"If a knife falls off the table, you'll have visitors," Mama chimed.

They both laughed like two conspirators who had been rehearsing their lines for days. When they laughed. Baby Celeste laughed, "She is a delight," Mr. Fletcher declared. "And after all she's been through,'"

"Yes, we were afraid she'd be up all night with nightmares, but fortunately, she's taken to us quickly.

Why, she's even calling me Mama," Mama told him.

"Really?" He was impressed. "Well, that will make things easier for you. Sarah. although'. a" his face soured with his personal problems a" "it's not easy bringing up young people these days." He looked at me and nodded. "Not everyone is as fortunate as you are. You probably made a brilliant decision when you decided to homeschool your children and keep them away from all the bad influences out there."

"Exactly. Now, when Noble goes out in the world, he will have a sensible, strong way about him.

He's responsible, honest, and very loyal," Mama added with her eyes on me.

Mr. Fletcher shook his head in admiration. "I envy you. Sarah. A woman alone and you've made such a beautiful home and now a nice little business with your herbal remedies and all. You live in an early twentieth-century home, but you're a modern day woman to me."

Mama blushed at the compliment. I couldn't remember when I had last seen her blush. Could it be that she really liked this man? Could their love be so strong as to overcome even the secrets we kept locked in our hearts?

Mr. Fletcher looked at Baby Celeste so intently.

I was sure he was seeing Elliot's face. My heart pounded. Mama looked to be holding her breath as well.

"Da da," Baby Celeste suddenly said.

Mr. Fletcher's eyebrows nearly leaped off his face. His eyes widened with surprise. My heart stopped beating. I was sure of it.

Then he laughed.

"See," Mama cried, "she's adopted you already.

I hope you feel like you are with family."

My mouth fell open. Did she dare tempt the truth, a truth poised to leap out at us all and brine down everything in what would be total destruction?

Mr. Fletcher beamed. He looked around the table, smiling at Baby Celeste, smiling at me, then nodding.

It really does feel like Thanksgiving. Sarah," he said. "I can't thank you enough."

He doesn't know. I thought. He doesn't understand. Mama looked at me, and in her face I saw her pleasure and her confidence.

Her eves shifted toward Baby Celeste, who was looking at her with a face that had a remarkably similar expression.

It was the tomorrow Mama had predicted.

I had no idea where it would lead us. but I felt like someone caught in a strong wind or an ocean wave. All I could do was surrender to the future, 7 The Weakened Walls .

Mama outdid herself. It was her best dinner ever. Mr. Fletcher's mouth was as filled with compliments as it was with the succulent turkey and delicious stuffing, and when she brought out his favorite pie, he looked ready to give her whatever she wanted. That adage embroidered on a small plaque in the kitchen. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, never looked truer.

He took a forkful of pie, put it in his mouth, and closed his eyes with pleasure.

And I thought I was a half-decent cook." he told me. "Nothing lets you know how much of a bachelor you are as when you actually believe you enjoy your own cooking, Noble. Beware of that.' He laughed.

When the dinner ended, he insisted on helping Mama clear the table. She refused. She wanted him to adjourn to the living room with Baby Celeste and me.

I was terrified of being with him without Mama.

Thankfully he insisted. "I do it every night for myself. Sarah." "But you are our guest."

"I'd rather like to continue to feel I'm part of a family rather than just another guest," he countered, in magical words.

"That's very nice of you. Dave. Noble, take the baby into the living room. Well be in as soon as we finish here."

Relieved. I quickly did what she asked. Baby Celeste occupied herself with her doll and teacup set.

but I noticed she kept looking to the doorway in anticipation of Mr. Fletcher and Mama. We could hear them laughing in the kitchen.

Afterward, they came into the living room and Mr. Fletcher sat on the settee to listen to Mama play.

To his surprise and mine. Baby Celeste crawled up beside him and leaned against him. He looked at me, smiled, then put his arm around her.

"Hello there." he said, and she looked up at him, her eyes twinkling. "What a special child she is.

Sarah. No wonder you didn't hesitate to take her into your home. I'd take her in myself in a heartbeat."

"I'm sure you would." Mama said, throwing me a conspiratorial glance. It made my heart freeze.

Surely he would soon realize who Baby Celeste really was Mama always said blood was thicker than water.

She began playing some of her Mozart sonatas, and then she played "La Vie en Rose." I watched Mr.

Fletcher's face soften, and his eyes fill with love and appreciation. I had expected it and seen hints of it, but somehow, being in the same room with the two of them and feeling the heat in the air between them. I was truly amazed at how palpable the emotions between them were. The past seemed to have been completely erased. forgotten. Mama truly could do whatever she wanted, but more important perhaps, she could get other people to do what she wanted, When Baby Celeste fell asleep to the music.

Mama asked me to take her up and put her to bed. I lifted her in my arms, and when I leaned over to do so, my eyes met Mr. Fletcher's. He looked at me with new interest, his gaze seeming to reach down into my heart, reaching inside me. I had to move away quickly. fearful he would see all the deception and fear in my eyes.

After I put Baby Celeste asleep, I started down the stairway, and midway I heard their conversation.

"Noble looks like such a sensitive, gentle young man," he told Mama, "That's rare these days. The teenage boys I see all look unwashed, lazy, actually bored with life, and certainly not gentle enough to care for a little girl."

"Yes, he's a wonderful son," Mama said. "A very unselfish young man."

"But doesn't he get lonely here though. Sarah?

A boy that age should be out among his peers, even though I don't approve of the way teenagers conduct themselves these days. A boy this age still needs to socialize, don't you think? He should be thinking more about girls. too. I don't mean to poke my nose in where it doesn't belong. I'm just impressed with him and want what's best for him, for both of you."

