"Fly? How?"

"It was Eleanor at the lodges, wasn't it? Not Robbie. Why didn't you tell me?"

Jojo takes a sip of wine and looks him in the eye over the rim as she swallows. "So Professor Brainbox worked out the answer yet again," she says.

"Took me longer than you, though. But don't worry. I'm not going to tell the teacher."

"Well, if you're smart enough to solve the big question, you must know the answer to the one you just asked."

"I guess. You figured the polis have got a solution everybody's happy with, so you're protecting Eleanor from a whole load of grief."

"I'm protecting Robbie, too," she says.

"Robbie? How?"

"It's a hell of a thing he's done for Eleanor. I don't want that taken away from him."

Martin nods. "That's...You're really the sweetest girl, Jojo," he says. "I mean it."

"I liked it when you called me Joanne."

"Okay. Joanne." He takes a sip of his pint and places it down very carefully on the bartop so that his fingers just brush against hers. "I've got one last question for you," he says.

"What?"

Martin stands up and glances over his shoulder at the empty room. There's a slow song playing on the stereo, some old soul number from 1985.

"Would you like to dance?"

Jojo takes his hand and smiles.

"I'd love to."

Glossary.

afore Earlier than the time when.

auld Advanced in years.

ay Pertaining to.

baith Affecting or involving one as well as the other.

bampot A somewhat combustible individual.

baw A spherical object.

beamer Ruddy-cheeked display of embarrassment. See also riddie.

birling Motion inclined to induce disorientation.

blooter A hearty and full-blooded strike. See also lamp, scud, skelp, stoat boat hoose Evidence of upward mobility; a privately owned dwelling.

bogey, the game's a Declaration of despair; resignation that all is lost.

brammer An impressive specimen. See also stoater.

brer A male sibling.

bubbling Prolonged and self-pitying bout of tearfulness.

bunnet A fetching item of headgear.

cadge To solicit charitable donations of money or more often confectionery.

cheenies Treasured orbs in the possession of the male.

chook, is it Expression of profound scepticism.

clamped Rendered lost for words.

clap To stroke affectionately. "Ken them? I've clapped their dug!"

coupon One's visage.

crabbit Of foul humour. See certain Scottish broadsheet literary critics da Patriarchal head of the household.

dae To effect, perform or carry out an activity.

deck An incident considered sufficiently amusing as to imagine one rendered horizontal with laughter. See also gut, pish.

deid Expired, no longer with us, snuffed out, passed on, ceased to be.

diddies Protruberant milk-producing glandular organs situated on the chest of the human female and certain other mammals. See also Greenock Morton PC.

dowt The end of a cigarette, much coveted by impoverished but aspiring apprentice smokers.

dug Four-legged domesticated flesh-eating and leg-humping mammal of the wolf-descended genus Canis familiaris.

dunt A small, controlled blow.

dwam A state of foggy befuddlement.

edgy, the Look-out duty, usually in cover of nefarious deeds.

eejit One not blessed with ample intelligence. See Old Firm supporters.

eppy Paroxysms of uncontained anger.

erse The posterior, buttocks or amis. Used by Old Firm supporters to accommodate the brain.

fae Used to indicate a starting point.

fanny The female pudenda. Term of abuse for particularly whiny and snivelling individuals. See also certain Scottish broadsheet literary critics.

feart In a state of anxiety.

fitba Popular team sport known in some quarters as 'soccer', invented and given to the world by the Scots. English claims to have invented it rest on their having the first Football Association, which proves only that they invented football bureaucracy. Thanks a pantload, guys. You form yet another bloody committee and a hundred years later, we had to put up with Jim Farry.

fly Sharp-witted and elusive.

fud See fanny. And yet again, see certain Scottish broadsheet literary critics.

fullsy-roundsies Challenging skipping-rope technique, not for dilettantes. Comparison: see shoe-shaggy.

gallus Term of glowing approval. Derives from description of that which is cheerfully bursting with self-confidence. The word comes from 'gallows', coined at at the hanging of a Glasgow thief and murderer known as Gentleman Jim, who had remained his smiling, cocksure and witty self right up until the drop.

gaun yersel Shout of encouragement, insinuating the recipient needs no assistance to perform his attempted feat. Literally 'go on yourself.

