"I suppose that could be the case. I confess that Breanna surprised me phenomenally the other night. However-"

"So now it's our turn to surprise her. She'll appreciate it Believe me. she will "

"Surprise her?"

Pia considered, then changed the subject for a moment. "Okay. Let's go tell the others." She paused. "But don't tell them this "

"Don't-?"

"This." She put her arms around him. hauled his face down, and kissed him soundly on the mouth.

He stood hallway stunned "I, ah-"

"And when you do that to her," she continued, not yet breaking the embrace, "do this too."

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

She caught his right hand and cupped it in her left hand. She carried it around behind her. "This." She squeezed his hand, making his fingers gently pinch her left b.u.t.tock.

He did not quite freak out, but it was a close call. She put his limp hand back by his side and stepped away from him. Then she led him back toward the entrance. They had work to do.

Chapter 6: MODEMODE.

In the morning Nimby and Chlorine struggled with new Mundane clothing, and helped each other look presentable. They went downstairs just as their Companions arrived to guide them through breakfast.

"Now we need to show you how to ride the Lemon," Dug said. "But first, maybe we'd better tackle the Modemode."

"The what?" Chlorine asked.

"The GigaGrid. It goes by various names and nicknames. It covers the world, but you need a modem to access it, so we call it the modem mode, or Mode M Mode, or Modemode. Three syllables. We met you there in the O-zone of the magic mesh address of the Mundane Mega Mesh, or mmm, of the Grid. I realize it's confusing at first, but it does make sense in its fashion, once you get the hang of it."

"Zone-mesh-grid-mode." Chlorine said, working it out. "All steps of a stairway "

"Yes," Dug said. "Mdmd://mmm.inm.o-one.breanna That's where we found you. Now we need to be sure you know the way back, because if you should ever be in trouble, that's your escape route. You can reach it from any modem, not just this one. So you can travel anywhere in Mundania, and switch back when you have to; no need to do it from this site. But the mesh is fun in its own right, and you might as well enjoy it. So we figure to take you in for the check-in, then give you a small tour of the Modemode."

They went in. Chlorine sat in Pia's seat, and Nimby in Edsel's, with Kim and Dug standing behind them for guidance. Chlorine followed the labyrinth, picking out the letters on the keyboard, invoking the modem spell, which was a.s.sociated with something called a browser and a provider, then M D M D : // and on. She had to give Pia's ident.i.ty, and Pia's pa.s.sword, "insulin," before being granted admission. When she got to the magic mesh, there she was in the familiar hall, and there was Nimby with her.

Breanna wasn't in her Leaf, but they left their check-in message. Probably she hadn't made it in yet, because there were fewer mesh connections in Xanth. and Breanna might have forgotten about the Ear. But Nimby and Chlorine had done their part. The message would respond automatically when the others checked in; the magic of the O-Xone would see to that.

Kim made Chlorine go back to the screen and keyboard in the house, then to the magic mesh again, making sure she knew the route. Dug did the same with Nimby. Then they went exploring elsewhere in the mesh. "The browser enables you to go places." Kim explained "We use Exsc.r.a.pe and Mundania Inline."

"Inline?"

"You have to wait in line often. Sometimes you can't get in at all, but they still charge you plenty. Let's go to a babble box."

"A what?"

"It's a place where people can meet and talk on the Grid. Friendships are made there, romances flourish, and fights occur. It's a lot of fun."

"In fact, many people are ensnared in it." Dug added. "Typing their lives away. They can't leave; babbling has become their lives."

Chlorine wasn't sure about Mundane fun or living, but went along. After all, anyone who put eye to gourd peephole in Xanth was similarly caught, until someone else broke the connection. Folk simply had to learn to be careful.

"I know what you're thinking," Dug said. "And you're right: there's even a Through the Gourd Home Leaf"

Kim guided her to "lumber on" to a GigaGrid Alternating Babble, or GAB. where the gabbing occurred. They went to GABfest and merged.

She had to a.s.sume a persona, and decided on "Poison." because of her magic talent of poisoning water. The interaction was in the form of words on the screen. Kim had to reach in and type for her, because she could not do it fast enough.

She "signed" the guestbook, and it started.

Poison? Someone called Fun Gus typed. LOL!

"That means Laughing Out Loud." Kim said. "You'd better come back with some clever rejoinder."

Well I do it only to water, Chlorine replied with Kim's help.

You pee in water?

"Oh, he's one of those" Kim said with disgust. "Change the subject."

Chlorine did. What's your talent?

I make things fun, Gus replied. How old are you?

"Watch it." Kim warned. "He's a prowler."

But Chlorine answered. Twenty two. That was Pia's age. Why do you want to know?

How about a date?

"Don't get too friendly with this predator." Kim said.

I'm out of dates. Will you accept a pineapple?"

l.m.f.a.o!.

"Never mind that that means," Kim said. "Dump him."

"No. I want to know." She typed l.m.f.a.o?

A picture appeared It showed one donkey mounting another, but the one below was laughing so hard that the other was falling off. "Oh. donkeys," Chlorine said. She had liked them ever since Nimby first appeared to her in the form of a dragon with a donkey head. "But I still don't understand what they're doing."

