We should throw a party, Imp said. Celebrate. Rub it in a little.

Rub it in? Grue asked.

Yeah. Party in the streets, maybe some fireworks. Show the heroes that we know we won and were doing fine.

There were a few chuckles from the others. Regent and the Travelers, primarily.

In what way is that even close to being a sensible idea? Grue asked.

I didnt say it was sensible. But its fun, and thats why we got into this, right?

No. No it isnt. It was maybe a side-bonus when I joined the group, if anything, but things have changed since then. I warned you this would be hard work, that it wouldnt be fun and games. And throwing a party to celebrate a win is a monumentally bad idea when we dont even want the heroes to know we consider this victory anything out of the ordinary.

It is out of the ordinary. Were not giving anything away if were celebrating scaring off Dragon.

I kind of have to agree, Regent chimed in. Grue turned his way, and I could imagine the death glare that was behind his mask. Probably scarier than the mask itself.

Maybe youre right, Grue said, Maybe, I wont say youre absolutely right there-

Of course not, Imp said, sighing.

-But we definitely dont need to rub it in the heroes noses. Not if it means they have both an excuse and motivation to try this again, sooner.

If youre afraid of that, well never be able to celebrate a win.

Im okay with that, Grue said.

Do we get to chime in? Trickster asked. Because Im siding with the Imp, here. Morale could become pretty important if were going to be building up individual gangs and collections of henchmen.

Grue sighed. Feeling outnumbered here. Skitter?

What? I blinked. Sorry, not keeping track of the conversation.

Shes out of it. Tattletale broke Skitter when she said we won, Regent said.

Im Im alright. Lost in thought

Grue settled a hand on my shoulder. I couldnt read his expression with his mask in the way.

I sighed and confessed, Im I guess Im waiting for the other shoe to drop. Isnt that what happens? The second things start to go right, the next disaster strikes? Empire Eighty-Eight, Leviathan, The Nine, Dragon

Thats a pretty defeatist way of thinking, Trickster commented. Didnt Tattletale basically say that theres nobody left to cause us any problems?

Theres always something, I said. Id rather anticipate it and be ready.

Look at it this way, Genesis spoke. She was in a human-ish form, not unlike her real self, though she was wheelchair-free. If its more dangerous than Leviathan, the Nine or the Dragon suits, theres no way we can make some plan to deal with them until they make the first move. If theyre less dangerous, we can deal. Relax. Were in good shape.

I shrugged.

Sooo, Imp drew out the word, Party?

No, Grue and I spoke at the same time. Imp groaned.

Coil told us to check on our territories. We should do that, I said. Take your costumes off, take it easy. Im going to see if the food and drink Id arranged to go to people in my territory is still okay, and make sure that they get fed and dont have cause to lynch me. Then Im probably going to sleep for twelve straight hours.

Wait, didnt you just say no party? Imp asked.

Its not a party. Its something I was doing before the Dragon suits came.

Do the heroes know that?

Dragon could confirm it, I said. She disrupted the preparations.

Dunno, that sounds pretty flimsy, Imp said, sounding way too pleased with herself, Maybe you better cancel, just to be safe.

Imp, Grue growled the word.

Imp laughed, Ill go patrol our territory. Ill be using my power, so no worries about being seen in costume.

Coil said we shouldnt go out in costume at all, I said. I thought that part of the message was pretty clear.

Fine, Imp said. Whatever. If Im not supposed to do anything, Im going back to our place, gonna to kick back and catch up on some shitty reality shows.

No TV, Grue said.

Nuh uh. No way. If you two want to play hardass mom and dad and be controlling assholes, okay. But you cant tell me I cant watch T.V.

I mean you wont get any channels. Theres no cable, no digital connection and no satellite. Only static.

Imp groaned, an agonized sound one might expect from someone who had just been speared through the gut.

What did it say about me that my metaphors were tending towards that kind of violent imagery?

