"Mm-hm." She grabbed a tissue from my desk and wiped her nose, nodding. "We dated for the summer and then, when it got cold and the fun of the sunshine disappeared, he just left."

"Left? As in-he moved, or he just didn't come back?"

"Just gone." She stood back, wiping her face again.

"Really? Without a goodbye?"

"Can you hear how fast my heart is beating?" She touched her chest. "That was the first time I've heard his voice in nearly a year."

"So, what, he never even left a note to say where he'd gone?"

"No-that was the worst part. He just didn't show for our date and stopped answering his phone. I asked David if he knew what was going on, but he said his brother was a player-that I'd just been one of his victims."

"Victims? That's a pretty cruel way to put it."

She nodded. "David had a way with words."

We both laughed.

"Yeah, he did," I said. "Actually, he told me his brother was a bit...malevolent. Why would you be with a guy like that, Em? You're gorgeous, you can do better."

She sniffled. "That's just it; he wasn't like that at all. I don't know what David was talking about, but Jason was really sweet."

I smiled. Brotherly love. I guess it was the same as me telling everyone Sam was a troll. He wasn't actually a troll. And I was glad for that-that Jason wasn't...malevolent. I could never picture David's twin being a creepy, stalking vampire. I tried so many times, but putting the face of David on anything cruel just never fit. "So, is it true they're identical?"

She nodded. "Yep. Like, perfectly identical."

"That must've been hard for you then-after Jason left, you know, being friends with David-always seeing his face."

"Not really. They were very different people. David was cute, but he had boundaries you couldn't cross. You could never be, like...relaxed with him."

I shrugged. "I could."

"I get that." She gave a soft, distant smile. "I really do. It was the same with Jason and I. People always seemed to avoid him, you know, and I just didn't see what they saw."

The predator.

"He was gentle and loving and..." She looked at my bed then. "He jumped through my window on the morning of our six-week anniversary and filled my room with frangipanis, waking me up by running one over my face." Her fingers traced the memory over her skin. "I loved him, enough that we talked about growing old together and what we'd name our kids."

"And then winter came."

She nodded. "Yep. Literally."

I wished I could tell her about the Set laws and vampire migration. She probably blamed herself, deep down inside, for making him leave. "Guys do that," I said instead. "Summer flings."

She lifted her hand from the fold of her arms and wiped another tear, nodding. "It just hurt to think we had something special-only to find out it was just a game."

"Is that what you really believe? That he didn't love you?"

"I never used to believe it-never wanted to. But it has to be the case. You don't just walk out on those you love."

I shrugged. "Maybe he was like David-maybe he had secrets, too."

"No. I think they're both just assholes. I mean, how could David just go and leave like that, too? He saw how broken I was when Jason left-he was the one who picked up the pieces. Surely, he must know what he's done. Why couldn't he have just said goodbye-at least to me?"

"Maybe he just thinks it's better this way."

"Better for who?"

I clicked my tongue. "I wish I could fix this, Em. I really do."

She shook her head, looking out the window. "There is no fixing it. There's not even any point. They're gone and we just have to move on."

"Exactly," I said, waving my ring hand in front of her.

She smiled. "I guess I see your point now. But...David still wants you, Ara. I'm sure of it. If I had that choice-with Jason-I would've taken it. No matter what."

"I know." I rubbed her back gently. "Do you think he still thinks about you-Jason?"

Emily stood quietly with her arms folded, her eyes on the dreary day. "I hope so. I think about him from time to time. You never genuinely get over your first love, Ara. This-" She lifted my ring hand. "This will be a long journey for you."

"I know." I nodded. "Trust me, I know."

"Just..." she took a breath, "-if Mike steals you away, takes you back to Oz, will we still be friends?"

"Of course," I said, dragging the word out. "I think we'll always be friends."

"I hope so." She hugged me. "I've never met anyone like you. You're so real, you know, you just, you're honest with who you are."

"You think?" I half groaned.

"Yeah. I mean, you have this weird bad joke thing, you dress how you wanna dress, and you tell it to me straight-you aren't even pretending not to be in love with David, even though you're marrying another man. I think that's really cool."

"Well, thanks, Em."

"So, what does Mike think-about David? Does he know how you feel?"

I nodded. "He's okay with it."

Emily sighed and looked out the window again. "I really don't like him."

"You don't have to like him, Em. I do."

"I know, but, I think that-" she hesitated, "-if he weren't here, you would've gone with David."

"Nup." I shook my head with certainty. "I wouldn't have."