"Never mind!" Kim said urgently. "Break off this dialogue." A new name appeared: Moon Shine. Hi, Poison. I make women look better in the full moon. Is this creep bothering you? Don't b.u.t.t in, fertilizer face! Gus typed angrily.

"'Fertilizer' isn't exactly the word he typed." Kim said. "The babble box automatically translates any objectionable terms," No, this is interesting, Chlorine replied. How about going priv for modering? Gus inquired.

"Don't do it!" Kim said.

"What does it mean?"

"Going private-that is to some other chamber where others aren't watching-for modem s.e.x."

"Modem what?"

"Where you talk dirty to each other. Having pretend s.e.x. The Grid is clogged with dirty old men of all ages who want to get their verbal or written hands on young Mesh. That's what you are."

Chlorine considered. "But it's not real, is it? I mean it's just talk."

"Talk can lead to desire for the real thing. That can put marriages in peril. I don't think Nimby would appreciate your doing that with someone else."

"I suppose not. How do I end this9"

"I'll do it." Kim typed rapidly. No thanks. Go do it with your laughing donkey.

That's telling him, Moon Shine said approvingly. You wouldn't like him IRL.

"What's that?"

"In real life," Kim said. "Now let's move on."

Nice meeting you, Moon, Kim typed. Thanks for rescuing this newbie.

"Newbie?"

"New to the babble box. That's why Gus was. .h.i.tting on you. None of the regs will touch him."

"Regs?"

"Regular folk of this region. But I don't think we will need to come here again. You've seen how it works."

"I like it. You're right: it's fun."

They exited the Mesh and the Grid, and were back in the house. Dug and Nimby came from the other room. "That was some dialogue you had!" Dug said "I recognized Kim's touch. She doesn't like Mesh moochers."

"True," Kim said "If they want it so bad, let them pay through the nose for phone s.e.x."

"Through the-"

"It's expensive." Kim said, frowning.

"Now it's time for the Lemon," Dug said. "Nimby. I mean Ed, you seem to catch on quite rapidly. Do you think you can handle a two wheeled machine after I demonstrate it?"

Nimby nodded.

They went to the garage where the machine lurked. It looked like half a car. Dug wheeled it out and bestrode it. "This is Edsel's Lemon motorcycle. Here is how you start it." he said He pushed with his toot, and the motor came alive "This is how it moves." He started it moving, and it carried him down the drive and onto the road beyond. He looped around and returned to the house.

Then Dug had Nimby get behind him. and the two rode off, discussing the ways of the motorcycle "Ed and Pia ride all over on that thing." Kim said. "I don't feel easy on one of those monsters, but maybe you'll like it better."

"It doesn't look worse than riding a dragon." Chlorine said.

After a time, the motorcycle returned Sure enough, Nimby was now in front, and seemed to be handling it competently. "Your turn." Kim murmured.

"Oh. I couldn't make it work." Chlorine said.

"Your turn to ride in back." Kim clarified. "To make sure all is well."

Dug got off and Chlorine got on behind Nimby. The machine started moving. The ride was different from that of a dragon, but she found she could handle it. She put her arms around Nimby's waist and enjoyed the ride.

They went out on the road, and gained speed. The wind took her hair. She was amazed at the velocity; this was faster than a dragon!

They slowed. She saw that it was because of a red light that hung above an intersection. Nimby had learned the rules of the road. "I like this," she said as they resumed motion.

They returned to the house, where Dug and Kim waited. "We can handle it," Chlorine called.

"There's one other thing you should know about on the Mesh." Kim said "Xanth is there."

"The O-Xone." Chlorine agreed.

"No. this is an emulation Xanth, not magical It consists of a group of people who a.s.sume Xanthly personae, much as the folk in the Babble Boxes have nicknames, only their names are limited to Xanth folk."

"Oh?" Chlorine asked. "Do they have any real connection to their Xanth counterparts?" They had agreed not to refer to Xanth by name, but this did not seem feasible in practice, and maybe it didn't matter.

"They like to think so, but I don't think there's any solid evidence that they do. Come on: I'll take you there, and you can meet yourself."

"But there's only one of me," Chlorine said, not quite pleased. Kim smiled. "You were not in Mundania to pre-empt the name, so she got it. But be a.s.sured that she means you no harm. I just don't think you should challenge her about the name, because you are here anonymously. You'll have to a.s.sume some other Xanth name, to enter the Xanth Xone."

"This is ridiculous."

Dug stepped in. "Think of it this way: Xanth natives have the infinite privilege of actually living in Xanth. Mundanes are stuck forever in drear Mundania. This is one of the few ways they can relate, to get at least the trace of a notion what it might be like to be among the blessed. Can you begrudge them that faint fond illusion?"

Chlorine glanced at Kim. "He has a certain talent for persuasion."

"I had suspected that." Kim said with two eighths of a smile. "I think that's why I married him."

"Well, you started it," Dug told her. "When you kissed me."

"Oh. you always bring that up'" she flared, with eleven sixteenths of a smile.

"Yeah. I bet you don't dare do it again."

"You lose." Kim kissed Dug hard and long.