Having an A+ Relationship can help you live a longer and healthier life. This is not simply common sense, but has been proven medically. See these two books by Dean Ornish, MD: Love & Survival: The Scientific Basis for the Healing Power of Intimacy, and Love & Survival: 8 Pathways to Intimacy & Health

RECIPE FOR AN A+ RELATIONSHIP.

881.

Overview: Recipe takes 2 individuals and turns them into 1 couple.

Background: Gather ingredients over time, and practice cooking for twenty to thirty years.

Ingredients: 1 cup attraction 1 cup compatibility 2 nuts 1 quart honesty (with 2 quarts comparison) 1 pint each of faith, hope, and charity: Combine and mix vigorously 1 dash thoughtfulness 1 pinch 2 pints cooperation combined with 2 pints compromise 2 quarts forgiveness 2 gallons sense of humor 2 pounds sex (raw) Plus an endless supply of love, sex, and romance, in the ratio 2:1:3.

Preparation: Combine all ingredients and stir like crazy. Leave medium lumps. (If too smooth, days will be boring; but if lumps too big, problems will be too big to swallow.) Heat with passion but never bring to a boil! Spice to your personal taste.

Important! Pass down this recipe to your children and to future generations.

The first two years tend to be spicy. The middle years tend to be nutty. The later years tend to be savory. But they're all delicious!

Serving: Yields 50 or more years of marriage.

Divide into 50 years and serve separately.

Subdivide each year into 365 days; savor each day individually.

Each day tastes different. This is normal. Some days are sweet. Some days are sour. Some days are smooth. Some days are chewy and difficult. Some days are spicy. Some days are hard to swallow. But every day is exactly what you need, and the portions are just right for your needs.

ROMANCE ACROSS AMERICA.

882.

Visit all fifty states-one or two a year for as long as it takes.

Camp in every national park in the country.

Then, start on the state parks.

883 Go whitewater rafting! Adventurous folks at these firms will get you started downstream: Appalachian Wildwaters: 800-624-8060, www.awrafts.com USA Raft: 800-USA-RAFT, www.usaraft.com Rio Grande Adventures: 800-343-1640 884 Bicycle across the United States! The 4,500-mile TransAmerica Bicycle Trail follows side roads and uncrowded state routes through rural America. The trail goes from Yorktown, Virginia to Astoria, Oregon, and takes from fifty to ninety days to complete. For more information, call Adventure Cycling at 800-755-2453 or 406-721-1776, or write P.O. Box 8308, Missoula, Montana 59802, or visit www.adv-cycling.org.

885 Attend one of America's many hot air balloon festivals.

The National Balloon Classic: early August, in Indianola, Iowa. Call 515-961-8415.

The International Balloon Fiesta: mid-October, in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Call 888-422-7277 or visit www.balloonfiesta.com.

Bonus Spots: When you're in Rochester, New York Dine at Cafe Cupid. (A stunningly romantic little place!) 754 East Ridge Road, in Irondequoit. Call 585-342-2640.

Shop at the coolest gift shop in America, The Parkleigh, 215 Park Avenue in Rochester. Call 800-333-0627, or visit www.parkleigh.com.

When you're in Springfield, Massachusetts: Visit the Titanic Museum (the ship, not the movie). Call 413-543-4770, or visit www.titanichistoricalsociety.com.

When you're in Atlanta, Georgia: Take your chatterbox to visit the Bellsouth Telephone Museum. Call 404-986-3289.

When you're in Fort Wayne, Indiana: Visit the butterfly aviary at the Fort Wayne Children's Zoo. Call 260-427-6800, or visit www.kidszoo.com.

When you're in Phoenix, Arizona: Visit the Hall of Flame Museum of Firefighting. Call 602-275-3473 or visit www.hallofflame.org.

ROMANCE AROUND THE WORLD.

886 Some recommendations from Romance Class participants: The most romantic restaurant in Vienna: Steirereck The most romantic restaurant in Amsterdam: De Goudsbloem The most romantic restaurant in Rome: "Les Etoiles" Roof Garden The most romantic restaurant in Stockholm: Hasselbacken 887.

The most romantic hotel in Paris: L'Hotel The most romantic hotel in Vienna: Romischer Kaiser The most romantic hotel in Rome: Guesthouse Arcde Tolomei The most romantic hotel in Amsterdam: Pulitzer The most romantic hotel in Copenhagen: Skovshoved The most romantic hotel in Madrid: Santa Mauro 888 If your lover loves the beach, plan a vacation to one of the great beaches of the world. Choose a beach based on the kind of beach activity he/she likes to indulge in: A+ for unspoiled: Barbuda, West Indies Kea, Greek Islands A+ for lazing: Isla de Cozumel, Mexico Molokai, Hawaii North Island, New Zealand A+ for beachcombing: Mindoro, Philippines Sanibel Island, Florida Bonus Travel Tips: Austria: 212-944-6880, www.austriatourism.com Belgium: 212-758-8130, www.visito belgium.com England: 800-462-2748, www.visitbritain.com Cyprus: 212-683-5280, www.cyprustourism.org Denmark: 212-885-9700, www.visitdenmark.com Finland: 800-346-4636, 212-885-9700, www.visitfinland.com France: 310-271-6665, www.francetourism.com Germany: 800-651-7010, www.cometogermany.com Greece: 213-626-6696, www.gnto.gr Iceland: 212-885-9700, www.icelandtouristboard.com Ireland: 800-223-6470, www.discoverireland.com Italy: 310-820-0098, www.italiantourism.com Netherlands: 888-464-6552, www.us.holland.com Norway: 212-885-9700, www.norway.org Poland: 201-420-9910, www.polandtour.org Portugal: 800-767-8842, www.portugal.org Sweden: 212-885-9700, www.visitsweden.com Switzerland: 877-794-8037, www.myswitzerland.com

THE RIGHT STUFF.