"You're not poking your nose into any forbidden places. Dave. Yes. Noble should get out more. I suppose it's my fault. I don't encourage it enough, but he's been introverted ever since we lost Celeste."

"Yes, I know how devastating that must have been. The police never found any clues?" "Nothing. It was like a ghost had taken her."

"How horrible for you, for you both."

"Yes. You have to remember Noble lost his father at a young age. too. They were so close. I can see him to this day standing on that front porch for hours waiting for my husband's truck to appear, and when it did, the joy in his face was electric. Those eyes lit up like stars. He absolutely idolized his father, and to see him die when he appeared so strong... well, it shook Noble up something terrible."

"I understand."

"The combination of those losses was very, very traumatic, Dave. The only time he started to emerge was when he met your son. I was tempted then to permit him to attend public school. He was making such an improvement. I wanted it to continue."

That was a lie. Why was she telling him such a thing?

"I know. I wish I had encouraged their friendship more. I see that now," Mr. Fletcher said. "I was a fool to listen to all the gossip about you."

It"s understandable. You were new in the community and you had just been through a bad marriage. Here you were with two teenagers. Why shouldn't you be extra-cautious?

"Anyway," Mama continued. the tragic death of your son, his one real friend, was another devastating blow. I had my hands full just to get him to go out and tend to his chores, much less return to the stream to fish or walk through the forest. He went through a period when he did believe the nasty gossip about us.

We only could bring harm and catastrophe to anyone with whom we had contact. It turned him into a real introvert, made him afraid of getting too close to anyone. I did the best I could, the best I could."

I heard her sigh deeply.

"I know he belongs in some sort of professional therapy, but for now I'd like to keep trying to help him myself. There's enough of a stigma on him just being my child, much less to add all the connotations that are acquired when a person goes into therapy, and don't think it would be kept secret. Not in this community of busybodies."

"I understand. Maybe, if you permit. I can get him out and about, take him fishing perhaps, go on hikes."

"I'd like that, but we have to move slowly."

"Yes, of course. You're a terrific woman. Sarah.

I haven't met anyone with as much understanding, tolerance of people, and sympathy for them as you have. You have such a contentment about you, such a spiritual balance."

"I am who I am."

"Well. I for one am glad you are who you are."

They were quiet for a long moment. They couldn't be just sitting there looking at each other.

They're kissing, I concluded. It was as if I could see through the walls. They had embraced. She put her lips close to his and they kissed.

I turned and as quietly as possible went back upstairs to my room. I closed the door and, with the lights off. went to my bed and lay there staring into the darkness.

In the room below. Mama and Ir, Fletcher were probably still embracing, kissing, perhaps doing much more by now. Such imaginings sent my mind reeling back through time. I was in the forest again. I was alone and I was free to be who I was. I had taken off my brother's clothes and unstrapped my breasts. The cool air was refreshing and my body tingled with such pleasure, I nearly came to tears.

Then I heard a branch crack.

It was more like a clap of thunder.

I opened my eyes slowly, and when I looked up. I saw Elliot standing there gazing down at me, his mouth twisted, his eyes wide. I felt every muscle in my body freeze. His lips moved, but for a few moments nothing came out, no words, no sounds. He looked to be having trouble swallowing. I was still, deathly still. Finally he spoke.

"You're a girl?" he asked, to confirm what his eyes were saying.

All of it, all that followed, returned with a vividness that made me moan aloud. I could feel him inside me, his hands all over me. I was helpless, trapped in the deception my mother had made me assume. She had put me in harm's way, I thought. It wasn't my fault. None of it was my fault. It would never be my fault, "No," I heard Daddy whisper. "It's not your fault. princess."

I turned and I saw him standing there. He caressed my face. He leaned down and kissed my cheek.

"What she's doing is wrong," he said, nodding at the floor and what was happening below. "She's making a big mistake. Try to stop her. Try."

"She won't listen to me." I moaned.

"She will if you try," he insisted. "You must do it for all of us. Celeste, all of us." "I'll try," I promised.

He began to back up. "Try," he urged. "Try."

"Daddy!" I called, but he was absorbed into the wall and in a moment was gone. Was he there? Did I wish for him so hard that I imagined him there and heard him say the words I wanted to hear?

Below I heard the sound of the piano. Mama was playing again. It was soft and lovely, the sort of music that would beguile an unsuspecting soul. I drifted off, then woke to Mama's calling up to me.

"Come down and say goodnight to Dave.

Noble." she told me when I rose and went out to the top of the stairway. "It's not polite to withdraw without saying good-night to our guest," she added with firmness.

I scrubbed my cheeks to wake myself and descended the stairs. Mama waited a moment to be sure I was coming, then she went back into the living room.

"Oh, she didn't have to disturb you, Noble," Mr.

Fletcher said, standing when I entered.

"It's all right. Good night. Thanks for coming,"

I told him, unable not to sound mechanical. rehearsed.

Nevertheless, he smiled. "Maybe one of these days you and I can do some fishing. Doesn't have to be in the creek. I hear Masten Lake is pretty good for bass. What do you think? Do you know it?"

I looked at Mama and then nodded.

"Great. I'm going to have all of you over to my place soon. Of course, we'll arrange it so your mother does all the cooking." He laughed.

He started for the doorway and I stepped back.

He paused and extended his hand. "Night. Noble."

"Good night" I said, shaking his hand.

"Man. those are callused palms. You're working him to the bone, Sarah."

Mama laughed and followed him out. She stepped onto the porch and closed the door behind her. I was just about to the top of the stairway when she returned.

"Noble," she called.

I looked back and she walked into the living room. What did she want? I started down again.

You did well," she said, sitting on the settee.