"Of course not. I want to see you two as happy as Rita and I are."

I loved Donna and would do anything for her. If she wanted to have a bab y with Russ, I was glad to step out of the picture for as long as it took. AsDon, she'd been my best friend long before the sex gates appeared, and as Donna she was a sweet and wonderful lover. I looked out over the valley and thought of the past.

"The only thing I regret is how stupidly I acted when Don became Donn a."

"Don't fault yourself," Russell said. "We were new to the idea of sex changes back then. I could have done more to help her make the transition too, but I was so damned busy investigating the things."

I remembered the long, agonized looks of love and longing Donna had sent my way. She'd wanted me to be her first lover, but I'd been totally turned off by the idea of sleeping with my best male buddy.

I chuckled. "Rita still teases me about how she had to slip an aphrodisiac into both our drinks to get us together."

Trust Rita to find a way to encourage love. I loved her for many things, and especially for the fact that she didn't have a jealous bone in her bo dy. She knew I loved her and was never afraid to expand the circle of our love.

"It worked. In fact, I've always wanted to thank Rita for that. Donna's first experience with sex as a woman was so terrific that she's stayed female most of the time since. I appreciate that, since I prefer to remain male." Russell gave me a sly grin.

My mouth twitched. "I don't know. I like you best as Rissa."

"That's because you're Lee most of the time." His gaze dropp ed to my chest where the wind molded the soft blue cloth to the outline of my breasts. My nipples hardened and not because of the chill in the wind. "Russell and Li works too,"

he murmured, setting down his glass and leaning over to kiss me.

Our lips met and then his tongue demanded entrance. I tasted sweet rum a nd spices from the tea. His hands cupped my breasts, squeezing the soft fle sh, his thumbs moving to tweak the already rigid nipples.

82

"You're way too distracting as a female," he said, breaking off the kiss and running his fingers through the thick, auburn waves of my hair.

"Not half as distracting as you are as a male." I punched a playfu l fist into his shoulder. "But we have serious matters to discuss."

The light in Russell's eyes dimmed. "Too true. I've spent a lot of time thinking about the difficulties ahead of us. As a scientist, it bothers me that we are operating on so little data. I think you and I should tackle a gate again. And aga in. There'ssomething funny I'm sensing, but it keeps escaping me. And you've said you also sense a problem, a foreboding of some sort. Maybe your pattern analysis can find the missing piece of the puzzle if we're not distracted by anyone else."

I ran a hand down Russell's cheek, feeling the rough stubble of beard. He hadn't shaved and I enjoyed the prickling of his beard. "I was hoping to stay female for a couple of weeks, at least."

"That's no problem now that you've mastered controlling the mental changes.

You can go through as often as you want."

I'd lived with the fear of what the gates might be doing to my soul for so long that it was hard to shake it. "When do you want to go through again?"

"No time like the present."

We hiked back down the trail. I was glad to see the native wildlife gave us a wide berth. When we reached the edge of the city proper, a moving pathway appeared. Russ certainly knew the trick of manipulating the quantum instabilities; he brought improbability into certainty with the ease of a driver changing lanes on a crowded freeway. He made it look simple, but in reality it was incredibly complicated, demanding a level of genius far above the normal human mind. Even with the mental expansion the gates had provided, it remained a trick I hadn't mastered yet- and I suspected no one else had, either, with the possible exception of Messler. I followed Russell off the walkway into the entrance to one of the spires, and from there, to what appeared to be the same control room where we had gone through the sex gate the last time. Hand in hand, we approached the bright turquoise-green arch and stepped confidently into it.

You'd think we would have both learned by now-never take a sex gat e for 83

granted. They hold more mysteries than we can began to imagine. The first step into the gate was completely normal. The turquoise-green fog that filled the entrance engulfed us and became the entire universe. With the ease of long practice, I resisted the gate's attempts complete my transformation and turned my mind toward the inner workings of the sex gate, as I tried to learn more.

Power hummed through the green mist around me, more power than I ever remembered feeling before. I sent a mental question toward Russell and met only a blank wall. Russell's energy pattern had vanished. Shocked, I whirled around, searching the mist, but my consciousness could find no trace of is here inside the gate. Somehow the fog had become literal, interfering with my perceptions. Ithad swallowed everything up.

That's when I panicked. I took a deep mental breath and forced my min d to concentrate. I'd been through the gates many times without Russell. I could handle it. And I was sure Russell could take care of himself, whatever had happened.

I expanded my mental awareness into a circle around me and felt the fami liar tug toward the sex change, but that was easy to resist. I hardly gave it a thought.

Something else tugged at my consciousness, a steady but determined press ure that wanted to pull me in a different direction, deeper into the impenetrable mist.

Alarms went off in my mind as my ability to discern patterns warned me of impending danger. I struggled with my fears and thought of simply letting the sex change take over. That would pop me right out of the gate. Then I remembered Russell's words about the dangers of not having enough data. Ignoring the sense of impending danger, I followed the faint tug, sensing that this phenomenon was somehow linked to the stasis situation.