Why dont you come by? Regent asked her, Play video games? Ive got shows on DVD. No shitty reality shows, but stuff.

I looked Grues way to gauge his reaction to Imp and Regent hanging out, only for our eyes to meet, so to speak. We were thinking the same thing.

I dont think- Grue started to speak.

Imp wheeled on him, jabbing a finger in his direction, Enough! You dont dictate how I live my life!

No fighting, please, Sundancer said, from the sidelines, Weve been through too much already.

Grue stepped forward, raising one hand, but Imp didnt give him a chance to touch her, backing away, swinging one hand through the air, as if to swat his hand away if he tried. Youve said enough! You dont want me to celebrate my first legit win where I was actually fucking useful? Fine! Dont want me to go on patrol? Fine! Ill accept that shit because Ill take orders from the guy who actually pays me. But if youre going to whine because I want to play video games with a teammate, Im not going to stand here and listen to it! Deal!

If youd just- Grue started. He stopped and sighed.

What? I asked.

I was going to say something, he said, turning around. But I cant remember what.

We experienced a moment where the conversation died, where nobody was sure what to say next, and nobody was able to tie things back to the prior conversation to resume an earlier topic.

We did what we were supposed to do, Trickster said, finally. Good work. Skitters right. Lets go retreat, tend to any wounds, and well take a breather.

There were nods and murmurs of assent from everyone present, myself included.

More to his team than the rest of us, Trickster said, Im located closest to Coil, so Im stopping by, going to check on Noelle, see if Tattletale needs help setting our captive Director free, and then Ill talk to Coil about his progress with our issues.

Dont get on his case, Genesis said. Whatever his plan is, hes under a lot of pressure right now. Id rather wait another few days and then talk about it with him than push it now and risk upsetting him.

The difference between us, Trickster said, terse, is Im not willing to wait.

With that said, he tipped his hat at me and walked away. He wasnt three paces out the door before he found something to swap with, leaving a mailbox at the malls edge. The rest of the Travelers began to file off.

Ill be off too, Regent said. He offered me a sloppy mock-salute, Good work, chief.

I winced at that. I hadnt wanted to raise the subject of me taking over as leader for the previous confrontation. I glanced at Grue and found him looking at me.

Can we talk? he asked. Thanks, Regent.

Yeah, I said.

We did make plans.

Youre dating? Bitch asked.

I didnt say that, Grue said.

But youre dating.

Yeah, he admitted. Bitch looked at me to double check and I nodded.

Hm. She somehow conveyed smugness with the monosyllablic response.

You want to come? I asked her. Hang out?

Nah.

You sure? I asked. Youre welcome to spend some time with us, kick back, watch something, eat some good food?

Being around peoples too tiring. Warm night like this, nice weather, figure Ill go play with my dogs. Make sure they arent too hurt, throw a few balls for em in the moonlight, eat when I want to eat, sleep when I feel like sleeping, not having to worry about getting in anyones way.

You wouldnt be getting in the way, I assured her.

Its all good. Im happiest doing this.

Well, stay in touch. If you feel like some company, come by again?

She shrugged and turned to leave, Bentley to her right and Bastard to her left. With every step Bentley was taking, he was getting larger. When she was nearly out of sight, Bentley was big enough for her to climb on top of.

Leaving Grue and me standing in the mall.

Id almost think you didnt want to spend time alone with me, he commented.

He was looking at me. I felt scrutinized, like every movement and every part of me was suddenly under the spotlight, anything I did potentially being read as meaning something.

No, I said, very carefully. Not exactly. I just didnt want to hurt him by taking away his role on the team, and I knew it would come up. I tucked my hair behind the spot where the armor of my mask covered my ear. No. Being alone together is good.

Your place? he asked.

Yeah.

My people were active in my territory, but they were busier cleaning up the mess than they were actually getting stuff done. It was irritating on a lot of levels. Wed been accomplishing something, and Dragon had interrupted. Were in the world on the other side of the looking glass, I thought, where its the heroes who get in the way of progress and recovery.

