"Hi. I'm sorry to come without calling first, but I was hoping that you might have some time to talk?"

She glanced at Lyric, who had taken one look at Lindy then turned her attention to the plate of chicken. "Sure. Have a seat. Have you eaten?"

"I'm good, thanks." She pulled out a chair across from Cades and sat down.

Cades sniffed. "You smell like herbs."

Lindy blushed slightly. "That's sage. Faith and McKenna helped me smudge my house after we cleaned it yesterday."

Cades frowned. "Smudge?"

"You light a bundle of dried sage and use the smoke to cleanse the negativity out of your home. The scent is kind of everywhere in my house and on my skin still. Sorry if it bothers you."

Thoroughly intrigued, Cades pushed her plate aside. Lindy had cleansed the negativity from her home? Why?

Seeming to read Cades' mind, Lindy told Cades that she had taken a good, long look at her life and wasn't happy with what she had become.

"I know I've made a lot of mistakes," she said earnestly, "but I want to change. I'm tired of being a pariah, a joke." She glanced at Lyric and then at Cades. "I'm just like my mom. I followed in her footsteps to the letter. Except she's never gotten tired of the endless males and trying to bed her way into a mating. I wish I could go back in time and tell my teenage-self that the road I was about to head down would lead to heartache and loneliness."

It was true that Cades had never cared for Lindy personally. They were the same age and had been in school together, and Lindy and other females like her had taken immeasurable joy in making sure that Cades knew she was different and not wanted. She'd gone after Jason, Michael, and every other unmated male in the pack. When Cades took over as alpha female, Lindy, along with the other females in the pack, had accepted her as their alpha. While the females who had picked on Cades as a youth had changed their tune, some of them, like Lindy, had simply focused their attentions on finding another male once Jason was claimed.

Cades could admit that she'd never really thought much about the females who weren't active in the pack. She spent time with her mother-in-law, Tina, the mates she was close to, and those few females who really wanted to be part of the pack.

"I didn't know you were feeling so lost, Lindy. I'm sorry that I haven't shown much of an interest in you and your friends. I just a.s.sumed you were happier to have little to do with the pack."

Lindy toyed with one of Lyric's stuffed animals that were strewn across the table. "I was happier, for a while. But I took a good look at myself in the light of day, and I hate what I saw. I don't want to be that girl anymore. I want to bury her and embrace the person I feel is the real me, the one I always kept muzzled."

Cades felt a genuine connection bloom between herself and Lindy. She was asking for help. Cades could be petty, but she didn't think that was the way an alpha should act.

Leaning back in her chair, she said, "It won't be easy. The pack won't accept that you've changed, not right away."

"I'm doing it for myself, not for anyone else. If they don't like the new me, that's okay, because I do." She rubbed the collar of her shirt. "I threw out all my trashy clothes and shoes. Faith helped me take everything to Goodwill. I redecorated my house and got rid of everything that reminded me of the person I used to be. I like to knit. I never told anyone that. I had a teacher in elementary school who showed me how one day when my mom forgot to pick me up from school. Last night I went to a craft store and got yarn and needles and started making a scarf." She smiled. "It felt really good."

Standing to refill Lyric's juice, Cades turned back to the table and said, "Good for you." Sitting down again, she said, "Tell me what I can do to help."

Lindy exhaled slowly and outlined a plan to help out around the retirement community. Cades offered her own suggestions for things she could do, including helping out more with the pack's full moon celebrations.

"Tell you what. Come back and see me in a couple weeks and let me know how things are going. If anyone gives you a hard time, let me know immediately, okay?"

"I will. Thanks, Cades."

"You're welcome." She stood as Lindy stood and was surprised when she came around the table and gave her a quick hug.

"I'm sorry for all the trouble I gave you when we were young," Lindy said. "You didn't deserve it. I was jealous of you and behaved in a petty and stupid way. Thank you for seeing past all that bad behavior. I was worried you'd send me away."

"The past can stay in the past where it belongs. I'm willing to move beyond it, if you are."

Lindy nodded and left.

"Well, wasn't that interesting?" Cades said to Lyric, who was rubbing her fingers in the leftover ketchup and painting a picture on the table.

"Mama?" Lyric licked her finger and then popped it back into the ketchup.

"Yeah, baby girl?"

"Chicken."

The following week, Lindy spent two hours after work every night helping out Mac's grandma, Eula. Eula was a very active senior who liked to take walks around the community and visit with everyone. Lindy accompanied her on the walks, carrying packages of baked goods or meals that Eula made. At first, the elder wolves had seemed wary of Lindy being around, and she'd worried that she wouldn't be accepted. But Eula was a firecracker and refused to allow anyone to treat Lindy badly. It didn't take long before she felt at home in the community.

