Robby started rattling off a list of names. Sounded like Bear had quite the sharking operation. When Robby started to repeat himself, I stopped him.

"How much do you owe Krista?"

"Five grand."

No wonder she was ready to kill the f.u.c.ker. Krista operated on a tight budget and losing five grand was probably going to kill her. Unless that five large was her part from what she skimmed from the shipments. f.u.c.k. I wished I knew one way or another.

"Does she give out loans too? Like Bear?"

Robby shook his head. "No way, man, I took it from her. She ain't in that stuff. I gave the cash to Bear. I only got a thousand left to go."

I grabbed his hair and yanked his head back so he was looking at me. Pressing the gun back to his temple, I stared at him. "Where's the money you stole from Krista?"

"Three hundred bucks, right pocket. That's all I got left. I gave Bear four large and smoked the rest."

Controlling my gag reflex was hard as I dug through the guy's pocket. At least he wasn't carrying any needles on him. The three hundred bucks was wadded up in twenties. I stuffed the money in my pocket and let him collapse on the gra.s.s.

"Stay out of her life."

Roughing up a junkie wasn't gonna get much action from the cops, but killing one would. I kicked him in the kidneys a couple of times to make sure he understood my message and we took off.

I didn't get her money back, but it was a start. Maybe I could earn her respect.

s.h.i.t. When had Krista's approval come before the club? I'd found her money and I had discovered Bear's betrayal. What was more important?

Chapter Twenty-Nine.

Krista I fled the club as soon as Colt and Skeeter took off. Robby had stolen my cash, but he wasn't really my problem. Colt was my problem. I was in love with the a.s.shole. We'd gone too d.a.m.n far and there was no turning back. I was done being a wh.o.r.e. No more s.e.x for cash. Nothing less than love.

There were other men in the world. There were other guys who would make me laugh and snuggle on the couch and play with my kid and give me amazing o.r.g.a.s.ms. Right? I could find love with someone else. But right now I needed to focus on finding a d.a.m.n job.

My car rattled through Jiggles's parking lot. I was just going to take a chance that Janice had a waitress position open for me. Once I found a spot between the potholes and broken dreams, I adjusted my bustier. I might be broke now, but I wasn't going to be for long. f.u.c.k Colt and the stupid motorcycle club. I didn't need their hypocrisy. I was good enough to f.u.c.k them, but not for them to care about me? I didn't need their s.h.i.t. What I needed right now was some cash.

During my break, I counted my tips behind the bar. A hundred bucks. Not bad for slinging drinks for two hours. But I wasn't gonna make rent.

Janice came up behind me as I was counting out the cash. "Krista, honey, what happened with Colt?"

I stuffed the bills in my ap.r.o.n and turned around to face her. The night was taking its toll. "He didn't know I was a wh.o.r.e."

The last word ended in a hitch. I almost didn't get it out. So much for not caring about Colt. Janice gave me a tight hug.

"I thought he was the one, ya know?" I tried to stop the tears so I wouldn't dislodge my fake eyelashes, but I couldn't.

Janice gave me another hug. "Tell me. I'm not going to let you go until you tell me."

I told her everything. What happened at my apartment and then what happened later at the club.

"Oh, Krista, honey, he still wants you." Janice rubbed my arm. "You just need to give him a little time to get used to the idea is all. He was just a little surprised."

I did a double take. "What? He tells me I'm not good enough for him and then he walks away. Isn't that bad enough? You want me to give him time? Time for what? More humiliation?"

"Time to see that you're more than just the wh.o.r.e. He loved you before and still loves you now. He's just getting used to the idea that there's aspects of your life he didn't know about. All relationships take a little bit of work."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The queen of wh.o.r.es was telling me to give him another chance?

"Sorry, Janice, but it's not like you're in a f.u.c.king relationship. How do you know if I should give him time? The only thing that's gonna happen is that he's gonna make me feel even worse. I can't give him time-I need to pay my rent and I can't do that now."

"All right, honey." Janice gave me another squeeze. "Just serve drinks tonight, okay? Then after that we can talk about b.l.o.w. .j.o.bs and dances."

"That's just it-I'm done with b.l.o.w. .j.o.bs and dances." I wiped at the mud of makeup now caked to my cheeks. "I would be cheating on him."

Turning a trick with another guy felt like cheating on Colt. Or maybe I felt like I was just betraying the memory of what we had together? Both, probably. I was betraying him and me. Like somehow every time I had s.e.x from this point forward, I would compare it to that night and die just a little.

I had just experienced grown-up s.e.x for the first time in my life. It's crazy to think that you can be a virgin and a hooker, but I was. I'd never felt that level of l.u.s.t, arousal, whatever before. My p.u.s.s.y had f.u.c.king wept all over my couch so that I could still smell it when I sat down. I realized something: I'd never really had an o.r.g.a.s.m before that night. Yeah, I'd gotten off, but a life-changing, earth-shattering o.r.g.a.s.m? Colt was my first.

