Upstairs, I've laid out everything I have that I'd want used on me, which was a tough decision to begin with. While I've always imagined what certain things would feel like-a hearty spanking or a well-placed crop strike-I've never allowed it to happen. Now that I am...I don't know what I like. I leave it up to him.

"So." He looks around the room, scratching the back of his neck for a moment. "I guess...we should have ground rules, yes?"

I sit down on my bed, flattening my dress modestly against my thighs. "This is your scene. You get to set it up." My pulse quickens with both desire and nerves.

He snorts. "Aye, well, I rather like it when I get to just lie back and enjoy." He grins then, his dimple enhancing his charm. "Let's see... ye dinna need to call me aMaster' or anything like that. And I dinna wish to call ye slave or some such names."

I snicker. "Did your research, did you?"

He nods. "For weeks now. Found a book called something like..." He thinks for a moment. "Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns?"

"Yes, that's a great reference. Particularly for a beginner," I praise him. Though given some of the things they outline in its pages, he might have gotten some ideas...

He beams. "Fascinating wee book." He holds up his hands, showing me its thickness, or rather, lack thereof. "Learned quite a bit."

"Hm." I drop my chin and gaze up at him.

His tone turns from academic curiosity to l.u.s.t in barely a second. He crosses to the bed, hauling me against him and kissing me hard.

"I believe I'll leave the finer elements of BDSM to ye, Mistress Hathaway, but for tonight, ye'll be mine to do with as I wish. Am I clear, love?" He bends to my neck, his teeth grazing the skin.

"Very."

"And ye'll come when I say, and not before." He draws a hot path along my collarbone, nudging my dress strap out of his way.

"Yessir," I agree, my head falling back as his mouth seeks lower, stopped only by the neck of my dress.

"And I did bring a surprise for ye."

I raise an eyebrow as he pulls something out of his rear jeans pocket. "Oh really? I can't wait to see."

He hands me a finely crafted handcuff set. The leather cuffs are soft as b.u.t.ter and held together by a buckle. I admire the deep shade of the hide, even as my insides lurch at the idea of being confined in them. "These weren't cheap."

"Well, ye said I should bring my own tools, so I stopped by Shay's on my way here."

"Fair enough."

He takes them from me and draws me against him. "Are ye okay with this, love? We don't have to do it tonight if ye're having second thoughts."

His eyes-nearly green in the low light-search mine for an answer, so I close my eyes and kiss him. "I am yours tonight."

When my hands are tethered to the bed frame, I feel a bit less confident about that answer. He opted to keep the cuffs hooked together and looped over one of the headboard's rods, so my wrists are comfortably bound directly above my head. Fin's gaze studies me as though he wishes to memorize every detail, and my s.e.x drive revs to life. He runs a slow hand over my leg, his fingers stopping just shy of my panties.

"I must admit: I had a plan in mind, but now that I'm here, all I want to do is worship at yer feet, love." His gaze, molten and hungry, locks onto mine, and I can't look away. "Do ye know how stunning ye are? How much I want to lose myself in ye?"

I swallow, moisture pooling between my legs. I have no idea what to say, as I'm desperate for his touch. The intensity of my arousal scares me a bit. Why is this such a turn on for me?

When he slips a blindfold over my eyes, all my thoughts scatter. A sense of panic accosts me, but I push it away, determined not to ruin this for him. For several moments, I can't feel or hear him, and the anxiety rises. I shove down a threatening scream and listen for any movement. Then his belt buckle jangles, signaling its removal, and I relax slightly.

"Did ye really want me to use all of these on ye?" He sounds a bit incredulous, and he must be reviewing the items I left on the dresser.

His doubt eases my tension, and I consciously soften my limbs, trying to work out the rigidity. "Not all of them, no. But I wanted to give you options, in case there was something you wanted to try."

"Mmphmm." He sounds like he's deciding, and I hear a rustle of something. Then the bed dips with his weight.

His mouth makes me jump, his tongue sweeping into mine. He kisses me so thoroughly, I'm breathless. He blazes a path down my chest, taking advantage of my bra's front closure. My b.r.e.a.s.t.s freed, he captures a nipple, but at the same time, his knuckles spread my thighs. The telltale thrum of a vibrator sounds, and while he laves my sensitive nipples, he presses the vibrator against me. I arch my back as he slips past the edge of my panties, centering the bullet at the underside of my c.l.i.t.

