"There are other parts of me that are equally fascinating," I murmured, guiding him inside me.

"I'll say," he sighed, as he sank deeper.

Then he began thrusting into me, each powerful stroke sending waves of pleasure bursting like fireworks from my inner core down to my toes. I s hut my eyes to savor the rush of delightful sensations and lifted my hips, inviting him to explore my depths. The room fell silent except for our harsh breathing and groans as he thrust faster and faster. I dug my nails into his back and hung on, hopi ng it would never end.

It did, of course. As always. I wore him out, and he collapsed in the be d beside me, his chest and shoulders damp with sweat. I took a deep breath, enjoying the heady mixture of scents from our sweaty bodies and our sex. I stretched, expecting to relax and fall into a contented sleep as I always did after lovemaking.

Instead, without warning, a sense of dark foreboding washed over me. My 74

heart started to pound with an inner fear that had no rhyme or reason. Yet I knew it did, knew that this sense of mounting doom wasn't going to go away again. This intense feeling had something to do with the people in stasis. Maybe I w as picking up on the turmoil of energy within the crystals themselves as they neared maximum capacity. I had touched the interior of those crystals with my mind while going through the gates. Maybe I had unwittingly established some sort of link .

I wanted to do something, but without a clue as to their condition, I didn't yet dare to act. I had to hope I could learn more as my powers continued to expand. In the meantime, I decided to keep plugging along with Russell, learning the new techniques he had developed. The gate masters had been dedicated to the scientific method. Knowledge seemed to be the key to unraveling their mysteries. At each step along the way, our discoveries had shown them to be a reasonable, logical race. It seemed more than probable that they had provided a way to safely release those locked in stasis.

I lay wrapped in Terry's arms as he slept the sleep of the innocent, telling myself over and over that it would be okay. My heart refused to believe.

I was sure there would be problems, many of them.

"What's wrong?" Terry stirred to wakefulness and eyed me with a sleepy gaze. I realized I must be broadcasting worried thoughts like an alarm s iren.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, putting up my mental shields.

"Hey!" Terry gave me his sweet smile. One hand gently caressed my breast.

"I was one of Messler's advisors, remember. You can tell me anythi ng."

"Don't, you'll get me going again," I protested, swatting at him, although not hard. "And I know you're done for a while."

"That may be, but you're not."

I giggled, something I was never prone to as a man. Then I got serious.

"I'm afraid we're going to encounter more problems than any of us can imagine yet-but I haven't a shred of proof."

"What kind of problems?"

"That's the hell of it. I can't predict what kind. And there's no way to prepare ahead of time because when we release the stasis, everyone comes out at once.

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According to Russ anyway."

"He should know if anyone does. He certainly impressed the hell out o f me with his ability to manipulate the quantum flux within the gates today."

He'd impressed me, too. Thinking about Russell's abilities cheered me up. I grinned at Terry with some of my usual good humor.

"Yes, Russell is something else. It's hard to argue with success."

"Right. Now let me ask you something. Can you stop the changes in you r mind if you go through the gates more times?"

"Yes, with Russ guiding me, that wasn't too hard to learn. Why?"

"Because I love you dearly, Li, we all do. But I think you're goin g to become too...unworldly, if you keep on."

His eyes met mine and I could see his genuine worry. Well, I was a littl e worried, but not that much. Not about that, anyway.

I pushed him back on the bed and began kissing my way down his body whil e using mind touch to reassure him that I was as human as he. It turned ou t that he wasn't quite finished yet, not after I found him with my mouth.76

CHAPTER SIX.

I left poor Terry sleeping-or maybe just too exhausted to move-and went looking for Russell. I wanted to talk to him about what had gone on while we were in transit through the gate. The more I thought about it, the less I liked the sense of impending trouble that had settled over my mind ever since my experience inside the gate. It wasn't the learning experience that troubled me-on the contrary, I was excited about what I could do now that I could travel through the gates without worrying about further erosion of my humanity. No, it was my sense for p atterns that was giving me fits, jumping around in my mind like popcorn in a skillet, yet getting nowhere.

The crystal city of the masters was huge, but I had no doubt I would find Russell before long, simply because I was letting a little bit of quantu m indetermination play around in my mind. It would lead me to him if I didn't force it.