Shyne, the mate of the second ranked in the pack, Michael, pa.s.sed Lindy on Thursday evening as she made the rounds with Eula. "Hey, I was looking for you!" Shyne said. She was a pretty Latina with a bright smile.

"You were?"

"Yeah. Are you free on Sat.u.r.day? Cades said you were willing to help out with pack stuff, and the retirement community is having a yard sale, and I could really use some help handing out flyers at the entrance to the community on Sat.u.r.day."

"I'd love to."

"Great! Come to the community center at seven a.m., and we'll get ready for the crowds!"

Eula gave her a nudge with her elbow. "I told you that people would be able to look past your history if you just gave them a little time."

"It's a start," Lindy agreed.

Which was how she found herself helping pa.s.s out maps to the various yard sales within the community on Sat.u.r.day morning. Shyne stood with her, and they pa.s.sed out flyers to the humans and wolves who came through the gates. It was the first community-wide yard sale, and the proceeds were going to help build an addition onto the community center.

Although there were some pack members who looked at Lindy with barely veiled disgust, for the most part, she was treated like a member of the pack. And it felt d.a.m.n good.

The next week pa.s.sed quickly as she continued to walk around the community with Eula each night, and over the weekend, she helped out at Lonestar's where Karly, the mate of the third ranked male, Linus, ran things. Lindy had been surprised to get a call from Karly asking if she could help at the bakery counter on Sat.u.r.day and Sunday, but she had been happy to do it. Standing with Mrs. B., who baked all the delicious things, was entertaining as the older woman regaled Lindy with tales of knights in shining armor that she read about in her many romance novels. Mrs. B. was a sweet woman with a rosy outlook on life that Lindy found infectious.

When Lindy stopped on Sunday evening to visit with Cades as she'd asked, her alpha was beaming with pride.

"I can't tell you how happy I am for you, Lindy," Cades said as she sat with her on a couch in the front room. "You look so happy."

"I am happy. I had no idea how much I'd enjoy helping others, but I really do. It's made me feel connected to the pack in a way I never felt before. I just feel bad for all the time I wasted."

"Don't. You can move forward now and you want to, and that's the important thing. So I have a request."

"Name it."

Cades laughed. "I like your enthusiasm. Jason said the males are complaining that none of the females are doing their fair share with the full moon clearing. Jason and some of the males cleared out another ring of trees to make the clearing bigger, so there's more that needs to be cleaned up. Do you think that you and Faith would be willing to help out this month?"

Faith had been doing her own version of cleaning up her life and had opted to enroll in community college to work on a nursing degree, something she'd wanted to do but had never pursued.

"Absolutely."

"Great! And I've never asked you before, but would you be willing to stand as a guard? I know you two like to hunt together, so you and Faith can both guard the mates and then go hunting afterward. I know Faith already guarded last month, but I hope she won't mind."

"I'm sure she won't. I'd be honored."

"Oh sure," Cades snorted and rolled her eyes, "it's very exciting sitting around babysitting all us women-folk while the men-folk all go out hunting."

"It's important. If I was pregnant and unable to shift, I'd want to make sure that the people watching over me were glad to be part of the guards."

"You think about having pups?" Cades asked, tilting her head in curiosity.

"I do. I think about finding my truemate and settling down and having pups. I don't know when that will happen, though."

"Your mate's not in the pack." She said it as a statement not a question.

"No. But we'll find each other when the time is right. I was in a hurry before, trying to force myself into a mating that wasn't right for me. Now, I just want to find the right person, and whenever it happens, it will be the right time."

"That's a really good att.i.tude to have." Cades smiled, and Lindy nodded.

"Thanks for trusting me and for helping me. I don't deserve it, but I'm grateful for it."

"You deserve to be happy. I'm glad I could help."

With a skip in her step, she left her alphas' home and spent the rest of her day off helping Faith move into her own small rental home on the same street as Lindy's house.

The morning before the full moon, Lindy dressed in comfortable shorts, hiking boots, and a dark T-shirt she didn't mind getting dirty. When she was a teenager, she'd been part of the full moon cleaning crew, but she'd somehow managed to get out of the duty for the last few years. Maybe because Jason and his males always seemed to choose only males to work, or maybe because no one really wanted her around. Either way, she was excited to get her hands dirty.

Stopping to pick up Faith and then Mac, she headed to their alphas' house and parked on the gra.s.s. They walked through the backyard and into the woods to the clearing. Jason, Cades, and a handful of males stood around the firepit. Cades greeted them. "The guys are going to dig out the firepit so we need to work on clearing the debris. We'll bundle up the twigs to use as kindling, so those will go in the wheelbarrow over there where the ball of twine is. After we're done, Karly is bringing lunch to the house for us."

"Let's get cracking!" Mac said. "I'm starving already."

