porteed, you're a Early playground declaration of intent to bring the authorities to bear upon a transgressor.

proddy Member of the Protestant or Presbyterian faiths, or one perceived to be so due to non-attendance of a Catholic school.

puddock A frog ("Aye, it's a braw bird, the puddock").

riddie See beamer.

sair Painful.

sclaff Poorly executed strike of a ball failing to make clean or well-directed contact. See Jose Quitongo.

scoobie A clue, or inkling.

scud In a state of undress. Also, to strike something with dull force. See also blooter, lamp, skelp and stoat.

scud-book A magazine celebrating the female form.

self-reference See self-reference shite See keech, jobbie and certain Scottish broadsheet literary critics.

shoe-shaggy Undemanding novice level of skipping ropes, swinging back and forth without describing full circles. Comparison: see fullsy-roundsies.

side A proper match contested by two teams, as opposed to a kickabout or a game of crossy or three-and-in.

single fish Serving of battered fish without chips which rather confusingly includes two fish. Also rhyming slang for urinary function.

skelp To strike or slap. See also blooter, lamp, scud and stoat.

skitter Diarrhoea; also anything watery, weak and poorly formed.

skoosh A task or prospect one expects to be less than taxing. Also a soft drink, usually uncarbonated.

snotters Mucous discharge.

sook The act of, or one given to acts of sycophancy or ostentatious obedience.

square go Pugilistic unarmed combat, with both parties ready and willing participants.

steamboats An advanced state of refreshment. See stocious staun To stand.

stauner When one's member chooses independently to stand.

stoat See skelp, scud, lamp, etc.

stoater See brammer.

stocious See steamboats.

stowed Crammed to capacity.

swatch A brief glance.

tanned Subject to an act of robbery.

thae Those.

thon That.

tight Descriptive of a young lady of robust moral virtue, who probably has nae tits anyway toe A strike at a football making up in brute power what it lacks in accuracy and panache.

wan The singular; one.

weans Children.

winching The romantic pursuit of young ladies.

wrang The opposite of right. See Brian McGinlay's decision to award Sandy Clark a goal in the 1983 Scottish Cup semi-final replay when the ball failed to come within two feet of the goal line. See also Brian McGinlay's failure to award St Mirren any one of three stonewall penalties during the same match yin The singular. See also wan yins Multiples of the singular.

end.