He takes his time perusing the painting. He inspects it closely initially, before standing back to look at it from various distances and angles. He gazes at it for so long that I start to become slightly self-conscious. I wonder if, despite his previous raving, he might not like it as much after further inspection.

After what seems like an inordinate amount of time, he turns his attention from the painting back to me. "I need this painting," he says matter-of-factly. "How much do you want for it?"

"It's not for sale," I tell him firmly. This painting will serve as the perfect reminder of my time in Hawaii and my almost-affair with Kai. I will display it in a prominent location in my condo so that I am able to gaze it and daydream about being with Kai anytime I like. There isn't enough money in the world to make me part with it.

After lightly badgering me about it for a while, he finally gives up. "I'll let it go for now, but I will have that painting," he tells me.

Before leaving, he asks if I'd like to go sailing with him tomorrow. I jump at the chance-eager for the opportunity to mark something off my bucket list. "Bring your family," he adds kindly. I wonder if he has any idea what wildness he might be signing up for with that invitation, but I nod, indicating that I will ask them.

He kisses me at the door, and I forget all of my concerns. His soft lips and smooth, warm tongue send me to a wondrous place where worries wouldn't dare exist. I float to bed and dream of Kai's tender, sweet kisses turning insistent with pa.s.sion and searing over my skin-all of my skin.

We spend a luxurious night ravaging each other's naked bodies in my dreams. When I wake up, I stretch my limbs, longing to do in real life we had spent the night doing in my subconscious. As fabulous as it had been, I bet having real-life Kai in my bed would be better than anything I could create in my dreams.

I guess we always want what we can't have, but knowing that Kai is physically unavailable to me makes me want him even more. I have never craved a man's body the way I desire Kai. The knowledge that I'll never have him makes it that much worse. As anxious as I am to spend the day with him, the idea of keeping my hands off him is becoming more of a challenge than I could have ever imagined.

I decide to take a cool shower in hopes that it will help stave off the burning desire building in me. As much as I want Kai, I have to think about how he feels. Having never had s.e.x, he is probably practically bursting with need. Stepping out of the shower, I realize that I admire his extreme willpower and the unwavering respect he has for his dying mother's wishes, so I don't want to tempt him into doing something that he will regret.

Do they still make chast.i.ty belts? I wonder, chuckling as I head down for breakfast.

Chapter 24.

I am pleased to find Baggy and Ruthie at our usual breakfast table. Both of their men have joined them, so I have to scoot over a nearby two-top to be able to sit with them. They all seem to be excited at the prospect of sailing with Kai, so we scarf down our food and agree to meet down at the docks in twenty minutes.

Having never been sailing, I'm not exactly sure what to expect. I had hoped that it would be as carefree, fun, and relaxing as it looks in photos, and I am pleasantly surprised to find that it is even better than I had imagined.

Kai is super-patient as he shows us the ropes. Rather than barking out orders and becoming impatient with my flighty family, like Gary no doubt would have, Kai calmly explains what needs to be done in his good-natured manner. I am slightly embarra.s.sed to realize that this fleeting, unflattering thought of Gary is the first time my almost husband has crossed my mind in days. Clearly, it is a good thing that we didn't get married. How could I have thought I was in love with him? He didn't make me feel a tenth of the emotion that Kai does.

I watch Kai's muscular shoulders work the jib or mast or whatever it is that he called the big triangular doo-hickey. He has shucked his shirt, and he looks tan and delectable. I sit back, relax, and enjoy watching him.

Curtis seems to be the man of all watersports. He has quickly picked up on sailing and is cheerily helping Kai, which takes the pressure off the rest of us. Ruthie seems as happy to sit back and watch Curtis as I am to gaze at Kai.

We get a good chuckle watching Jim/Howie and Baggy on the bow of the boat. At first, Baggy acts like a beautiful mermaid statue leading our boat's charge through the water. Unable to resist, Jim/Howie soon joins her leaning out over the water and declaring, "I'm the king of the world."

"Those two are a match made in heaven." The wind carries Kai's voice in my direction.

I nod in agreement. As uncertain as I was at first about her new man, I have to admit, they really do seem to be perfect for each other. I never would have thought that Baggy would find someone as eccentric and full of life as she is, but I think she might have succeeded in doing just that. They certainly seem to have fun together. I don't recall ever seeing Baggy this happy.