I pulled myself together and headed for the bathroom. I needed to get cleaned up-a group of businessmen had just walked in and they would want their drinks. I may not be able to give b.l.o.w. .j.o.bs, but I could sling beers and martinis.

After taking their orders, I went back behind the bar to start mixing.

"So, things must not have worked out with your man. I mean, if you're working here and all." Asia, the hooker Colt had f.u.c.ked under my nose, was right next to me, overpouring a whiskey sour for one of her regulars.

I handed her a jigger. "He's never been my man."

She shrugged. "I think he is. He couldn't get it up, ya know? He blamed it on too much whiskey, but it was his head. He was thinking about you. Anyway, he let me crash in his bed."

I put a lime garnish on my vodka soda and looked at her. The same tangled brown hair, pinched nose. What was her angle? G.o.d, I hoped she was lying, because if she was telling the truth, it would hurt more.

"Why are you saying this?"

"Look, you don't have to believe me, but I thought you'd like to know. Just don't tell anyone, okay? He paid me a lot to keep it quiet."

Asia grabbed her tray and went back over to her table. One man, suit jacket, tie. He smiled up at her as she set down his drink. It was affectionate, almost intimate the way they looked at each other. Was Asia acting? Was she just using him or did she really love him? It was impossible to tell.

I loaded my drinks onto a tray and went back to my table. Time to make some tips.

Chapter Thirty.

Colt The strip joint's parking lot was gonna kill my d.a.m.n tires. Potholes filled with gallons of rain and huge chunks of gravel were surefire ways to pop holes in your tread. d.a.m.n. The asphalt wasn't the only thing in disrepair. The neon sign was missing a few letters-Jiges or something. It was your typical squat, windowless building.

I hung my helmet on the handlebars. The last place I wanted to be was surrounded by a bunch of strippers. Thanks to my time with Krista, I would always be wondering which one of them had kids at home, or who was really trying to make it through school. Krista made me see so much more.

All I wanted to do tonight was find her and give her back her money. Unfortunately, I had nowhere to look. After shaking down Robby, I rode straight over to her place. She wasn't home. Figuring she was still at the club, I went there. Nothing. I waited for her at the bar until Skeeter found me. He called up Rip and Russ and the three of them dragged me to the strip joint.

"Hurry up, man, the ladies ain't gonna wait all night." Skeeter grinned.

I parked my bike with the other guys and we headed inside. Fake red velvet carpeting was everywhere-the floor, the walls. The parts of the walls that weren't carpeted had dark, smoky mirrors.

Skeeter, Rip, Russ and I sat down at a table and ordered a round of whiskey. There were three stages, but two were dark. I guess Tuesdays weren't exactly popular nights. The lights darkened and a redhead in a ma.s.sive beehive wig and gla.s.ses walked out on the stage. The DJ turned on something from Motown and she started to do her walk about the pole. The woman was hot, there was no denying it, but the only one I wanted was Krista. I needed some air.

I leaned over to get up, but a heavy hand on my shoulder held me in place.

"Hi, boys. Any special requests this evening? I aim to please."

A thin blonde woman pulled up a chair and sat down next to me. She wore a short blue sequined dress. The neckline dropped so low that I was surprised her belly b.u.t.ton didn't show. She was a little older than most strippers I'd met, but somehow her age didn't mar her beauty.

She tossed her blond hair over one shoulder. "So, Skeeter, why don't you introduce me to your friends?"

Skeeter squirmed in his seat, uncomfortable that she had outed him as a regular, but he made the introductions. The woman was Janice. She had to be the one who called Tate on my first night here. Krista's neighbor.

Janice trailed a finger down my neck. "See anything you like?"

She looked over to a dark booth with three college students. A waitress serving drinks bent over so far her t.i.ts almost fell out of her lace-up top. Holy s.h.i.t. I recognized those b.r.e.a.s.t.s, those amazing, bouncy b.r.e.a.s.t.s. The waitress was Krista.

She laughed and flirted with the group of kids. Her top threatened to give way every time she dipped to serve a drink. I wanted to grab her drink tray and bash every one of the b.a.s.t.a.r.ds over the head, and then maybe cover her up in a big, thick blanket.

"I thought you might like her." Janice's voice was hot against my ear, and she moved her palm from my chest down to my crotch.

When she closed her fingers around my c.o.c.k, I protested, "Move your hand."

I couldn't believe I was telling a woman to stop grabbing my d.i.c.k, but I was hard from watching Krista work. Her gorgeous a.s.s swung from side to side as she went back for another round.