I could understand why Dragon did it. I wasnt saying it was her fault, exactly. Especially if it wasnt actually her directing the suits. But it was still irritating.

The silence between us was a tense one. I wished Bitch had decided to come along. Not because it would have generated conversation, but because it would have put off the subject of discussing team leadership, and the third wheel would have made for a reason for the quiet. Was it bad of me to think about using her like that? Or was it just accepting that she made an uncomfortable silence comfortable by her very nature?

I used my power to scout for any groups of people as we made our way to the beach. We werent supposed to be out in costume, but we didnt have any great options at this point. I figured Coil would forgive us this much. We entered the storm drain and made our way up to my lair.

Charlotte and Sierra looked surprised to see us as I opened the door. Charlotte had three kids sitting on the couch with her, while Sierra reclined. She rose to a sitting position.

What happened? Sierra asked. She glanced nervously at Grue.

I saw Charlotte and the kids had plates on their laps. The pork wed been cooking earlier in the day. I headed for the fridge and found a hunk of it wrapped in cling film. The PRT didnt like the fact that wed claimed control over Brockton Bay, so they sent in seven Dragon suits to root us out.

What do you want us to do? She asked.

Nothing. Its fine. Stick to business as usual. Im glad you managed to get back to the food in time to make sure it finished cooking alright. Any other problems?

We didnt get a lot of work done, Charlotte said.

We werent going to anyways, I said, Thats fine. Im going to grab some food. Grue, you want any?

Yeah. Please.

Seven Dragon suits? Sierra said. If they come back-

Theyre dealt with, Grue said. Was the surprise on Sierra and Charlottes faces because of what Grue had said, or was it the way hed said it with such confidence in his strange, echoey voice?

I set two servings worth of the pork onto one plate and put it in the microwave. They may come back, but thatll be a little while coming. What Im worried about is my territory. Were people upset?

Yeah, Sierra said. A few people got shocked by those floating flying saucer things.

The drones, I said. My heart sank a little. My promise to protect my people had been broken yet again.

Yeah. Drones. People were pissed. They were trying to get the drones, catch them in trash cans, but the wings got in the way, so they started using tarps. They even got hold of a few before the drones started fighting back.

Grue gave me a look that I couldnt read. Stupid masks.

Anyone seriously hurt?

Sierra shook her head.

Ok, good. Listen, Im going to be working from the background these next few days. I wont be appearing anywhere in costume or overtly using my powers. Are you okay with keeping things running smoothly? Ill be available by phone if you run into any problems.

I, um, I dont know.

I opened the microwave and withdrew the plate of smoking, herb-rubbed pork. Whats the problem?

Im worried people are going to recognize me, and itll get around to the people I know.

Im not asking you to do anything criminal. Im just looking for someone I can trust enough to put in a management role. Make sure things are cleaned up and that nobodys slacking off. Its nothing you wouldnt be doing working for a cleanup crew somewhere else in the city.

Except Im doing it for you. Im working for a criminal. Even doing what Im doing right now, it doesnt sit right. No offense.

Okay, I said, pausing. I was apparently taking too long to prepare the food, because Grue was edging in to take over the preparation, cutting the meat into two portions and arranging the plates. How was I supposed to manage this? Listen, Ill take five thousand dollars out of the safe upstairs, sometime late tonight or early tomorrow.

Its not about the money, or the lack of money, or any of that- she protested.

I know. Im not trying to bribe you. Not exactly. I guess, um I trailed off. I was tired, thinking at high intensity for too much of the day. Um, Im trying to say I trust you, and I value the work you put in. So take that money, then if you know of someone who could do what Im asking, someone like Charlotte or someone else you think we could trust, give them as much as you think is appropriate. If theres any left over, maybe you and Charlotte split it. Or split an amount between the people who fought the drones, and be sure to tell them that as much as I appreciate them standing up to Dragon, I dont want them to do anything like that again.