"f.u.c.k," I breathe, jerking against him, but his legs hold mine captive.

"Come for me, Lux," he urges. His teeth sc.r.a.pe against my breast, and my whole body burns brighter. When I come, the world splits in two, and it's only Fin's weight and the cuffs that keep me anch.o.r.ed to the bed. I'm shaking, but he gathers me to him, holding me until my breath calms.

There's not much break before he takes possession of my mouth, his hand traveling south. When his fingers spread me, I struggle against the bonds, the intensity almost too much. "I can't..." But then I bite my lip as his fingers press into me, dancing against my center. "Oh, G.o.d, Fin, I don't think I can..."

He trails kisses over my jaw. "Ye can, love, just relax into it."

When he settles between my thighs, I'm already quaking, on the brink of climax. He pauses, not touching me for a minute.

I nudge my hips towards him. I want to feel his mouth on me. To be completely unable to do anything but react to the waves of pleasure that are gathering. To think of nothing more than my own bliss.

He offers me no response for long beats. Then I feel his breath blow over me. "What do ye want, Lux Trace?"

Oh G.o.d. He's going to make me ask. He teases me with a finger, briefly, and then...nothing. Dammit.

"What do ye want, love?"

I grit my teeth, wishing I could refuse, but I'm so desperate for his touch, I can't hold out. "I want you to touch me." I force out the next word. "Please."

"Is that all?"

G.o.d d.a.m.n him. "I want you to make me come. Please."

I don't need to be able to see him to know he's got that crooked smile on his face right at this moment.

His tongue makes delicious designs on my hypersensitive folds, and when his fingers slip back inside me, I lose the ability to care. With whimpers and moans I barely recognize as my own, I teeter on the edge, only to fall off the cliff and into pure sensation. Fin doesn't let up, and I'm unable to do anything else but hang on as the waves crash over me.

My head lies on his shoulder as he rubs feeling back into my hands.

"My throat's sore," I say.

"Aye, and no wonder. I'm pretty sure the neighbors could hear your l.u.s.ty cries."

Free of the blindfold, I glance up at him, catching his smug smile, then snuggle back into him. "That's all your fault."

His chest rumbles beneath my cheek as he chuckles.

Silence thickens the air before I speak again. "Why didn't you f.u.c.k me?"

He shifts so I'm on my back, his arm coming around me to cup my a.s.s and press me into him. "I was going to. But I changed my mind. Much as I loved seeing ye helpless and naked, I'd rather have ye powerful and commanding me as is yer wont, riding my c.o.c.k before the night is over."

I blow out a breath and close my eyes. "I don't think that's going to happen. I'm exhausted." My legs feel like overcooked noodles.

He smiles, then brushes his lips against mine. "I'll do all the work."

I pop open one eye. "You'd be having your way with an unconscious woman."

He looks mildly offended. "That sounds unappealing." He's appraising me closely when I drop my eyelid back down.

When he gives up and lies on his back, I can't ignore him any longer. "Where's your fight, man? You aren't letting me off the hook that easily, are you?"

"Ye said ye're exhausted. What kind of man am I if I push you?"

I roll my eyes. "You're the one in charge tonight, remember? I am at your command." I raise an eyebrow in challenge.

He gazes at me for a long moment, before a grin curves his lips. "Aye, then, woman. Get on my c.o.c.k."

I'm pretty sure I don't move all night. When Fin spoons me sometime after sunrise, I barely register him until his c.o.c.k enters me from behind. I'm sore from an extended session of f.u.c.king wherein I came at least three more times, bringing yesterday evening's o.r.g.a.s.m total to six...maybe seven? Despite the discomfort, his oh-so-knowing hands arouse me, and before I've even opened my eyes, I'm coming yet again.

"I'm pretty sure this has set an all-time record for me where o.r.g.a.s.ms are concerned," I tell him afterwards. I'm snuggled into his chest as he lies on his side, propped up and gazing down at me.

He smiles. "The least I could do, for letting me have my way with ye." His finger traces my hairline, then down my nose to my lips. "I have to tell ye something."

My stomach flips over on itself. "That sounds ominous."

His face turns serious. "Aye, well, I'm not particularly happy about it, no." He pauses, then continues. "I'm going away for a few weeks. John has a few out of state clients; he'd like me to go along."

