I dug my key out of my back pocket, put it in the lock, twisted it and walked into my room. The sun was setting but it was still light. When the door closed behind me, I couldn't see anything because the drapes were pulled.

I flipped the switch, took two steps into the room then froze and stared at the bed.

A pile of rolled bills of cash sat in the center of my bed next to four, distinctive-colored boxes.

My eyes darted around the room, half expecting Ty to walk out of the bathroom, pop out from behind a curtain.

The other half, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, was hoping.

He didn't walk out of the bathroom and he certainly didn't pop out from behind a curtain.

And because he didn't, my legs gave out from under me, I sunk again to my ass, shoved my face between my knees and cried fucking more fucking rivers of fucking salt.

Chapter Fifteen.

Eleven Hours Three weeks later...

My cell ringing woke me up.

I rolled, grabbed it from the nightstand, looked at the display and it said, "Ella Calling".

I blinked, groggy, confused, it had to be the middle of the night.

Why was Ella calling?

Shit. This couldn't be good.

I flipped it open and put it to my ear. "Ella, honey, what's up? Is everything okay?"

Silence then, soft, gentle, trembling, "Oh baby."

My heart skipped then stuttered to a halt, I shot up to sitting in the bed, the phone pressed tight to my ear.

"Ella?" I called when she said no more.

Now my voice was trembling.

"Lexie, precious..." she trailed off and again said no more.

"Ella," now my body was trembling, "what's happened? Is it Honey?"

Silence then, so soft it was near a coo, "No, baby, it's Ty."

My body stopped trembling because it had started shaking.

"What's Ty?" I whispered.

I heard her draw in a deep breath then, "Got a call from a man named Julius."

Oh God. Oh no. Oh God no.

"Told me Ty was out in that fancy car of his, goin' too fast..."

Oh God. Oh no. Oh God no!

"Lost control, wasn't wearin' a seatbelt."

He didn't. Ty didn't. I'd nag him and he'd do it but I had to nag him.

Live wild, mama.

I closed my eyes.

Oh God.

Oh no.

Oh fucking God, no.

"Lexie, baby, you there?"

No. No. I wasn't. I wasn't anywhere. I was lost. Totally lost. More lost even than the lost I'd been for a month and a half.

Lost forever.

"Yes," I lied, opening my eyes.

"He... he..." another audible breath, "he's alive, precious, but they say he's not gonna last long. This Julius man said that maybe you'd wanna see him before he... he..." another audible breath while my body shook the bed and my throat burned so bad I knew it would never feel normal again, "passes. But he said there isn't a lot of time."

Suddenly full of energy, I threw back the covers and jumped out of bed. "Where is he?"

"County hospital outside Carnal."

"I'll get the first flight," I announced, glad for the first time I had fifty thousand dollars of my husband's money.

My husband's money.

My husband.

My throat constricted, cutting off my air.

I forced saliva down it and doing it fucking hurt. But it worked; I could again breathe though I was doing it shallowly.

"Did he give you a number?" I asked.

"Yes, baby," she answered.

"Can you..." I grabbed my suitcase and tossed it on the bed. "Can you... will you, when I get my flight, will you talk to him for me?"

I couldn't talk to Julius. I couldn't connect, even over the phone, with anything that belonged to Ty.

I couldn't.

"Anything, Lexie," Ella whispered.

"Thank you, honey," I whispered back then stopped dead, froze and I couldn't stop it, it hit me, no controlling it, it was too strong, the feeling overwhelmed me and the sob tore out of my throat, the sound so loud, it filled the room, reverberating, bouncing back and beating into me like fists.

"Baby," Ella cooed in my ear. "Get your suitcase, get your clothes," she guided me. "Pack. I'll call Bessie. She'll call for tickets. Just get yourself packed. That's all you have to do. Bessie'll take care of you."

Bessie would. She'd been doing it awhile. She would do it forever.

Three good things in my whole, fucking, entire life Bessie, Honey and Ella.

And the fourth was dying in Colorado.

"I'll get packed," I whispered.

"That's my baby," she whispered back. "Now, I'm gonna let you go and call our Bess, yes?"

"Yes," I replied quietly.

"Pack, baby."

"Okay, Ella."

I heard her disconnect. Then I felt it slice through me leaving nothing but raw in its wake.

Then I pulled my shit together and started packing.

One hour later...

"I saw him," Bessie said.

We were in her car on the way to the airport.

"What?" I asked, my mind on other things, my head so full it was aching, about to explode.

"With you on the beach," she went on.

I sucked in breath and stared out the windshield.

Then I whispered, "Bess "

She kept going. "Watched," she whispered. "Watched him with you. Didn't go to you, the way he was..." She cleared her throat. "The way he was with you. I liked it, Lexie."

I closed my eyes, clenched my teeth then opened them and begged, "Stop."

She was silent.

Then she wasn't.

"Thought you took so long to call me for dinner, he was gettin' through to you. You called, I was surprised. All these weeks, kept thinkin' how I could tell you, how I could talk you into "

"Stop."

She stopped.

Then she started again.

"Shoulda talked you into givin' him another shot."

She should have. She should have done that.

But even if she did, I wouldn't have listened.

"Doesn't matter now," I whispered.

"No," she said gently, "doesn't matter now, Lexie."

It didn't matter now.

Nothing mattered now.

She fell silent and kept driving.

Ten hours later...

I'd run the gamut, convincing myself my voice would be the miracle healing elixir that would wake Ty up the minute I whispered in his ear in his hospital bed and set him to healing to knowing by the time my plane touched down at Denver International Airport that he'd be dead by the time I arrived.

I struggled through the stupid, insane, trying process of hauling my ass down a concourse and into a fucking subway to get to the terminal (who ever heard of such ridiculousness, you had to get somewhere, you got there, you didn't need then to get on a fucking train in the fucking ground, hours in the air then you're underground? Insane!) then that fucking train expelled me and what had to be seven thousand other people, I jockeyed for position with them to get to the fucking escalators, I finally got to the terminal and there was Julius and a very beautiful, slim, elegant but highly accessorized (and all of her accessories were pure gold) black woman.

He enfolded me in a hug and informed me gently that Ty was holding on. Then she (her name was Anana) enfolded me in a hug then we waited what felt like a year for my big bag, the only one I had so the one I had to use, to come out at baggage claim and then they led me out to Ty's Cruiser.

I nearly lost it the minute I saw Ty's car, a car we bought together, a car that, upon seeing, irrationally I had the thought I could not set my ass in because it wasn't his, somehow it was ours and I couldn't deal with a reminder of what used to be the beauty of us, an us I threw away. I had to get away from it, run, find a way to go back in time and make the right decision, turn in Ty's arms on the beach, put mine around him and accept back into my life the us he came all the way to Florida to give back to me.