The universe has a surprising way of giving us what we most desire-unfortunately, what we desire and what makes us happy often turn out to be horses of a different color.

I needed to think. Knowing I would find Russell before long, I took a st roll outside. It was a beautiful morning in the Nexus. We usually woke up to sunny skies.

On alternate days, usually late in the afternoon, white clouds would come rolling in over the hillsides and a gentle rain would fall for 20 minutes or so, wa tering the lush green grass that grew ankle-deep everywhere. The grass never needed cutting, which was yet another mystery, although I assumed the masters had genetically engineered it with that trait. The thought passed my mind that we could export that grass to Earth and make a fortune.

A series of sculptures lined the pathways out of the city. On a whim, I chose a direction I had never gone before while I admired the sculptures. When it came to art, the masters had obviously gone in a different direction than most Earth cultures.

They seemed to eschew any images of themselves. Nor did they go for the random freedom that characterized so much modern art-or what some people call art.

More often it looked like hen scratching or debris from a windstorm to me. Rather, the77

masters' works seemed based on some higher mathematics. As the mathematician in our group, Donna was fascinated by it and could spend hours expoundin g on the possible meaning behind these sculptures.

I was pondering the mathematical precision all around me when I heard a cheerful wolf whistle from beside the path. I looked around and saw one of the Seconder scientists Russ had brought over from Earth to help him with the sex gates. The man waved and grinned as he passed by, probably on his way to another day of exploring various wonders in the city. In total, there were about 20 scientists working under Russell, although, from what I had observed most of the 'help'

was window dressing. Russell was the creative thinker-he came up with the groundbreaking concepts needed to understand the masters, and then let them sort out details.

I appreciated the whistle-what woman doesn't like admiration from the opposite sex?-but it reminded me that I had forgotten to dress before leaving Terri.

Feeling a bit chagrined, I waved back at the scientist. As a man, I had gotten into the habit of wandering around nude quite a bit. The unending good weather of the Nexus encouraged that habit. The old nudity taboos were almost non-existent here, and were gradually disappearing back on Earth, albeit not without resistance from the major religions and their fundamentalist adherents. The powers that be in the religious communities knew that controlling sexual attitudes meant controlling their believers, as surely as computers are controlled by electrons.

But as a woman, I much preferred to wear clothes. As much as we men love to ogle the naked female form, I think we'd agree that women are sexi er half- dressed than nude. Once I had existed as a woman a time or two I knew that truth down to my very bones, knew the sexual enticement I could create with a few clinging garments. Believe it or not, I even developed a love of shopping, or at least for shopping for alluring clothes to wear. Here, with no stores, I conce ntrated, and let the quantum magic do its work. Shortly I was strolling along in a pale blue toga, which clung to my hips and breasts as if the material was living stuff- and perhaps it was, in a way. At any rate, I immediately felt more comfortable, and more female. I enjoyed the slight bounce of my breasts and the wiggle in my hips.

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Quite soon, I was on the outskirts of the crystal city, heading toward a line of trees that marked the beginning of a vast forest. I'd never entered the forest before, and I felt my curiosity grow. Although it was early morning, the alien sun beat down on me from a clear sky. The climate in and around the city was always the same, controlled exactly by the Nexus, but the further out you walked the more natural the environment became. None of us ever ventured too far despite the many discoveries we knew might await us out there-too many other problems had occupied my thoughts since my arrival. My attention of necessity had focused on Earth and its problems.

"Hi, Li." Russ emerged from the trees ahead of me.

I gaped at him, surprised, although I shouldn't have been. "Hey, R uss. I was looking for you."

He was bare to the waist, but wore soft old jeans, which looked as if th ey had been washed a hundred times. A pair of comfy leather sandals encased his feet.

"Yes, I know. You want to be careful when you're wandering near this forest.

It's the home to some carnivores that are fairly large, and they have no respect for humans."

As if to show that he was telling the truth, a huge lion-like mammal chose that moment to jump from concealment behind a tree. Growling, it bounded in our direction, visions of haunch of human on its menu for supper. My hand grabbed for my gun and encountered only the soft blue fabric of my dress. My heart almost leapt out of my chest. Goddamnit, I wasn't carrying! A gun had never seemed necessary here. Since nothing material could come with you through the gates, I wo uld have had to create it out of the quantum flux. Too late now!

