She smiled. "It wasn't as hard as you thought it would be either. was it?"

I didn't know what to say, so I just shook my head. She leaned back and looked up at the ceiling.

"You know what he said to me tonight? He said two people like us don't belong alone. Together, we could make a whole new life for ourselves, far the children."

"What did he mean?" I asked, unable to hide my fear.

"What did he mean? What did he mean? How can you be so clever at times and then so stupid at others? It was as close as he could come to asking me to marry him. That's what he meant."

"But... what did you say?" The very idea of it was terrifying.

"I didn't say anything. Noble. A woman doesn't leap at a man's first offer. She doesn't make herself sound desperate or even that interested. Instead, she fills him with doubts so his own confidence dwindles."

"Why?"

"So he knows that when a woman says yes, if she does, its a woman's decision, fully, and it's a woman's gift. That way," she added, turning her tone darker and gazing down at the floor. "no matter what happens, its his fault."

"You're not thinking of saving yes ever, are you. Mama?" I asked, thinking of my promise to Daddy.

"Of course, I am."

"But I thought all you wanted was to have him blamed for fathering Celeste.. You said people are thinking that already. Why do you have to carry this any further?"

"What did I tell you about challenging my decisions, their decisions," she emphasized, her eyes wide and full of gathering rage.

"Maybe it isn't their decision. Mama. Maybe you're hearing the wrong voices, evil voices pretending to be good." Never before in my life had I dared make such a suggestion to her, but it seemed a reasonable way to disagree.

She lifted her head and turned her eyes toward me so slowly, it made my blood cold. Her eves grew smaller as she scrutinized me.

"What are you saving? Who have you heard?

'Who has been visiting you, Noble?" she asked quickly.

I took a deep breath and sat on Grandfather's chair. How careful my words had to be. "I've seen Elliot," I said. "I've heard him, too. He's warned me that if you continue with his father, he will have more power to do us harm."

For a long moment she looked as if she was considering what I had said. Some hope filled my heart. Then her expression of suspicion returned and she looked at me hard again.

"Did he come into this house?'

I started to shake my head, but my eyes were already saving yes. She nearly jumped at me. He did, didn't he? 'When?"

"When you were away with Mr. Fletcher."

She smiled, but it was not a warm smile. The smile was carved out of ice.

"What did you do. Noble? What did you do to him entry into our world? Tell me!" she screamed.

"Nothing."

She shook her head. "You might as well wave a flag with the words I'm lying written on it in my face," she said softly. "You know that. Well?"

It was suddenly hard to breathe. I felt as if the walls were closing in on me, and as they moved toward me, the air thickened and thickened, squeezing my ribs. I looked about frantically.

Daddy, I thought. Daddy, where are you? I need your help. Why aren't you here? Daddy? You came to me so quickly before. You told me what to do.

Please. Daddy. I need you. She'll listen to you. Please.

I looked about frantically.

Mama's eyes darkened. She turned and looked toward the windows where I was looking, then she fixed her eves back on me.

"Whom are you looking for, Noble? Who is supposed to help you?"

I didn't want to tell her about Daddy's visit and what he had said. too. She would accuse me of lying to get out of being caught in a lie, "Nobody," I said quickly.

"Then answer my questions, Noble. What did you do to weaken our walls?" she demanded.

"Nothing."

"You're lying again. I repeat, what did you do?

I"ll find out anyway. It"s better if you tell me, better if you begin to purge. yourself. Noble, Well?"

She was right. I couldn't lie to her, not now, not with her bearing down on me with those eyes.

"I... I was just curious."

"About what?"

"About your makeup, your clothes."

Her face brightened with the blood that rushed up her neck and into her cheeks. There was so much fire in her eyes that I couldn't look at her. I shifted mine toward the floor and waited like someone anticipating a whip snapping on her back.

You used my makeup again? You put on my clothes?"

I didn't reply. When I was younger. I had experimented with her makeup after spying on Betsy when the Fletchers had first moved next to us.

She nodded, a new look of calm on her face, but calmness in her now was even more threatening.

"I want you to go up to your room and remain there until I tell you to come out again," she said.

I knew what that meant. Oh, how well I knew.

"No, Mama. please."

"I"ll help you," she said, continuing her reasonable tone of voice. I kept shaking my head, "I don't want you touching the baby, talking to her, even looking her way until I say it's all right to do so, even after I let you come out again."

"Mama, no. please..."

"Go upstairs. Noble. I'll bring you something soon."

I had to tell her; I had to tell her everything and take the chance.

"Mama, listen to me. I didn't see only Elliot.

Daddy came to me. He came to me tonight. He told me you were making a very big mistake."

She smiled again, that same chilling grin.

"That wasn't your father. Haven't I told you many, many times that evil can assume a pleasing identity to get us to put down our Guard?"

"It was Daddy. It was."

"You're such a fool, I do worry about you.

Without me, what would happen to you?" She leaned toward me and in a hoarse whisper said. "It was your father who brought this whole plan to me."

She sat back again. nodding.

"That's right. This didn't just come out of thin air. He was the one."

I shook my head, but she continued to smile at me as if I was the one very, very mistaken.

"I wondered why you weren't seeing or hearing him for so long. When I asked him, he told me not to worry about it, but this explains it. You had darkness in your heart. You had doubt. Without the faith you cannot cross over. Noble. You cannot be with our aood family spirits.

