"Oh, hey Monique, what's up?"

"Earth to Dante, earth to Dante, new roommate arrives today."

"Oh, right. I forgot which day it was. Man-Dough deadlines. Sorry about that."

"Dieter Resnick, nice to meet you," I said, extending my hand.

"Nice meetin' you too," he said. "Your bed's all set up." Dante's voice had a tw.a.n.g to it that I couldn't quite place.

"I'll let you get settled in, Dieter," Monique said. "I have to go catch up with Sheila and Roster. Gotta make sure that fool isn't making Man-Dough jump off Central Hall or anything."

"Roster?" I asked. "You know that guy?"

"Of course. Roster's a Lambda too. He's your next door neighbor."

"Oh...I see." I said, gritting my teeth. "I saw him earlier working with, Man-Dough, was it?"

"Breaking it, more likely." Monique rolled her eyes. "I'll see you two later."

Dante was polite but quiet. He seemed to take the measure of his words before he bothered airing them. I managed to get that he was from near Corbin, Kentucky, and that this was his second semester at Elliot. Dante said he was good at shrouding (whatever that meant), but that he hadn't decided on his specialty yet. He had a bunch of books out and was working on something for Lambda's Man-Dough project. Apparently, each learning group had a.s.signments they had to complete together, and Lambda's current task was to perfect that little putty guy I'd seen on the lawn.

I let Dante get back to it and examined my new digs. They weren't bad at all. A window was placed opposite the door with a view of the forest, and each side of the room had a desk, raised bed, dresser, and a small closet. A large bundle of sheets sat on top of my naked mattress. I unpacked my duffle first and then turned to the bundle. After undoing the twine, I set the towel, pillow, set of sheets, and heavy comforter to the side. That left one of those charcoal grey 'robes,' a little toiletry dolly, a swipe card (with my photo already on it), and three small books.

I hung the robe in my closet and then took a look at the books. They were pocket reference guides. A red warning label on the back of each book read: "Incineration Warning: Do not photograph, scan, copy, or transport more than (1) mile from Elliot Pond." I examined the t.i.tles. There was Do's and Do Not's, Wright's Pocket Reference Guide to Basic Magery, and a laminated red one ent.i.tled In Case of Emergency. I flipped to the first chapter of Do's and Do Not's: In the Salem Pact of 1694, the Magi of Northern America agreed to formally abandon the magiks of 1) chimerism 2) mutation of living tissues, 3) necromancy, 4) alchemical reactions leading to the creation of precious minerals, and 5) unsanctioned mental a.s.saults on the Imperiti. These five laws are in accordance with the pact signed between the Knights Hospitaller and the Church, and serve as a reaffirmation of the Five Tenets set forth by the arbitrators of antiquity: 1. Thou shall not merge the souls of beast and man, 2. Nor corrupt the flesh, 3. Nor compel the dead, 4. Nor profit from mana, 5. Nor a.s.sault the mind.

Though much of ma.n.a.lurgical law has evolved with the times, these five basic tenets have guided magiks in North America and abroad for hundreds of years. It is because of their vital nature that the Department of Mana Affairs of North America remains comfortable dispensing the death penalty when they are breached.

"Yikes," I muttered. That was enough light reading for the night. I finished making my bed and grabbed my toiletries. Monique was on the phone in the commons. She waved as I made my way to the bathroom. To my right was a door labeled "Roster Dreg's Full Service Lady Chamber, Lucas Wright, Butler."

I shuddered.

Across the hall, a crazy collage of photos announced Monique and Sheila's room. I recognized Sheila right away. She was the tall blond girl seated next to Roster in the quad. In one photo, Sheila, dressed in this funny white uniform, was holding a big trophy in front of a banner that read: "Intercollegiate East Championships". Then I did a double take. In the corner of the photo was Rei, in the same white uniform, looking rather miffed. I filed that away and moved on.

The next door to the right had a perfectly centered single sheet of copy paper. "I. f.u.kIMURA" was printed in the center followed by Kanji symbols below.

The last door on the left was almost entirely covered by a giant poster featuring handmade tissue paper animals. I would have laughed, but whoever had made them had serious talent. In the center, "Maria Espinoza" was written in beautiful script. Maria Espinoza...? Ah, yes, this was the Paella Bandit that Monique mentioned.

I sniffed the air...was that garlic?

Sure enough, a giant clump of the stuff was hanging above like mistletoe. Judging by its pungent odor, it was fresh. Below it, a flier from some sort of animal rights group was posted: Stop Sheep Abuse NOW!