geezabrek Invoked to wish for peace or better fortune.

gemme A match or playful diversion. One might request to join by entreating: "Geezagemme'.

gemmie Most enjoyable, highly approved.

gie To transfer possession of something.

ginger Generic term for carbonated minerals. Despite billions of dollars spent on brand recognition and advertising, in Glasgow, Coke, Pepsi, Seven-Up and Sprite are all referred to as 'ginger'.

greeting Tearful outpouring of grief.

gub The human mouth, usually referring to a large and loud one.

gubbed Soundly beaten, inferring the resultant metaphorical closing of the aforementioned large and loud gub whose outpourings occasioned the gubbing.

guddle A state of frantic uncoordination.

guddling A subtle means of angling practised without a rod or net.

gut An incident considered sufficiently amusing as to imagine one's innards rent asunder by laughter. See also deck, pish hame Where the heart is.

haun The end of the forelimb on human beings, monkeys, etc. utilising opposable thumbs in order to grasp objects. Also the appendages dragged along the ground at the end of Old Firm supporters' sleeves.

heid Uppermost division of the human body, containing the brains, except in the case of Old Firm supporters. See erse.

heidie The headmaster.

hing An inanimate object as distinguished from a living being.

hingmy All-purpose procrastinatory term for that which one cannot quite think of the name of yet. Equivalent of the French truc.

honking Emitting a foul odour; poorly thought of. See St Mirren 2001-04.

huckled Arrested or apprehended by agents of authority. See also lifted humping The act of coitus. Also a convincing and comprehensive victory. See Celtic 0-St Mirren 3, April 1991, or St Mirren 3-Rangers 0, October 1983 jakey Homeless indigent partial to Buckfast and superlager.

jakey sentence An undaunting custodial term, like commonly conferred on the above.

jammy Enjoying extreme good fortune. See Rangers 1-St Mirren 0, Scottish Cup semi-final replay 1983.

jinky Swift-footed and elusive jobbie Malodorous human waste product. See the performance of Brian McGinlay as referee, Scottish Cup semi-final replay 1983 jooks Outer garment extending from the waist to the ankles kb-ed Rejected. Knocked back keech See jobbie keek To glimpse briefly or surreptitiously keeker A black eye, rendering one able only to keek kerry-oot A cargo of alcoholic refreshments purchased from an off-licence to be transported elsewhere for consumption knock To take without consent or permission and with no intention of returning it lamp To strike out using one's fist. See also blooter, scud, skelp and stoat lash Leather tawse used for administering corporal punishment in Scottish schools. Outlawed in the 1980s less on humanitarian grounds than upon the belated realisation that the weans were having competitions to see who could get the most lashes.

lawy Water closet leather To bring considerable force to bear upon an object or person. See also malky, panelling lifted See huckled. That Lighthouse Family song never quite hit the same note north of the border lugs Organs of hearing and equilibrium in humans, Old Firm supporters and other vertebrates ma Female parent of a child or offspring maist To the greatest degree or extent malky An act or instrument of extreme violence. See also leather, panelling maw see ma mention Succinct and economical graffito stating simply one's name.

mibbae Perhaps.

minging See honking.

mockit In a state of very poor cleanliness. See also Greenock.

moolsy Selfish, ungenerous, disinclined to share one's sweeties with half a dozen cadgers who wouldn't give you the steam off their shite if it was the other way around.

morra (the) The day after today.

nae Denoting the absence of something, such as the likelihood of an Old Firm supporter winning Mastermind: 'Nae chance."

neb Nose.

noggin See heid.

numpty See eejit.

old firm Ingenious idiot-identification scheme which tags halfwits, criminals, thugs and assorted neerdowells voluntarily in blue or green-and-white garments, making them easier for the rest of us to avoid.

Paisley, to get off at To practise coitus interruptus.

pan breid A soft loaf made with refined white flour. Also rhyming slang for deceased.

panelling A brutal and inrestrained violent assault. See also leather, malky.

pish Urine; urinary function. Also an incident considered sufficiently amusing as to imagine one rendered incontinent by laughter. See also and Morton blowing promotion in 2004.

poke A paper bag.

polis Organisation employed to harrass and intimidate under-twelves.