HE.--"Well, a feller must _dine_, you know!"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: FEMININE PERVERSITY

SHE-GOSSIP (_alluding to newly-wedded pair_).--"There go 'Beauty and the Beast,' as they are called! She _would_ marry him. Her parents strongly opposed the match, as you may imagine."

HE-GOSSIP (_who flatters himself that he understands the s.e.x_).--"By George! The parental opposition must have been strong to make her marry such a ruffian as that!"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: CONSOLATION

DE SNOOKKE.--"There goes Mrs. _Gatherum_! She never asks _me_ to her parties! I suppose I am not _swell_ enough!"

SYMPATHETIC LADY-FRIEND.--"Oh, it can't be _that_! One meets the most rowdy people in London there."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: CAPTAIN LELONGBOW

CAPTAIN LELONGBOW (_a fascinating but most inveterate romancer about his own exploits_).--"Who's your favorite hero in _fiction_, Miss Vera?"

MISS VERA.--"_You_ are!"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: aeSTHETICS

MRS. VAN TROMP.--"Oh, Sir Charles! Modern English male attire is _too_ hideous. Just look round ... there are only two decently dressed men in the room!"

SIR CHARLES.--"Indeed! And which are _they_, may I ask?"

MRS. VAN TROMP.--"Well, I don't know _who_ they are, exactly; but just now one seems to be offering the other a cup of tea."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: AN ACCOMMODATION

VOCALIST (_to fair Stranger_).--"A--I'm going to sing '_Fain would I clasp thee closer, love_!' May I look at you while I am singing?"

FAIR STRANGER.-"Oh, certainly! Or at my grandmother."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: "SVENGALI!... SVENGALI!... SVENGALI!"]