DID YOU KNOW?.

There are over 20 sheep at Elliot College.

During their SHORT LIVES, these sheep suffer attacks by vicious dogs, forced bloodletting, distress, fear, pain, and DEATH.

The SECRECY surrounding these sheep prevents us from finding out exactly what is done to them, but WE must DEMAND ANSWERS!

SSA-NOW believes it is morally wrong to deliberately inflict pain, suffering, emotional harm, and death upon sheep for whatever purpose. Bloodletting is, by definition, cruel and inhumane.

Remember! Vampires only exploit animals because they cannot exploit human beings.

They SUFFER for US!

Additional information can be obtained by emailing I sighed. The explosive font made my head hurt.

I shuffled into the men's bathroom, showered, shaved, and brushed my teeth. It was hard to believe I'd been hosed in blood just a few hours ago. New York felt so far away. I was staring at my own bleary eyes in the mirror when I heard Roster coming down the hall.

"How the h.e.l.l was I supposed to know Man-Dough couldn't make the jump? Shug, it was only four stories. I could do that in my sleep."

Roster burst through the bathroom door and stormed over to the urinal. I noticed Dante out in the hall. He was rubbing his temples in frustration. Face flushed, Monique was in fast pursuit of Roster. She didn't stop at the door. I double-checked the cinch of my towel and made busy brushing.

"d.a.m.n it, Roster," Monique yelled. "Do you have any idea how much time its going to take to recast all those spells? Long-acting golems take for-ever!"

Indifferent to Monique, Roster shook off the last few drops and pulled up his sweats. "Sorry, shug. Don't worry about it. Ichi can fix him up in no time."

"That's not the point," Monique yelled. "What are you going to learn if you just lean on f.u.kimura whenever you screw up?"

"Whatever," Roster said, rolling his eyes.

Monique banged her hand against the counter and finally noticed me standing there.

I was busy sc.r.a.ping off my remaining enamel.

"Oh, hi, Dieter. Roster, this is Dieter Resnick, one of the new grubs. Dieter, this is Roster Dregs, abject failure and bane of my existence."

Roster eyed me with a devilish grin. "Yea, I saw Dracula Light bring him in. Rumor is she killed like five people on the run. Drained every last drop. That lady is rackin' up quite the body count."

It was three, a.s.shole, I thought to myself. Spitting out the toothpaste, I glared at him.

"Looks like she didn't get a bite off of Dieter here..." Roster lunged over and grabbed the towel off my waist. "Unless she went for the femoral!"

Monique shrieked and covered her eyes, leaving a rather obvious gap in her fingers. I had expected a punch or something-not this. Johnson flying free, I yelped and commenced reddening. Down the hall, a small, olive-skinned girl turned the corner to stand next to Dante (who was still busy rubbing his temples). She froze, stuck out her hand, and pointed.

"Oye, Dante. A naked man," she said. "One of the new guys?"

Dante sighed. "Yep. Dieter. Oh, and Maria, Roster broke Man-Dough again."

"That's okay, " Maria said with a giggle, "there's still plenty of man 'dough' to go around, no?"

I jumped for my towel while trying to shield my loins from Monique and Maria. It was a fine balance, and Roster's six and a half foot frame made reaching the towel near impossible. I considered a tactical retreat to my dorm room, but that would require dashing between the peepers. I would be caught in a naked pickle-not a viable option.

"Aww," Roster said, dodging, "it looks like you're clean. Not even one nibble? You must taste really bad, dude."

"I doubt that," Monique muttered.

I had to be honest with myself. This situation was rapidly spiraling into an utter disaster. I had no friggin' clue what to do, and I had a very bad feeling that my reputation was going to be a bit too colorful for my tastes, but as I tensed for another try, I did a double-take. The towel in Roster's hand had simply vanished.

"What the h.e.l.l?" I muttered.

"d.a.m.n it, Dante." Roster moaned. "Why you gotta ruin the fun?"

With a pop, Dante appeared right in front of me with my towel in his hand.

I mumbled my thanks. So that's what Dante meant by 'shrouding'...cool.

Dante shrugged and walked back to our room.

"Seriously, Roster. You are so immature," Monique lectured.

"Oh, come on, shug. It was just a little fun. Besides, I needed to make sure our newest member wasn't going to turn into an infected, blood-sucking, maniac while we slept. It was a public service."

Maria giggled.

"d.a.m.n it!" I snapped. "Shut the f.u.c.k up."

Everyone froze.

