Danny's voice boomed in the background. "Hands. First warning."

s.h.i.t. I dropped her hand and grabbed the armrest, trying to show that I was complying.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Danny settled on his stool and nodded to Krista. "Finish this up."

She put a knee on either side of my hips. f.u.c.k. She was so close, if I leaned in, I could kiss her. I'd never seen her so intense, staring at me with big, scared eyes. I kept my hands in check and she started to grind. Slowly, she slid her black dress up and over her head until there was nothing between us but her black thong.

Her p.u.s.s.y slid against my c.o.c.k and my brain started to short-circuit. I couldn't get sidetracked. I had to tell her.

"Once I heard that you were a wh.o.r.e, I had blinders on. I didn't see anything else except the job. You're more than that. You're a good person and a good mom. I was a big f.u.c.king a.s.shole and I'm sorry as h.e.l.l."

She leaned over and I felt her wet cheek against mine. "Thank you."

Then she slid against my d.i.c.k and I nearly lost myself. If we kept going like this, the bouncer was gonna haul me out. I had to end this. I was here to talk and that was it.

I raised my hands and touched her hips. Just a light caress, but it was enough.

The lights came on and the whole world changed.

Krista straightened and stepped away. She tugged her dress back into place. "Is that all you have to say?"

Her makeup was smeared; black tracks ran down her cheeks.

I reached out to wipe away her tears. There was a lot more to say. I love you. This is crazy, we just met a few days ago, but I think I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

I opened my mouth to say it all, but Danny grabbed Krista's arm. "No touching. This is over."

Danny escorted Krista out of the room and locked the door. He left me to cool my heels in the G.o.d-awful lap dance room while I pounded on the door. "Let me out!"

After a few minutes, the bouncer came back and apologized. "Sorry, man. I gotta let the girls go backstage first before letting you out. Make sure you don't grab her in the hall and s.h.i.t." He shrugged.

Then he hustled me out the back door to the parking lot. I was glad to be out of there. The cold air was sharp in my lungs after the stifling room I was locked in.

Two uniformed officers stepped out of the darkness, walking straight toward me. s.h.i.t. I put my hands out in front of me to show that I had no weapons, but one cop grabbed my shoulder and slammed me into the side of the building. They had me spread eagle and handcuffed in less than ten seconds.

"The elusive Berdoo," one of them growled as he stuffed me into the squad car that was parked in the shadows. "We've been looking for you for a while. Seems you a.s.saulted a man in an apartment complex a few days ago. Funny, someone from Demon Horde shows up in our town and an innocent person gets hurt."

f.u.c.k. Robby.

I wanted to say something, defend myself. But I had been arrested enough times to know that would get me nowhere. Best to keep your mouth shut and let your lawyer do the talking.

I cooperated through booking and fingerprinting. Pacing the holding cell, I barely thought about the bulls.h.i.t a.s.sault charge. I needed to get to Krista, needed to tell her I loved her. I had done a s.h.i.t-a.s.s job of it tonight. I couldn't even get the words out.

The more I paced, the smaller the cell became. I could feel the sweat sliding down between my shoulder blades. I needed to talk to Krista. Too many times I had said the wrong thing, or not said anything at all. She had to be waiting for me and I wasn't gonna f.u.c.king show up.

I'd lost track of time, but it was well past lunch when a man walked up to my cell. He wore a rumpled shirt and a cheap tie. Either a public defender or a plainclothes cop of some kind. He said nothing, just waited until the corridor was clear.

"I got a call from Tate." He took out a set of keys. Cop then, not a lawyer. "Lucky they put you on this side where nothing is electronic yet."

I crossed over to door and waited for him to open it. "Do I owe you anything?"

The man shook his head. "Naw, Tate took care of it. Look, I got the charges dropped, but California is going to be notified that you were up here. You probably got a few days before they process the paperwork, but leaving the state is a parole violation."

s.h.i.t. I nodded. At least I was out.

I needed to find Krista.

Chapter Thirty-One.

Krista Colt apologized last night, and it was nice to hear. But there was no discussion of a future. No dates or dinner. There wasn't even a "see ya later." I stayed up half the night at my apartment, waiting for him to come by, but he didn't. All night long, I imagined promises, flowers, romantic kisses. Around six in the morning, I gave up and went to bed. The dream was over.

