"I know you do, and I love you too. Lexi asked me to marry her, and I said yes."

"She what? You what? What does that mean for us? How can you give vows to two? I always thought that it would just be girlfriends--not someone else as a spouse too. Does that mean she moves in? What does this mean?" Trey was upset and knew this was the only time he could voice his concerns. Jennifer dating others was one thing, but marrying another--that was something he never imagined would happen.

"Well, right now that has not been all worked out. But for us, nothing changes."

"How can you say that? Everything has been changing with us for months. Jen, I love you, but this is a little much for me. I need time to process what you just told me. I just don't know."

"Take all the time you need. It will be okay. You will see." And just then Jennifer realized that the person she loved and had been with for twenty years may not always be in the picture. She wondered if she had taken it too far for him and if this was going to be the end of a wonderful, beautiful thing they had. She did not want him gone, but she did not want to lose Lexi, either.

"You always say that. This is different, though. Can't you see that this is different?"

"Yes, I know, but just think--you never have to wonder if I will be dating another. You will know that I will be just with you and her. Between the two of you, I am completely satisfied and my love grows more and more for each of you."

With that, Trey walked away. He let her know that he would be back and drove off to the gas station. Trey had not smoked in years, but with this news, he felt the craving. He picked up a pack and a lighter and lit up. The intake felt vp alian good, and he found himself relaxing. Trey did not know what to think of the news. He got Jill on the phone and went over her way. Maybe she could help him come to terms with it.

"Jill! Thanks for seeing me on such short notice."

"You sounded upset. What is going on?"

"Lexi proposed to Jen, and she said yes. I never thought that there would be anyone else exchanging vows with her. I could share to a point but never thought I would share the t.i.tle of spouse or that someone else would call her wife."

"Oh, wow! That is some big news. I can see why it upsets you. Trey, you know that I am going to say that she does not deserve you--that she does not even respect you enough to let at least one thing be just yours. Is Lexi moving in now too?"

"I don't know. I am really torn up and don't know if I can allow this. I keep thinking I should get out, yet there are the kids to think about."

"Yes, there is that."

"I think also I am upset because we never talked about someone else being able to make vows to her. I would have also liked it if Lexi would have come to me first before asking her."

"And what would you have done?"

"Said no, and that the marriage vows and all that were mine--that she could not claim her as a wife, too. I would have fought for one thing to stay sacred amongst us. I have never told her no to a girlfriend and never would, but a wife? I never asked for that."

"Aw. Well, if you were my primary, I would respect that."

"I just don't know what to do. And thank you. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be with you in a full relationship."

"Well, if you ever want to find out, let me know. So, are they going to have a ceremony?"

"Jen said all the details were not worked out yet. I just don't know if I can watch her marry another. It just feels wrong on some level, even though we are poly."

"Why are you poly, Trey?"

"Well, it was the only way I could get her to say yes to me. She said that she was attracted to women, and since I am not one, then there would be girlfriends."

"So it really was not a choice and just something you put up with."

"I could have said no to marriage, but I love her and want her happy."

"And you? Don't you deserve to be happy? How is this fair to you? Not respecting your wishes or needs?"

"Jill, can we drop this? I came here to get my mind off that stuff, and you don't need to be worried by it or drug into it."

"Yes, we can. And, for the record, I care for you and want you happy."

The two of them moved on to finding lunch and drowning their thoughts out with a show on the TV. Trey went back home after that. He decided, for now, he would avoid the subject and not {jecmony?deal with it until he was forced to face it.

Chapter Seventeen.

My parents were going to be over any minute, and I was getting nervous. Jennifer and I decided we would do the dinner the first night and then go from there. If it was a good time to tell them, then we would. If not, we would wait. It was nerve-racking enough just to introduce them to her. This was the first time in a long time that I had even let them meet anyone that I was dating.

The doorbell rang, scaring me out of my trance. Jennifer was not here yet, and I really did not want to face them alone. When I got to the door and opened it, there was my starburst beauty chatting it up with my parents. She smiled, and I showed them all in. We did our hugs and greetings as normal, helping ease me from the anxiety that I was feeling.

"Jennifer here was just saying we are in for a treat."

"You are! We are taking you to a little Italian restaurant that we found the other night."

"Yes, Lexi and I went to this hole in the wall place that was in a strip center and found the best Italian food that I have ever tasted."

"Sounds wonderful! When do we go? I am starving!" That was my father, always thinking of his stomach.

"We can leave now."

We took separate cars. This gave us a chance to have some us time as we had not had a chance since we last saw each other to get more than a few stolen seconds. Luckily, the restaurant was a good thirty minutes away, giving us time to catch up and me a chance to relax. Jennifer looked so amazing and beautiful. I had a hard time keeping my eyes on the road.

Her voice was music to my ears. "Lexi, did you hear me? Are you sure you want to tell them now? Would you rather wait 'til we have some things finalized?"

"Oh. Sorry, love. I was just taking in your b ~iv heave someauty. What do you want?"

"I want to tell the world!"

"I don't know if I can yet!"

"Why?"

"I want to know for sure that this really is what we both want and that this is going to work out. I also don't want to say anything at work yet."

