I nodded, also not quite ready to forgive her for doubting me. I glanced back before I reached the refectory and Tonya and Holly were still standing where I left them, deep in conversation. Their stance, their body language, broadcasting to all they were lovers. They'd need to be more careful if they wanted to avoid real trouble, none of us anticipating how soon trouble would come.

Inside Jack and Brian had changed sides, Jack turned with his back to the table looking out the tall window at the lake, Brian leaning over the table-top and talking to Cherri. They looked good, the two men both relaxed and happy. Jack was an inch taller than Brian but narrower across the shoulders. Brian like a cross between rock star and street-fighter. His too-long hair curled around a good-looking face but at some time his nose had been broken and re-set, a good job but it showed. I'd noticed as soon as he came in, but instead of subtracting from his looks it only seemed to add to them.

"All cleared up?" Cherri asked.

I nodded.

"Are they what I think they are?" Jack asked, turning and leaning across the table. He confused me. Less than two hours ago he'd been telling me he had a girlfriend, now sitting here with his big hands so close to mine on the tabletop, heat radiating from them, and it felt like flirting to me.

"What d'you think they are?" Still upset at being accused of something I'd never do, ready to snap at Jack.

"Hey, take it easy." He held his hands up.

Cherri laughed. "Chill, you two. And yes, they are."

I guess they'd been talking while I'd been outside.

Brian shook his head. "What a waste."

"Typical fuckin' man," Cherri said. "Why a waste if they're in love?"

"Hey, only kidding." Brian sat back, leaning away from Cherri, catching the edge in her voice. That edge surprised me too. "I've got nothing against aem if that's the way they are. Nothing at all."

"Do you really play guitar?" Jack asked Cherri. I'm not sure if he was deliberately trying to change the subject, but I was grateful. Somehow we had coupled up as we talked and a gap opened up between me and Cherri.

"Of course I do," Cherri said, looking at Brian.

"Is she any good?" Jack asked me.

I laughed. "I've never heard her play."

"Get your guitar," Brian said. "Let's find out."

Cherri smiled the particular smile she wore when she was enjoying herself, going with the flow, letting her mood lead where it might. She nodded. "Sure. Let's go down the lake."

Something glittered in her eyes and I thought I knew what she had in mind, wondering if I wanted to go along with her not. Everything seemed too soon to me, too fast, but Cherri was never slow. And there remained the still not insignificant matter of Jack's girlfriend.

We ended up sitting on the pebbled beach while the last of the light faded beyond the far ridge and I listened to Cherri play and sing for the first time ever. I think that night I grew out of my stupid infatuation with Cherri, the infatuation turning into something far deeper and primal.

Cherri played a perfect version of Sweet Baby James, finger-style, voice high and clear, a trace of echo coming back from across the lake. When she finished we all clapped and the boys whooped a bit and we listened to the echo some more before Cherri played Born to Run, a different version to the one the Boss did, all choppy chords and a different, hoarse edge to her voice and we whooped some more and Jack put his arm around me and I went stiff but didn't try to move away.

Cherri played some more, looking at Brian as she sang and after a while she put her guitar back in its case and Brian moved closer.

Brian kissed her. Jack didn't kiss me, so I guess the girlfriend was real. Even so I ended up lying on dew damp grass enjoying the way Jack lay warm against me. I kept glancing across at Cherri and Brian, and she didn't seem to mind the way I did, but it was Cherri finally called a halt and said we'd all better get an early night because the morning was going to be chaos.

Cherri and I walked over the bridge and up the slope to the girls' cabins. Cherri slipped her arm through mine and leaned close.

"So, d'you think we're all boyfriended up now, Dan?"

I laughed, uneasy. "I don't think so. Jack told me he's already going out with someone. Sara Mitchell."

"He didn't act like he had a girlfriend."

"That's what he told me."

"He's pretty hot, ain't he?"

"He's okay, I guess."

Cherri laughed. "Okay? Sure. And Brian's a dish. A real dish. He's so strong. I like that sometimes, the feel he could pick me up and run with me. Sometimes that's good."

I slowed and looked at her and she stopped, facing me. Out in the moonlight, just me and Cherri, and I almost kissed her and blew the whole damn summer there and then before managing to stop myself.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

She stared up at me, lips slightly parted. She had loosed her arm from mine but only to drop it against my waist, her fingers warm through my cotton shirt.

"Sure. Sleep well."

"You too."

Still we remained where we were. Cherri moved her thumb, lightly stroking my side. I took a deep breath and Cherri smiled.

"You breath in like that in front of Jack and he's gonna be in love with you, Dan, not some mysterious Sara I never heard of."

"What?" I was confused.

Cherri grinned. "Those boobs need classing as dangerous weapons." She sighed. "Brian's probably real disappointed with mine."

I giggled. "I don't think so."

"You were watching?"

"Duh."

Cherri's teeth showed white in the dark. "He did seem to like aem, didn't he? Why didn't you do anything with Jack?"

My good mood left me. "I told you. He's taken."

"It's gonna be a long summer, lover. Anything might happen. See you around." She kissed me on the cheek and was gone.

Chapter 9.

My first class was complete chaos, scary as hell, and wonderful. I tried to remember what Alan Peters used to do and realized he just let us get on with things. The idea of letting go that way was the scariest part, way scarier than the thought of kids swallowing developing fluid or whacking their heads in the dark, so that first lesson I gave them all hell and knew they hated me. I wondered how many would be back tomorrow.