You dont?

The last thing I want is people who live in my territory to get hurt for my sake. And I dont want you to be inconvenienced either. Think about what youll do with the money tonight. But dont overthink it. Its a gift, a thank you.

I cant take your money, Sierra said.

Then dont, I told her, trying to look like I was more focused on the food than anything else. It wouldnt do for her to see how much this was gutting me, and I didnt want her to get guilted into anything. I grabbed a coke from the fridge. I gestured with it to Grue, and he nodded. I grabbed another for him. I had to swallow and clear my throat before I said, I hope youll stay. I really do. But if youre not comfortable doing what youre doing, thats okay too. You can take a secondary role, or you can leave. Ill be disappointed, but I wont be angry.

Okay.

I looked at Charlotte and the kids, the steaming plate in my hand, a coke in the other, my right foot resting on the bottom stair of the staircase. I asked Charlotte, Are you okay with the status quo?

Yeah. But Im just looking after the little ones, and making sure people get fed. Im out of sight, I dont come off like a second in command or anything. I- Sierra and I have talked about this, before, her being uncomfortable. Im okay because this works for right now, but I understand what shes saying? Her voice quirked with uncertainty as she finished speaking, as if she were asking a question, or asking permission to have that opinion.

I understand too, I said, sighing. Im sorry I havent been around enough for you to talk to me about this, Sierra.

Youve had bigger things to worry about.

And I shouldnt have forgotten about this stuff while I was doing it. Im sorry. You do what you need to do, decide if theres any compromises or options you want to ask for. I think Ill understand, whatever you do.

She nodded.

Grue had walked ahead of me and stopped halfway up the stairs. I followed him, leaving my nanny-cook and reluctant lieutenant behind.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

You going to work that out? Grue asked. He paused on the second floor. After a moments thought, I tilted my head up toward the next set of stairs.

Dont know. Hope I can keep her. Wouldnt have made it this far without her to hold things together when I was away. If there was something I could do for her, maybe I would. I dunno.

We stepped into my bedroom. I was glad Id left it more or less tidy, but I had to take a second to hastily make my bed and throw some stray clothes in the hamper. I moved some folded clothes from a wooden chair and let Grue take the seat. I grabbed a remote and turned on the TV, only to remember that there wouldnt be anything to watch. I left it on the display screen for the DVD player.

Edgy with nervous energy, I took a moment to remove my mask and find a pair of glasses from the bedside table before seating myself on the edge of my mattress, my soda at my feet.

Grue had pulled off his helmet in the meantime to start eating, and I saw his face for the first time since wed left his apartment for Coils. I could see the dark circles under his eyes, which suggested he probably hadnt slept well last night. He wasnt better, but it wouldnt be reasonable to expect him to be.

Brian swallowed, I wish I could offer you advice, but Imp and I are at a point where itd be nice if we had to worry about retaining what did you call them, way back when?

Employees.

Right. If we had to worry about keeping our employees, itd be good, because itd mean we actually had some. Im not sure how to get underway on that front. Were intimidating.

Im intimidating, I said, admittedly defensive.

You are. But Id say youre more intimidating as an idea than you are in person.

Gee, thanks.

No. Thats not bad. Youre more intimidating overall than I am, and yet youre more approachable than I am. Im tall, Ive got broad shoulders, Ive got the mask, Ive got the mass of darkness rolling off me. People run when they see me coming for them.

My costume isnt exactly lovey-dovey, either. Ive got the bugs crawling on me. Sure, Im smaller, narrower, but-

The idea of being attacked by you might be spooky, but even if you can hold your own most of the time, people dont imagine getting in a hand to hand fight with you and feel scared. Its your power thats scary. Me? I think people look at me and they can imagine me pounding them into a bloody pulp, or worse. My powers inconvenient, its spooky, but its not the scary thing.

You cant really see your darkness, though.

He shook his head, I know where it is, but I dont really see it.