Janice moved to the chair next to me and rubbed my d.i.c.k again. "You know, she only serves. Nothing in the champagne room, but for you, I can ask her if she wants to make an exception."

My options were limited. I could meet her at her apartment after work, but that required a lot of willpower not to drag her back into bed. Or I could wait until she got off work and talk to her in a back alley. Compared to my immediate choices, the back room of a strip club didn't sound so bad. At least there would be no haunting memories from the time before, when I had been a colossal a.s.shole.

"You want her natural, baby? Or do you have a deep, dark fantasy?"

"My only fantasy is for you to get your hand off my c.o.c.k, lady." I moved her hand away and tore my eyes off Krista. "Look, I just want to talk to her, in private. Okay? Nothing else."

Janice grinned. She was a predator, a jaguar in the jungle, and I was the baby monkey with an injured leg. Easy pickings.

Hips swinging, Janice strutted across the dance floor and whispered something in Krista's ear. They disappeared behind a curtain in the back. I wondered if I should follow or wait for them to return. There were a couple nasty-looking bouncers at the door and I figured they wouldn't take kindly to me following the girls behind a curtain, so I stayed put.

The guys ordered a round of lap dances, and three girls came over and started their grind jobs. I sat with my eyes fixed on the backstage door, waiting for either Krista or the jaguar to come back.

"You want me to bring two doubles this time, baby?" The waitress was asking about my drink. s.h.i.t, how many did I drink already? Nerves always made me lose track.

"No more whiskey, okay? Just some water."

She raised her eyebrows and shrugged. No one ever ordered water at strip clubs.

What the h.e.l.l was going on backstage? I downed two bottles of water before the jaguar came back.

"She'll do a private dance in room two." She grinned, showing off a perfect set of manflesh-eating teeth. "Why don't you come with me?"

Janice settled me in a small room lined with the red carpet. There was a big chair in the middle. Lots of armrests and k.n.o.bs for the girls to hold on to while they danced. s.h.i.t.

A huge bouncer stood by the door. He wasn't tall, but he was wide, his skin dark brown. We sized each other up. The best time of his life was when he played ball in high school, defensive line, probably. He looked tough, but he'd gone soft since his glory days and wouldn't be much help if a girl actually got attacked. One hit to the knees to put him on the ground and a hold around his neck to cut off what little airflow he had was all it would take. I nodded to him respectfully to let him know I wouldn't be trouble, and I sat in the chair.

Someone whispered in the hall. It was like two people were trying to have an argument at low decibels. Then, the door opened and Krista was pushed through. She whispered something that sounded a lot like "f.u.c.k you" to the person in the hall, but then she turned back and faced me.

All expression drained from her face as she recognized me. d.a.m.n. This was a very bad idea.

"Look, you don't need to give me a lap dance." I held up both of my hands. "I'm just here to talk." I stood up from the chair. It was seemed wrong to tell my girl I was sorry while sitting in a lap dance throne.

The bouncer took a few steps away from his post by the door. "This room ain't for conversation. No dance, no room. If she ain't gonna dance, then you gotta go back out on the floor."

Krista looked between the two of us and put her hand on the black guy's arm. "Okay, I'll give him a dance. Can you just wait outside, Danny?"

The bouncer shook his head. "You know the rules."

Danny the washed-up linebacker watching my girl give me a dance in the club where she worked was my own definition of h.e.l.l.

"No." I moved toward the door, careful not to touch her. I didn't want bad blood with Danny. "I'll just talk to you after your shift. Okay?"

Krista grabbed my cut as I headed toward the door. "Look, I'm sure what you have to say won't take long. And, well, I'm not very good at this. So let's just make it fast, okay?"

She gave me a little push back toward the chair. I knew this was going to go bad, I f.u.c.king knew it, but I needed to talk to her. I sat.

She stood in front of me and rubbed her hands up and down her body. As far as stripper moves go, it was pretty tame. But Krista had a fantastic body and, well, it was Krista. My hard-on was back with a vengeance. I tried desperately to remember why I was there.

"You had something to say?" She stopped rubbing and looked at me. I was supposed to be talking.

"Um, right. I wanted to say I'm sorry for the other day."

She had changed outfits and wasn't wearing her bustier anymore. Now she had on a black dress, but with the fancy old-fashioned thigh highs with back seams. Placing one foot right in front of my crotch, she leaned over and started to roll one of her stockings down. She caressed her own leg as she went. I wondered if it turned her on.

"You'd better start talking or this comes to an end real fast." She whispered it, but I could hear her anger.

I swallowed. s.h.i.t. Her nipples were peeking over the neckline of her dress.

"I'm sorry I treated you like s.h.i.t when I found out you were a hooker and you didn't deserve it."

She stepped back and straightened, as if she needed to put distance between us. That was the last thing I wanted. I reached out and touched her hand.