Monique covered her mouth in shock, but I wasn't even close to done.

I glared at Roster. "Rei saved my life, a.s.shole. She got her face kicked in for me. She got a collapsed lung because of me. She got f.u.c.king electrocuted because of me. Despite all that, she spotted me for a new G.o.dd.a.m.n train ticket. She even bought me a cup of coffee and a Danish...and..." I gasped for some air. "...and it was three...it was three, not five."

They were all staring back at me in shock, but I was having none of it. I had spent my day in a battle royale. Them? Molding Play-Doh. f.u.c.k them. Frustrated beyond belief, I brushed pa.s.sed Monique and headed back to my room.

"Dieter," Monique asked, her voice uncertain, "what do you mean by three, not five?"

"I mean three people. Rei didn't kill five people. She only killed three. If you're gonna be a.s.sholes about it, at least get your numbers right." I thought back to the report Rei gave Albright. "One Tier 2 magus and two, uh, minor trolls." Minor trolls...I felt ridiculous saying it. "Just don't ask me what the h.e.l.l any of that means. I have no freaking idea." I continued to my new room and threw on pair of shorts and a shirt. I had had enough. I was going to sleep. I wanted to talk to Rei tomorrow morn-evening and ask if that cabin of hers had an extra room. The moderate risk of nocturnal blood loss sounded way better than dealing with these jerks.

Finished dressing, I turned around to find the whole group of them huddled in the hallway.

I turned even redder.

"Can't you people let me change without staring at my a.s.s?"

"Dieter, did you just say two minor trolls?" Dante asked.

"Yea," I said, throwing off my bed's comforter. It was bedtime.

"Everyone, common room, now." Monique ordered. "Maria, recall our people."

"Trato hecho!" Maria said as she sped up to the stairs to the loft.

Fifteen minutes later the rest had all shown up. I recognized Ichijo f.u.kimura and Sheila Mordred from the quad. There were two new additions: a stodgy looking blond wearing wire rimmed gla.s.ses, and an elfish girl with spiked purple-black hair and giant knee-high boots. Jules Nelson and Sadie Thompson, I presumed. Eight in all.

Monique asked Maria where Rei was.

"You said recall our people."

"Maria, ya fockin' thicko," Jules said, pushing back her gla.s.ses. "Can't ya follow a simple instruction? A recall means everyone, ya dimwit."

Sadie giggled and blew a giant pink bubble. She cracked the gum with her teeth.

Maria was about to respond when Monique slammed her foot down. "Stop it," she hissed. "This is serious." Tendrils of energy coursed off of her. I wanted to do nothing more than crawl under the couch and hide.

Monique turned to me, and I swallowed.

"Dieter?"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"I want you to tell us everything that happened, please."

I regurgitated the censored version that Rei had told to Dean Albright. They asked the occasional question but generally just sat still and listened. By the end of my tale, Roster was staring at the wall, clenching and unclenching a fist. Dante had returned to rubbing his temples.

"You're totally sure Bathory said minor trolls?" Sadie asked.

"Come on Sadie, what else could have cave in her face?" Roster interjected.

"Maybe a baseball bat," Sheila offered. "An aluminum one full of lead."

"Exactly," replied Roster. "For G.o.d's sakes, she's supposed to be a Pure."

"Perhaps a bat made of Hawthorn would work better," continued Sheila.

"Oh, come on Roster, Pures don't exist," Sadie said, waving her hand dismissively. "They're either born or dead. The rest is just fo'show."

"Enough," Monique ordered. "Dieter, did the administration suspect anyone?"

I mussed my hair. I was confused. I had a.s.sumed this was all business as usual for these folks. What the heck was going on exactly? "I overheard Dean Albright on the phone. He mentioned something called Talmax."

"Aw man, that's just another stupid rumor," exclaimed Sadie.

The room erupted at that claim. The members of Lambda argued amongst themselves, rehashed old debates, pointed fingers, and flicked one another off. It boiled over into a shouting match. Maria was jumping up and down saying, "I told you! I told you!" Roster looked like he was going to burst a blood vessel.

"I knew it," he muttered. "My moms said there's been some weird s.h.i.t goin' on in LA."

Ichijo f.u.kimura sat in a corner chair, his face unreadable. I wondered what was going on in his head.

He must have noticed me staring. He smiled warmly and walked over.

"You have not slept for a long time, yes, Resnick?"

I nodded.

"Then you should rest, yes?"

That was the most sensible thing anyone had said all day. I stood, and f.u.kimura walked me to my room.