839 Visit Liverpool, England, for a "Magical Mystery Tour" of The Beatles' hometown. Walk down Penny Lane, see the Cavern Club, visit the multimedia exhibit, and ponder the Eleanor Rigby statue (dedicated to "All the lonely people.") And, of course, there's The Beatles Shop, which is chock-full of memorabilia and music.

840 The romance of the open road...the vacation that never ends...the RV lifestyle! (Some people think that "RV" stands for "Recreational Vehicle." I say it stands for "Romantic Vehicle.") Call 800-327-7778 or visit www.cruiseamerica.com for CruiseAmerica, which rents all makes and sizes of RVs-so you can try different units before buying one.

841 Go for a "mystery drive" in the country. Keep to the back roads and ignore the map. Agree to have lunch at the first charming inn or classic diner you pass. If you stumble onto a quaint bed-and-breakfast, stay the night! (You do, of course, have "His" and "Hers" overnight bags stored in the trunk, don't you?!) Escape from the mundane.

Escape from the clock.

Escape from the stress.

Escape from the kids.

Escape from the Rat Race.

Escape from boredom.

GETTING AWAY FROM IT ALL.

Some of my most romantic memories involve cruises.

842 The top five "romantic images," from polling thousands of Romance Class participants: Candlelight dinner A classic wedding ceremony Cuddling in front of a roaring fireplace Walking on a beach An ocean cruise When you're ready to take the ultimate in romantic vacations and you want to book a cruise, my suggestion is to talk to lots of people and see whom they recommend. Norwegian Cruise Line keeps popping up at the top of the list. For destinations, schedules, info on their ships and services: 800-327-7030, www.ncl.com.

843 Before going on vacation, get stacks of brochures, posters, and books about your upcoming destination. Mail them to your partner on a regular basis. It will help build the anticipation for your vacation.

844 Two opposite approaches to spending money on vacations: Great travel resource:

Modern Bride Honeymoons and Weddings Away, by Geri Bain.

Spend as little as possible on accommodations, and as much as possible on dining out! Some folks appreciate a great meal more than anything. This approach allows them to indulge without guilt!

Pamper yourselves with the most luxurious room you can find, and save money by cutting other corners, like eating frugally and avoiding costly tourist traps. Some folks create a "love nest" out of their vacation room and settle in for a week of loving, reading, cuddling, and relaxing.

AN ANNIVERSARY GIFT LIST.

845 I pose this question in my Romance Classes: "Just who made up this anniversary gift list, anyway?" Well, none has been able to answer the question definitively, so I figure my gift list is as good as anybody's!

Nobody knows why these lists always jump by five-year intervals following number fifteen! (It's up to you to fill in the in-between years!) Year Traditional Modern Godek's 1 Paper Clock Lingerie 2 Cotton China Lingerie 3 Leather Crystal/Glass Lingerie 4 Fruit/flowers Appliances Software 5 Wood Silver/silverware Books 6 Candy/iron Wood Lingerie 7 Wood/copper Desk sets Wine 8 Bronze/pottery Linens/laces A cruise 9 Pottery/willow Leather CDs 10 Tin/aluminum Diamond jewelry Jewelry 11 Steel Fashion jewelry Silk 12 Silk/linen Pearls Perfume 13 Lace Textiles/furs Umbrellas 14 Ivory Gold jewelry Lingerie 15 Crystal Watches Computers 20 China Platinum Champagne 25 Silver Silver Jacuzzis 30 Pearl Diamond/pearl Diamond 35 Coral Jade Sculpture 40 Ruby Ruby Stocks 45 Sapphire Sapphire Emerald 50 Gold Gold Rolls Royce 55 Emerald Emerald Gold 60 Diamond Diamond Paris vacation

A ROMANTIC BASICS CHECKLIST.

846 Here, in checklist form, are all of the "Romantic Basics." These items are described and expanded upon elsewhere in this book, but here's a quick-and-handy reference page for you.

Roses Flowers Chocolate Perfume Champagne Jewelry Lingerie Greeting cards Love songs Love letters Love poetry Love notes Ballroom dancing Breakfast in bed Dinner out Movie at a theater Dinner at home Movie at home Formal dates Little surprises Love Coupons Handmade cards Classic gold chain Candy Massages Candles Romantic fantasies Having sex Sexy fantasies Making love Diamonds Wine Cruises Drive-in movies Vacations Bed and breakfasts Honeymoons Hotel suites Birthdays Anniversaries Special holidays Valentine's Day Heart-shaped box of candy Crystal champagne flutes How would you personalize this list?

GENERATING IDEAS.

847 Set a goal of generating or discovering one new romantic idea each day for a year. (Your commitment will help draw ideas to you.) Keep your notes, articles, comics, ads, and miscellaneous reminders in a shoebox under your bed.

848 Train your subconscious mind to find romantic ideas for you. Hey, why should your subconscious mind be doing nothing but daydreaming all day long while the rest of your mind is doing all the work? Scientists say that we only use about 10 percent of our brains: This is a way to boost your brain efficiency to 25 percent or better!

Seriously, you can assign a small portion of your brain the task of being constantly on the lookout for romantic ideas. The goal is to retrain your mind to stop filtering out those ideas, and start letting them come to the attention of your conscious mind. What starts happening is that romantic articles and gift ideas will start "jumping out at you." Guaranteed.