As I drew closer, a voice started to mutter deep in my mind. Someone was sending knowledge directly to my consciousness by a telepathic process a nd my mind was interpreting it as best as it knew how-as words barely heard. I strained to catch the meaning.

Help! Save us! Set us free!

My heart ached to hear the fading voices of those millions of souls locked in stasis. Some force whispered deep inside me, telling me that I alone had the ability 84

to help those unfortunates who hadn't made the first passage. My sense of danger grew, as the alarm bells turned to warning cannon blasts. The voice insi de me continued to whisper. For the first time, I wondered if I would have to allow the gates to make more changes in my mind in order to succeed. Fear stabbed throug h me- such changes would bring me perilously close to losing my humanity forever.

Clamping down hard on my fears, I persisted. Those lost voices haunted me.

I knew I would never forget their cries if I deserted them. The voice deep in my mind grew louder, urging me to take the final step beyond humanity for their sake.

Don't be afraid. Allow me to increase you mental powers.

The alien presence in my mind whispered reassurance to me as I hung ther e in green nothingness. Taking the last few steps would be simple. All I h ad to do was ease forward and-a wrenching mental battle erupted like a storm around me.

"Li! Don't!" Russell's mind again connected with mine. "Not that way!"His mental command rang through my mind. I knew that urgency, had heard it before as I'd fought in the streets of Houston. It was the voice of an infantry commander being assailed on every side, but standing his ground. His energy pattern reappeared out of the fog as it roiled around us, the very flux within the gate disturbed by his battle with the force that was using its siren song and the cries of those in need to entice me away from his presence.

His hand raked through the air, trying to grab my shoulder although, strictly speaking, neither of us was physical anymore. We were within the gate, i n some in- between state, our minds supplying images that we could relate to. His mouth moved in silence, yet I heard his mental shout.

"No! Li, don't go that way!"

His warning hauled me back from the edge where I tottered. In another instant, I would have gone over and become another kind of being-no longer Jackson Lee Stuart, but something else entirely, something not entirely human.

That being would have the ability to free those trapped in stasis without difficulty. They could emerge, but it would pay the price, would be forever separated from normal humanity.

I halted at the very edge, as if on a cliff, torn two different ways. I teetered 85

above an abyss of human oblivion, confused and lost in the fog, deafened by the voice that shouted in my mind. Only someone such as Russell, with his mental power and understanding of the quantum world, could ever have brought me back.

Russell held tightly to my consciousness and guided me away from the dan ger. Like one blind I followed him, letting go, and letting the sex change began.

The green fog rose up to engulf me, and I stumbled out of the sex gate as a male.

I stood steps away from the entrance, shaking like a leaf in a hurricane.

Russell-now Rissa-helped me to stand erect until the trembling stopped.

Goddamn, what kind of trap had I blundered into inside the gate? My mind gibbered like a frightened animal.

"Stay here. Don't move," Rissa commanded.

She left me and hurried around to the other side of the gate. Fear stabbed through me at the risk she was taking, but seconds later (by my reckoni ng), Russell stepped out.

"Come on. Let's get out of here before you get tempted."

Was he crazy? Damned if I wanted to go through that again. And yet-an d yet-it had been like being offered a crown of power and all that went with it.

The part of my mind not consumed by fear continued to process the informatio n I'd received from the whispering voice. I knew if I'd gone through with the changeI would possess incredible powers, including the mental strength to cure whatever might ail the people in stasis when they were released. I bit my lip as the stunning truth burst over me: if I needed these powers for the transition to succeed, without them the people would be hurt, wounded in some way when they were freed. There was no question about it now, though Russell and I had both already suspected that would be the case. I was human, but as a human being, could I walk away from such a gift knowing that if I refused it, others would pay the price in suffering and pain?

Russell and I left the control room and headed out into the open air out side the spire. I paced around until I calmed down enough to materialize some clothes and ask Russell where we were going.

"Off to see the wizards," he said.

86

At first I had no idea what he meant. Then it became clear. "The othe r scientists in your group?"

"Yup. They aren't nearly as far advanced as we are in controlling the gates, but they are smart people. We could use some new viewpoints to stimulate our thinking."

"After what just happened, I don't think I'm such a hot prospect for controlling the gates, either. Whatever that was leading me on, it damn near had my mind for supper."

"It was the gate masters, I think," Russell said.

"I thought they were long gone. Messler went looking for them, for Christ's sake!"

"I know. Looks like he headed in the wrong direction," Russell adm itted with a wry grin. "They may have been watching us this whole time. That prove s something or other, but damned if I know what."

87

CHAPTER SEVEN.

