Tina hugged her tighter. "You're scaring me. Just tell me what's wrong. We'll deal with whatever it is together."

Gina sat up and hugged her legs to her chest. She couldn't stop crying. Just the thought of saying the words had her gasping for breath between sobs. This was her worst nightmare come true. She'd spent her life protecting Tina so she would never have to know the truth of what her parents had done. "Please, don't make me do this."

Tina put her arm around her and rested her head against Gina's. "If you don't tell me, Sam will. I'd much rather hear it from you."

Gina took a half dozen tissues from the box on her bedside table and wiped her face. She tried to get her breathing under control. "When you were two, Momma had a baby boy, she called him Rafael."

"Oh G.o.d, did he die?"

"No." Telling her that their brother died would have been easier than telling her the truth. Sam might know the facts, but he had no idea about the particulars. If he had, he never would have put her in this untenable position. She just had to get through this. There was no way to avoid it. She took a deep breath and said the words she'd never spoken to anyone before. "Things at home were never good, but when Mama was pregnant, it was really bad. We were living in a week-to-week dump of a hotel in Harlem. Papa was making Mama walk the streets to pay for his drugs, and when she got pregnant, he treated her like she'd cheated on him. Everyone knew the baby wasn't his. After Mama brought Rafael home, she started drinking, and Papa was always using. I tried to take care of Rafael, but Papa hated him. Whenever he wasn't stoned, all he did was say he wanted to get rid of the little b.a.s.t.a.r.d."

"What happened?"

"Papa sold Rafael for drug money."

Tina crossed herself. "Oh G.o.d. No. How? People just don't sell babies."

Gina stared at the wall and rocked. "Yeah, they do." She stopped for a moment and tried to get the image of Papa ripping Rafael from her arms out of her head. "I did my best to take care of him, I really did. I fed and changed him when there was food and diapers. I tried to keep him quiet so Papa wouldn't get mad. A week or two after Mama came home with Rafael, Papa got you and me dressed up in our best clothes. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I wore this little red dress Mama bought at the Salvation Army. It still had the tags on it from Macy's. I thought it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. You had on a frilly pink dress you hated because the lace was scratchy."

She took a deep breath and held Tina's hand. She was shaking. "He had us stand next to the door when a man and a woman came in. They gave Papa a stack of hundred dollar bills and took Rafael from me. That's when Papa tried to sell us too."

The tears started again and she swallowed hard. "I hit him and kicked him. I couldn't let him take you too. I tried to get Rafael, but Papa threw me into the wall. My head was bleeding, my ears were ringing, and I couldn't see straight, but I was able to grab you, run into the bathroom, and lock the door. I heard them say they didn't want us because we were too old. When Papa came after us, he told me we were worthless, he couldn't even give us away. He took the money and left. Mama just kept drinking. She never stopped after that."

"I can't believe you never told me."

"I couldn't. Don't you see, this was all my fault?"

"Gina, you were six."

"Maybe if I'd taken better care of him-"

"There was nothing you could have done. You've been carrying this around all your life? You were a child. You never should have had to take care of anyone, not me or Rafael. Papa probably did him a favor, so stop blaming yourself. There was nothing you could have done."

"I never wanted you to feel like I did, like I do. I let him down. I couldn't take care of him. I need to find him."

Tina rocked her, holding on tight. "Gina, I understand why you didn't tell me when I was young, but you should have once Sam and I were together. He could have helped us find Rafael."

"I lost Rafael and I need to find him." She grabbed another handful of tissues and wiped the tears away. "That's why I married Ben. I knew that with the money, I'd be able to hire someone to find our brother. I just have to know he's okay."

"We'll find him together."

Gina heard Ben's voice and wanted to throw up. She probably would have if she'd had anything in her stomach.

Gina and Tina both turned white.

Ben ignored Tina who ran into Sam's arms and they backed out of the door. Of course, Gina wasn't that easy. "You didn't think I'd stay downstairs when you were so upset, did you? Sweetheart, I love you. I told you I wasn't going anywhere."

He wanted to pick her up and hold her. Ben was so mad he was shaking. He hoped her father was dead because if Ben ever found the b.a.s.t.a.r.d, he'd make it his life's mission to string him up and watch him die a slow and painful death.

Ben sat beside her on their bed. "I'll do whatever you need. We can hire a team of investigators. I promise I'll find him."