I think you underestimate what its like.

Maybe. But my point is that people are more likely to run than stick around and talk when Im approaching. You can take your bugs off the table, make it clear they arent a threat, and people feel less threatened, theyre willing to hear you out.

Maybe. But if thats the case, dont give them a chance to run.

What? Pop out from around a corner, scare the living daylights out of them, then offer them a job?

Sure. Why the hell not? Or have Imp break into apartments and leave a card.

I dont think that would send the right message. Its vaguely threatening.

Youre vaguely threatening. If your prospective hires cant deal with that much, then they probably wont handle the job all that well, either. If you cant find anyone, then maybe I send some of my people your way to help get you started, or you could shell out for some decent mercenaries.

Maybe.

Theres options. Dont stress about it. Whatever else happens, we have a few days before we decide on the next leg of our plan. Lets relax. Movie?

Sure.

I stood from my bed and began going through the box of DVDs that Coil had supplied with the TV. Most were still in the tight plastic wrap that theyd been bought in. I looked through, then handed some to Brian before turning back to the bag to keep browsing.

What the hell were we supposed to watch? I didnt want anything that would ruin Brians mood or remind him what had happened, so horror was probably out, I was sick of the high intensity stuff, but I couldnt stand romance or bad comedies.

Going back to the earlier topic, Brian said, The subject of leadership, being in charge

I winced.

You took over today. Are you wanting that to be a permanent thing?

I turned around. No. Not permanent. Just until- I stopped short. How to put it?

Until?

When I was getting really obsessive about what I was doing, when I was losing sleep and making mistakes, I deferred control.

To Trickster, Brian said. I could see a shadow pass over his expression.

Yeah. And thats a bad example because it didnt work. Its just that we both know youre not getting enough rest. So maybe I can pick up the slack in the meantime.

Brian sighed. He didnt look any happier.

I dont want to make you unhappy, I said. Im not wanting to oust you, or co-opt your role permanently or completely. You were the leader, even if we didnt really establish an official title over it. But we can divide the duties for the time being. Tattletale handles the information angle of things, I maybe keep Bitch reined in and handle the spur of the moment calls, while you handle Regent and Imp and all the rest.

Which is less than it sounds like, especially when you and Tattletale contribute on the rest in little ways.

No- I started, then I sighed. Maybe, yeah. I dont want to come off as manipulative or anything. Like I said, I dont want you to be unhappy, but at the same time I do want the whole team to get by in the meantime.

You dont sound manipulative, he said. His fork hit the plate with a clatter. Jesus, this sucks. I know youre right. I know this is for the good of the team, and if I could just get over this shit-

Its not that easy. Dont do yourself a disservice and expect too much.

My whole life, Ive been bigger than my peers, Ive been stronger than most. Spent my time around pretty powerful guys. Boxers, martial artists, other criminals. I didnt have many friends, but they were the people who were around me, you know? And they were the types to go after you if you show any weakness.

You get shot, nobodys going to call you a wimp. I dont see why its different if the damage is mental or emotional instead of physical.

I know, but youre not getting it. I was the type to go after someone if they showed a vulnerability. Wasnt until Id had my powers about a year, Aisha tells me I was being an asshole, just like one of her stepdads used to be. So I tried to be better, but I always wanted to protect her, always wanted to help others. Teach you and Alec to fight, step up and take charge when a situation demanded it. Sometimes when a situation didnt.

Yeah.

So it isnt just about me trying to adjust. Christ, its me having my world turned upside down. Its others protecting me, others helping me, others covering me in a fight, others taking charge. Aishas the one fixing things for me. And you-

Me?

This thing with Coil. Dont think Im so obsessed with whats going on with me that I dont see it. Its like a burdens fallen from your shoulders. Youve got concerns, but youre more relaxed. Youve got hope that you didnt have twelve hours ago, and its dramatic enough that your postures changing. Even since we left the mall, its like youre slowly convincing yourself that this is over, Coils going to follow through, well move on to taking care of our territories and everything works out in the end.