I stare at his chest, if only to avoid showing him how much this affects me. I take a deep breath. "Sounds like a great opportunity. How long will you be away?"

His hand slides over my arm, resting on my shoulder. "He canna say-several weeks at least."

I nod. "It sounds like a great opportunity for you. And he trusts you enough to let you join him."

"Aye, it is. I'm glad for it. But I'll miss ye." His finger follows a light path over my collarbone.

"You'll have to send me a postcard." I put on a good show of being unaffected, but inside, my heart aches at the thought.

When he leaves later that morning, his kiss has a sense of urgency to it, of parting, but I paste a smile on my face, go through the motions of being fine with everything.

"I'll call ye once we've arrived-we're dropping a horse off on the way, so it's likely to be a few days."

"That's fine."

He doesn't seem to know how to leave or how to handle my lack of response. I want to make it easier on him, tell him I'll miss him. But the words don't come, and he's long gone by the time the first tear falls.

Chapter 21.

Burning Time drifts by slowly when all you want is for it to fly. It's more than twenty-four hours since I've heard from Fin, and I'm a mess. And not because I miss him. Okay, that's a lie. It's part of it. I've never needed anyone, and I'm not about to let that change, dammit. Even though I find myself checking my phone every few minutes, waiting on a text message that doesn't come. He's working, I tell myself. He's probably driving right now. The conflict raging inside plunges me even deeper into shadows. What the h.e.l.l has happened to me? When did I become a woman who waited around like a lovesick teenager? The idea of not seeing him for an indeterminate amount of time leaves me bereft and cranky.

Just as irksome: when did I turn into someone who liked getting tied up? I set the scene. I do the restraining. I sure as h.e.l.l don't get turned on by some guy acting all alpha male on me and making me beg for an o.r.g.a.s.m.

Yet that's exactly what happened. And more than that, I catch myself wondering what it would be like if it happened again.

I feel like a fraud. What kind of Dom am I? How the h.e.l.l did this happen?

How do I fix it?

"Hey, Lulu, your phone just went off."

I glance up from my computer. "What? Oh. Just leave it."

Noah's in the kitchen making lunch, and his footsteps announce his return. "You sure? It's from Fin. Sounds like he's pretty worried."

The modern smartphone has destroyed all semblance of privacy. I s.n.a.t.c.h the phone from him, unlocking and relocking it to erase the message from the lock screen. But I can't avoid seeing it.

Lux, I don't know what's wrong. Can you at least let me know that you're okay?

Noah watches me closely, but when I don't look up at him, he takes the hint. A few minutes later, he tucks a grilled cheese panini with pesto tortellini and sauteed mushrooms-a favorite dish of mine from one of our local delis-by my elbow. "Wow. This looks amazing." And it smells even better.

I'm sitting at Ella's desk, using the brand new MacBook she and Noah talked me into buying-a business expense, they called it. Whatever it is, I'm enjoying it immensely, though I'm supposed to be working on research for Kinked's marketing plan.

"So what's the deal?"

Noah's penetrating gaze won't give me any peace, so I give in and turn to look at him. "What's what deal?"

He narrows his eyes at me.

I flick a glance at the ceiling with a long sigh. "There's no deal. Fin's out of town."

"And he's worried because you're not responding to his texts." He waits a beat. When I don't say anything, he prods. "Why?"

I've conveniently shoved very hot cheese and bread in my mouth, so it gives me plenty of time to avoid answering. Soon, I'm out of stall tactics. "Because I just haven't. I'm not...cut out for this."

His brows draw together. "You said you loved him."

If I hadn't felt adequately awful, I do now. "I know. I do. But this isn't...I don't know how to deal with this. People going away, missing them, feeling a bit adrift..." I lift a shoulder. "I'll talk to him about it when he gets back."

His concerned look turns to irritation. "And women say men suck at communication. The guy is worried about you, Lux. You should at least tell him you're okay. Please don't tell me he's tried to call you and you haven't answered."

I stare down guiltily at my plate, all appet.i.te vanishing in the wake of my shame.

"Jesus. What the h.e.l.l is wrong with you?" His voice escalates. "You've got some guy on the hook, believing that he's met the love of his life, and you treat him like this? How is this love?"

"How is this any of your business? Who made you the keeper of all appropriate behavior in relationships?" I shove back from the desk, slapping my laptop shut. "What I do or don't do is my affair." I grab my laptop and head for the stairs.