"The only thing I want from you is a divorce." Gina was deadly calm, almost emotionless. "You can have your money back. Sam, Tina, and I can be out of the house tomorrow. Just let me sign the ranch over to you and end this."

"You don't mean that."

Gina looked him in the eye. "I do. Now go. I'll call my lawyer in the morning, have her transfer the deed to you, and send you a check. I don't want your money, the house, any of it. I just want you to leave and forget you ever knew me."

Ben didn't know what hit him. She couldn't mean this. G.o.d, but she looked him in the eye and said it. "Gina, please don't do this to us."

"There is no us. There never was, not really. Please, just leave."

"No." He shook his head and he wondered if he'd imagined everything they had together. "We can work this out."

"There's nothing to work out. You'll get the ranch and I'll get a divorce. That was the deal. Please, for once, live up to your end of the bargain."

Ben knew he'd lost her, if he ever had her in the first place. He couldn't give a s.h.i.t about the d.a.m.n ranch, the house, and the money. All he wanted was Gina, and nothing he said would change her stubborn mind. The only person who could do that was Gina.

"Fine, I'll live up to my end if you live up to yours. You keep the money and the house. They're yours. I won't take them back." He got up and took one last look at his wife. "I'll have my lawyer draw up the papers."

Tears streamed down Gina's face and every one hit him like a bullet to the heart.

"I love you. That's not going to change. Not ever. I might walk out that door, and since you're insisting, I'll give you a divorce, but I'll never stop loving you."

The last time Ben had felt pain this bad was when his grandfather told him his parents were dead. He never thought anything could beat that. This was too close to call. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs when he saw Sam. "She wants a divorce. Tell her if she moves out of this house and sends me the money, I'll hold up the divorce for all eternity. I don't want her to ever worry about money. Do you understand me?"

Sam nodded. "Maybe she'll change her mind."

Ben shook his head in defeat. "Have you ever known Gina to change her mind?" When Sam didn't answer, he nodded. "I didn't think so. Take care of her for me, Sam. You have my number. If you or Gina ever need anything, all you have to do is call."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too."

"Ben, the phone works both ways. If you need anything-"

"The only thing I need is Gina. But thanks, Sam." He turned and walked out before he did something embarra.s.sing like start crying.

Gina watched Ben walk out for the last time. He closed the door softly behind him and she pulled a pillow to her chest and cried. Letting him go was the hardest thing she'd ever done, even harder than telling Tina about Rafael. It was the right thing to do. Ben deserved better than her. He was probably thanking his lucky stars, and even if he wasn't, he'd forget her soon enough. They all did.

Tina knocked. Gina couldn't take any more talking, she just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. "Please, just leave me alone."

Tina pushed open the door. "Good luck with that. Ben left and said if we move out, he won't divorce you. I say we start packing."

"No, we'll do what he wants for now. Once the divorce is final, I'll sell the house, take all the proceeds and everything else he's given me, and send it to Joe. He'll make sure Ben gets it. I'll figure out another way to find Rafael. Maybe I can get a second job."

"Gina, why are you doing this? I know you're in love with him. He's in love with you, which, in my book, is a minor miracle since we both know you're not an easy woman to love. He's got it all, girlfriend, and he's definitely not gay. Why are you divorcing the man?"

"I don't love him. Do me a favor, take care of Jasmine for me, and go. I just want to be left alone."

"Gina-"

"Tina, please. Just leave me alone."

"I don't do dogs. Jasmine is your problem. Sam and I will be downstairs if you need us."

"I don't need anyone, why can't anyone understand that? Please, just go."

She heard the click of the door closing; she picked Jasmine up, lay in her bed, and cried. She felt as if she'd been beaten. Everything hurt.

Ben drove back to the city. He walked into his apartment and looked around maybe for the first time since returning to New York and wondered how he'd ever lived here. It looked sterile.

"It's about time you got here. I've been waitin' for you, boy."

When Ben heard his grandfather's voice, he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Who let you in?"

"That nice little partner of yours, Annabelle. It's nice to know one woman still likes me." Joe walked past him headed toward the kitchen. "I sure as h.e.l.l hope you have something to eat in this house. I haven't had a decent meal since Gina left."

"You flew all the way out here to eat? I know there are great restaurants right in Boise. You even own a few of them."

