My life had changed so quickly; from being a normal teenager, going to school, practicing for my big ballet recital, to losing my family, then my first true love, all while discovering the existence of monsters.

Perhaps that was it. Perhaps it wasn't the calm quiet that had my gut churning. Perhaps it was the monster called truth-the knowing in my heart that tonight, on the last stroke of midnight, the part of me that wouldn't believe David was gone would turn, look up at the clock tower on the chamber building and hope he'd tap me on the shoulder and ask me to dance. But it was only a hope. Both me and myself knew he wouldn't show.

Vicki looked over, shaking her head. "Ara, dear, you should be inside doing your makeup."

I sighed, tuning my guitar. "I don't need makeup under a mask, Vicki."

"Of course you do. It'll-"

But I fazed her out, strumming random chords while the representation of my confused brain paced around in my head, calling himself Holmes. Nothing really made sense anymore. When things happen in life, after time passes, I could usually always see some reason, some lesson I needed to learn from it. But losing my mum, moving here to meet my first true love, then losing him, too, made no sense at all. It all just seemed pointless.

I dropped my fingers from their position on the strings, letting the song die without a name. The whole world seemed pointless. But I couldn't let my mind wander that path; the trying-to-find-meanings-or-reasons-for-life path. Every time I walked that road, I came to the same conclusions, leaving that train of thought with nothing more than a large suitcase of frustration. Perhaps we were here to love, or to experience many trials-or maybe even to feel. I didn't know. Pain was the only one that even touched the reality of living. So, maybe the meaning of life was to cram as much pain and heartache as we could into the puny timeline of our miserable existence.

Satisfied with that dismal conclusion, I started playing again, watching through the window as Dad and Mike played chess. It was like looking across the waters of reflection, reading the story of my life; two elements of my past-from different worlds-coming together in battle. They moved in slow motion; Mike rolling his head back, laughing at Dad's witty move; Dad coughing into his hand at Mike's reaction. And it occurred to me then, as I watched their hands meet in the offer of peace, that this was it. That was my Dad and my fiance. There would be no more boys for me. Mike would be my first-and my last. A chapter of my life had ended before it even began.

Perhaps that's why my dad liked Mike so much; he'd never have to worry about me ending up with a loser-or alone. But that didn't save me from eternal loneliness.

Losing my soul to the calm whisper of the breeze and the warm September sun, I hummed softly, singing a few of the words to a song-one that made my soul ache to hear, but to play, only seemed to bring clarity. "I wish I could see you, but you went away; you left me defenceless, in the cold and the rain. I found my way home, and the world was all right, 'til the darkness came, and took my knight.

"When I look in the mirror, the face that I see, wears the scars of her past well, but she isn't me. I lost myself somewhere, when I walked to the light. For the darkness came and took my knight."

The melody rang in my ears, forcing a tiny, stinging tear to the corner of my eye. I never cared much for the words before, but today, it seemed they were written just for me.

By my foot, a grey fluff-ball meowed, forcing his spine against my ankle. "Feel like flying up into a tree, Skitz?" I joked with a weak smile as I placed the guitar on the ground and let my heart sink down with it.

The cat looked up at me, his big, yellow eyes soft and round.

"Okay." I chuckled lightly. "Maybe I like you a little."

"I should hope you like me a lot-since you're marrying me."

"Hey, Mike? Did you win?"

"Nah." He placed his hand down on the grass, the rest of his body sinking into it. Skittles leaped onto his front paws, ready to run if Mike was a threat, but then just closed his eyes, without re-adjusting his position, and started purring. Mike laughed at him. "Your dad's too quick. He beat me twice."

"He never beat my mum, you know? Not once," I said.

"Yeah? I didn't know that."

I nodded.

"You're not upstairs putting on your war paint?"

His soft tone provoked my tears; I forced them back with a shrug. "It won't take long once I start."

"Hm." He picked a strand of grass and curled it around his finger.

"What's hm?"

"Are you sure you want to do this, baby? It's not too late to change your mind."

"Change my mind? About what?"