Kai asks if we'd like to stop at a deserted island, and we are all in agreement that this sounds like loads of fun. He drops anchor, and we set off in pairs.

Ruthie and Curtis dive into the water and swim toward sh.o.r.e. I hear them giggling as they jog hand-in-hand into the lush foliage. Kai gives me a shy smile as we make eye contact-both of us know exactly what they're going to do.

Baggy and her man set off in our boat's small dinghy. He gallantly rows while Baggy sits with her back stiff and straight, like she is the homecoming queen riding in a convertible red Corvette. I almost expect her to give us a prim curved palm wave, but she refrains.

Kai and I don snorkel gear and jump off the Catamaran. I am simply stunned by the vibrant colors and variety of marine life that is teeming just under the surface of the water. We hold hands as we glide through the water enjoying the show. It is a whole other world under water, and I feel lucky to be able to get a glimpse of it, even if I am an intruder. We are careful to keep our distance and avoid touching anything, so as not to upset the delicate balance of this undersea utopia.

We snorkel for a long while before heading toward sh.o.r.e. I have lost track of Baggy's boat and Ruthie hasn't emerged from her tryst in the jungle, so it feels like Kai and I are the only people on Earth as we walk along the sh.o.r.e together. He finds a beautiful, unblemished conch sh.e.l.l, which he holds up and blows loudly. The tooting sounds like the dinner bell for a luau, and it makes me laugh.

We walk for what seems like miles along the pink sandy sh.o.r.eline. When we stumble upon the beached dinghy, but don't see any sign of Baggy, I start to become a little concerned. I say as much to Kai.

"I think they're okay," he tells me, pointing out the pile of clothes farther down the beach.

Quickly realizing they must be skinny-dipping and so not wanting to see that, I suggest that we turn back. Kai readily agrees-likely not wanting to risk seeing Baggy frolicking au natural with her man any more than I do.

Once we reach a safe distance from any chance of seeing the elderly b.u.mping of the uglies, we sit down on the sand, our legs touching. Kai addresses the elephant in the room-or rather, on the island. "I think everyone here is having s.e.x, except for us." When I nod, he continues, "I'm sorry that we can't fool around," he tells me earnestly. He is quiet for a while before adding, "You'd probably much rather be here with someone who you could get naked with-someone who can show you the pleasures that I can't. It is supposed to be your honeymoon, after all."

Since we haven't discussed this before, I give him a questioning look. "The wedding gown at the airport gave you away." He smiles, but I still feel slightly guilty for making him draw his own conclusions about my non-wedding, rather than telling him about it sooner. He has shared his secret with me, and I need to be more open with him.

It feels good to talk to Kai about what had happened with Gary-especially when I hear his reaction to what I now refer to as the dumping text. "Crazy b.a.s.t.a.r.d," he says simply, shaking his head.

We are quiet a while, each lost in our own thoughts, until Kai murmurs, "He might be crazy, but he could have at least had s.e.x with you, unlike me."

I don't want Kai to feel insecure. I long to make him feel better. "I want to be here with you," I tell him honestly.

I wonder if I should suggest we play around in ways that don't involve actual intercourse, but I'm not at all sure that we would be able to keep things from going too far. I'm also not crystal-clear on exactly what the acceptable activities boundaries are. Finally, I settle for saying, "If we could get naked, that would be great," he blushes a little at my words, "but you are the one I want to be with, whether we're clothed or not."

"I feel the same way," he murmurs near my ear. "Someday, I'll bring you back here, and we'll spend hours ravaging each other's naked bodies."

I wish that he wouldn't make promises that he has no intention of keeping, but I decide to enjoy the fantasy and not call him out on it. After all, it seems that fantasy is all I'm going to get with Kai. That sounded bitter, I think to myself. I don't blame Kai at all for our circ.u.mstances. In fact, I admire him for his incredible restraint. Being on a secluded island where my sister and grandmother are getting down and dirty, while I sit with the man of my dreams holding his hand is for the birds, though. More than that, it just plain sucks. There, I said it-in my mind, anyway. That counts, right?

By the time the others finally return, I have released my sour mood and am just grateful to be in this amazing place with this wonderful man. I hand the other two ladies gorgeous pink hibiscus flowers, and we each place one behind our ear. Kai tells us we look like Hawaiian beauties, which makes us all preen a little.

