An image appeared in Tanner's mind of Katelyn wearing that s.e.xy ivory lace bra and matching thong. Her gorgeous t.i.ts and smooth stomach, stretching out on his bed, rolling over to show the curves of her sweet a.s.s...

"Did you just groan?" Duper asked him.

Tanner shook his head and slouched lower in his chair. He wished he had a Stetson that he could pull down over his face, like some of the guys in this place.

The music changed to a LeAnn Rimes song, "How Do I Live."

He found himself listening to the lyrics. He and Katelyn...f.u.c.k. How was he going to live without her? How would he survive? He closed his eyes as dark despair washed down through him.

"Back to the snipped discussion," Hughie said.

"No!" Tanner shouted, bolting upright. "What the f.u.c.k is wrong with all of you?"

The guys fell silent, staring at him.

"Dude." Rosser shook his head. "You obviously need more fiber in your diet."

Tanner resisted the urge to tell him to f.u.c.k off.

"Seriously, man. What's going on?"

"Is it your contract?" Duper asked quietly.

Tanner sighed. "That. The trade rumors. And...I broke up with Katelyn."

"s.h.i.t. Really?"

They stared at him.

"Yeah."

"Why? What happened?"

"It wasn't fair to her, stringing her along while we wait this out, knowing I might be traded." He sighed. "You guys know she and I were together in college. I had to leave when I signed with the Islanders. It was a mistake to get involved with her again. When everything is up in the air. When I'll probably have to leave again." And when he was such a loser. The team didn't want him. Why would she?

"I'm sure she understands what's happening," Duper said. "She doesn't seem like she's stupid."

"No, she's definitely not stupid."

"Did you ever feel like you wasted all those years?" Rosser asked. "When you two were apart?"

"Uh...yeah."

Rosser nodded. "Happened to Jenna and me too."

"Yeah?"

Tanner sort of knew that Rosser and Jenna had known each other for a long time, since Rosser had grown up with Jenna's family, but he didn't know all the details.

"We thought we could never be together. Wasted f.u.c.king years of our lives because of that. Turned out we were wrong."

"How'd you figure it out?"

"We didn't, really. We just took a chance. Because being together was the most important thing."

Tanner sighed.

"I don't know, Benny." Rosser shook his head. "You and Katelyn seemed pretty good together. Everyone could tell from the beginning there was something between you. You may have been apart for years, but it didn't take long for you to get back together."

Army and Duper started laughing.

"What the f.u.c.k is so funny?" Tanner demanded. Another shot appeared in front of him and he tossed it back. The room was getting fuzzy and moving in circles.

Army slapped him on the back and he d.a.m.n near fell out of his chair. "You are," Army said with a huge s.h.i.t-eating grin. "I remember a conversation a couple of months ago, where you told us you planned to stay single forever."

Tanner frowned.

Duper grinned. "And I told you one day you'd fall in love, bam, and it'd all be over. And now it's happened."

Tanner scowled at him. Yeah, yeah, he remembered that.

And yeah, he'd fallen in love.

"Tell me again why you ended it with her," Rupper said. "Clearly you're miserable about it."

Tanner paused. "Things didn't end well between us last time. I didn't want that to happen again."

"So when you broke up with her, she took it okay?" Army asked.

Tanner flinched, remembering. "Uh, no. She told me to f.u.c.k off, basically."

"Well, good, so glad you prevented another ugly breakup."

"Christ." Tanner wanted to be p.i.s.sed at Rosser's sarcasm, but s.h.i.t, he was right. He'd f.u.c.ked up.

"I still don't get it," Rupper said. "You broke up with her because...?"

Tanner normally wouldn't have shared his deepest secret fears with these guys, but he was well on his way to wasted. "The team doesn't want me," he mumbled. "Why would she? I'm a big loser."

He glanced almost fearfully around the table, relieved that they weren't laughing at him. Wait. Did they agree with him?

"That's the biggest bunch of bulls.h.i.t I've ever heard," Duper said mildly.

"Really." Army nodded.

"First of all, the team wants you. They keep saying they do."

"I don't have a contract yet."

