[Ill.u.s.tration: The Innocent Abroad.

Out since Mons: "Well, what sort of a night 'ave yer 'ad?"

Novice (but persistent optimist): "Oh, alright. 'Ad to get out and rest a bit now and again."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: "There goes our blinkin' parapet again."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: "We shall attack at Dawn"

"Never mind about that now, drink this."

"The Push"--in Three Chapters.

By one who's been "Pushed."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: "The Spirit of our Troops is Excellent."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: The Things that Matter.

Scene: Loos, during the September offensive.

Colonel Fitz-Shrapnel receives the following message from "G. H.

Q.":--"Please let us know, as soon as possible, the number of tins of raspberry jam issued to you last Friday."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: The Soldier's Dream.

A "Bitter" disappointment on waking.]

[Ill.u.s.tration: The Thirst for Reprisals.

"'And me a rifle, someone. I'll give these ----s 'ell for this!"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: The Ideal and the Real.

What we should like to see at our billets--and (inset) what we do see.]

[Ill.u.s.tration: "Watch me make a fire-bucket of 'is 'elmet."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: "That 16-inch Sensation."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: That Sword.

How he thought he was going to use it----]

[Ill.u.s.tration: ----and how he did use it.]

[Ill.u.s.tration: What It Really Feels Like.

To be on patrol duty at night-time.]

[Ill.u.s.tration: "The same old moon."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: "My dream for years to come."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: Coiffure in the Trenches.

"Keep yer 'ead still, or I'll 'ave yer blinkin' ear off."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: Another Maxim Maxim.

"Machine guns form a valuable support for infantry."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: Our Democratic Army.

Member of Navvies' Battalion (to Colonel): "I say, yer mate's dropped 'is cane."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: Five days leave! Taxi!]

[Ill.u.s.tration: Never Again!

"In future I snipe from the ground."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: Thoroughness.

"What time shall I call you in the morning, sir?"

(Colonel Chutney, V.C., home on short leave, decides to keep in touch with dug-out life.)]