"Are you scared of what people will say?"

"Yes."

"Don't be. All that matters is what we think."

"I just don't know yet, love."

"Well, we can talk about it later--after your folks leave. I am yours for the night."

"Really?"

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I figured after the dinner you would go home. I am glad you are not, though."

"Me too! I really enjoyed the last time we were together and hope maybe we could repeat things."

"We will see. Yes, Lexi."

Before we knew it, we were at the restaurant. My parents were already there, and I wondered how behaved Bill and Mary Woodsworth would be. Once we were all settled in and had drinks ordered, my mother proved to still be her old self, asking a million questions of Jennifer and not letting up. Finally my father was kind enough to take the heat off her and shift the conversation. And he would choose my favorite topic--the clinic. He always took an interest in my work and wanted to know how things were progressing there. I was the first in our family to have a Master's Degree, and he boasted to all about my position and about how smart I am. My father always was an ego booster for me.

Right before the food came, Jennifer excused herself, and that left me to the questions of my mother. She was determined to find out all she could, and I was determined to leave some things out. This proved to be difficult.

"Lexi, your father and I have your best interests in mind. I just don't want you hurt. She is nice, but it seems like you two are not telling me everything."

"Mother, we are answering your questions. What else do you want to know?"

"What are you not telling me?"

That one question left me wanting to run. There was much I was not saying, like we were engaged, like she had a husband and kids, and finally, that I would be moving in with her soon. How did you tell your mother all this?

"Lexi, are you going to answer me?"

"Well, I don't know how you are going to react to some things. I just need to make sure before I tell you everything. Can you give me that?"

"Yes, but honey you can tell us anything!"

Oh, how I wished that was true! They just now were talking to me and visiting again since I told them I was a lesbian. I was enjoyn. T" ing having them back in my life and did not want to lose that. I just knew that this would be too much for them right now.

Jennifer returned, saving me from further uncomfortable conversation. I was pleased by this, and we enjoyed the rest of the meal in pleasantries. They told us about how their cruise was and where they were headed after this visit. Since retirement, they traveled nine months out of the year. We soon finished dinner, and they decided to go on to the hotel. Jennifer and I went back to my place and relaxed down to a movie.

"Why are you still so quiet?"

"I am thinking of the questions that my mother was asking and know that over the next few days they are here, she will be asking more and more. I just don't want to face it yet."

"Would you like me to stay with you so they don't ask so much, or I could at least answer and you won't have to?"

"That would be nice, but I don't want them knowing everything yet."

"I know, love. But sooner or later, they are going to know."

"I know, I know. Just, please, let's push it off as long as possible."

"Anything you wish."

Chapter Eighteen.

Jennifer came home to find Trey packing an overnight bag. He did not say a word and barely gave notice that he saw her there. Jennifer did not know what to say or do. She just stood and stared. Finally she found the strength to ask what he was doing because in the past, when he went on overnight stays, he never packed a bag.

"Something I need to know? Are we okay?"

"I just need some time away to think about some things. With the kids going to camp on Sunday, I figured I would use the time to take a trip and do some thinking. I hope you don't mind me not talking to you first about it, but I figured since you are doing things without talking to me about them, that this would be okay."

"You are upset still. I am sorry, love, but please don't let what I have with Lexi ruin what I have with you. It will be good. You will see."

"Jennifer, you just don't get it, do you?"

"If you don't think I do, then please tell me what is going on in your head."

"Look, I don't want to fight with you."

"Nor do I, but I need to know what you are thinking. You are my husband and important to me."

"Fine. You want to know and are not going to drop it, are you?"

Jennifer shook her head no, feeling fear rush through her as she thought maybe she should not have asked any questions at all. Jennifer stared at the man she had known for twenty-two years. She was lost at trying to figure him out and, for the first time, she did not know if there was a way to talk things out.

"Well, I feel like you don't respect me. I always thought that even though you would have a girlfriend, I would be your only spouse. I wanted one thing to stay ours alone, and I don't feel I have that now."

"I had no idea. Trey, I thought you understood that I wanted not just a husband, but a wife too."

"No, I didn't. I understood that I would not be your only lover--that you would have a girlfriend, but not once did I understand that someone else would call you 'wife.' Now I don't know what to think. Every part of me says get out, yet I think of how it would affect the children. I know you don't know this, but I made myself a promise--a long time ago after we had Tracy--that I would not leave till she and any other kids we might have were off to college. I just don't know if I can keep it up anymore. It is painful to watch you with her--to see how happy she makes you and to know that I am no longer the one that brings out the glow in you. You had been depressed for so long, and there was nothing that I could do to help you. But you meet her and all a sudden you laugh and smile. You came back to life."

"Baby, why did you not tell me about how you felt? Why did we not have this talk sooner? I love you, and I never want to lose you."

"You have a funny way of showing that."

"Okay?"

"I--my--our--I don't know what to say. I feel lost right now, and I don't know where I fit in this marriage anymore. I also don't know if I want to be poly anymore. That is why I am going. I need to seek what I want and need, so we can come together and know what we are going to be togetherand how."

"Please, love; just tell me that you will return. Take all the time you need, but please return."

"All the time I need?"