Rupper waved a hand. "It'll happen."

"They're going to trade me."

"It could be any one of us," Hughie said seriously. "There are a bunch of us that are on the bubble."

Tanner blinked blearily at him. Yeah, there'd been talk about the guys who were going to be RFAs too.

"Even if you do get traded..." Duper leaned forward. "You'll be fine. You're a great player. There are teams that need you."

"Put things in perspective, man," Rupper said. "You're not injured. You're healthy. You're in the prime of your career. You'll be a success wherever you land. And...you didn't just lose the woman you love to f.u.c.king cancer."

Tanner stared at him, his mouth falling open.

Holy s.h.i.t.

"I don't know what you're asking for," Bomber said. "But you're a top two pairing. I'm a fourth line winger. What the h.e.l.l are you crying about?"

"I'm not crying," Tanner muttered.

"You looked like you were going to cry."

Yeah, that LeAnn Rimes song had nearly brought f.u.c.king tears to his eyes. Now the band was playing another song...Lady Antebellum, "Need You Now." Again, he listened to the words.

He needed Katelyn. Whatever happened in his life, he needed her. He didn't know how he could ask her to give up her business and leave Chicago, but maybe they should skate across that bridge when they had to.

Yeah, he was drunk.

The guys were right. He was being a baby. He was a lucky b.a.s.t.a.r.d, playing in the NHL-f.u.c.k, it had always been his dream, and here he was pouting because he might end up playing somewhere else. He had a career and he'd be fine. But he couldn't lose Katelyn again.

"Gonna call her," he mumbled, pulling out his new iPhone. "Gotta tell her I'm an idiot."

Duper plucked his phone out of his hand.

"Hey!" He scowled.

"Not now," Duper said. "You can't call her when you're f.u.c.ked up like this."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

"The song said...I gotta call her."

"Trust me, buddy, that's not gonna go well." Rupper slapped his shoulder. "If you call her now, she'll blame it totally on the liquor."

"No." He shook his head, but that just made the bar spin in a blur of neon lights. "Need to do it now."

"Okay, just listen," Rupper said. "We need a plan. Here's what we'll do."

Chapter 20.

The guys showed up in his hotel room at nine o'clock the next morning, waking him out of a dead, hungover sleep. The b.a.s.t.a.r.ds had confiscated his key card, so they just let themselves in. Rosser threw himself down next to him, nearly bouncing him right off the bed, rolled over beside him, and flung an arm and a leg over top of him. "Wake up, honey," he said in his ear.

"f.u.c.k off." He tried to shove Rosser off him. "M'wake."

Rosser laughed and rolled away.

He actually didn't feel that bad. When they'd brought him back here last night, they'd made him drink a gallon of water, washing down a couple of painkillers. The scent of coffee and ham had him sniffing the air. "Is that a breakfast sandwich?"

"Yeah." Rupper peeled the lid off and set the paper cup, along with the sandwich, on the table beside the bed. "Eat."

"Then you gotta shower and brush your teeth, because d.a.m.n, you stink," Rosser said.

"Love you too." Tanner sat up and grabbed the coffee.

"Where's your phone?" Army asked, looking around.

"No f.u.c.king clue," Tanner muttered.

"I plugged it in for him last night." Duper gestured over to the desk.

"Do you know what you're going to say to Katelyn?" Rosser asked. "Want us to write it out?"

"f.u.c.k no." Tanner paused. "Maybe? I don't know what to say."

"We'll coach you through it," Duper said.

"How do I know you a.s.ses know what you're doing?" Tanner demanded.

"Dude. We have girlfriends. We're experts on this s.h.i.t now."

Then they all burst out laughing.

"f.u.c.k, we're as clueless as you," Army admitted. "Maybe we should call Lovey."

"Christ." Tanner sighed. "The whole f.u.c.king team is up in my business about this. Don't need more people involved."

He devoured the ham and egg sandwich and hit the shower. Yeah, brushing his teeth was definitely needed. He felt nearly normal when he emerged from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his hips. All the guys were sitting, staring at their phones.

"Okay." Army looked up. "Sit on the bed and look apologetic."