But both of them saw me losing it and took control, getting me in, getting me buckled and getting us on our way.

Shortly after, I hit a fog then shortly after that, I hit understanding pure and undiluted.

What the fuck was I doing?

If Ty lived for me to see him die, he was still going to fucking die.

My tall, beautiful Ty with his amazing curly, thick lashed, light brown eyes and his fantastic tattoos and his defined muscles and his deep voice calling me "baby" and "mama" was going to die.

What did it matter if I saw him breathe again before he did it?

What did anything matter?

God, why couldn't I have done it even when I tried? Why couldn't I have found my way to nothing mattering before Lady Luck, the stupid fucking bitch, took my fucking Ty?

So I shut down because it didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

Not anymore.

Except I'd be there for the funeral.

So, shut down, I didn't notice it until Julius had already hit the garage door opener to the condo, the door was up and he was pulling in.

Seeing the Snake hit my eyes as we slid in beside her, a new slice traced though the ragged edges of raw leaving agony in its wake and my head, resting on the window, came up.

And I was so out of it, my mind so saturated with sorrow nothing penetrated, it didn't occur to me that there was the Viper, right there, shining, in one piece, without even a scratch.

"What are we doing here?" I asked.

"Need to get somethin'," Julius mumbled.

I looked around, confused.

All this rush, me flying three quarters of a continent to get to Ty's bedside in order to perform my wifely death vigil and we were making a pit stop at Ty's house?

"Julius, I don't mean to sound..." I paused, "but... I..." I hesitated then pulled it together when he turned and looked through the seats at me. "I'd really like to get to Ty," I finished on a whisper.

His eyes went out the side window and he looked at something. Then he looked at Anana. Then he looked at me.

Then, "I won't be a second," was his totally fucking unhinged reply.

I gawked at him.

He threw open his door and folded out of the car.

Anana spoke, "Honey, why don't you go on up with Julius? You gotta use the bathroom?"

Actually, I did.

So, since we were making this fucking ridiculous stop to do whatever the fuck Julius had to do while my husband was dying somewhere close, I'd use this time to visit the bathroom. And during that time, I'd convince myself, after I watched my husband die, the husband I let go, the husband who tracked me down in order to try to win me back, the husband I told to go away, the husband who, the last thing he heard from me was me calling us a nightmare, after I watched that husband die, while I was taking a bathroom break before that happened, I'd convince myself I wouldn't fucking kill Julius.

"Yeah, be back," I muttered, threw open the door, got out and hustled to the door to the utility room, hoping to all that was holy Julius was hustling his tall, massive ass too.

Through the door to the stairs and up them, I saw Julius was standing a few feet from the opening at the top of the stairs and my eyes narrowed on his back as I alighted the stairs and they did this because he was not hustling.

And I heard him say, "Later, you'll get this was the only play I had to make."

I hit the top of the stairs, took three steps in, my eyes unnarrowed and my body froze solid when my eyes hit Ty standing five feet in front of Julius.

Vaguely, I noticed he was frozen solid too; his eyes on me like my eyes were on him.

Well, maybe not the same because I was sure my eyes communicated total, complete, body-rocking, earth-shattering shock that he was standing, breathing, in one piece, wearing faded jeans, a skintight white tee, looking as gorgeous as always and very, very, very healthy.

Healthy.

Alive.

Standing.

Gorgeous.

In one piece.

Breathing.

Ty.

"And baby doll," I heard Julius say but didn't tear my eyes from Ty, "you give it time, beautiful, you'll get it too that this was the only play I had to make."

I watched, stunned, motionless, as Ty's eyes sliced from me to Julius.

"What fuckin' play?" his voice rumbled, so deep, so low, it reverberated against my chest.

Healthy.

Alive.

Standing.

Gorgeous.

In one piece.

Breathing.

Talking (or rumbling).

Ty.

"I told Lexie you got in a car wreck and were dyin' and she needed to come home and say good-bye. She dropped everything, Walk, and here she is. I may be fucked in the head but, to me, that fuckin' says it all." Pause while I continued to stare at my husband then, "Oh yeah, brother, I see you're pissed but it was the only play you two gave me."

I didn't move, didn't speak, just kept staring at Ty even after his angry eyes cut to me and changed from angry to something else altogether.

"Lexie?" he called but I didn't move, didn't speak, just kept staring. "Lex," he said.

I stared at Ty and counted them down.

Eleven.

Eleven hours.

Eleven hours I thought the man standing in front of me, the man I loved was as good as dead and then... then... he just would be.

Dead.

But he wasn't.

He started moving toward me and I came unstuck, backing up and he stopped and growled, "Julius, she's headin' toward the stairs."

I stopped.

I stared.

Healthy.

Alive.

Standing.

Gorgeous.

In one piece.

Breathing.

Ty.

I crumbled to the floor at the same time I dissolved into tears.

"Fuck," I heard Ty clip then I was up, strong arms around me and I heard as well as felt the rumble of the words, "Get outta my fuckin' house."

"Brother "

"Now!"

That was barked.

Then I was going down, ass in his lap, his arms around me, I shoved my face in his neck, my arms went tight around his shoulders, so tight, holding on, I was never, not ever, not fucking ever going to let go and I sobbed into his skin.

His mouth at my ear, he whispered, "Baby, calm down."

I didn't calm down.

Eleven hours I lived with the knowledge of his loss.

It was too much.

I couldn't calm down.

One of his arms got tight and the other hand stroked my back.

"Lexie, baby," he murmured, lips still at my ear, "calm down."

"Ee... ee... eleven hours," I gulped into his neck.

"Come again?"

"Thought you were lost for eleven hours."

His hand stopped stroking and both arms closed tight around me.

"The la... la... last thing I told you wa... was that we were a nightmare."

"Mama, breathe," he whispered.

I sucked in breath and it hitched so many times, the sound was as painful as the hitches actually were, my body bucking violently with each and Ty growled in my ear.

Then he snarled, "I'm gonna fuckin' kill Julius."

My body bucked again as my breath snagged audibly and I pressed closer.

Ty fell to the side and I was holding so tight, I went with him. Then I was on my back on the couch and I felt Ty's long body stretch out beside mine, his heavy leg tangling with mine the instant I straightened them and when I felt his torso press deep to my side and partially over mine, I loosened my arms enough for him to pull back. Then I let my head fall to the couch and I looked at him through watery eyes.

Then my breath hitched and my body bucked again.

"Fuck," he bit off, his hand coming to my face, pulling hair away, wet hair that was sticking to my wet cheeks. "Lexie, baby, you got played. I'm right here."

I nodded. "I know."

Hair gone from both sides of my face, his big, warm hand cupped the right side, his thumb moving over my cheek, sweeping through the wetness as his face got close and I looked into his eyes, still the most beautiful feature I'd seen on any face in my life.

"So," he whispered, "get a handle on it."

And I did.

Two handles actually. Both hands went right to his head and pulled it down to me.

Then I was kissing him.