Whenever Russell's group got together I knew how a caveman must feel dropped into the twenty-first century. I admired them. They were a conclave of the best and brightest of Earth. I'm fairly bright, but compared to that group Iwas like the runt of a litter; special, maybe, but not nearly as large as the rest.

Even Donna outranked me in intellect; she was a superb mathematician.

Since coming to the Nexus, she'd made several passages through the ga tes. Those trips had enhanced her natural mathematical talent to a whole new level-that of a savant. What she possessed was a gift, like mine for sensing patterns. In that she was unique. So far as I knew no one else had developed a savant talent in a field where they were already proficient, except her. It was one more puzzle of the sex gates to go along with the long list of others.

Randy and Terri attended the gathering, too, only now they were Randi and Terry. Neither one made any claim to particular brilliance, although I thought both were far too modest. You didn't get to be Messler's lawyers and co nfidants by being stupid. But mainly Russell wanted them present, because they represented another anomaly, something else about the gates we didn't understand. Like Rita and me, they'd gone through the gates together and become Seconders together. We were the only couples that had ever done that.

Terry looked disappointed to see that I was male, but when I explained what happened, he could only shake his head in dismay. "That's scary, L ee. This stasis business is turning out to be more dangerous than I ever dreamed."

I could only agree. The babble of voices around us died down, as Russell made a gesture and people started finding seats. I grabbed a drink from the bar in one corner of the room and took a seat. I took a gulp, welcoming the burn from the alcohol as it went down my throat. There are days when you need somethin g to numb the shock.

Someone next to me lit a cigarette. After nearly vanishing, cigarettes had made a comeback among Seconders. How could cigarettes hurt us when we co uld always go through a gate and become young and healthy again? I turned to my 88

neighbor.

"Mind if I have one?"

He handed over a white tube with a smile. I lit up with the urgency of a heroin addict a day past his last fix. As the smoke filled my lungs, I surrende red to the bliss without guilt. Then I remembered that I was in no particular hurry to go through a sex gate again-not until we figured out what had attacked me. Groaning to myself, I took one more soul-satisfying drag and snuffed it out. Better not to start the habit again.

We sat down in a circle, an even baker's dozen of us. Amanda had come in a little earlier. I'd started in her direction to talk to her, but she'd turned away and struck up a conversation with someone else. I'd been about to find ou t why when Donna had caught my arm and dragged me over to talk to Russell.

Now Russell folded his arms and glanced from face to face, his serious expression warning us that this would be an intense discussion. Without preamble, he began describing what had happened to us with words, and mind to mind . Like the scientist he was, he kept it brief and organized with barely a mention of the main thing that stayed in my memory-an overwhelming fear.

I watched conflicting emotions flit across the faces of the others as he talked: fear, anxiety, disbelief, anger, fascination. Russell droned on, describing how some unknown entity had tried (and damn near succeeded) to entice me into allowing a transformation of my being to a higher level of intellect and knowledge.

Several listeners shuddered as he emphasized that the change would almost certainly have ended my humanity. That was something everyone feared; a worry we though t we'd conquered, now back to haunt us again. My pulse started to race. Donna, who was sitting right beside me, squeezed my hand sympathetically.

Russell leaned forward, gathering their attention with his eyes. "What caused this phenomenon? I believe it could only be one thing-the voice Lee h eard was that of a gate master."

"The gate masters!" Donna jerked in surprise, and shot a speculati ve look my way. "Why were they after Lee?"

Russell folded his arms, his expression grim. "I can only conclude th at they 89

are watching us. With their mastery of the gates and the alternate realities, spying on us is probably child's play. They must know that Messler left Lee in charge. To all intents and purposes, he is our leader."

"Why don't they bring back Messler, then?" Randy asked. I wasn'

t surprised that was the first thought that popped into his mind. Both he and Terri were devoted to their former boss. "If they haven't really vanished, they must know he is looking for them."Russell bit his lip. "I assume that they don't want to be found by us, or they could easily have contacted Messler. Or maybe they prefer to deal with Lee."

I wasn't sure if that was a compliment or an insult. Maybe the masters thought I'd be easier to handle than Messler. I knew for damned sure if Russe ll hadn't gotten through to me at the last second I'd no longer be human. I took another gulp of my drink.

"What is obvious," Russell continued, "is that this entity wants us to continue to use the gates to evolve, whereas we have chosen to stop and remain hu man. The masters must want to create an enhanced mind-we know that they chose to take that course. The conclusion would be that they themselves are no longer human."

"They have a good reason, though," Donna pointed out in gentle tones. "They seem to be concerned about those poor souls in stasis. The entity implied it will take an enhanced mind to cure them, or help them, or do whatever it is we nee d to do to set them free."

"They should have thought about that before they sent them there with their damned gates!" Terry looked angry, but I knew he was really afraid fo r me.

"I doubt they realized how many humans would fail to meet the minimal standards for a successful passage through the gates. They were too far ahead of us to understand us anymore. The number of souls in stasis is probably a shock to them, too."