I needed money fast, and waitressing at Jiggles wouldn't get me the kind of cash I needed in time to pay my landlord. I needed a big influx of cash, now. I sighed. There was only one way to do that-turning tricks.

I dropped Becky at Senora Lopez's apartment and headed over to the club.

After three hours of walking around in my d.a.m.n high heels, I was tired and still broke. I'd s.l.u.tted up in my white bustier, platform shoes and little nurse's cap, but not a single guy had grabbed my a.s.s all evening. d.a.m.n. No one wanted to hire me. It's hard not to notice when an entire room full of men gives you the cold shoulder. I'm sure they all thought Colt would bust things up and they would end up with a nice case of blue b.a.l.l.s just like Russ did.

I decided to take a break, check my makeup and get out of these shoes for a minute. I trudged up the stairs in my heels. Once the guys were in chapel, I would head over to Jiggles. Maybe my slumlord would accept a partial payment instead of throwing me out completely.

"Hey." Rip nodded to me in the hall.

I smiled. "Hi, Rip." I traced a finger down his chest. "You want a date tonight?"

Rip's eyes widened. "What? Are you kidding?" He looked downstairs and back up at me. "Holy s.h.i.t, Krista. Did you ask any of the guys downstairs if they wanted a date?"

I nodded. "Yeah. It's my job and I need to make rent."

Rip grabbed my arm. "They all turned you down because you belong to Colt."

I knew it. I shrugged off his hand. "Someone needs to tell him that. I'm the only one who is in love. If he wanted me, he would have shown up last night."

I kicked off my shoes and ran downstairs. I couldn't believe I just poured my heart out to Rip. He was probably going to tell everyone and then they would know that I was a stupid lovesick hooker. Colt loving me was just a fantasy. It would never be anything more.

Downstairs, I sulked behind the bar and cursed Rip in my head. Giving me false hope was just cruel. I squared my shoulders. I needed money, time to get this party started. A little liquor would liven up this crew. The club supplied the alcohol, so members drank for free. Prospects and hang-arounds had to pay. Because there was a meeting later, it was all members tonight, so free drinks for all. I poured ten tequila shots and loaded them on a tray.

Once the shots were flowing freely, the guys settled down and relaxed a little. They talked and I tried not to listen. A wh.o.r.e doesn't last long at a motorcycle club if she listens too closely or tells tales. So I let the conversation just wash over me as I flirted.

Still no takers. s.h.i.t. It was getting late and it was becoming d.a.m.n clear I wasn't gonna get any business, at least not before church. I gave up and went behind the bar. There were a ton of shot gla.s.ses piled in the sink.

"Hey, baby." I knew that voice-it sounded like too much whiskey and cigarettes. Bear. He leaned over the bar and grinned at me.

He liked things a little rough. He paid extra for it, but he still wasn't my favorite customer. Of course, the upcharge for the smacks would go a long way to paying my bills.

The morning I spent with Colt was so close, but so far away. I wanted to recapture that moment, feel beautiful, cherished. Tomorrow morning, I would wake up hurting and sore. But my rent would be paid.

"One on the rocks."

He grinned and licked his lips as I poured his drink. I'd turned him down after that first time. But tonight he knew I would be willing, he could smell my desperation. I wouldn't feel cherished tonight; I was going to be used.

"Why don't you have one with me?" he rasped.

I didn't drink on the job, but I was going to need the courage to sleep with Bear. Being drunk would also make my body looser. I would hurt less in the morning. I shuddered. I didn't even try to cover up my revulsion-it's what got him off. I sucked down a double of Patrn.

After tonight, I'd have most of the rent. I could do this.

"I haven't seen you at all lately. Have you missed me?"

I smiled and scooted closer to him. The usual dance I did with my customers. "I always miss you."

We made small talk about nothing for a while.

"So, you want to go somewhere private after church?" He squeezed the top of my thigh, just hard enough that it hurt a little. Not hard enough that I could say anything, but just enough for me to wince. Bear always pushed my limits, made me go a little bit further than I wanted.

"Yeah, um, sure. There's an open guest room tonight."

Bear didn't live at the club. Since we only had room for six residents, I tried to use one of the guest rooms whenever a guy was interested. If the rooms were both full from visiting bikers, then we used an office in the back.

We talked a little bit more and negotiated a price. His hand touched my spine and traveled down my back. My goose b.u.mps weren't from excitement; they were from fear, and he knew it. But I needed the money. I tried not to lean away from him, but I couldn't help it.