She suppressed a conceited smile and shrugged one shoulder. "I think you would."

As I waved goodbye to Emily, Mike stood behind me with one hand in the small of my back and the other waving. "She hates me," he said as her car disappeared down the street.

"No. She just doesn't understand." I turned and closed the front door. "She thought David and I were a sure thing. And so, all of this-" I held up my ring hand, "-is a little sudden for her."

"I get it. No offence taken. So?" He stood taller and grinned. "Terminator or The Mummy?"

"You choose. I'll get popcorn." I grinned.

Mike walked up the stairs and when the door to his room closed, I headed into the kitchen.

"Hey, Dad."

"Hey, honey." He looked up from his newspaper for a second.

"Any good news?" I asked, opening the pantry.

"No news is the only good news," he scoffed.

I shook my head. "You know, Mum still said that all the time."

"Did she?" he said absently, staring up blankly at the wall.

Poor Dad. With a soft sigh, I walked over to sit on the chair beside him. "How long, Dad? Before you stopped missing her when she left?"

He sniffed once and folded his paper, smoothing it out on the table. "Never."

"Never?"

He looked into my eyes then. "I never stopped missing your mother. Sure, after about ten years or so it got easier to bear, but I still miss her, even now."

"Oh." I looked out the front window.

"I did wrong by her, Ara. I made one stupid mistake and I lost her. But when you love someone, like I loved her, you will always miss them. I try not to think of her if I can."

"But, you love Vicki, right? Doesn't that make it easier?"

He nodded thoughtfully. "That's the only reason I didn't go back and beg your mom to forgive me. I did love Vicki-do love Vicki, I mean," he said with a laugh. "But, I loved your mom, too."

It hurt to hear him speak of her in the past tense like that.

"I don't think you ever truly get over losing someone you love. But, it gets easier after time passes, and you can get through the days without missing them so much," he added, probably in response to my horrified expression. He couldn't know how much I was relating his story to my own experiences with boys. He was the only person I could think of that suffered a loss as great as mine. I needed to know if there was a life after love-after true love. "Is this about David?" he asked.

"A little." I smiled at the table.

"Ara, Mike loves you. He's been trying to ask you to marry him for the last year." Dad cupped his hand over mine. "He was so worried you'd turn him down that he almost asked me to ask you for him."

"Really?"

"Yes, honey. Look, I know you love David, but you loved Mike first-and if you thought you could move on from love once, then there's a good chance you can do it again, right?" He patted my hand.

He was right. It was just going to take some time. But, of course I'd move on-eventually. Nothing ever lasted forever, right? "See? That's why you're a teacher, Dad. The all-knowing." I waved my hands around in the air, then stood up and kissed him on the cheek. "Love you, Dad."

"Ara?"

I turned back to his insistent tone. "Yeah?"

"I uh...I need to talk to you."

"Okay..." I sat back down.

"I received a call today-from Ray Bougerstern."

"Dad!" I slammed my palms on the table and stood up.

"Ara. Sit back down. We need to discuss this."

"Why now?" I felt the blanket of fury wrap my shoulders. "Mike's waiting for me to watch a mo-"

"And he'll wait. You can't keep avoiding this. The insurance policy has cleared the account. I need to know what you want me to do with the money."

My lip quivered as I looked down at my feet. Blood money. The money a company paid out because my mother no longer existed. A consolation. Condolences in the form of green notes. "Keep it. Give it to Sam."

"Ara. Your mother took that policy out so that you could take care of yourself if she were no longer around."

"I can do that without money, Dad!"

"No, you can't," his voice grumbled, peaking above anger. "She's gone, Ara-Rose. She's not coming back, no matter what tortures you inflict on yourself. No amount of your own suffering will change what happened." He reached for my hand; I kept it tight in the fold of my arms, biting my lip. "Honey, just take the money. Use it to start your life. Use it to-"

"You're not going to let this go, are you?"

"I'm sorry. I haven't wanted to bring it up again. I know it's hard for you, but-"

"Just put it in a trust fund," I said finally. "Put it in a high interest account until I turn eighteen or something."

"Thank you," Dad said with a nod.

"I hope you're happy." I spun on my heel and stormed away.

Chapter Thirty-One.

Something about the lazy tone of the day made me edgy. Dad and Mike played chess in the formal dining room, Vicki hung laundry on the clothesline, and Sam stood talking to Mr Warner over the fence. My old companion, the swing, rocked gently under me while I strummed my way through months of painful memories, trying to find some sense in it all.