"That's what you said," he interrupts me and grips me tighter. "No one hurts me, Julianne. No one. I don't give a flying f.u.c.k what anyone thinks of me. That's what got me through fighting, and it's what's gotten me to where I am now. And then you came into my life, and you just blindsided me. I am so f.u.c.king wrapped up in you I can't see straight, and you tell me I'm a caveman for wanting to protect you and that our relationship is bulls.h.i.t."

Tears are running down my cheeks at the despair and loss on his face. My G.o.d, I had no idea his feelings for me are so strong. That he feels for me the same way that I feel for him.

I've never been so relieved and devastated at the same time. How am I going to fix this?

"I don't know how to deal with it either, Nate." I cup his face in my hands. "I was so sure that you were finished with me, that I'd p.i.s.sed you off so badly that we couldn't fix it. I didn't mean that our relationship is bulls.h.i.t. I didn't." I stress this and look him dead in the eyes. He's watching me, listening, and I continue.

"Everything happened so fast yesterday. I was a mess, and I'm never a mess. You were gone, Carly at work was bragging to me about how she's banging you and running off to New York with you," Nate blanches, but I keep going before he can speak. "And then Luke called, freaking out because Nat's water broke. I just left and went to the hospital, forgetting everything else." I take a deep breath and wipe the tears still flowing down my cheeks away with my fingers.

"When Natalie finally agreed to take the meds, I checked my phone and saw that you'd been trying to reach me, and I called you right away. I swear, I didn't mean to hurt you at all, but I was annoyed that you were annoyed with me, and I had so much going through my head. I said the wrong thing, and I apologize again."

"Jules, I'm sure I could have handled things better too, I just..." he swallows and looks down, carefully choosing his words. "I just hate the fact that I have this primal need inside of me to protect you. I've never felt this about anyone before, and you just don't need me. I'm so proud of you for being the independent, confident, intelligent woman you are, but you don't need me, and I want to take care of you, more than you will ever know."

He releases my shoulders and runs his hands down my arms to link his fingers in mine. He's so wrong. I do need him.

I take a deep breath, stealing myself for the words I'm about to say. I grip his fingers with mine, and realize we're still standing by the doorway. I don't want to break this moment by suggesting we sit, so I look into his eyes again and bare my soul.

"You're so wrong," I whisper. He frowns and looks apprehensive again. "You once said to me that if I'd been paying attention for the past year I would have seen that I'm the only woman you're interested in." I swallow and look down at his chest.

"Look at me," he whispers and I comply, seeing hope in his gorgeous gray eyes.

"Well, if you'd been paying attention, Nate, you would have seen that I've been in love with you since long before we first made love in this apartment." His eyes widen in wonder and my stomach settles as calm washes over me, and I know that this is right. "I do need you. I hated you being away yesterday. I wanted to come home to you last night and tell you all about the baby and the delivery. I need your strength. Yes, I'm a bada.s.s, but there are times that I need someone to hold me up too, and I didn't know until I found you that that doesn't make me weak, it means that I've found my partner."

"Julianne," his voice is rough with emotion and he leans his forehead on mine, wraps his arms around me and holds me close. "Say it again."

"Which part?" I ask with a laugh.

"The good part," he whispers.

"I need you."

"The other good part."

I run my fingers down his smooth cheek and brush my lips over his, breathing him in.

"I love you."

"Oh, baby, I love you too." Nate scoops me into his arms and carries me to his bedroom, turning on the sidelight, and lowers me gently to my feet. He pulls my hair out of the tie holding it off my face and runs his fingers through it.

"I love how soft your hair is." He unzips my simple, black shift dress, letting it fall down my arms and onto the floor. My bra and panties follow it and he steps back, enjoying the view.

"Like what you see?" I ask and smile.

"G.o.d, you're so f.u.c.king hot."

Oh. When he says it like that, my panties go all wet, and I just want to lick him.

"I want you naked, Nate." I walk to him and pull his t-shirt up over his head. He raises his arms and backs out of the shirt, making it easier for me. I unfasten his jeans and slide them, along with his boxer-briefs, down his legs and off his feet as he steps out of them.

Nate lifts me and lays me on the bed. He kisses my stomach, my b.r.e.a.s.t.s and collar bones as he crawls up my body and nestles his large, thick c.o.c.k against my folds. I run my hands down his back to his a.s.s and smile up into his molten gray eyes.

He kisses me, softly, tenderly, brushing my lips in that expert way of his. I lift my legs and wrap them around his hips. As I do, I feel his apa brush against my c.l.i.t and I gasp.

Nate smiles against my lips. "Like that?" he asks.

"G.o.d, yes."

"If you don't, I'll take it out." My wide eyes find his and I cup his face in my hands.

"You don't have to do that for me."

"I'd do anything for you."

And here come a few more tears. G.o.d, when will they stop?

"Julianne, I'll do anything to make you happy." He brushes the hair at my temples off my face and gazes at me with such love it takes my breath away.

"You do make me happy. Keep the apa. I like it." I grin and tilt my hips rubbing him against me and moan again. "I more than like it."

Nate laughs and starts to rock his hips just a little faster, sliding the tiny metal ball against my c.l.i.t with each stroke.

"G.o.d, don't stop doing that." I push my hands into his black hair and hold his face to mine, kissing him pa.s.sionately as those little metal b.a.l.l.s do amazing things to me. "Oh, honey, s.h.i.t..."

"Yes, baby, let go." He rocks once, twice more and bites gently on my lower lip and I fall over the edge. He reaches down between us and guides himself inside me, slowly stretching me, and my already sensitive muscles clench around him tightly.

"f.u.c.k, don't do that. I'll come too fast."