"Get your hands off her."

The words weren't said, but rather growled. It was Colt-no one else would give a s.h.i.t enough to say that. I didn't bother to turn. He wasn't interested in me; he just didn't want Bear pawing at his possession.

Bear grinned at me and turned to face Colt. The entire room had gone quiet, of course. The guys all wanted to see what happened. At least I wasn't naked and tied up this time.

"Hey, man, Krista makes her own choices." Bear put his arm around me and clutched me to his side.

He was right, I made my own choices. I had to protect myself. My love for Colt was gonna bring me and my daughter to ruin. I had to do this.

"I've got a date with Bear after church, but I have time now." I moved to get off the barstool, but Bear held me in place.

"No, I want all night."

I looked to Colt. He wasn't focused on me, but rather on Bear.

"Let her go, Bear. It's her choice." That was a new voice, Rip.

Skeet walked in and looked around, confused. He must have sensed something was going down because he stood behind Colt.

Bear's grip released. He knew when he was beat. I stumbled as he pushed me off the chair toward Colt.

"You're claiming the s.k.a.n.k for your old lady then?"

My heart squeezed, like someone tried to strangle me from within. Thanks to Bear's push, I was now standing between them. Between my old life and the man I wanted. Yes. I wanted him to say yes. I wanted him to realize that I didn't lie to him. Then he could claim me as his old lady, in front of everyone. We could live happily ever after.

I waited, my entire body tensed while I waited for his response.

Colt's voice was hard to hear, just above a whisper. "Go wait in my room, Krista."

I recoiled and jumped back, as though he'd slapped me. He didn't do it. He didn't claim me. Maybe he wanted me for his personal wh.o.r.e? Who knew. It didn't matter now. This was his last chance, and he just blew it.

Bear laughed. "You f.u.c.king p.u.s.s.y. Can't say the words, can you?"

Colt didn't say a thing. He didn't claim me. I was now just another joke.

Bear and Colt each took off their cuts. I backed away from both of them. He and Bear could pound each other into the ground for all I cared.

A loud whistle cracked the air. Tate.

"Krista, upstairs. Everyone else, you're f.u.c.king late for church."

It wasn't the first time I'd been ordered upstairs. The Kings weren't always one big happy family, and if there was trouble, I certainly didn't want to be around.

The guys dispersed and filed down the hall for church. Rip was right. It was my choice. I could wait around for a man who didn't want me, or I could go f.u.c.k Bear and cement my role as motorcycle club wh.o.r.e.

Or I could do neither.

It was my choice.

Chapter Thirty-Two.

Colt Church with the Storm Kings was a test of my nerves. I cracked my knuckles and stared at the ceiling. If I looked at Bear, I was gonna f.u.c.king pound him. If I lit into Bear the way I was itching to do, my credibility with the Kings would be shot. With that kind of s.h.i.tty behavior, I wouldn't convince a single person to join the Horde and I'd be f.u.c.ked.

The minute I got out of jail, I'd hauled a.s.s to Krista's apartment. Empty. Then I went to the clubhouse and walked into a f.u.c.king nightmare. I knew what she wanted me to say. I f.u.c.king wanted to say it too, but I just couldn't.

I'd thought about taking Krista and Becky back to California with me, but when the moment came for me to actually commit, in front of everyone, I froze. It was like agreeing to put a noose around my neck that got tighter and tighter. Instead of owning up to it like a man, I took the f.u.c.king coward's way out and told her to go to my room. Like she was a f.u.c.king wh.o.r.e.

My fingernails dug into my palms as Bear reported in on the trip to Portland to deliver the vehicles from the import operation, and Tate reported to everyone else about the casino's earnings. Just another day. After an hour of idle chat, I was ready to gnaw the meat off my leg to escape. I had more important s.h.i.t to do than listen to the earnings of a bunch of slot machines. Tate was at the top of my s.h.i.t list for telling me Krista was a bartender and leaving out the details about her side business. I also had to tell him about Bear and Robby.

Once that s.h.i.t was done, I needed to find Krista. She at least deserved an explanation about what a G.o.dd.a.m.n coward I was.

After the meeting, the other guys filed out, and Tate, Skeeter, and I sat alone in the chapel.

"You need me in here for this?" Bear was standing in the doorway. s.h.i.t. I had forgotten he was still the de facto VP and should be included on any serious discussions.