Ruben said, "Really?"

And Ruby said, "Oh, look there's a pink pig, can you see it, up there in the sky?"

As he sloped off, clicking his fingers, she said, "All of the Hinchcliffs have been like that since they were about two."

At which point we noticed Cain, sitting on a gate sucking on a piece of grass.

Ruby said, "What's he up to?"

I said quickly, "Why don't we have a proper run for a bit?"

Too late. Cain saw us and shouted over, "Alright, girls? Going to play with tha dollies? Or have tha got something else to play with?"

I do officially hate him.

I turned my back on him and started walking on, but then Ruby said, "Oh my God, this time he's done it."

I looked round and he was snogging a girl. What was news about that?

I said to Ruby, "That Beverley girl wants her head testing."

Ruby said, "It's not Beverley."

And it wasn't.

Ruby said, "It's Seth's girlfriend."

CHAPTER 16.

Heathcliff, it's me

Tap-tapping at your windooooow When I got to Dother Hall, I felt like a month had gone by, so much had happened. It was really only a few days since I had seen the girls, but I had been through the wringer of life. I wouldn't know where to start to tell them everything.

Was I going to tell them everything?

Did anyone else know about corker rubbing?

As I reached the gates, Vaisey came hurtling out to hug me. Her hair shaking and shimmying about. She said, "Lullah, guess what? Phil told me that Jack thinks I'm cute!!!! Cute!!!"

I said, "Gosh. And goodie. That's goodie. And spiffing and everything."

Vaisey said, "I know, I know. AND Jack is going to be coming here on Friday...because...The Jones have asked him to be their new drummer!"

Oh goodie, The Jones will be around on Friday.

I didn't have any time to talk to the girls about my news because we had mime with Monty, first thing. He was so excited about it that he came and got us ten minutes early. Hustling us into the small studio, he loosened his bow tie and said, "Today we are going to learn how to express ourselves, but not through voice. Let's begin. I will go first."

He put on a sailor's hat and started to sway from side to side.

Then he put a hand over his eye, like he was looking into the distance.

Then he looked sad.

Then he looked into the distance again.

And jumped up and down, looking pleased.

He fell to his knees, putting his hands in prayer position. Then leapt up again and did a war dance.

At the end, he said, "So, girls, what happened?"

Flossie said, "Were you a drunken sailor?"

Monty looked a bit annoyed.

We knew it was some sort of sailor because of the hat, but then Flossie said, "Well, were you on a cross-channel ferry in a storm?"

Monty got exasperated and told us that he was Columbus discovering America.

I don't know how we were supposed to know that.

I said to Vaisey, "Wasn't Columbus Spanish or something? He should have done a little flamenco dance instead of just the swaying."

At that point Ms Fox came in and said, "Hello, carry on as if I am not here."

Then she lay down on the floor.

Monty said, "Now ladies, it is your turn. Think yourself into whatever it is you are portraying. Be the thing or person inside."

We had to get into groups of three and be at a party. The person who was 'being' whatever they were being, had to convey to the other two by their actions what they were 'being'.

I felt strangely calm for once.

I went and crouched on a chair.

I was 'being' Connie.

Like Monty had told us, I thought about the 'qualities' of owliness. My wise nature. Where my home might be. What I had for supper. Mouse, I thought. I began to only really think in hoots. I thought about my bottom being comfortable on a tree. And what I would do if I wanted a pee. I looked around to see how far I could twist my head. And how long I could stare.

No one came near, although Flossie did offer me a mime cheesy wotsit (I think). Then she and Vaisey went back to pretend conversation and mime snack eating.

Eventually I started waving my pretend wing.

Flossie came up, dabbing at the floor, like I had spilt my pretend drink.

This was hopeless.

I caught Vaisey's eye and raised my lower eyelids slowly. Surely, that would do it.

It didn't.

So then I laid an egg.

People can be very thick even when offered the best of mimes. Flossie said, " Are you having a poo?"

Monty said, "I think we will leave it there."

Then everyone had to guess what had gone on.

How on earth could anyone have thought that I was sitting on a spacehopper at a party?

What fool would do that?

Monty said, "So what was the mime all about? You seemed, somehow disturbed and angry. Was there some inner conflict expressed in your performance?"

I said, "Yes, there was, Sir, I was an owl laying an egg and..."

As we went out Blaise Fox said, "Come with me to the roof, Tallulah."

Was I so bad that she was going to push me off?

We went up the windy stairs to the dorm, and then up some tiny narrow stone steps that led to the roof I had never been up to Mrs Rochester land. You could walk along on the flat bits between the towering chimneys, and there was a parapet that went all the way round. And huge gargoyles on every corner of the roof. Blaise led the way and we went to lean on the stone balcony.

You could see for miles over the woods and moors, all the way to Grimbottom. There was a building to the left, beyond the woods, that looked a bit like Dother Hall...Ooh, that must be where Phil and Charlie and Jack were. The mysterious Woolfe Academy.

Ms Fox said, "Do you want to stay here, Tallulah Casey?"

I thought at first she meant 'did I want to stay on the roof', but then I realised she meant at Dother Hall.

So I said, "Oh, yes. I really do. But...you know, you've seen me, the bicycle thing and...It's not enough to just think you want to do something, is it? You have to be able to do it."

She said, "And do you know what I think you can do?"

I said, "Be an idiot?"

She smiled at me, "Yeah, you are quite good at that. But I believe you have a special quality."

Blimey.

She went on. "It's a mix of energy and, I think...a talent for comedy."

Yippee. Maybe.

Blaise looked at me and said, "I've been thinking about our end of summer school Wuthering Heights. It's going to be a musical. And I want you to be the lead."

Crumbs.

Me?

Cathy?

I had the hair for it I could swish it about. And I could sing my song: I'm out on the moors, the windy moors, Let's roll about in mud pools, Or sheep poo, I hate you, I love you tooooo.

Heathcliff, it's me, tap-tapping on your windooooow.

Then I came out of my made-up world.

Wuthering Heights, the musical.

I said, "Um, the only thing is, I can't sing."

And she said, "I know, it's a comedy version. And I want you to be Heathcliff."

When I got back to Heckmondwhite, the whole village was in a state of high excitement as the skipping rope is finished. There is going to be a mass skipathon at nine o'clock with tuba playing. And the village shop is staying open half an hour later, just in case someone needs a bag of humbugs.

I had walked home from Dother Hall in a dream. I was so shocked that I didn't tell the girls what had happened in Mrs Rochester land, I told them I was rushing off to see the owlets. They wanted to come and see them too, but they all had singing lessons.

As I tramped along the woodland path, I was confused.

What does Ms Fox mean, she wants me to play Heathcliff?

He's a boy.

Does she mean I am like a boy?

I tried to ask her, but she said I have to figure it out for myself and to come back to her with my ideas, about how to 'be' Heathcliff And to not feel sorry for myself because it is unattractive in a girl with my knees.

The Dobbins were leaving the house as I got there, taking sandwiches for the skipping participants. Dibdobs gave me a big hug as she left.

She said, "Oooooohhhhhhhhhh."

And the twins hugged my knees and went, "Ooooohhh, sjuuuge."

They are wearing beanie hats. Which I think is a bit cruel of Dibdobs.