"Kate's on strike. She wouldn't feed me or do anything except tell me what an a.s.s I am. She had no problem doing that, and I won't mention what she said about you. She wouldn't even give me the tree-bark m.u.f.fins and rabbit food she's always trying to push on me. I had to come here to get away from her."

"Lucky me."

"What do you want me to do? h.e.l.l, I've been eatin' beans for a week-they're the only thing I know how to cook-and let me just say, they ain't agreein' with me. It's gettin' ugly, boy, and I'm down to my last pair of shorts. I went to Humpin' Hannah's yesterday to get a hamburger, and Karma wouldn't even serve me. It's just not fittin'."

Ben went to the bar and fixed himself a drink. "It serves you right. That stunt you pulled wrecked my marriage."

Joe came out of the kitchen with a box of leftover Chinese food and a fork. "You can't blame me for that. You wrecked your marriage all by your lonesome. I was just trying to keep you two together and you threw a monkey wrench in my plans. How was I to know you would do something as stupid as accusing your wife of using me? As if she could even if she wanted to, which she didn't. That little girl doesn't have a dishonest bone in her body, and if you think she does, you don't deserve her or the ranch."

Ben took a swig of his scotch. "Do me a favor, Gramps, just leave me the h.e.l.l alone. I don't need you coming down on me too." He took the bottle and his gla.s.s and headed to his room. He hoped his grandfather wouldn't follow him in.

"You know where the guest room is, Gramps. The washer and dryer is in the hall closet. The directions are on the detergent. Since you're so smart, you should have no problem figuring out how to use it."

"Oh, are you gonna lock yourself in your room again and sulk? What you need to do is stop drinking yourself into a stupor and figure out a way to get your wife back."

Ben shut the door and stared at his big empty room. He thought about going back to the ranch. Gina wouldn't kick him out of there. Besides, it wasn't as if she'd know or even care where he was. But the thought of being at the ranch without her just made him feel worse. At least here there weren't many memories of her.

Ben's cell phone rang as he sat on the bed. He looked to see who it was. "Yeah, Trapper, what do you need?"

"I was wondering how things were going, and I wanted to tell you that Grandpa Joe is missing."

"No he's not. He's here. Thank Kate for me, would you? Like I really needed Gramps camping at my place telling me what an idiot I am. As if I'm not doing a good enough job of it on my own. Gina wants a divorce."

"So, what are you going to do about it?"

"What can I do? I'm afraid if I fight her on it she'll move out of the house and throw the money back in my face."

"That's not a problem for most men when they're talking divorce."

Ben lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. "I don't want a divorce, and I don't want her struggling either. She needs the money, and the last thing I want is for her to be hurting any more than she already is. I f.u.c.ked up royally."

"Yeah, that's what I heard. It's over? You're giving up?"

"I don't have a choice, Trap. It's killing me, but it's what she wants."

"Are you coming home and heading to the ranch?"

"No. I don't know what the h.e.l.l I'm doing except maybe getting drunk."

Trapper laughed. "Oh, well that will definitely help matters."

"You have a better idea?"

"You need to give Gina what she wants."

"I just did. All she wants is a divorce and never to see me again."

"Man, that's harsh. Okay, drink and wallow for a few days. When you get sick of that and yourself, sober up and give me a call. We'll put our heads together and see if there's any way to get you and your wife back together."

"I wish there was a way, but it's over. She looked me in the eye and told me. She wasn't lying about that, Trap. Now all I have to do is figure out how to live without her."

"You will, eventually. It might take five years, but you will."

Ben couldn't help but wonder how Trapper seemed to know so much about surviving a breakup. "Thanks for the pep talk. It's a good thing you're a judge and not a psychologist."

"Yeah, tell me about it. Facts are a whole lot easier to deal with than feelings. Let me know if there's anything I can do."

"You can talk to Kate and see if she'll get Gramps to go back home."

"I'll do anything but that. I'm one of the few men not on Mom's s.h.i.t list. I love you like a brother, but when it comes to Mom and Grandpa Joe, you're on your own."

"Well, d.a.m.n, what good are you then?"

"Mom and Karma have been keeping in touch with Gina. If they let anything slip, I'll give you a heads up, but that's about the best I can do."

"I guess that's something. I have to go. All this talking is keeping me from drinking."

Ben flipped his phone shut and poured another gla.s.s of scotch.

Chapter 17.