849 Practice creating "Variations on a Theme" for generating romantic ideas. Start with any idea and build on it, expand it, extend it.

Start with "greeting cards": Buy one; buy a hundred! Make some yourself. Send one-a-day for a week, send one-a-day for a month! Frame some cards that she's given you.

Start with "candy": What's her favorite? Buy ten pounds of it. Fill her shoes with candy; fill her purse, her glove compartment, her pillow. Send it to her at work. Spell out words with it. Create trails throughout the house with it.

"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love."

-Henry Drummond You have tremendous, untapped reservoirs of creativity inside!

ROMANTIC BRAINSTORMING.

850 Hold a "Romantic Idea Brainstorming Session" with a group of friends. Serve pizza and beer. Hand out pads of paper and markers. Use a large pad on an easel to compile ideas.

The goal is to generate as many ideas as possible in one hour: serious and silly, practical and unrealistic, expensive and inexpensive, thoughtful and outrageous, sweet and sexy.

851 Generate romantic ideas using your partner's likes, passions, and favorite things. What's his or her favorite color, favorite author, poet, artist, movie, TV show, song, singer, wine, perfume, restaurant, ice cream, sport, or flower? Use this knowledge as a springboard for creating romantic ideas that you know will be unique and special.

852 Tap into the strength of your own personal style and your special talents. Do you have a flair for writing, dancing, building things, organizing, cooking, or drawing? Use these talents and abilities to enhance the romance in your life!

Sit down and take an inventory of your own personal talents, interests, skills, aptitudes, and passions. Write a list. Use it as an idea-generator.

853 Institute the "Buddy System." Team up with a good friend and act as each other's personal "Romance Coach." Encourage each other, trade ideas, remind each other of important dates, compare notes, and share new discoveries.

Chapter Theme Song:.

"Think About It," Will Young Keep a romantic ideas journal in a secret (but accessible) place. As ideas come to you, be sure to log them!

A KICK IN THE PANTS.

854 Do you take your partner for granted? Well, stop it! Taking your partner for granted is not only the death of romance, but could well be the death of your relationship.

855 Take a risk-be romantic. I dare you.

Being truly romantic is a risky thing to do. I respect this difficulty and at the same time encourage you to leap off the cliff. Being truly romantic involves opening yourself up and revealing your feelings. Let's face it, nobody wants to be burned, and it's hard to risk a broken heart when you've been through a number of relationships.

But if you're not going to open up to your lover, who else is there?

And if you're consciously choosing not to open up, you might want to ask yourself what you're afraid of, or what you're hiding.

And if you're not going to be romantic and open up, then what's the point of being in a relationship in the first place?!

856 Change one bad habit. Just one! (You'll be helping yourself as well as pleasing your partner!) Lose those ten pounds you've been meaning to shed. Stop smoking. Eat more healthfully. Dress better. Exercise more. Listen better. Be more courteous. Slow your pace.

I dare you to be romantic!

Go for it!

MOTIVATING YOUR PARTNER TO BE MORE ROMANTIC.

857 The Nice Approach Do things that your partner will interpret as loving gestures. Do these things without an attitude, without expecting anything in return, and without any wise comments.

Most people respond in kind. It might take a week or two, but most people do come around. Now don't forget that love is worth working on, and that these things take time.

858 The Psychological Approach Don't try to get him to be more romantic to you. Instead, aim at changing his level of awareness about the need for more romance/intimacy/communication in your relationship. Successful long-term changes in behavior usually follow a change in awareness. If you start with behavior modification, you'll probably only produce short-term results. Some techniques for raising awareness include: Simply talking (heart-to-heart) Model romantic behavior ("Monkey see, monkey do!") Getting like-minded friends to set him straight Good psychology/relationship books A class or seminar on love and relationships Couples counseling 859 The Give-and-Take Approach If you have a really reluctant partner, I recommend that you play a lighthearted game that I call, "I'll do this for you if you'll do that for me." You might trade meals, chores, sex, erotic fantasies, back rubs, babysitting, naps, or balancing the checkbook. This simple and fun approach often works to recharge a relationship when the more sophisticated "psychological" approaches fail.

MOTIVATING THE ROMANTICALLY IMPAIRED.

860 A major reason why some people aren't romantic is that a lack of it doesn't affect them. If you want him to be more romantic, but he's satisfied with the status quo... "Well, tough luck-that's your problem!" he says/thinks.

The solution? Simple: Make it his problem. People only really solve problems that they see as problems that relate to themselves.

How do you "make it his problem"? Well, you start by telling him up front what you want (more romance), and how you want it (circle your favorite items in this book!). You need to be specific, positive, and loving in your approach.

It might help both of you to remember that problems (especially relationship problems) are actually opportunities in disguise! I've seen couples use this technique to transform frustrating D- Relationships into happy, solid B+ Relationships. (You can do it, too!) 861 Seven Ways to Woo a Workaholic Away from Work Promise your partner the best sex of his or her life- Follow through on your promise!

(If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!): Create a business together.

Make a "Mission Impossible" audiotape that leads him or her to a mystery date with you.