The four women worked, talking and laughing like old friends. It made Lindy proud that her alpha was so accepting of them and also that her friends were happy to be more active partic.i.p.ants in the pack. Mac wielded a rake and picked up leaves while the other women gathered sticks and tied them into bundles.

While they worked, Mac told them about her overstuffed closet. Drake had officially moved in over the weekend and apparently had a penchant for shoes and clothes that she hadn't been fully aware of. Lindy laughed, and Mac threw a handful of leaves at her.

"It's not funny. I had no idea he was such a clothes h.o.a.rder. He's even got more shoes then me!"

And that was saying something. Mac's shoe collection was epic and often made Lindy green with envy. It was too bad they didn't wear the same size.

"Do you want some help organizing things?" Lindy asked.

"Yes, please." McKenna brightened considerably. "I'll leave the door open and you guys can come in and steal all his stuff, and I'll just feign ignorance."

Cades chuckled. "Leave the poor guy some pants!"

Mac snorted. "I'll think about it."

Linus' phone chirped, and he looked at it and said to the group, "Karly says lunch is ready."

"I'm starving," Lindy said, tying a bundle of twigs and carrying it to the wheelbarrow.

"Me, too," Cades said. "Thanks so much for helping. It's good for the females to take part in the full moon prep."

"I'm glad I could help." Lindy's back ached a little from all the bending and picking up, but a sense of satisfaction had settled over her as she worked, a rightness that she was exactly where she belonged. It might have been easier to leave town and start over somewhere else, but the only place that had ever felt like home to her was Allen.

And it was good to be home.

Chapter 5.

Crimson stood outside his commander's office in the military training complex. He had spent the previous day cleaning his home after his chat with his father and had spent a good portion of the day thinking.

"Captain Ta'rek, you may enter," Commander Fenick said loudly.

Crimson opened the heavy wooden door and entered the office. Fenick was one of the most decorated males in the military, and Crimson respected him a great deal. Outside of his father, there was no one that Crimson looked up to more than Fenick. Fenick was seated behind a ma.s.sive desk and gestured to one of the straight-backed chairs across from it. Clipping the end off a mulberry cigar and lighting it, Fenick blew a few smoke rings into the air and gave Crimson a long look.

"Did you plan to tell me what you wanted, Crimson, or are you just going to watch me smoke?"

"Sorry, sir." Crimson cleared his throat. "I'd like to request a leave of absence during the next full moon. I want to spell for my truemate, and I believe the best time to do that is on the full moon."

"Because of your wolf?" Fenick raised a brow. "You can't do it any other time than the full moon?"

Crimson shrugged slightly. "I just feel like the full moon is the best time to do it." He couldn't really explain the feeling, but something told him to wait, and his wolf, although anxious, was not grumbling at him quite so much.

"Well, I don't pretend to understand what you deal with having a beast hanging out in your brain, but I do know that when a male is ready to find his mate, instincts are best heeded." He leaned back in his chair and blew a plume of smoke straight up. "Do you want to step down?"

Crimson straightened farther in the chair. The military had a rule that mated males could step down from infantry service and take less dangerous positions, such as patrolling and training new recruits. It had been one of the things he'd thought about while he cleaned his home.

"I'm going to wait until I speak to my truemate, sir, before I make any job changes."

"Good, good." He rolled the tip of the cigar in a marble ashtray and said, "When you settle in with your female, let me know what you want to do. If you do decide to step down from the infantry, you'll be missed. You're one of the best."

"Thank you, sir."

Crimson left Fenick's office and walked slowly down the hall. He pa.s.sed offices of high-ranking military officers. In between the doors were paintings of important members of the military who had retired from service. Many of the males he knew from his father's time, many he'd read about in history cla.s.ses. All of them warriors. When he was young, he'd envisioned his own likeness in the hall, a testament to a lifelong dedication to the military.

But since he had decided to spell for his truemate, had finally given in to the angry rumbling of his wolf, he could admit that his desires were changing. The most important thing didn't seem to be living up to his father's legacy but finding his truemate, making her happy, ensuring her safety. His wolf grumbled in agreement. They hadn't even found their truemate yet, and already the beast was arguing with Crimson about keeping his job and putting himself in harm's way.

What had he joined the military for? To follow in his father's footsteps. To make him proud. If he quit now, what did that mean about his dedication as a male? His honor? His loyalty? His wolf grumbled again, and Crimson sighed. He'd never considered being anything but a soldier. What else could he do?

Deciding to think about it later, he continued down the hall, left the compound, and headed home. The full moon would be here before he knew it, and there was still much to be done.

Crimson manifested his sword and struck at the practice dummy as it flew toward him on an elaborate pulley system. Pivoting, he struck again and again, envisioning some large creature instead of the dummy. A meaty-fisted bronyak or a winged flinglan.