Mike pushed up off the ground, shuffling over to kneel in front of me. "You don't have to marry me. I'll be okay if you say no."

"Why would you think I don't want to marry you?"

A watery glaze glimmered under the light of the sun in his eyes. "Since I asked you, you haven't been happy. Not really."

"I'm trying, Mike."

"I know. But is trying enough, Ara? Am I enough?" The pain in his words came through with the firm clasp of his fingers around my hips. Mike was scared-I could feel it. He had as much to lose here as I did. I mean, was love enough for this relationship to work, when it wasn't enough for David and I?

"I just need to get away from here, I think, Mike." My voice trembled. "I wanna go home."

"Ara. Baby." He pulled the swing into him, wrapping me up in his arms. "That's fine. We'll go. We'll leave tomorrow, if you like?"

"I would-but, I think we better plan it properly first." I flashed him a grin, which he returned.

"Oh, baby girl. You're gonna be so happy. I promise. I'll buy you a house and give you everything you want." He squeezed me way too tight, forcing me to hold my breath against the base of his jaw. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Mike."

And that was the truth. It felt good. Normal.

I knew I should be with Mike, should go home to Perth-and everything would be right again in the world.

The quiet whispers of my family lilted up the stairs, carrying my mind back from the hold of a masked stranger's gaze. Her blue eyes stared out at me from a place and time I no longer belonged. She was the lie after the truth, hiding behind this beauty in a blue dress. And I couldn't stand the sight of her.

Somewhere, at some point, I'd split in two. The innocent, dream-believing girl that tragedy left behind disappeared when David ran away with my heart. I was his picture of beauty, created by him, for him, but I'd never feel his cool fingers under the ribbon of my corset, holding me close as we twirled in our graceful, eternal dance. All that was left was the other half of me-the shell. And I'd dusted enough shimmer powder over my skin that I could almost disguise myself as a sparkly vampire. No one could see the depths of my darkness underneath. Except Mike. He knew there was something different-that something had changed. But I bet he never even conceived of the idea that my depression went so deep the fear they all had that I'd top myself was slowly creeping into possibility. I'd overheard him tell my dad he was worried-that I might be depressed. My dad just said it wasn't a possibility; it was a fact, and all we could do was just be here for me. But the ever-watchful eye of my fiance was getting overbearing. When he came to my room earlier, I called him to enter, completely ignorant to the fact that, while I was standing by my mirror, trying to re-pierce my ear, I was only wearing my underwear and bra.

"Hey, kid." He grinned, his eyes falling over my bare curves.

"Mike!" I scrambled for something to cover myself with. "Shut the door! My dad might walk past."

"Relax, baby." He looked behind him, closing the door, then sauntered across the room. "You look gorgeous."

"I look like a girl in her underwear." I leaned in front of the mirror again, forcing the silver stud against the unyielding hole in my earlobe. "I'm just trying to get this damn thing to go in."

"Need help?"

"Nah, I'm fine." I glanced away from the mirror long enough to see his smiling eyes trace my shoulders and ribs, fixing on my blue lace undies.

"New?"

"Yeah, I bought them to match my dress." I slapped his hand off my hip.

"What about this? Have you always had a strapless bra, or is that new too?"

"No. It's new."

"Well, you look very sexy-" his voice dragged, "-a little too sexy for an unmarried girl."

"Stop it." I slapped his hand away again. "I can't concentrate while you keep doing that."

"Here, let me try."

"Okay, but, good luck." I placed the earring in his waiting hand. "I haven't been able to get one in that hole for over a week."

The warmth of his breath touched my neck as he leaned close, stud in fingertips, and fumbled against my earlobe until I heard a small 'pop'. "All done."

"Thanks." I rubbed my ear. It burned a little.

"Is the other one okay?"

"Yeah, it's just this one-it keeps closing. I don't know why."

"Start wearing your earrings and it won't happen."

"I can't. I hate sleeping in them. So?" I leaned my butt on the dresser, rolling my hand in the air. "Did you want something?"

"Oh, um-" He unfolded his arms. "I came to see if you were hungry. I uh, I haven't seen you eat anything today."