I folded my arms. I dont think that. Like I said, Im waiting for the other shoe to drop.

You say that, you tell yourself that, but I dont know that youre feeling it. Im worried youre setting yourself up for a massive disappointment, and that youll be affected enough that you wont be able to deal when it happens. But Im mostly worried that all that will happen and I wont be in a position to help because Im distracted by my own shit.

You dont have to take up all the slack. We have other teammates.

Lisa isnt exactly a heavy hitter, and lets not fool ourselves into believing that Alec, Rachel or Aisha are going to offer any meaningful emotional support.

Well manage, I said. Weve managed this far.

More or less. Problem is, managing is fine, up until we dont manage, if that makes any sense. Then its over.

I sighed. How did Genesis put it? Theres no use in getting worked up over it if we cant plan around it or do anything to change it. So well each do our own imperfect jobs of taking care of each other and taking care of ourselves, and be as ready as we can for whatever comes up.

He sighed.

Were not perfect. Were flawed people, and as much as I want to help you in every way I can, I know I cant. I dont- Im not good at this. I dont know how to act, or what to say. But I like you. I care about you. Im going to do my best, even if I know its not good enough. And I wont expect any more of you.

He nodded, but he looked glum.

No hard feelings?

He shook his head. He didnt look happy.

I wont be leader forever.

I dont know, he said. Might be better that you keep the job, even if I do bounce back eventually.

Except I dont want the job.

That might be why you should take it. I dont know. Can we drop the subject?

Sorry.

Its okay. Just heavy topics, with lots of ramifications. And its hard to shake the negative thoughts. Id rather talk along the lines of what you said before, about taking care of each other.

And taking care of ourselves, I said. Getting enough sleep, eating right.

Okay, he said. There was a pause. I slept well the other night.

Then stay over. Theres nothing pressing coming up, so well watch movies until we fall asleep.

He smiled a little, and for the first time in a long time there was a glimmer of that expression that had gotten my attention in the first place.

I put three DVDs into the drive so I could use the remote to play the next movie without having to get up, then pulled off the armor panels of my costume before settling into bed. My back pressed against his chest, and I could feel his breath against my hair.

I felt so self conscious that I could barely keep track of what was going on. I was thinking every unromantic thought there was: worrying if I had body odor from being in costume and running all day, wondering if I should get up to go to the bathroom now so I wouldnt have to go as desperately as I had the other morning.

I felt his hand on the zipper at the back of my costume, lowering it an inch, then stopping. A fingertip traced from the v where the top of my costume parted, all the way up to the the nape of my neck, then back down. I could feel his fingers on the zipper, felt every tiny hair on my body standing on end.

A million thoughts raced through my head at once. All put together, they amounted to a mumbled, Um.

There was no response from behind me. I could hear him breathing, I could feel the warmth of his breath, the slow rise and fall of his chest against my back. He was waiting for me to make my decision, and the thing that loomed largest in my mind was the sensation of his fingers on the tiny tag of the zipper, strong, insistent, there.

Any confidence Id picked up in the past weeks or months fled. I felt as vulnerable as I had in early April, brought to tears in front of my worst enemies. Except this wasnt wholly negative. Not entirely: I still felt acutely aware of every vulnerability, I thought of every part of myself that I tried to ignore when I looked in the mirror in the same way I might see my life flash before my eyes before I died.

Again, thinking that way. Why couldnt I think in a more romantic way at a moment like this? Was I broken in my own way?

Let me get up and turn off the lights? I asked.

His power blanketed the room. I could feel the phantom touches of it on against the thin fabric of my costume and my bare face, leaving me blind and deaf as we were plunged into darkness.

As I was plunged into darkness; he could see just as well. This totally wasnt what Id wanted.

Thats not fair, I murmured.

He placed one hand on the side of my head to get me to turn his way, then pressed his lips against mine.

I didnt protest any further.