889 Psychological experiments have shown that most people can turn a new behavior into a habit in three weeks. Their experiments involved boring activities like exercising or waking up an hour earlier than usual. My suggestion (as you might have guessed) is that you conduct your own experiment in turning romantic behavior into a habit.

Here's a possible approach to your Experiment In Romance: For three weeks-that's twenty-one straight days-practice these behaviors: "True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked."

-Erich Segal Say "I love you" to your partner at least five times a day.

Find at least one romantic idea in the newspaper every day.

Call your partner from work at least three times a day.

Reduce your TV-watching by one hour per night. Do something together with that time.

Make love at least twice a week.

Circle ten ideas in this book that you think your partner would enjoy. Discuss them with him/her.

Surprise your partner in some small way every other day.

At the end of three weeks you'll be a more romantic person. You may not become Valentino, but you will be more aware of the importance of romance in your life, you'll be more in touch with your own feelings of love, and you'll be in closer touch with your lover.

Not a bad habit, huh?!

Start your "Romance Regimen" today! See instant results!

THE WRITE STUFF.

890 Some books on love, relationships, men and women, etc.

Love and Respect Workbook, by Emerson Eggerichs & Fritz Ridenour Living, Loving & Learning, by Leo Buscaglia The New Rules of Marriage, by Terrence Real Dear Lover: A Woman's Guide to Men, Sex, & Love's Deepest Bliss, by David Deida Love, by Leo Buscaglia How to be an Adult in Relationships, by David Richo Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, by John M. Gottman, PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, and Joan DeClaire Loving Each Other, by Leo Buscaglia The Truth About Love, by Dr. Patricia Love Men, Love, & Sex, by David Zinczenko, Ted Spiker, and Stephen Hoye Keeping the Love You Find, by Harville Hendrix Iron John, by Robert Bly 891 Some fun and funny books about relationships, love and/or sex: Dave Barry's Guide to Marriage and/or Sex, by Dave Barry Mack Tactics: The Science of Seduction Meets the Art of Hostage Negotiation, by Christopher Curtis & Rob Wiser Dating, Mating, & Manhandling: The Ornithological Guide to Men, by Lauren Frances & Konstantin Kakanias Why Did I Marry You, Anyway? by Arlene Modica Matthews A Bookstore Coupon Good for a one-hour shopping spree in the bookstore of your choice. Good for up to $50.

892 Be prepared: Write it down! Make a list of at least ten little things you know your partner would love. Would she love a massage? Would he love a special dessert? Would she love to have her car waxed? Would he love a new CD?

Don't put this off until later-write this list by the end of the day today. Then keep this list with you as a reminder. Commit yourself to accomplishing one item per week over the next ten weeks.

REAL MEN ARE ROMANTIC.

Proof that Real Men are romantic: Clint "Dirty Harry" Eastwood directed and starred in The Bridges of Madison County, one of the most romantic movies of all time.

893 Do something with her that you normally hate doing (and do it cheerfully without complaint). Go dress shopping with her; go out to a movie with her; attend the ballet with her; do some gardening with her.

894 Do something for her that you hate doing (and do it cheerfully and without complaint). Go grocery shopping, wash the dishes, weed the garden, get up in the middle of the night with the baby.

895 Shave on Saturday night.

896 Do you treat your employees better than you treat the woman in your life? A lot of men do. (What is it with you guys?!) Here's a hypothetical role-playing exercise for you: View your lover as a customer, client, or employee. Good managers think of ways to motivate their employees, they don't simply order them around or take them for granted. And salesmen are always considerate of their customers...After all, customers are very important. Well, isn't she just as important?!

897 Be extra nice to her during her menstrual periods. (Mark the dates on your calendar as a reminder.) And thank heaven that you don't have to experience cramps!

"Sure, God made man before woman. But, then again, you always make a rough dra? before creating the final masterpiece."

-Anonymous

REAL WOMEN ARE ROMANTIC.

898 Do you want to give him flowers-but you're concerned that he'll feel uncomfortable because it's not "manly" enough?

Reconsider your assumptions. A big, burly construction worker in my Romance Class once told me that his girlfriend had sent flowers to him at his work site! After the required good-natured ribbing from the guys, he found that many of them complained that their gals had never sent flowers to them!

Send a variety of flowers-all in his favorite color. (Sixty-two percent of American men say their favorite color is blue). Here are some blue flowers: forget-me-not, balloon flower, catmint, delphinium, lobelia, sea lavender, spiderwort, and Virginia bluebells.

Present the flowers in a "manly" vase-like a distributor cap or a toolbox. Or how about placing three small roses in the finger holes of his bowling ball?

899 Do something with him that you normally hate doing (and do it cheerfully and without complaint). Accompany him fishing, bowling, bird-watching, running, or camping. Or simply watch "the Game" on TV with him.

900 Do something for him that you normally hate doing (and do it cheerfully and without complaint). Iron his shirts; wash his car; cook his favorite, hard-to-make dinner; run some errands; perform that little sexy fantasy you know he loves so much.

Seventy-four percent of American men have never received flowers from a woman. Eighty-two percent of them say they would appreciate the gesture.

I highly recommend a thoroughly enchanting and practical book, The Goddess' Guide to Love, by Margie Lapanja.

GUY STUFF.