"That's because I haven't," I remarked, pushing past him.

"Ara?" he whined. "Why, baby?"

"Because, maybe if I don't eat, I'll die." I flopped backward on my bed with a huff.

"Ara, grow up, you don't mean that." He stood above me, his arms folded.

"No. But I also kinda do."

"Well-" he grabbed my hand and pulled me to sit, "-then you need to get some help, baby. That's not normal."

I forced a smile, tilting my head. "Mike. You worry too much. I'm fine. Really."

"Ara? Sane girls don't say they're trying to starve themselves to death."

"I didn't really mean it-not literally." I stood up. "Now go, let me get dressed or I'll be going to the ball in my underwear." I waved my hands down my body.

"Huh," he scoffed, "you should. You'd be the belle of the ball, Ara."

"Suck up." I opened my door for him.

"Oh, in case I didn't mention it," he said, pecking me on the cheek as he passed, "you look hot like that."

"You might have." I rolled my eyes and shut the door.

The black and white image fused with colour as my mind came back to the present. All around me, night had fallen into complete silence; the crickets hushed, even the voices downstairs-leaving a kind of stillness that left me breathless, listening carefully for any signs of life. When I looked back at the girl in the mirror, my eyes flashed from her pale face to the wiry shadows behind her, the resonance of a familiar gaze lingering in my immediate memory-a reflection from the world I lived in. My head whipped up. I spun around and ran to grasp my windowsill, hope filling my heart as I held back the call of his name on my lips, leaning out into the dusk air.

But below, the quiet street was empty; the streetlamp, spilling circles of white light onto the pavement, flickered a few times, and that same silence I'd come to hate greeted hope and I with a wall of emptiness.

I backed away from the window-away from the absence of anything that resembled life, then turned to my mirror and waited for the girl in the blue dress to look at me again. The face we thought we saw was not David-merely physically manifested wishful thinking; the only thing outside my window was the beginning of another night. And for the rest of my life now, that's all there'd ever be.

I closed my bedroom door and headed down the stairs, seeing my dad's eyes tear up like sudden rain.

"Dad?" I glided down the stairs. "You okay?"

"You look so pretty, honey. Just like your first ballet concert."

"Uh, yeah, well, just don't lift me onto your shoulders this time."

"Why, not? You're still my little girl." He looked up at me where I stopped on the last step.

"I'm not a little girl, Dad."

"Honey, you'll always be my little girl."

"I wonder what's taking Ara so lo-" Mike stopped dead as he walked in; his arms dropped, his lips split into a pearly smile, and his eyes, from behind a small black mask, glistened. "Ara."

"Hey, Mike."

He leaped up onto the step. "Aw, baby, look at you."

"You like it?" I brushed my hands down my hips.

He shook his head slowly, considering my dress. "More than the outfit I saw you in when I re-pierced your ear."

Dad's eyes narrowed; I looked away, clearing my throat.

"Come on then." Vicki held a camera up and waved us off the stairs. "Time for pictures."

"Really?" I groaned, taking Mike's arm.

"Ara, this might be the last ball you ever go to," Vicki reasoned. "I want memories."

"Oh, fine." I huffed, and Mike grinned at me with a kind of enthusiasm that wasn't there when he was forced to escort me to the last ball we went to.

But I didn't share his excitement.

Vicki posed us in awkward and weird places to snap her memories, but the world slowed down around me, and I stood in the warm embrace of my fiance, smiling for reasons I could only pretend I felt, watching everything move as if it were on screen-a film with no volume. The voices, the wind, the laughter, all gone-everything in my world was silent, empty-wrong. This should have been David; it was always supposed to be David, but once upon a time, I'd have said the same about Mike.

Everything was back where it was before-before the universe flipped the hourglass, before I lost everything in my world that grounded my soul, and before I ever knew anything about David Knight.

Now, I was in the arms of the one I was destined to be with all along.

It was an odd learning curve, and a painful one, but I just had to accept it. When I got home, when I landed in Perth and went home to Mike's house, she wouldn't be there-around the corner. Mum was gone. Harry was gone. And I had to move on.