"I can't help it, you feel so d.a.m.n good."

He cups my breast in his hand and ma.s.sages the nipple as he moves in and out of me at the slow, easy pace, watching my face, smiling softly down at me. "You are amazing. I love watching your beautiful face when I'm inside you."

G.o.d I love it when he talks like this.

"Faster, babe," I whisper, but his grin widens and he keeps the same gentle pace.

"No, this is going to have to be slow and steady, baby." His mouth finds mine once again, and his tongue teases me, his mouth slowly moves across my own, his whole body loving mine, oh so slowly.

"I missed you so much," I whisper against his lips.

"I hated being so far from you." His hips start to move just a tiny bit faster and I rake my nails down Nate's back to his a.s.s and hold on. "G.o.d, you make me crazy."

"Good." I feel my body tightening, another o.r.g.a.s.m approaching, and I cling to him, wrapping myself around him. My body shudders with my release, and Nate clenches his jaw, rests his forehead against mine and surrenders to his own climax, whispering my name.

Chapter Eighteen.

"How did you get fresh chocolate cheesecake in your fridge while you were gone?" We are seated at the breakfast bar, me in his gray t-shirt and panties, and Nate just in his black jeans, the top b.u.t.ton undone.

He looks as delicious as this decadent cake.

"I had my housekeeper bring it in." He grins and offers me a bite from his own plate and I happily accept.

"I didn't know you have a housekeeper. I never see her."

"She only comes in once a week while I'm at work. I don't need someone full time." I put my foot up in his lap and he starts to rub the arch.

"Okay, I'm in girl heaven. Chocolate and a foot rub. Men think we're so hard to figure out, but it really just boils down to this." I close my eyes and enjoy his thumb rubbing up and down the sole of my foot.

"So noted." He chuckles and clears our plates. "Come on."

I take his offered hand and he leads me to the couch. He sits in the middle and motions for me to sit at the end. He pulls my bare legs up into his lap and I turn so my back is against the arm of the couch and he continues to ma.s.sage my feet.

Oh, I love him.

"So, tell me about yesterday."

I sigh in contentment and smile at my s.e.xy man. "The baby is amazing. It was a rather quick labor, for a first baby, and Nat did great. Luke almost pa.s.sed out when Olivia's head crowned, but I talked him down from the ledge."

I laugh at the memory.

"Natalie was incredible. She's so strong. I've never seen anything like it. It was the best birth control I've ever seen. I'm doubling up my pills from now on. I don't care if I become a mutant from the hormones."

"Baby, you're so strong, childbirth would be a snap for you."

Why is he sitting here, calmly talking about me having babies?

"h.e.l.l to the no." I shake my head vigorously. "No babies are coming out of this body."

He eyes me speculatively. "Are you saying you don't want children?"

I pause. He's being serious. "I don't know." I frown and look down at his strong hand on my foot. "I've never thought about it."

"Think about it." He suggests.

"Someday." I shrug.

"I'd like to go see them tomorrow after work." He turns the conversation back to Natalie and starts to rub the other foot and I moan.

"They'd love that."

"You'll come with me." His gray eyes find mine and he smiles softly.

"Okay."

He runs his hand up and down my bare leg, his eyes following his movement. "You have great skin, baby."

"Natalie has a tattoo on her vajay-jay." I blurt out.

"What?" Nate gapes at me, his jaw dropped.

"I had no idea, but I saw it with my own eyes. It's actually right here," I point down to my freshly waxed, panty-covered pubis.

"I don't know if I need to know this. If Luke knew something like that about you, I'd kick his a.s.s."

"I have to tell someone, and you're the only one I can tell." I laugh and link my fingers with his.

"What is it?" he asks.

"It's script in a foreign language. All of her tattoos are. She won't tell me what it means." I shrug.

"All of her tattoos? How many does she have? I've never seen any."

"I'm not sure how many she has. I don't know if I've seen them all. She puts them where you can't see them when she has clothes on. My point was," I trace the tattoo on his forearm with my finger. "What is up with you guys letting some creep put needles in your genitalia?"

"I thought you liked it." He gives me a wolfish grin and I laugh.

"I do, but why in the world would you do it in the first place?"

"I was a twenty-year-old kid who wanted to impress chicks." He shrugs and grins.

"Why did you keep it all this time?" I ask.

"Because I went through h.e.l.l to get it. It hurt like a sonofab.i.t.c.h."

"Poor baby." I pat his cheek roughly and giggle when he grabs my wrist and bites my palm.

"Okay, so if we're done talking about babies and needles in sensitive places, tell me exactly what Carly told you yesterday." His face is completely serious, and his eyes look a little p.i.s.sed.

I didn't mean to let that slip.

"It was nothing, really. I know she's full of s.h.i.t." I pull my feet out of his lap, but he grips my calf and holds me in place.

"What did she say, Julianne?"

I sigh. "She's told me twice now that she's dating you. Once the day that your ex was in your office, and again yesterday. I know it's a lie, so I shrugged it off the first time, but yesterday it was like she was going out of her way to tell me about you two, and even asked me to work her accounts for her so she could leave early for a date she had with you."

Nate scowls and clenches his jaw. "Go on."

"She seemed embarra.s.sed when I told her you'd gone out of town, but then her phone chirped with a text, and when she looked at it, she said it was you with her itinerary to join you in New York. I don't get it. She's been a complete hag since the day she started this job, but I don't understand what she's doing with this elaborate story of hers." I watch the flames in the fireplace and pull at my bottom lip with my fingers.

"What do you mean, she's been a hag?" Nate asks, his voice deceptively calm.

"Oh, she hates me."