"It's my mistake," she said. "I have been concentrating on all this so hard, I missed the signals."

"Mama..."

"Go upstairs. It will be all right." Then she smiled again, but warmer. "Think. If this .wasn't right, would Baby Celeste have been so charming, so delightful and loving toward Dave?"

"That's because he's her a""

"What?" she cried, again nearly leaping at me, her eyes stretched so wide. I thought they would tear at the corners. "What?"

I shook my head and looked down, "Go upstairs. Now!" She stood up and hovered over me.

Tears streaked down my cheeks. but I didn't realize it until they began to drip from my chin. I tried to swallow, but my throat felt as if the sides of it had turned to rock. The strapping around my bosom tightened.

"I can't... breathe. Mama."

I tried to stand, but as soon as I did. the room began to spin. I reached out to steady myself, but nothing was there to take hold of. Mama didn't grab me either. She let me fall back. I thought I was falling through the chair. through the floor, through the very foundation, falling into that grave that haunted me so.

The last thing I remember was her glaring at me hatefully.

Then I blacked out.

When I woke. I was in my bed. How had she gotten me up the stairs? I wouldn't have been surprised to hear her tell me my daddy had brought me to my room. I was still dressed but the blanket had been tucked in the sides of the bed so firmly, it was like a straitjacket. I struggled with it. The effort made me nauseous and I had to stop and lie back awhile. A black candle burned in the window, throwing a wavering glow over the walls and the shut door.

Shadows wriggled like worms on the driveway, stuck and desperate to move on. There was nothing to do about my situation at the moment, nothing to do but sleep.

The darkness flooded over me again. I slept so deeply that I was beyond the reach of dreams. It was the sleep of the dead with only the muffled sound of footsteps on the surface of graves.

Hours and hours later, the morning light confused me, and for a minute or so. I just lay there gazing at the blue sky and the clouds I could see through the window. I looked down and saw the chamber pot Mama had given me for Baby Celeste and me in the turret room. The sight of it put the panic back into me. I tried to bolt upright and struggled to throw the blanket off me. I was still dressed in what I had worn the night before. I turned to look at my clock and saw it was gone.

I rose and went to the window. From the way the sunlight washed over the forest and grounds. I concluded it was late in the morning. I hurried to go out. It didn't surprise me to find my door locked. I rattled it and called for Mama. Then I listened hard.

The house was too silent. I rushed back to the window and opened it so I could see where our car was always parked. It was gone.

I stepped back from the window and recalled everything that had happened, all that I had said to her and she to me. Mama was purging me again. I saw she had left me water, but nothing else. Where had she gone? How long would she keep me in here? What ceremony would she put me through now, what herbal panacea?

There was nothing for me to do but wait. I didn't want to drink the water. I didn't trust anything, but I was too thirsty and eventually relented. I had to use the chamber pot as well. I had no idea of how many hours went by, but the sun's movement and the shadows below told it was considerable. Finally. I heard our car approaching the house and rushed to the window to see Mama driving with Baby Celeste in a car seat beside her. I waited until she had entered the house. then I called and pounded on the door.

She didn't come up immediately. She remained below doing whatever it was she was doing. Finally, I heard her ascending the stairway with Baby Celeste, talking to her softly.

"Mama!" I screamed. "Please, let me out now. I promise I'll be good,"

She paused then she went on to Baby Celeste's room. I listened_ and when I heard her footsteps again. I knocked on the door.

"Stop making all that noise. The baby's taking a nap," she said. "I'll bring you something in a few minutes and we"ll empty your chamber pot."

"I want to go outside. Mama."

"Of course you do." She was standing right outside my door. "But it"s not you so much as what's inside you. Noble," she added in a loud whisper.

"No. Mama. no. I'm all right. I promise." She didn't reply. I heard her walk off and descend the stairs. Pounding on the door and crying out would do no good. It would make it all worse. I knew that from the times before when she had done this to me. I had to find the patience and convince her she had corrected whatever it was she imagined had gone wrong.

I knew she would put me through a fast. I tried to sleep to conserve my energy. I did drift off from time to time, but woke often. The sun's descent deepened the shadows in my room. My stomach growled, demanding something. Finally, I heard my door being unlocked. I sat up quickly. Mama entered with a glass of something in her hand.

"Drink this." she told me.

I shook my head.

"You must. It won't hurt you, Noble. It will strengthen you."

"What is it?" I knew it was fruitless to ask. She would never reveal her secret formulas because she believed to do so would reduce their effectiveness.

"Never mind what it is. It will strengthen you."

She held it out. "The faster you cooperate, the faster this will all end."

I thought about jumping up and running out.

but I was afraid. Why hadn't Daddy come to me all this time? Why hadn't he spoken to her as well? Was she right? Had something evil taken on his appearance to fool me?

"You know in your heart that I know what's best for you, for all of us. Noble," she said softly. She reached out and caressed my cheek. She hadn't done it so lovingly for so long. I closed my eyes, enjoying the touch of her hand on me and all that it brought. "Go on," she urged.

I reached out and took the glass. Whatever was in it was yellow. I was sure at least it was some combination of herbs. I knew what she thought about the protective powers of ivy, juniper and garlic, milkwort, and ragwort, among others. Mama expected that someday I would take over producing her remedies, so from time to time she explained them and showed me how she mixed them. There were, however, so many, and so many that carried mystical and spiritual authority.