We all know the story of the shepherd boy who cried wolf. The boy decided to have some fun at the expense of the villagers. He shouted, "Help, help, the wolf is here." The villagers heard him and came to his rescue. But when they got there, they saw no wolf and the boy laughed at them. They went away. The next day, the boy played the same trick and the same thing happened.

Then one day, while the boy was taking care of his sheep he actually saw a wolf and shouted for help. The people in the village heard him but this time n.o.body came to his rescue. They thought it was another trick and didn't trust him anymore. He lost his sheep to the wolf. What is the moral of the story?

The moral of the story is

When people tell lies, they lose credibility.

Once they have lost credibility, even when they tell the truth, no one believes them.

The Quality of a Good Character is Honesty

Truth can be misrepresented in two ways:

1. Incomplete facts or information 2. Exaggeration

BEWARE OF HALF-TRUTHS OR MISREPRESENTATION OF TRUTHS.

There was a sailor who worked on the same boat for three years. One night he got drunk.

This was the first time it ever happened. The captain recorded it in the log, "The sailor was drunk tonight." The sailor read it, and he knew this comment would affect his career, so he went to the captain, apologized and asked the captain to add that it only happened once in three years which was the complete truth. The captain refused and said, "What I have written in the log is the truth."

The next day it was the sailor's turn to fill in the log. He wrote, "The captain was sober tonight." The captain read the comment and asked the sailor to change or add to it explaining the complete truth because this implied that the captain was drunk every other night. The sailor told the captain that what he had written in the log was the truth.

Both statements were true but they conveyed misleading messages;

Exaggeration

123*Exaggeration does two things:

1. It weakens a person's case and makes him lose credibility.

2. It is like an addiction. It becomes a habit. Some people can't tell the truth without exaggerating.

Be Sincere

Sincerity is a matter of intent and hard to prove. We can achieve our goals by having a sincere desire to help others.

Stay Away from Pretense

Asking a friend in trouble, "Is there anything I can do for you," is really annoying. It is more of an eyewash and pretense. If you really want to help, think of something appropriate to be done and then do it.

Many people put on the cloak of sincerity more out of selfishness than substance, hoping that some day they could claim the right to receive help.

Stay away from meaningless and phony pleasantries.

Caution--Sincerity is no measure of good judgment. Someone could be sincere, yet wrong.

ACTIONS; SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.

WHICH LOVED BEST?.

"I love you, Mother," said little John; Then, forgetting his work, his cap went on, And he was off to the garden swing, And left her the water and wood to bring.

"I love you, Mother," said rosy Nell-- "I love you better than tongue can tell"; Then she teased and pouted full half the day, Till her mother rejoiced when she went to play.

"I love you, Mother," said little Fan; "Today I'll help you all I can; How glad I am that school doesn't keep!"

So she rocked the babe till it fell asleep.

Then, stepping softly, she fetched the broom, And swept the floor and tidied the room; Busy and happy all day was she, Helpful and happy as child could be.

"I love you, Mother," again they said, Three little children going to bed; 124*How do you think that mother guessed Which of them really loved her best?

--Joy Allison*

Maintain Integrity

Ancient wisdom says, "Anything that is bought or sold has no value unless it contains the secret, priceless ingredient-that, what cannot be traded." What is it? The secret, priceless ingredient of every product is the credibility, the honor and integrity of the one who makes it. It is not so secret but it is priceless.

Here is Another Side to Integrity--Questionable

Three executives were fighting over who would pay the bill for lunch. One said, "I will pay, I can get a tax deduction." The other said, "Let me have it, I will get reimburs.e.m.e.nt from my company." The third said, "Let me pay, because I am filing for bankruptcy next week."

Step 20: Practice Humility

Confidence without humility is arrogance. Humility is the foundation of all virtues. It is a sign of greatness. Sincere humility attracts but false humility detracts.

* In The Book of Virtues, edited by William J. Bennett, Simon & Schuster, New York, 1993, p. 204.

125*Many years ago, a rider came across some soldiers who were trying to move a heavy log without success. The corporal was standing by as the men struggled. The rider asked the corporal why he wasn't helping. The corporal replied, "I am the corporal; i give orders."

The rider dismounted, went up and stood by the soldiers and as they were lifting the log, he helped them. With his help, the log got moved. The rider quietly mounted his horse and went to the corporal and said, "The next time your men need help, send for the Commander-in-Chief." After he left, the corporal and his men found out that the rider was George Washington.

The message is pretty clear. Success and humility go hand in hand. When others blow your horn, the sound goes further. Just think about it? Simplicity and humility are two hallmarks of greatness. Humility does not mean self-demeaning behavior. That would amount to belittling oneself.

Step 21: Be Understanding and Caring

In relationships we all make mistakes and sometimes we are insensitive to the needs of others, especially those very close to us. All this leads to disappointment and resentment.

The answer to handling disappointment is understanding.

Relationships don't come about because people are perfect. They come about because of understanding.

There is more gratification in being a caring person than in just being a nice person. A caring att.i.tude builds goodwill which is the best kind of insurance that a person can have and it doesn't cost a thing.

Some people subst.i.tute money for caring and understanding. Being understanding is far more important than money and the best way to be understood is to be understanding.

And the basis of real communication is also to be understanding.

Practice Generosity

It is a sign of emotional maturity. Being generous is being thoughtful and considerate without being asked. Generous people experience the richness of life which a selfish person cannot even dream of.

Be considerate; selfishness brings its own revenge. Be sensitive to other people's feelings.

Be Tactful

Tact is very important in any relationship. Tact is the ability to make a point without alienating the other person.

Kindness

Money will buy a great dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail. It is never too soon for kindness because we don't know how soon is too late.

Kindness is a language the deaf can hear and the blind can see. It is better to treat a friend with kindness while he is living than display flowers on his grave when he is dead.

An act of kindness makes a person feel good regardless of whether he is doing it or it is done to him. Kind words never hurt the tongue.

126*

Step 22: Practice Courtesy on a Daily Basis