At ten-thirty, after two hours of believing I was going to keel over from a heart-attack or stroke they tidied up under my frantic gaze and as the last kid left with a grin and a wave (so maybe they would be back) I slumped against a bench and breathed out like I'd been holding my breath the whole time.

"You're gonna have to loosen up."

I whirled round. I'd forgotten Jack had been putting bottles away in the storeroom. My heart started beating overtime again and I shook my head at him. "You scared the pants off me!"

He gave me a grin and raised an eyebrow like that wouldn't be such a bad thing. Men! Was that all they ever thought about?

"You need to lighten up, Dani. They're only kids, and they came for a good time, not another schoolroom lesson. You know your stuff, but unless you ease off we're going to have an empty classroom come Friday."

I fanned myself with my hand. "I can't seem to let go." I thought of Mom, always fussing over us as kids, how I was acting exactly the same way. I wanted to be more like my Dad, always calm, always sure of himself, the rock in the center of any storm. Or, as Mom liked to say, the guy who wouldn't notice a tornado until it picked him up and carried him to Kansas.

Jack sauntered over and perched his narrow ass on the bench next to me. What was I doing noticing his ass?

"What's the worst can happen?"

I started ticking off on my fingers. "They might swallow developer or fixer, they could stumble when the lights are down, they could-"

Jack put his hand around mine, stopping me ticking off any more points. I'd only just started.

"And did any of this happen?"

"No. But-"

"You gave them the drill, told them about the dangers and they all listened, I was watching. They're good kids, Dani, real good kids, and you're gonna have to trust them."

"But what if-"

"Deal with it when something happens. If anything happens." Jack was starting to remind me a lot of my Dad, and I started liking him a whole lot better, before reminding myself I had no place liking him at all.

I sighed, shook my head so my hair fell forward and covered my face. My shoulders relaxed, aching where they'd been tense all morning. I put my hands under my hair and flung it back, catching Jack as it flew over my shoulders.

"Oops, sorry."

"No, it's fine. Your hair smells good. Feels good too."

I snorted, but I was flattered all the same.

"I got a favor to ask," Jack said.

"Uh-huh?"

"Okay if I do some work out of hours?"

"What, like developing work?"

"Yeah, that kind of thing. I'm not so good yet, but I thought if I came in and practiced I'd get better."

"You want me to help?" I made the offer, not sure whether I wanted him to say yes or not. I would help out if he asked, but that meant less time with Cherri and Tonya and Holly, less time for myself. On the other hand, the thought of time in the darkroom with Jack had an appeal as well.

"No, I can manage on my own. I don't want to waste your time. Would that be alright?"

"I don't see why not. You know where the key is?"

He grinned. "I do."

Not very secure, but tucked under the eaves above the door the key was high up, out of reach of the kids, out of reach of most of the counselors too. I was one of the tallest girls. Jack was three inches taller, nearly six-one.

"Just make sure you lock up and don't leave a mess."

"Thanks Dani." He squeezed my arm, nothing more, pushed off the bench and walked out the door in the loose, easy way he had and, to my shame, I watched his butt the whole way.

That second week passed in a blur. I had three classes a day; two in the morning, one late afternoon before dinner. That didn't mean I got to take it easy the rest of the time. My promotion to coordinator meant I wasn't expected to carry out the usual duties of a counselor, which were pretty much any and everything asked, but I did anyway so as not to stand out as different. The other coordinators were all older than me, schoolteachers and college staff. I wanted to be one of the gang so I went around with the kids, ate with them, listened to their woes when they got homesickaand they all got homesickastopped fights, offered a shoulder to cry on when romance blossomed and died, quite often the entire life-cycle lived out in an hour. Each night it was always gone eleven before I fell into my single bed, head buzzing with the events of the day and what might happen the next, buzzing with thoughts about Jack, whether Greg was really going to leave me be, but most disturbing the thoughts about Cherri. The friendship started on that stupid walk was something I expected to fade like all instant friendships do, but instead we were growing closer.

Early Wednesday evening we sat down by the lake on a picnic bench, taking our food outside because the refectory seemed too loud, and I told her about my family, about my Dad, my Mom and my brother.

"So you're Mom's a real Italian?" Cherri was impressed.

"She was born in Italy, so I suppose, yeah. I guess she still sounds Italian. She's got a little accent."

Cherri wrinkled her nose. "She sounds cute. Do you look like her?"

"People say I do." I tried to put a note of disbelief in my voice, because though people did say so I never believed them. My Mom was beautiful.

Cherri nodded. "That's why."

I frowned. "Why what?"

"You're kinda... exotic. But you know that."

I almost spat a mouthful of apple pie all over her. "Exotic?" I swallowed before allowing myself to laugh, not wanting to spray crumbs. "I know you're crazy, but I didn't realize you're blind as well."

"You are exotic, Dan, you really are. Everyone thinks so."

"Everyone?"

"Sure. Tonya and Holly worship you. Jack and Brian think you're hot as all hell and... well, everybody."

I was aware my mouth hung open and closed it with an audible snap. Cherri looked at me with her head cocked on one side.

"Is your Mom pretty?" She asked.

I shook my head. "Not pretty. She's... stunning." I pictured her, the image making my chest hurt with missing. Not as tall as me, hair cut shorter than mine but exactly the same color, exactly the same bounce and curl. I closed my eyes a moment as the image strengthened, saw Mom dressed as she had been last Christmas when the family came over from Caserta. Mom in her dark blue silk dress accentuating narrow waist and flared hipsaher hips, I realized, wider than mineaher shapely legs and bust with a soft sheen on the skin between neck and deep cleavage. No, I wasn't like my Mom at all.