I turned to run, hesitated, then whirled around again to grab Russ who hadn't yet moved. Scientific curiosity is one thing, but standing and staring while a dangerous beast stalks you borders on plain stupidity. As I clapped a ha nd on Russell's shoulder, the cat-like animal snarled and leapt at us. I yanked at Russ and we staggered back a step. The beast stopped in mid-leap, a loud whacking sound rang out, and the creature slid down the air to the ground. Confused, it backed up, growling at some invisible foe, and tried another half-hearted leap. I winced as it

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crashed into the invisible barrier again. It lay stunned for a long moment, then struggled to its feet, shook itself in disgust, and limped back into the trees.

"You have to learn to think fast if you're going to wander this way," Russ said, with a grin. "I found that out on a previous visit. That experience taught me to program my mind. My subconscious knows it must create a quantum barrier between me, and any attacking animal. We were never in any danger."

I gasped with relief, even though my heart pounded against my ribcage.

"Maybe not, but I damn near ruined my new toga, and embarrassed myself at the same time."

"Not to worry. Sit down, Li, and let's talk."

I nodded and led the way. The path curved away from the forest and up to the top of a hill. A huge boulder, already warmed by the sun, provided a comfy perch overlooking the city. I sat down and dangled my feet. In the distance, the crystal towers glittered in the sunlight, spires twisting upward as if it weren't a city, but rather some giant plant seeking the light. In many ways, it was a living thing. I always half expected to hear a voice speak to me out of thin air.

Russ frowned in concentration as he sat down beside me and a pitcher appeared on the rock surface between us, its surface beaded with cold mo isture.

Two iced glasses sat beside it, filled with liquid. Smiling my thanks, I picked one up and took a sip. Long Island had its famous iced tea, but this concoction put it to shame. I coughed as it burned down my throat.

I grinned at him. "What's up, Russ?"

"Mm. I want to talk to you." He got that spaced out look on his face, as if his mind was an eternity away from mundane affairs. I waited patiently, and presently he came back to reality. "Sorry. Lots of things to think about, besides the sex gates, the stasis situation, and what's happening on Earth."

"So what else is so momentous that it overshadows those things? Are aliens invading?"

That was a poor jest. The sex gates had been around for years and they w ere as alien as anything humans had ever imagined.

"Remember what I told you the other day about Donna wanting to have a 80

baby?"

"Sure do. I'm happy for you both."

The mention of babies made me think of Rita. Lately everything made methink of Rita, and how much I missed her. Now that I could navigate the gates without danger of further losing my humanity, I longed to return to her. I wondered if I dared to risk a quick trip to Earth despite the time pressures we faced in the Nexus.

Russ gripped the edged of the rock with his big hands as if searching fo r some stability.

"We're both really excited about the baby, Li. We've decided to go the whole route-you know, live together, try to be a family unit."

His face got a dreamy look on it, as if he could already see the child b eing born. I wondered if he thought I might be jealous. I'll admit to a tiny bit of jealousy that he was here with Donna, while Rita and I remained separated. But I was glad for Donna's sake-and for Rita's. They wanted babies very much.

Personally, I couldn't imagine wanting to have a baby, not even when I was a woman.

For one thing, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm scared out of my wits by just the thought of the pain of childbirth, and secondly, there is too much of the male in my outlook, regardless of which sex I am, to want children. Or let me amend that-to want to bear a child.

As a male, I looked forward to the joys of fatherhood. I didn't know if Rita was carrying a boy or a girl, but I knew I would treasure a child of either sex.

After all, I'd been both. And I suspected someday in the future our son or daughter would change sexes as well. Sex no longer mattered as much. The idea of creati ng a new life was what overwhelmed me. I was as excited and enthralled at the prospect of becoming a father as she was about becoming a mother.

"Cat got your tongue?"

Maybe my mouth was hanging open; I don't recall. I was lost in the pa st. I shook my head and blinked at Russell.

"I was thinking about Rita and the baby we're going to have. I want to get back to her soon. I don't know what kind of a family unit Seconders w ill eventually come up with, but I do know a kid needs both parents around."

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"Amen to that, brother." Russell clapped me on the back. "Hope you don't mind my claiming exclusive rights to Donna for a while."