He gently switches my flower to my left ear, whispering that a hibiscus worn on the right side of the hair means you are available. "You're taken," he growls in a deep voice before nibbling my ear and sniffing the flower. The sentiment makes a delicious shiver zing up my spine, despite my effort to keep my hopes for a real and lasting relationship with Kai at bay.

The men set about catching fish and building a fire on the beach. I had been uncertain about eating a fish that I had just seen wriggling on the line, but I have to admit, it is really delicious. We sit around the fire eating and laughing, enjoying an utterly carefree, wonderful time.

When Ruthie pulls from her pocket a dark lava rock that she has picked up, Baggy shocks us all by being practical-well, somewhat practical. "You can't take that from the island," she tells Ruthie vehemently. "It's a piece of the island, and it belongs here. Taking it will only serve to anger the land, and it will seek vengeance." We all stare at Baggy. This warning is so out of character for her. She's normally the one getting into mischief, not doling out precautions.

Just when I start to think that she might have a conservative and responsible side, she proves that she's still Baggy by adding in a serious voice, "Didn't you see the Hawaii episodes of The Brady Bunch? Bad things happen when people steal from the islands."

We are all laughing as we climb back aboard Kai's boat. "What? It's true!" Baggy declares, not seeing why the Brady Bunch reference makes her statement seem so much less ominous.

"Only you," Ruthie tells her lovingly, shaking her head as she chucks the rock back into the sea.

Chapter 25.

Later that evening, depression over our imminent departure starts to set in. I have been somewhat successful at refusing to think about leaving this lovely island or the fantastic man I met here, but all too quickly our stay is coming to an end. The time has flown by, and now suddenly it's time to start packing. I feel like hurling myself onto the floor like a two-year-old and kicking my feet because I don't want to leave.

The fact that I was able to enjoy today and not spend the entire day thinking about having to leave is a huge improvement over my norm. I have always been this way. I would ruin Sunday by dreading school on Monday. I am always looking forward at what is coming around the bend rather than enjoying the here and now. I'm actually rather proud of myself for not letting the impending end to our trip dampen my spirits until now.

The dread had wanted to start creeping in earlier today on Kai's boat, but I had managed to keep it at bay by repeatedly forcing myself not to think about it. I have no choice but to think about it now, though, because it's time to start packing my belongings into my suitcase-much as I don't want to.

Sitting in the dark by the pool, avoiding the ch.o.r.e of packing, I am slowly and methodically ripping the petals from the lovely flower that was previously tucked behind my ear. I don't know why I'm doing it, but I can't seem to stop myself.

"He loves you." Kai has snuck up behind me and he whispers the words near my ear. The sweet and wonderful words send a tingly chill up and down my spine, even though I know it's too soon for them to possibly be true.

He sits down with me, and I know that I need to tell him that I am leaving, but I just can't seem to formulate the words. He has to know it is coming soon. Maybe he even knows our checkout is scheduled for tomorrow.

Our impending departure is all I can think about, but I just can't find a way to utter the words. Eventually, I cop out by saying that I am tired and feigning a yawn before heading back to my room.

I'm such a ridiculous chicken, I decide as I neatly tuck items into my suitcase. Baggy and Ruthie both opted to spend the night with their boyfriends-that juvenile word doesn't seem accurate, but I'm not sure what else to call them. Those two don't seem at all concerned about packing or getting ready to leave. They'll probably both slide in here at the last minute tomorrow and start tossing their few belongings and purchases into my bag. They both spend every moment in the here and now. It likely hasn't even crossed their minds that we'll be leaving tomorrow. Tomorrow . . . sigh.

I sleep fitfully, but must eventually doze off because I'm startled awake when Baggy and Ruthie return to the room. There is a queasy ball in the pit of my stomach about having to tell Kai good-bye today. I don't want to say the words or do the leaving.

Ruthie and Baggy are chatting amiably as if this isn't the worst day ever. "You two are pretty chipper, considering we are leaving paradise today," I grumble at them.

They both look at me with wide eyes, like this is complete news to them. "Come on, you didn't think we were staying here forever? It's time to head home." They both give me blank stares. A thought pops into my head that makes my stomach drop even further. "You did book your return flights, right?" I don't think I could handle heading home, leaving the two of them to live it up in paradise without me until one or the other of them has enough sense to come back.