*Any dress code for me?' she said.

*You are not my girlfriend. Wear whatever. What do I care?' I said.

We didn't talk about the afternoon episode when I came to her room in the evening. She had changed into black track pants and an oversized full-sleeve black T-shirt. She was covered up enough to go for a walk in Afghanistan. I kind of missed her shorts, but I had brought it upon myself. I opened the marketing case that we had to prepare for the next day.

*Nirdosh a nicotine-free-cigarettes,' I read out the title.

*Who the fuck wants that? I feel like a real smoke,' she said. I gave her a dirty look.

*What? Am I not allowed to use the F words? Or is it that I expressed a desire to smoke?'

*What are you trying to prove?'

*Nothing. I want you to consider the possibility that women are intelligent human beings. And intelligent people don't like to be told what to wear or do, especially when they are adults. Does that make any sense to you?'

*Don't be over-smart,' I said.

*Don't patronize me,' she said.

*There are other ways to attract attention than by wearing less clothes,' I said.

*I didn't do it to attract attention. I wear shorts because I like to wear shorts.'

*Can we study?' I opened the case again.

We kept quiet for half an hour and immersed ourselves in our books.

*I wasn't trying to attract attention,' she said again, looking up from her books.

*It doesn't matter to me,' I said.

*Are you jealous?'

*Are you kidding me?' I slammed my book shut.

*No, just checking. Let's study.' She turned back to her books, a smile on her face.

I threw the pillow at her. She laughed and slammed it on my head. I realised this was the first contact sport I had played with her apart from shaking hands.

5.

We studied together every day for the next month. Even though I pretended to be fine with the *just friends' thing, it was killing me. Every time I looked up from my books, I saw her face. Every time I saw her, I wanted to grab her face and kiss her.

The only way I could focus was by imagining that Prof Chatterjee was in our room.

Even outside the study sessions, it wasn't easy. Every time I saw a guy talk to her or laugh with her, a hot flush started from my stomach and reached my face.

Sometimes, she would tell me how funny some guy in section A was or how cute some guy in section B was and I wanted to go with a machine gun and shoot the respective guys in sections A and B.

*What? They should go full on with the advertising campaign, right?' she referred to the marketing case.

I had been staring at her lips, researching ways of kissing her. *Huh? Yes, I agree with you,' I said.

*Your mind is elsewhere. What are you thinking of right now?' she snapped her fingers.

*Nothing, sorry, I was thinking how.....how insightful you are in marketing.'

*Thank you,' she smiled, believing me. *Yes, I like this subject. I think I will be good at a marketing job. So I will go with this recommendation tomorrow.'

We finished the case at midnight. I stood up to leave.

*Tea?' she said, suggesting we go to Rambhai.

*No. I can't fall asleep then,' I said.

*Maggi? I will make it in the pantry upstairs.'

*No, I'd better go,'

She came to the door with me. *You are so serious these days. What do you keep thinking about? Grades?'

*I can't study with you any longer,' I blurted out.

*What?' she said surprised.

*We've figured out a rhythm for ourselves. We don't need to study together anymore.'

*Yeah, but we like to study together, at least I do....What's up? Did I do anything wrong?'

*It's not you. It's me,' I said.

*Don't do an "it's not you, it's me" on me,' Ananya screamed.

Her loud voice woke up a girl in the next room who switched on her light.

*We are not dating, OK? Stop behaving like we are having a break-up,' I whispered. *And go to sleep. There's a quiz tomorrow.'

I didn't speak to her in the class the next day. She came up to me twice, once to return my pen that I had left in her room and another time during the mid-morning break to ask me if I wanted to go for tea. Once you start liking someone, their mere presence evokes a warm feeling in you. I fought the feeling before it took control of me.

*I'd rather read up for the next class. You go have tea,' I said.

She didn't insist as she left the room. She had worn a long maroon skirt and a light brown top. I wish she'd turn back and look at me. But she didn't. she joined her dorm-mates and went out for tea.

I dodged her for the next five days. I came late to class and left first so there was no time for greetings.

*You are not talking to her?' the Mohit right next to me asked while the other four craned their necks to listen. Even Kanyashree paused from her frantic note- taking and turned her profile ten-degrees towards me.

*You seem quite concerned?' I said and everyone promptly backed off.

6.

Ananya knocked at my door at nine in the night. I had just sat down to study after dinner. Girls rarely visited boys' dorms. She had come to my room only once before. It had excited my dorm-mates into an impromptu Frisbee match set to loud music in the dorm corridor.

*She reminds me of Bhagyashree,' one of the boys had screamed outside our room. Even I couldn't resist a smile. He went on to play a song from Maine Pyar Kiya that urged a pigeon to play postman.

*That's it. We are never studying at your dorm again,' she had fumed as she packed her books. She opened the door to eight boys playing Frisbee in the corridor.

*For the record, I Hate Bhagyashree,' she had said and stormed off.

But here she was again. And the firmness in her step meant my dorm-mates didn't act like Neanderthals and had disappeared into their rooms.

I opened the door. She stood there, wearing the blue and white salwar kameez that she wore the first time I saw her. When you are in campus, you can figure out a pattern in people's clothes. Her blue salwar kameez repeated itself every three weeks.

She had brought two Frootis with her. *Can I come in? Can I distract the scholar for ten minutes from his studies?'

Unlike her room, there was no aesthetic appeal to mine. I had left the red bricks bare, and they looked like prison walls. My originally white bed-sheet had turned grey after being washed in acid in the IIT hostels. My desk only had books, unlike Ananya's who always had cut flowers from campus lawns or arty incense holders or other objects that men never put on their shopping lists.

*Wait,' is aid. I turned around to do a quick scan. No, there was no underwear or smelly socks or porn magazines or old razor blades in sight. I held the door open.

*Mugging away?' she asked as she sat on the bed.

*No choice.' I pulled back my study chair.

*Your grades will improve as you don't study with me anymore.'

*It's nothing like that,' I said.

*Then, what is the matter? What is this childish behavior? Like you don't even acknowledge me in class.'

I looked away from her.

*Eye contact please.'

I looked at her. I had missed her so much I wanted to lock my room and never let her go.

*I can't,' I said.

*Can't what?'

*I can't be just friends. I'm sure some guys can be friends with girls. I can't. Not with you.'

*What?' She sat up straight.

*I know you are out of my league and I don't deserve you and whatever so spare me all that and....'

*What are you talking about?' she sounded confused.

*Forget it. Thanks for the Frooti,' I said. I took a long, gurgling sip to finish the drink. I slammed the tetrapack on the table like a retro Hindi film hero who takes the last sip of his VAT69. Yes, leave me alone as I drown my suffering in mango juice, I thought.

*Hey.' She touched my shoulder.

*Don't put your hand on my shoulder,' I said as her touch sent tingles down the back of my neck.

*OK, peace.' She moved her hand away. *But this is sort of not fair. We had a deal.'

*Screw the deal,' I said as I crumpled the Frooti carton and threw it in my dustbin.

We exchanged glances, silent for a minute.

*What do you want?' she asked.

*I want us to be a couple,' I said. *And this is not a proposal. I am not Mr.

Fourteen.'

She stared at me. I stared back, to show I was unfazed. *If this isn't a proposal, what is it?'

*You have come to my room. You asked me what I want. It's different.'

*But you want us to be a couple.' Her voice was still defiant.

I nodded.

*We used to practically be a couple, studying together, going to the STD booth together, having meals in the mess together.'